


Something Worth Fighting For

by songsforfelurian



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Action/Adventure, Anal Fingering, Anal Play, Anal Sex, Angst, Canon Gay Character, Come Eating, Developing Relationship, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Frottage, LGBTQ Character, Light restraint, Love, M/M, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Plot With Porn, Polyamorous Character, Polyamory, Rimming, Science Fiction, Season 6 Spoilers, Season 7 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-14
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-06-27 03:24:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 127,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15677055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/songsforfelurian/pseuds/songsforfelurian
Summary: Keith frowned, scolding himself. That wasn’t fair. He wasn’t spending time with Lance because things had gotten complicated with Shiro. He would’ve been spending time with Lance, regardless. He would’ve liked Lance, regardless.He liked Lance. So much.And he loved Shiro, as much as he’d ever loved anyone or anything.xxxI'm so excited to share my first Voltron work with you! I love the show and the characters, and I'll try my best to do them justice.This is a love story. The Keith/Shiro and Keith/Lance pairings will be featured at the beginning, though Shiro/Lance will eventually be explored in detail, as will the Keith/Shiro/Lance triad. If you like any of those ships, please give it a try- I bet you'll find something to enjoy!This story is canon compliant through the end of Season 6. The events take place between Shiro's resurrection and the team's return to Earth. In this version, the team was close enough to the planet Olkarion to fly there and recover after the destruction of the Castle of Lions. Sci-fi/action, romance, explicit!Find me on Tumblr, @songsforfelurian, or Twitter, @forfelurian





	1. Everything Hurts

Laying down was worse than standing up.

Allura and Krolia had tried to fuss over Keith’s injuries once they’d landed on Olkarion, but Keith had managed to stall the conversation while the team transported Shiro’s healing pod to a secure location. It had only been twenty-four hours since Allura had performed the miracle that had saved Shiro’s life, but for Keith, it felt like a lifetime. Shiro had been unconscious since, lying motionless and ghostly pale in their single remaining pod, and moving him to safety had been everyone’s top priority, much to Keith’s relief. He couldn’t bear the thought of anyone poking or prodding or examining him just now, and as much as it pained him even further to leave Shiro’s side, he’d snuck away to his temporary quarters while Allura and Krolia had been distracted by the Olkari healers.

He had found his room stocked with food, water, and a change of clothes, and he’d made a mental note to be gracious with their Olkari hosts after getting a good night’s sleep. Team Voltron had arrived at Olkarion with their resources almost entirely depleted – they’d been lucky that their lions had had enough power to make it to a friendly planet at all – and even though the Olkari only had a few hours’ advanced notice, the paladins had been received as heroes.

Keith tried to shift onto his side on his narrow bunk, wincing in pain. He didn’t feel particularly heroic. He felt like an insolent child all over again, refusing to let the Garrison medical officer treat his scraped knuckles or bloody nose.

Shiro would not be impressed.

He tried to shift his position again and groaned audibly this time, his hand moving involuntarily to his ribcage, which only made the pain worse. His wolf raised its head from the floor and whimpered a little, and Keith pushed himself into a sitting position and gave the animal a weak smile.

“It’s okay, buddy. It’s just a few scrapes.”

The wolf eyed him disapprovingly. He sighed.

“Don’t look at me like that. I just need to stretch, or something.”

The wolf looked unconvinced, but it laid back down and closed its eyes again.

Keith took a handful of shallow breaths, and the pain started to ease. He briefly considered trying to fall asleep sitting up, but the Olkari had only left a single pillow in his room, and as exhausted as he was, he knew he’d never be able to get comfortable leaning against the wall. He decided to try to find some more pillows, or walk the halls until the exhaustion overtook the pain.

He told the wolf to stay put, then left his quarters and started walking. He was already halfway down the hall before he realized where he was headed, and he stopped a few feet away from the medical observation room where Shiro slept, listening for voices. It had been a couple of hours since everyone had started to disperse to their individual quarters, and he didn’t hear any noise coming from the room, so he stepped inside, and found a single Olkari monitoring an electronic panel next to Shiro’s pod. She looked up and smiled broadly at him.

“Good evening, Paladin. How can I help you?”

“Uh… I’m sorry, I just… how is he doing?”

“His vitals are strong. There’s been no change since you arrived. The smallest paladin shared some crucial data with us, so we will be studying human physiology to see if we can aid in the silver-haired warrior’s recovery.”

Keith forced a smile. “We owe you all so much. You’ve probably saved all our lives.”

“As all of you have done for us, and so many others.”

He walked to the healing pod and looked at Shiro’s sleeping face. He resisted the urge to rest his hand on the translucent barrier that was keeping them apart.

“What’s your name?” he asked the healer.

“Callos. I'm pleased to be at your service.” She was looking at him, her wide eyes kind and curious.

“Thank you. Um. I was actually wondering… do you know where I could find some extra pillows?”

“I’ll have some brought to your room immediately. How many would you like?”

“Four or five, if you can spare them.”

“We can spare much for the paladins of Voltron.”

“Thank you. And… thanks for watching over him.”

“We’ll alert you if there is any change.”

“Okay. Um… good night.”

“Rest well, Paladin.”

He walked back to the hallway, feeling more restless than ever. He could practically feel Shiro’s disapproval from the astral plane – he guessed that if he slipped into a meditative state, Shiro would be there, waiting for him, wearing a scowl that could transcend the boundaries of space and time – and he made a silent vow to let someone determine the extent of his injuries if he didn’t feel better by morning.

He stopped walking, leaned against the wall, and closed his eyes, suddenly unable to tell the difference between the pain in his ribs and the ache in his heart. And it wasn’t just because Shiro was lying unconscious in a pod. It was because a monster wearing Shiro’s face had tried to end his life. It was because there was a chance that Shiro might never be the same again. It was because everyone was expecting him to lead, now, even though he’d never felt less heroic in his life. It was because he’d abandoned the only friends he’d ever had, leaving them to face some of the darkest moments of their lives without him, and now that they needed him more than ever, he barely knew them, anymore.

He felt Shiro’s disapproval tugging at the corners of his mind. He opened his eyes and stared at the door across the hall for a long time.

 

* * *

 

 

Lance was weary to his bones.

He was lying on his back, on his bunk, and the tide of emotion that had been rising in his chest for far too long was finally overtaking him.

_Three years._

That was how much time had passed while they’d been battling Lotor inside the quintessence field, and they had barely begun to understand everything that had happened in their absence. Lance was counting the panels on yet another unfamiliar ceiling, thinking about how long it had taken for his room on the Castle of Lions to start to feel like home, and wondering how Allura was feeling, all alone in her quarters down the hall, after losing the only place that had connected her to her family and her people.

After being brutally betrayed by the man she’d fallen in love with.

Lance sighed. He never would’ve hurt her, like that. If only she had chosen him instead. If only he could figure out how to matter more to her. How to be _better._ A better problem-solver, like Pidge. A better teammate, like Hunk. A better fighter, like Keith. A better leader, like Shiro…

But Shiro hadn’t been the leader they thought he was. Not for a long time.

Shiro had _died._

The person Lance admired most in the world had left him, and an imposter had taken his place, and it was a violation unlike anything he’d ever experienced before. He thought back to the day that not-Shiro had returned to them, and how he’d cried himself to sleep that night, dizzy with relief and gratitude. He recalled the days he’d spent helping not-Shiro regain his strength and rediscover his confidence, how the imposter had made him feel like he was starting to evolve, like he’d helped hold the team together in Shiro’s absence, like he finally _mattered_ in some essential way. And not just to the team, or to the mission, but to _Shiro_ , too. He remembered every single order that not-Shiro – his enemy – had given him. And he remembered how the _real_ Shiro had called out to him in warning, and in pain, and in loneliness.

He pressed the side of his face against his pillow and felt something inside himself start to break apart, because his own loneliness ran deep, now, too.

And then he heard a low tone – someone was at his door – and his weariness vanished. He didn’t care who was on the other side of the door, because he needed to escape from himself. Because he couldn’t bear to spend one more second alone.

He jumped up from the bed and tapped the door control, and Keith was there, leaning against the frame, looking about as broken as he felt.

“Hey,” Keith said.

“Hey, yourself,” Lance said.

“Could we talk?”

“Yeah.”

Lance moved to the side to let Keith pass. He tapped at the panel again, and the door slid closed.

“How’s Shiro?” Lance asked. He was shocked that Keith was here, in his quarters, instead of at Shiro’s side.

“He’s alive. Aside from that…” Keith sighed. “I have no idea. I think he’ll need some time to heal. We all will.”

Lance nodded. He raised his hand in Keith’s direction, and then paused, and touched his own face, instead, staring at the fresh scar on Keith’s cheek.

“Does it hurt?”

“Everything hurts.”

Lance swallowed. Keith had always been blunt, but some of his recent admissions felt startlingly personal. His communication style hadn’t evolved much, but Keith certainly had.

“Thank you. For bringing him back.”

Keith nodded. “He would’ve done the same for any one of us.”

“I know. But none of us could have done what you did.”

Keith looked away and raised a hand to the back of his neck, blushing a little. Lance had seen him make this gesture before, but it looked different to him, now. Keith was taller, and he looked so much _older._ It made Lance feel small and inconsequential, all over again.

“Lance… listen…” Keith was looking at him again. “Hunk told me what happened with Allura.”

Lance felt himself blushing, now, too, and his temper flared. “Oh, so you came here to gloat, huh? The girl of my dreams fell for someone else, and you couldn’t wait to rub it in?”

Keith scowled. “What? No! What are you even talking about?”

“Allura and Lotor, obviously!” In the past, Lance had always had about ten different biting remarks at the ready for the next time Keith got under his skin, but he was out of practice. “Come on,” he went on, running out of steam. “Say what you want to say, and then just… let me get some sleep.”

Keith’s eyes had gone wide. “You’re in love with Allura?”

“Well… yeah. Where have you been?”

He knew how stupid the question was as soon as it was out of his mouth. Keith had been gone. It had been a long time since they’d spent every day in each other’s company, catching glimpses of each other’s secrets as they trained and flew and fought together as one.

“I just meant… I didn’t really try that hard to hide it. I figured everyone knew.”

“Well, I guess I just thought it was more of a… crush,” Keith said, running a hand through his hair, clearly uncomfortable with the direction the conversation was moving in.

“It was, at first. I mean, I didn’t even know her. But now I do. And she’s _perfect_. I should’ve known I never had a shot. I just thought… I don’t know. I thought we were getting closer. I thought there was a chance.” He examined Keith’s wide-eyed expression. “Oh, go ahead. Tell me what an idiot I was.”

“No, I… I’m sorry, Lance. It must have been really hard for you to see her with someone else.”

Lance stared. Keith was _comforting_ him? They had only spoken to each other like this once before, and he’d written it off as a fluke. A moment of unintentional vulnerability in the face of almost certain death.

“Anyway,” Keith said, after an uncomfortably long silence. “I didn’t even know about any of that. I was talking about… well… Hunk told me you _died_.”

“Oh.” Lance folded his arms across his chest. “Right. Yeah.”

“So… I just wanted to see how you were.”

Lance shrugged. “Pretty mobile for a corpse, I guess.”

“Lance. That’s not funny.” Keith’s expression was serious. “You could’ve… I mean, you almost…” He turned away, his hands on his hips, and shook his head. “I’m sorry. I should’ve been there.”

“What? No, Keith…” Lance balled his hands into fists, feeling so off-balance, he could barely hear himself think. “Look… I know I said some things before you left, but you made the right choice. I know that now. We’ve all had to make impossible decisions, and we’ve all done our best. You don’t need to apologize.”

“I do. I left you.” Keith swallowed. “I left all of you with that _thing-_ ”

Lance reached out reflexively and took hold of his arm.

“Keith, stop, okay? It’s all right. We all made it. We all get to go home, because of you.”

Keith was staring at him again, with eyes he barely recognized. And then Keith cracked a smile, and then he started to laugh.

“What?” Lance was confused, and then annoyed, and then angry as Keith continued to laugh softly, almost to himself. He let go of Keith’s arm. “ _What_? What’s so funny?”

“You were more worried about Allura and Lotor than the fact that you _died._ I’m sorry, it’s just… it’s so _you,_ to be more concerned about a crush than the fact that you were literally _raised_ from the dead…”

He continued to laugh, and Lance scowled at him. “It wasn’t just a crush, mullet. I love her.”

Keith laughed even harder. “See? That’s still what you’re worried about?”

Lance opened his mouth, ready to throw Keith out of his room, but then he hesitated, watching as Keith went on laughing and wincing a little, holding his chest like it was sore. And then he heard himself giggling, too, and then laughing in earnest, right along with Keith.

It _was_ ridiculous. He’d been to hell and back since they’d left Earth. He’d left his home and his family behind him, and he’d lost the person he admired most in the world, twice. He’d even lost his own life. And yet here he was, sulking because a girl didn’t like him back.

Their bout of silly, exhausted laughter eventually passed, and Keith brushed his hair back from his face, and said, “I’m sorry, man. I really didn’t come here to give you a hard time.”

Lance nodded. “I know.”

“And… listen. I know what it’s like, to really… _care_ about another person. I mean, I know what it’s like to want something, with someone, even though you know you can never have it.”

Lance was holding himself still, now, listening intently. He knew who Keith was talking about.

He was talking about Shiro.

“Keith, I-”

“I just meant,” Keith interrupted, “we can talk, if you want to. I feel bad that I left. I feel bad that I haven’t been here. So if you want to talk… you know where to find me.”

“I do,” Lance said, without thinking. “I do want to talk.”

Keith nodded. “Okay. Uh. How about tomorrow? After we get some sleep?”

“Yeah. Tomorrow is good.”

“Okay.” Keith smiled. He extended his hand, and Lance shook it. “See you in the morning?”

“Yeah,” Lance said. He tapped the panel on the wall to open the door. “See you then.”

Keith stepped into the hallway, gave him a small wave, and then walked out of his field of vision. Lance tapped the panel one more time and found himself alone, once again.

The small, sparsely furnished room felt different, now, though. He tried to examine what he was feeling while he undressed and slid under the covers, and he discovered he was grateful that Keith had come to see him. Keith had been downright distraught over what had happened while he’d been gone. Keith cared that he was alive. Enough to come see him in the middle of the night.

Enough to laugh with him, more freely than Lance had ever seen him laugh before.

They had all been to hell and back. Lance hardly recognized himself when he looked in the mirror these days. But not all the changes were unwelcome.

Some things were changing for the better.

 

* * *

 

Keith woke up a few hours later, not because he was particularly well-rested, but because the pain in his ribs had finally become unbearable. He’d fallen asleep propped up against a mountain of pillows, which saved him the trouble of maneuvering into a sitting position, but the act of standing up from his bunk elicited a strangled yelp. He clamped one hand over his mouth, clutching at his chest, and his wolf sat up on its hind legs, whimpering softly.

“I know,” he managed, swallowing hard. “I’m going right now.”

The wolf padded to the wall and tapped the exit panel with its paw. The door slid open, and the wolf walked into the hallway, then stared at Keith expectantly.

“Okay… I guess we’re both going.”

The wolf let out a small yip, and Keith followed it down the hallway to the observation room. Callos was still there, scrolling on the display next to Shiro’s pod.

“Oh, Paladin, you’ve barely rested.” She looked him over, concern in her expression. “The silver-haired warrior still sleeps. You should, as well.”

He nodded. “I know. It’s just… I’m… injured.”

Her eyes widened with alarm. “Should I summon the princess?”

“No, I… I don’t want to worry her. I was hoping you or one of the other healers could take a look for me.”

She pressed her fingertips together in what he guessed was a nervous gesture.

“I have only just begun studying your physiology… but maybe I can use the data as a guide if you describe the injury to me. May I examine you?”

“Yeah.”

She led him to an empty examination table on the far side of the room, and he sat down on it, wincing in pain even though he kept his weight on his uninjured arm. He removed his shirt with an effort, then rested his hand lightly over the primary source of discomfort.

“My heart is here. There are curved bones that form a cage around it. Ribs. I think a couple of them might be broken.”

“Is that purple area a normal variant in skin color?”

“No. It’s a bruise.”

“ _All_ of those are bruises?”

Keith looked down. He hadn’t examined himself closely under a bright light, and he saw that he was covered in bruises and abrasions that varied in size and color. He tried to find an unblemished patch of skin, and settled on his right bicep.

“My skin is supposed to look like this, all over.”

She blinked at him, her expression unreadable, then said, “Where else do you feel pain?”

“Here.” He gestured to his left shoulder. “I thought it was just sore, but I can barely move it today.”

She nodded. “It will take me some time to parse the data, but we should be able to dull the pain temporarily. I’ll summon another healer to assist you while you wait.”

She went back to the panel and tapped at it, then started scrolling, her eyes locked on the screen. Keith deliberated for a moment, then walked over to Shiro’s pod and examined his face. His expression looked a little different than it had the night before. Had he been dreaming? Was he in pain?

Keith glanced at the healer and found her absorbed in her research, so he rested his palm against the translucent surface of the pod and closed his eyes.

It was once a massive effort, chasing after the state of mind that allowed him to bond with his lion and his teammates. But now he could slip into it easily, and he couldn’t help but wonder whether Shiro had been the one to finally calm the storm he used to carry inside himself. He had connected more deeply with Shiro than he’d ever imagined possible when he’d been piloting the black lion, and even though he knew he was there, sleeping inside this pod, he felt like a part of Shiro had come to life inside his mind. It was strange, and unsettling, and… _exciting._ So he lowered himself into the depths of calm vulnerability, and he reached out with his mind, and caught a glimpse of Shiro at the edges of the darkness.

No, it wasn’t a glimpse. He couldn’t _see_ anything. It was a flavor. A whisper. A hint of something familiar, like a measure of a song half-heard through some faraway speakers.

_Shiro._

The notes stabilized. The song started to take shape.

_It’s me. It’s Keith. I’m here._

There was a shimmer in the twilight.

_Keith… you found me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! Thank you so much for stopping by! If you enjoyed this chapter, please consider taking a moment to leave me a comment. If you do feel strongly about sending me a critique or criticism at any point, please do so as politely as possible. I love interacting with readers and I promise to always treat you with kindness and respect!
> 
> Find me on Tumblr @songsforfelurian


	2. Metaphysical Concerns

Keith smiled. He tried to let the flavor of the gesture drift into the twilight.

_Shiro. I knew it. I knew I could find you._

_You always do._

_When will you be back?_

_Soon._

“Paladin?”

Keith’s eyes flew open. He found the wolf at his side, pointing its nose at the Olkari healer that had just walked into the room. He rested his hand on top of the wolf’s head, and it snuffled and relaxed.

“Hi. Thanks for coming. You can call me Keith.”

“And I am Luca. I’m pleased to be at your service.” The healer approached him, holding a cylindrical vial that looked like it was made of glass. “We are learning that our two species have much in common. Based on our physiological similarities, we believe you can trial this formulation without risking any dangerous side effects.”

“How does it work?”

The healer hesitated. “It… allows you to decide whether to feel the pain.”

Keith raised his eyebrows. “’Allows me to decide?’”

“Yes.” The healer paused again, looking thoughtful. “We all have a connection to our _selves._ Our physical selves. When we are cut, we form a scab. We fuse the tissue. We heal. Most of the time, we cannot control this process. But the link is there, between body and mind. Our race learned of it slowly, over many generations, though it still takes years of discipline and training to gain control. This distillation is designed to strengthen the link, for those of us who are still learning.”

“And you think it’ll be safe?”

“In small doses, yes. With your permission, I will guide you through the process.”

“Okay. Let’s give it a try.”

The healer retrieved a pillow from a closet against the far wall, then helped Keith back onto the examination table. Keith usually avoided touching strangers whenever possible, but the pain had pushed the concern far from his mind, and the healer’s strong hands offered welcome support as he lay down on his back.

“How will I know if it’s working?” he asked, as Luca removed the lid from the vial, revealing a glass dropper inside.

“Your senses will sharpen. If the lights seem unusually bright, the distillation is in full effect. We will try one drop at a time.”

He held the dropper close to Keith’s face, and Keith opened his mouth, allowing him to place a single drop of the liquid on his tongue.

“It should take effect quickly,” the healer said, "but we will give it some time.”

Keith sighed and stared up at the ceiling, establishing a baseline for the brightness of the recessed lights. They were in a building inside the original Olkari city, rather than the forest settlement the Olkari had built after the Galra invaded, which made sense. There was plenty of space here for living quarters, and the paladins could make use of the Olkari’s incredible advancements in engineering, as well as the lingering Galra supplies and technology. Keith recognized the Galra tech in this room in particular, and he wondered what the Galra had done here during their occupation of this planet.

“Is it hard to be here?” Keith asked Luca. “I mean, after everything the Galra put your people through?”

The healer blinked at him. “Your concern is appreciated, Paladin, but it is unnecessary. We are a free people, because of Team Voltron. We do not dwell on what we could have lost, when we have gained so much.”

Keith took this in. It was an optimistic attitude, for someone whose people had been enslaved only a short time ago. He could picture Shiro saying something similar.

“I’m sorry, anyway,” he said. “For what you all went through.”

“Pain can either be a burden to carry, or a path toward something better. It is our responsibility to choose wisely, even when that choice is a difficult one.”

This sentiment felt familiar. The paladins had had to set their pain and personal struggles aside over and over again since they’d left Earth. And even though it had taken them some time to adjust, they were all willing to sacrifice everything for the cause.

 _Except for me,_ Keith thought, glancing at the healing pod.

A handful of minutes ticked by before the healer spoke again.

“Any change in your vision, Paladin?”

“No. Not that I can tell, anyway.”

“We will increase the dose, then.”

The healer placed another drop of the liquid on Keith’s tongue, and he gazed up at the ceiling again.

He noticed a change within a couple of minutes, this time. The glow from the recessed lights seemed to bloom and spread, until the ceiling seemed closer and clearer. He glanced over at the pod and found that the bluish glow from within it had spread, too, and that he could make out every detail of Shiro’s sleeping face, just from his reflection in the glass-like surface.

“I think it’s working,” he said. The healer nodded.

“Now we must redirect your attention. It would help if you closed your eyes.”

Keith did as he was told, and he fell almost immediately into the meditative state he’d used to contact Shiro only a few minutes earlier. When the healer spoke again, it was almost as if his voice had originated inside Keith’s mind.

Keith did his best to follow his instructions, extending his mind to the point of discomfort in his ribs, and imagining that he could gather the pain into a white-hot ball of energy that he could contain between his palms. He focused on the ball, and imagined it growing gradually dimmer and cooler against his skin, until the discomfort was more tolerable. He took a long, slow breath.

“It feels better.” He kept his eyes closed as he spoke.

“Well done, Paladin.”

“Could I make the pain stop completely?”

“Possibly, but you should not try. You must be able to identify your injuries, so that you don’t cause further damage.”

“Right. That makes sense.”

“Are you ready to continue?”

“Yes.”

Keith followed Luca’s instructions once again, setting the ball of energy beside himself, where it hovered in the air at waist height. He could still feel it once he let it go, just as he could still feel the pain in his ribs, but it was barely a distraction, now.

He extended his mind to the pain in his shoulder, and another blazing orb appeared between his palms, this one reddish in color. It was unnerving to feel bands of flaming energy licking at his fingertips when he knew his hands were actually empty, resting on the smooth surface of the table. He concentrated on urging the orb to cool, and gradually, it did, and the pain in his shoulder faded to a dull ache along with it. He set that orb aside, too.

“Okay, I think it worked. It feels… oh… _ahh_ -”

“Paladin?” The healer’s voice sounded further away, now.

“It hurts… something hurts… I can’t tell where it’s coming from…”

Keith put one hand on his stomach, then slid it down to his thigh. He was sore in both of these places, but the discomfort was dull and small, nothing like the screaming pain that had just erupted inside himself.

“Are you in emotional distress?”

“What?” Keith’s eyes were still squeezed shut.

“It’s possible that the recession of your physical discomfort has called your attention to more metaphysical concerns.”

“Metaphysical- what?”

“I apologize, Paladin. I should have anticipated that your soul might be injured, as well. The process is the same. You must find the source of the discomfort and encourage it to diminish.”

Keith scanned the shimmering twilight around him, searching frantically for the source of the pain that was attacking him from all sides-

_Keith._

The twilight shivered.

_Shiro?_

_Keith- I’m sorry-_

Shiro appeared in front of him, holding a writhing ball of purple and black energy between his palms.

_Shiro! No! I’m supposed to hold that-_

_No- This is my fault-_

Shiro spoke through gritted teeth, and Keith reached out reflexively and grasped onto his forearms, trying to absorb some of the heat and impact from the orb. The blistering energy licked at his wrists and forearms, and he winced in pain. He focused on the orb and begged it to cool, desperate to spare Shiro from being hurt. He was already weak – he was supposed to be healing – so Keith needed to protect him. He had done it before. He could do it again. He could do it over, and over, and-

_I know. I wish I had been there to protect you, too._

Shiro spoke as if he knew what Keith was thinking, which, of course, he did.

_No, Shiro, it’s okay-_

_It’s not. I’ve been inside your mind. I know you see my face when you close your eyes. When you remember what I did… what I said…_

_It wasn’t you! I know it wasn’t!_

_It doesn’t matter. I left you. I couldn’t protect you when you needed me the most._

There it was. The source. The piece of truth that Keith had been trying so hard to hide from.

The orb started to cool.

 _It’s been a long time since you could count on me,_ Shiro went on. _I wanted to stay by your side. I wanted to keep you safe. But we both know that I can’t._

The ribbons of energy slowed and then stilled, until the orb was just a sphere of purplish light. Shiro let it go, and it hovered in the air between them for a moment before Keith took hold of it. It was still painful to touch, but the discomfort was tolerable. He could hold it on his own, now.

_Are your hands all right?_

Shiro smiled.

_These aren’t really my hands. But it’s nice to remember what it felt like to have two._

Keith set the orb down next to the others. He could still feel all three of them pulsing in a dull ache, but the relief was unbelievable, compared to the searing pain that had been eating away at him moments before. He returned Shiro’s smile.

_How is this happening right now? We’re inside the city on Olkarion. I’m nowhere near the black lion._

Shiro shrugged.

_Your guess is as good as mine._

_How did you know to come find me?_

_I heard you. I could feel the pain. I’m so sorry I hurt you._

Keith hesitated, then said, _Can you still hear me? Do you know what I’m thinking?_

_Keith-_

_Because I heard you. I know what was in your mind when you came to me in the black lion. Why didn’t you ever tell me-?_

_Keith._ Shiro’s voice was soft, but firm. His image was shimmering, the outline starting to drift, like the tail of a comet. _I can’t do this. You know I can’t._

Keith forced himself to swallow the words. Desperate as he was to say them out loud, he would’ve done anything Shiro asked of him.

Anything.

 _Will you remember this when you wake up?_ Keith asked, after a long moment.

_I don’t know._

He reached for Shiro’s right hand and held it.

Shiro let him.

_I’m so sorry, Keith. For so many things._

He disappeared.

Keith opened his eyes.

 

* * *

 

Luca took his leave shortly afterward, and Keith remained on his back on the table while Callos continued her study of the scans, records and texts that Pidge had downloaded to the Olkari database. He stared at the ceiling, idly stroking the wolf’s ears, thinking about the insight he had just gained from his time on the astral plane.

From what he could tell, Shiro’s consciousness seemed intact. _Felt_ intact. And Shiro seemed strong, too – strong enough to find Keith within the vastness of the astral plane. Strong enough to withstand the effects of that blistering orb. Of course, Keith knew that the orb wasn’t real, but the pain certainly was, and Shiro had been hit with it, full force.

But how had it happened? The visualization of the orb was just an exercise. An exercise that had been happening inside Keith’s mind. So why did Shiro appear with an orb that was supposed to belong to Keith? Why had the orb looked so different from the other two?

And how had Shiro manifested inside Keith’s visualization in the first place?

“Paladin? How do you feel?”

Keith snapped himself out of his reverie and focused on Callos, who had moved to his side while he’d been distracted.

“Much better. Thank you.”

“I feel confident enough to do a more thorough exam, now. I believe I may be able to help you heal. May I put my hand on your chest?”

Keith nodded, grateful that she’d asked for permission, first. He took a slow breath as Callos laid her hand over the bruise on his ribcage. It felt warm at first, and then a cool, tingling sensation started to spread outward from where her palm was pressed against his skin. She closed her eyes, seemingly in concentration, but then Keith noticed that there were tears gathering at the corners of her eyelids. One of them spilled down her cheek and onto the floor, and the wolf snuffled and let out a soft, mournful howl.

“Callos?”

She kept her eyes closed.

“So much suffering, for someone so young. For someone so noble.” She paused for a moment, then said, “My brother was among the engineers that were held captive by the Galra. He is safe, because of you. If I could shoulder your burdens for you, I would.”

Keith swallowed against the lump rising in the back of his throat.

“You’ve already done so much for us.”

“I hope I can do more. I believe I can help you heal.”

“Really?”

She finally opened her eyes.

“Yes. You have fractures in three of your ribs. One other is on the brink of further damage. I’m concerned about attempting to heal your injuries all at once – I can’t predict how your nervous system would react to something so unusual – but I believe I can safely encourage the bones to heal more quickly than they normally would.”

“How quickly?”

“The damage would be repaired by this time tomorrow, as long as you don’t incur any further injuries before then.”

“Wow. And you think it’s safe to try?”

“I do. I believe you will feel more fatigued than usual, since your body will expend excess energy in an accelerated timeframe. You will need to eat, drink, and sleep much more than you normally would until the process is complete.”

“That shouldn’t be a problem.”

“May I have your permission to proceed?”

“Yes.”

Callos took a long, slow breath and closed her eyes again. The cool, tingling sensation intensified until her hand felt like ice against Keith’s skin, and then he felt pins and needles inside his chest, like the waking of a sleeping limb. Making note of the additional discomfort, Keith did what Luca had suggested. He closed his eyes and visualized a new orb, this one crackling with bluish sparks, and he made sure he could control the intensity of the pain before he opened his eyes again.

“How do you feel, Paladin?”

“Fine. The exercise Luca taught me is working well.”

“Apparently so. There are few who could utilize such a technique without extensive training. Your success as a paladin has afforded you a kind of metaphysical acuity that is similar to our own.”

“Really? Piloting the lions is similar to the way you can manipulate the environment?”

“Yes. Both require an awareness of the link between matter and consciousness, and the ability to harness that link.”

Keith nodded. “That makes a lot of sense, actually.”

Callos opened her eyes. “I believe your ribs are already starting to mend. Shall we move on to your shoulder?”

“Yeah.”

She moved her hand up and to the right, assessing the anatomy first, then making contact with the torn muscle she found in Keith’s shoulder. He added one more orb to his collection as she worked, and he was already yawning by the time she pulled her hand away.

She brought him a glass bottle filled with translucent liquid and an edible cube that fit in the palm of his hand, and he finished both of them before she allowed him to stand up from the table.

“You will find these in your room, along with several other food and drink options. I’ve updated your panel with the details of your suggested calorie and fluid intake. I recommend that you sleep for as long as you possibly can, and then eat and drink as soon as you wake. Would you like me to escort you to your quarters?”

He finished stifling another yawn.

“I think I can make it. Thank you, though. For everything.”

 

* * *

 

_“Keith?”_

_“Mmf. Shiro?”_

_“Hey… Keith? Are you in there?”_

_“Huh?”_

Keith struggled to open his eyes. He was lying on his back on his bunk, and he had no idea how long he’d been asleep. He tried to sit up and found that he was too exhausted to do so. He looked around and saw his wolf sitting by the door, whining softly, tilting its head toward the control panel.

_“Keith?”_

“Mh. Go ahead, boy,” Keith managed, struggling to keep his eyes open, and the wolf tapped the door control with its paw. The door slid open, and Lance stepped inside.

“Keith? Oh, man… what happened?”

He kneeled down next to the bed, and Keith tried to focus on him.

“I got hurt.”

“What? Since last night?”

“No. Before.”

Lance’s brows were drawn together in concern.

“Something happened when you went after Shiro?”

Keith nodded, and swallowed, and said, “He tried to kill me.” And then he started to cry, because he had no energy left to stop it from happening. The tears ran down his cheeks and onto his pillow while Lance stared back at him, looking stricken.

“Keith… I’m so sorry. I can’t even imagine…”

Lance glanced around helplessly, then went into the small bathroom at the far end of the room and returned a second later with a face cloth. He kneeled down again and held it out for Keith, and Keith tried to lift his hand to take it, but he found that he didn’t have the energy to complete the gesture.

“What’s wrong?” Lance asked. “Did the Olkari give you some medicine or something?”

Keith nodded a little, since he knew he’d never be able to explain the extent of it.

“So this is normal?”

“Yeah.” Keith sniffed, wishing he could wipe his face. The tears itched, and the scar on his cheek was starting to burn.

“Okay.”

Lance raised the cloth a little, hesitated, and then started dabbing gently at Keith’s face.

“I think I probably would’ve lost my mind, if that happened to me,” he said. “I think… well…” He looked away for a moment. “I think you might be the strongest person I know.”

Some part of Keith knew that this was nonsense – he knew for certain that he’d never been weaker in his life – but he didn’t have the will to argue. All he could do was stare.

“And, also,” Lance went on, meeting his eye again, “that _thing_ wasn’t Shiro.”

Keith gave another small nod. He wasn’t crying anymore, so Lance took the cloth away from his face and sat back on his knees.

“We were getting worried, since you missed breakfast. We tried calling into your room, and you didn’t answer, so… anyway. I’ll just tell the team you need to catch up on some sleep, okay?”

“Okay.”

“And, uh… I was going to read for a while… and I could use some company. So maybe I could stay here, if you don’t mind.”

_Yes. Please. Don’t go._

Keith nodded, closed his eyes, and slept.

 

* * *

 

Several hours later, his eyes flew open. He sat up in bed and found that Lance was sitting in a chair nearby, holding a tablet in his lap.

“Hey, Keith… are you okay?”

Keith blinked, confused. Hadn’t he just woken up in the observation room? He had seen Callos just a second ago, leaning over him…

_Oh…_

He swallowed. He stared back at Lance. He said,

“Shiro’s awake.”


	3. I Can't Pretend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! I just wanted to say a huge THANK YOU to those of you that continue to leave me amazing comments with each chapter. I look forward to them so much and they mean the world to me, and they really do motivate me to keep working hard on this story. Thank you so much for the amazing support!

“Toss me three of those cube things from the table over there.”

“Uh… Keith… I really think you should lay down, man-”

“No. I have to go see Shiro.”

“What are you talking about?”

Keith had pushed himself into a sitting position, but it was still an effort to hold himself up. It didn’t _hurt_ , exactly. It was like his body had become unimaginably heavy, and he didn’t have the strength to move it like he normally did.

“I told you. Shiro’s awake.”

“No, man. I haven’t heard from anyone, yet. You must’ve been dreaming, or-”

The digital display on the wall lit up, An electronic tone sounded, signaling an incoming message. The wolf snuffled at it from the foot of Keith’s bed.

“Can you answer that?” Keith asked Lance, trying to maneuver his legs onto the floor.

Lance grabbed the cubes and a bottled drink from the table and handed them to Keith, and then he tapped at the flashing panel. Four words appeared on the screen, large enough for Keith to read from across the small room:

DEFENDER SHIROGANE IS AWAKE.

 _“What?”_ Lance squeaked, rounding on Keith. “How did you know?”

Keith was still chewing, buying himself time to decide how much to share with Lance at this point. He swallowed, then took a sip of his drink, trying out several versions of the story in his head.

_Part of Shiro lives inside my mind._

_I know what he’s thinking._

_I can see through his eyes._

“I’m not sure,” he finally said, which was true enough. He was feeling more alert after eating and drinking, and it was getting easier to stay upright and move his limbs. He stood up from the bed and found that his legs could support his weight, but he still felt cloudy and unsteady.

“Can you help me get down the hall?”

“Dude, I’m _really_ not sure you should be walking around right now-”

Keith scowled at him so forcefully that he raised his hands in submission.

“Okay. Sure. Uh… here…”

Lance slid one arm around the middle of his back, and Keith did the same, allowing Lance to support some of his weight.

“Is this okay?” Lance asked him.

“Yeah. Thanks, Lance.”

“Ugh. Thank me once we get there in one piece. When did you get so heavy?” Lance hit the door control, and they stepped into the hallway together. “And you’re taller than me, now? Was that really necessary?”

Keith huffed a laugh. Lance’s indignance was feigned, and the banter was a welcome distraction. “You’re worried about my height? Like I have any control over that?”

“I bet you do. I bet you activated some secret Galra growth spurt just to spite me.”

“Seriously? Is everything always going to be a competition with you?”

“As long as you keep on figuring out how to be better than me all the time.”

Keith stopped moving, pulling Lance to a stop, too. That last remark had felt different than the others.

“You’re kidding, right?” Keith said.

“Yeah. Maybe.” Lance shrugged. “I mean, no, not really. You’ve always been a better pilot, and a better fighter, and now you’re all tall and hot and mysterious-”

“Hey,” Keith interrupted, alarmed at how quickly Lance was able to come up with such a detailed list. “I have _never_ thought that I was better than you. At _anything._ You’ve always been a way better teammate, and a much better friend. Even to me. Even when I didn’t deserve it.”

Lance wasn’t looking at him. He was staring at the floor, his arm still snug around the small of Keith’s back.

“You could be a good friend, too, you know,” he said. “If you tried. Like right now.”

Keith nodded. “Maybe you can help me.”

Lance looked at him. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

They started walking again.

“So… hot and mysterious, huh?”

“Yeah. It’s pretty annoying.”

Keith smiled, filing the comment away for further consideration.

They finally made it to the observation room and found that they were the last to arrive. Coran, Romelle, and Krolia were speaking with Luca near the healing pod, and Pidge, Hunk, and Allura were near the examination table, crowded around-

“Shiro.”

The name fell out of Keith’s mouth before he could stop himself. Shiro was smiling and sitting upright, and Keith wondered vaguely if the Olkari medicine or the guided meditation technique might be affecting his inhibitions, because he was having trouble resisting the urge to run full speed in his direction.

“Keith?” Allura had caught sight of him. “Goodness, are you all right?”

Shiro’s head snapped in his direction, and they locked eyes, and Keith nearly fell to the ground, because he was hit with a flurry of emotions so intense he could barely process them. He leaned heavily against Lance as he caught them in small blows – it was like a barrage of hailstones, from a storm – and he could tell that they weren’t his own, that they had forced themselves inside him somehow. He barely had time to recognize each one before the next one came: Rage. Frustration. Regret. Sadness.

Longing.

Affection.

Devotion.

“Keith?”

Shiro was right in front of him – How had that happened? – and Shiro’s hand was cradling his cheek, and his eyes were wide and shining.

_I’m so sorry, Keith. Please forgive me._

Keith swallowed, his nerve endings on fire, his limbs feeling heavier by the second. Fatigue had come to claim him, once again.

 _“I do,”_ he whispered. _“I forgive you.”_

Shiro raised his eyebrows in confusion.

Concern.

Suspicion.

Alarm.

Fear.

And then Keith buckled under the weight of whatever was happening to him, and he was unconscious before he hit the floor.

 

* * *

 

He opened his eyes a while later and found himself staring at the ceiling in his quarters. He felt an immediate rush of relief, but the emotion had that same odd, intrusive quality he’d experienced earlier.

It didn’t belong to him.

“Hey, Keith.”

He turned his head and found Shiro there, sitting in a chair next to the bed, wearing the same nondescript clothing the Olkari had left in each of their rooms. The right sleeve of his shirt was missing and hemmed appropriately, like the Olkari had prepared it especially for Shiro.

“Hey… what happened?” Keith asked.

“You lost consciousness. Luca said it was probably from exhaustion, since your injuries are still healing, but…” Shiro gestured vaguely. “You tell me. I thought I felt… I mean, when you dropped, it was like everything flickered for a second.”

Keith tried to sit up, and Shiro rested his left hand – his only hand – on the center of his back, guiding him into an upright position. Keith leaned into the pressure, dizzy with relief and affection at the physical contact, realizing how much it had hurt when he’d thought he might never feel Shiro’s hand on his body again-

_“Oh.”_

Shiro had pulled his hand away, quickly, like he’d been shocked.

Keith sighed.

“You can feel me, too?”

“Yeah. I… yeah. I felt that.”

“I thought it was only happening when we were on the astral plane together,” Keith said. “It seemed like we were… connected. More so than usual. But when you woke up, I _felt_ it. I saw what you saw, for a second. And when I went to see you, I think I could feel everything you were feeling.”

“And you knew what I was thinking, too?” Shiro asked. “You said that you forgave me, but… I never said anything about that. Not out loud.”

“Oh…” Keith frowned, trying to think back on the moment, but it was hazy.

“So… you’re not _trying_ to read my mind?”

“Of course I’m not,” Keith said, scowling even more intensely. “You really think I’d do that without your permission?”

Shiro shook his head. “No. I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair. It’s just… I don’t think it’s safe for us to be poking around in each other’s thoughts.”

“Because of what you told me in the black lion?”

“That’s just it. I didn’t choose to tell you. I didn’t mean for you to know about any of that.”

Keith took a long, slow breath, preparing himself to say the words he’d been waiting so long to say.

“Listen, Shiro… I know I made things complicated between us before you left for Kerberos. I knew it wasn’t fair, even then. But I couldn’t stand the idea that I might never get another chance to tell you how I felt. And when you said you cared about me, too – but like family, like we were brothers – I promised myself I’d treat you that way, if I ever saw you again. I promised myself I’d make things easy for you, because that’s what you deserved. I was fine with pretending, as long as I could still have you in my life.” He paused, shaking his head. “But I’m not fine with it, anymore. Not when we could die any day. Not after I already lost you once.”

He hesitated. He looked down at his lap, then squeezed his eyes shut, because he knew it was the only way he’d be able to say these words out loud.

“I can’t pretend that I don’t love you. Especially now that I know you love me, too.”

He opened his eyes. Shiro was shaking his head slowly.

“You have to. We both do.”

His temper flared.

“Why? Because you were my mentor, once upon a time? The Garrison is a world away, Shiro, if it even exists anymore. I’m not that kid you rescued. I’m not the cadet you left on Earth.”

Shiro met his eye. “I know. You’re the leader of Voltron. You’re the universe’s best hope against the Galra. You’re a soldier. And so am I.”

Keith stared in disbelief. This was not the response he’d been expecting. He _knew_ how Shiro felt. He had experienced it first-hand, inside the black lion. He was experiencing it right now.

Shiro loved him. _Wanted_ him. Wanted them to be together, as badly as Keith did.

“I don’t understand,” he finally said, trying to reconcile Shiro’s feelings with the words that were coming out of his mouth. “You think I can’t lead Voltron, if we’re together?”

“I know you can’t.” Shiro ran his hand through his silver-white fringe in frustration. “How many times have you been willing to sacrifice the mission to try to save me? How many times have you been willing to sacrifice your _life_? You can’t keep on putting yourself in harm’s way for my sake. The universe needs you. The mission is the only thing that matters. If you want to lead Voltron, you have to understand that.” He swallowed. “You have to be willing to let me go.”

Keith felt his lower lip start to shake. “I don’t know how.”

“Keith…” He _felt_ the sadness he heard in Shiro’s voice. “I never wanted this to happen. I never wanted to hurt you like this. But if you love me, you have to understand that this is who I am. You have to help me make this choice. As long as this war is going on, we have to put the mission first.”

“What about when the war is over? What will you choose, then?”

Shiro shook his head. “I can’t think about that.”

“You do think about it. You’re thinking about it right now.”

Shiro stood up and turned away from him.

“I can’t function like this,” he said, his voice shaking with the force of several emotions that Keith didn’t have to guess at, because he could feel them all. “Neither of us can. We have to figure out how to stop this from happening.”

“How?”

Shiro took several breaths, then faced him again, looking marginally more composed.

“Luca told me more about the technique you’re using to control your pain. I think you might be able to do the same thing with me. I think we might be able to control what’s happening between us.”

“So… what? You want me to _erase_ you, or something?”

“No. Of course not.” Shiro’s voice was gentle again. “It’ll be like the pain. It’ll still be there… but you’ll barely feel it.”

Keith stayed silent for a moment, trying to calm the flurry of emotions inside himself, squeezing his hands into fists in frustration, because some of those feelings belonged to Shiro. Because it felt like Shiro’s heart was beating inside his chest, and because Shiro was asking to take it back.

“Please let me feel it, first,” Keith said. “For real. Just once. Just for a minute.”

Shiro sighed. He approached the bed and sat down on the edge, and then he put his hand around the back of Keith’s head, and pressed his lips to his forehead.

And for the span of a breath, Keith was loved, perfectly, by the person he cared about most in the world.

And then it was over.

 _Keep your eyes closed,_ Shiro said, inside Keith’s mind. His hand was still cradling Keith’s head. Their foreheads were pressed together.

_Okay… what now?_

The shimmering twilight sprang to life around him, and Shiro’s image appeared in front of him, wearing the saddest smile he’d ever seen.

_I’m so proud of you, Keith. You’re exactly the person I always knew you could be._

_Because of you._

_No. Because you’re strong. Because you do what’s right, no matter how difficult it is._

Keith sighed.

_All right. Let’s get it over with._

Shiro nodded.

_I think you should try to focus on my image the same way you focused on the orbs. And then… you know… try to turn down the volume._

Keith took a breath. He focused on Shiro and urged the image to fade, and as it did, he felt Shiro’s emotions fading, too. And he summoned every ounce of strength he had left to finish the job, because losing Shiro’s love – feeling it fade away from his blood, and his bones, and his soul – was agony unlike anything he’d ever known before.

And somewhere, underneath it, was the quiet, faraway hum of Shiro’s agony, too.

He opened his eyes and found Shiro at the door, facing away from him, pressing his palm against the wall, like he needed the support to stand.

“I will _always_ care for you, Keith.”

Keith swallowed a sob, wiping at the tears that were streaming down his face.

“Shiro? What are we, now?”

Shiro didn’t look at him.

“We’re defenders of the universe.”

He tapped the door control and left.

 

* * *

 

Shiro was grateful to find the hallway empty. He didn’t know whether he’d be able to keep his expression neutral if he had to speak to anyone right now, and that was unacceptable. He had to focus. He had to regain control.

His quarters were on the far side of the observation room, all the way down the hall.

_Five doors down, on the left._

That was good. He had to get away from Keith.

_Four doors down, on the left._

He couldn’t have these thoughts in his head.

_Three doors down._

He couldn’t feel the way Keith was making him feel.

_Two doors down._

Like he’d give up the fight, if only he could hold Keith in his arms.

_One more door._

Like he’d rather lose the war than lose Keith.

He stepped into his quarters, scolding himself. Those things were one and the same. If they lost the war, he’d never be able to protect Keith. They’d never have a shot at leading normal lives. They’d never have a chance to be together.

So he had to keep Keith safe. He had to help him become the leader he was meant to be. It was so selfish, wanting him like this, when the rest of the world needed both of them more than ever. Why couldn’t he control himself? He had put the whole team in jeopardy, losing his grip on his emotions, letting Keith know how he really felt.

He sat down on his bed. He _was_ losing his grip. He was tired, and broken, and he was straining toward his greatest source of comfort. The one person he’d always been able to count on. The one person who had traversed the known universe to try to bring him home. The one person he loved, more than anyone or anything.

He closed his eyes, because the floodgates had finally opened. He thought about the way Keith’s hair had smelled when he’d kissed his forehead, his skin hot and smooth against his lips. He thought about the way Keith’s body felt when they held each other close, warm and solid and so _alive_. He thought about how Keith used to hate being touched, and the way Keith had folded himself into his arms when they’d been reunited on Earth.

He thought about how it might feel to hold him like that again. To feel heat spreading between them. To touch his skin. To kiss his mouth.

He hung his head. He held himself still. His face may as well have been carved out of stone.

The tears fell silently into his lap.

 

* * *

 

“Okay, everyone. I know you’re all tired, but I want to review our short-term priorities before too much more time goes by.”

Everyone had gathered around a long table in a meeting room close to their quarters. It was the first time they’d all been together since they’d landed on Olkarion, and the first time Shiro had addressed them as a group since he’d woken up. He was standing at the head of the table while the rest of them sat, with Keith on his right, blinking sleepily. Lance knew it must have been a massive effort for Keith to make it down the hall on his own. Why hadn’t Keith called him? He would’ve been happy to help out.

“We need to recharge the lions,” Pidge said. “I’ve been talking to Ryner about it, and I’m sure we can all do it, but it’s going to take a lot of energy and concentration. I think we should wait until we’ve all had a chance to rest.”

“Agreed,” Shiro said. “We’re all overdue for some shore leave. I want everyone to take two full days to rest before attempting anything physically or psychologically demanding.”

“I do think we should keep trying to get in touch with the other Blades,” Krolia said. “The Olkari briefed me on their latest intel, and we have some leads to follow up on, as soon as we’re ready.”

Shiro nodded. “That’s great news. Anything else?”

“Ehm, not to broach an uncomfortable subject,” Allura said, “but, Shiro, now that you’re back… who will be piloting the black lion?”

“Keith,” Shiro said without hesitation. “I’m happy to help the team however I can, but the black lion has made its choice. It’s clear that-”

“Nothing’s clear,” Keith said, cutting him off. Shiro looked at him, but Keith continued to stare down the table, and after a moment’s hesitation, Shiro took his seat.

“Every single one of you has what it takes to lead Voltron,” Keith went on. He was speaking at full volume, but Lance thought he looked less commanding than usual. Diminished, somehow. Or defeated. “It doesn’t have to be me, just because I’ve piloted the black lion. I’ve flown with you the least out of everyone. I’d understand if you’re skeptical about calling me your leader.”

“That’s not actually true,” Pidge said. “I’m sorry to say it, Shiro, but we probably went on more missions with the clone than we did with you. I mean, I know the clone kinda _was_ you, in a way, but still. Shiro’s the one we’ve flown with the least.”

“And what does it matter, anyway?” Lance added. “Keith saved us all in that last battle. He did things with the black lion that we didn’t think were possible. And he was a great leader. Much better than I would’ve been.”

“Or me,” Hunk said.

“Or me,” Pidge said.

“I think so, too,” Allura said. “It seems as though we’re in agreement. Keith will continue to pilot the black lion and lead the team in battle. Shiro will step in or share the leadership responsibilities as necessary. Yes?”

Everyone murmured their agreement, except for Keith.

“Keith?” Allura prodded. He gave a small nod.

“I’ll do what I can.”

“You’ll be great,” Shiro said, not looking at him. “I’ll send a task list to your computers if any of you want to try to make some progress with the items we’ve discussed, but your orders are to rest and recover. Keith and I need you all at a hundred per cent. Stay close to this building unless you check with one of us, first. Questions?”

“Uh, yeah,” Hunk said. “Can one of you talk to Ryner for me? The Olkari won’t let me anywhere near the kitchen. I mean, the food is fine, and everything, and I don’t want to insult them, but…”

“I’ll speak to her, Hunk,” Allura said.

“Thank you!”

“Okay,” Shiro said. “We’ll stay on a schedule for mealtimes. Otherwise, your time is your own. Try to enjoy it, if you can.”

He looked at Keith expectantly, and Keith said, “Thanks for working hard, everyone. I know I haven’t exactly been at my best since we landed. As soon as I’m healed up, I’ll make myself available for anything you need.”

“Rest, Keith,” Allura said. “You’ve done quite enough for all of us.”

He nodded at her. “Thank you.”

Shiro was the first one to stand up, and Lance watched as he moved down to the far end of the room to speak quietly with Allura and Coran, making note of the fact that Keith was still staring at a spot on the table instead of looking after him. This was odd. They usually watched each other closely.

He stood up, walked around to the other side of the table, and sat down in the empty seat next to Keith, who looked like he was about to fall asleep sitting up.

“Hey, man.”

Keith focused on him, though it looked like an effort.

“Lance. Hey. Listen… Pidge said you and Shiro brought me back to my quarters, after…”

“Oh. Yeah. Luca wanted to keep you in the observation room, but I figured you’d freak out if you woke up there. And Shiro said he’d stay with you, so…”

“Right. Yeah. Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks.”

“You want to make it up to me?”

Keith blinked at him. “Huh?”

“You owe me one, right?

“Uh… sure.”

“Okay. So go eat your gross-looking food cubes and then come to my room in a few minutes.”

Lance was sure Keith was going to turn him down, but he was pleasantly surprised.

“Should I bring anything else?”

“Uh. Maybe all those extra pillows from your bed.”

Keith raised his eyebrows.

“Dude. Don’t make it weird. You’ll see why.”

 

* * *

 

Lance answered Keith’s knock a few minutes later, and then led him and his wolf to a room on a different corridor. It was empty except for a single couch, and there was a display screen embedded in the wall, similar to the ones in their quarters, except ten times larger.

“Pidge figured out how to get our video games running in here,” Lance explained. “I thought you might want a break from… life in general?”

Keith cracked a tired smile.

“You’d be right about that.”

Lance booted up the console while Keith arranged the pillows on the couch, and then they sat down on opposite ends of it, controllers in hand. The wolf curled up on the floor by Keith’s feet.

“I don’t think we should start with the racing game,” Lance said. “I don’t really feel like yelling at you right now.”

Keith smiled again. “I don’t really feel like yelling at you, either.”

“Cool. This one is fun. We just have to solve a bunch of puzzles.”

Lance navigated them through the main menu and into the first level. He briefly explained the basic mechanics of the game, reminding himself to tread lightly. Keith was no stranger to simulations. It was well known that his flight sim skills were what had earned him a spot at the Garrison. Keith didn’t seem annoyed at his commentary, though. He listened quietly, following Lance’s lead until he’d picked up the controls.

“So,” Keith prodded, once they’d settled into a comfortable stride. “I figured you’d be off somewhere with Hunk and Pidge.”

“Nah. They’re probably busy inventing a supercomputer or something.”

“Huh?”

“Well, you know how they are. They’re always working on some project or some new invention. I don’t know what they’re up to half the time.”

“I thought you and Hunk were really close.”

“We are. He’s like my brother. But the two of them have this _thing_ going on.”

“What? Are they together?”

“No, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it happened eventually. I mean, I know they’re not all mushy and lovey dovey about it, but they really, like, _get_ each other. And it’s not like I’m upset at them, or anything,” Lance backpedaled, trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to convince Keith. “I love Hunk, and Pidge is the greatest, but… they’re, like, _perfect_ for each other, you know? I can’t compete with that.”

“So friendship is a competition for you, too?”

Lance frowned. He wasn’t used to Keith being such an active participant in conversation, and he didn’t love this particular piece of insight.

“Anyway,” Keith went on, “if Hunk really does care about Pidge like that, it doesn’t mean he cares about you any less.”

Lance shrugged. “I guess. Hang on. Move your guy over there.”

“Here?”

“No, to the left.”

“Oh yeah. I see it.” Keith completed the action that solved the puzzle. The next level appeared on the screen. “This is easier than I thought.”

“Yeah. The same thing happens when I play with Pidge. I think piloting the lions together makes it easier to do things like this.”

“Yeah, I think you’re right.”

They played through several more levels before Lance finally paused the game and stood up to stretch. Keith walked over to the pile of game cartridges on the floor and looked through them, and then held one up for Lance to see.

“Want to change it up?”

“Uh… sure. Maybe pick a different game, though.”

“Something wrong with this one?”

“No, it’s just… I have weird memories about it.”

“Really?”

Keith went back to his spot on the couch. He stifled a yawn, then looked at Lance expectantly, and Lance sat down, too, trying to figure out how much of the story he wanted to share.

“So… you remember that time we did a supply run on Traxis? You and the Blades helped us take out a Galra base so we could get supplies down to the planet.”

Keith nodded. “I remember.”

“There were Traxon pilots helping us, too. They were really cool. A few of them came back to the castle for some food and a tour, and one of them… their name was Raylah… they hung around and played that game with me and Pidge for a while. The one you picked out, I mean. And then Pidge fell asleep, and me and Raylah were talking, and… they kissed me.”

Keith’s eyes went wide. “Oh.” He looked away, and Lance started to suspect he’d crossed one of the invisible boundaries Keith usually kept around himself, but then Keith said, “What was it like?”

“Uh… it was… good.”

Keith looked at him again, his eyebrows raised. Lance sighed.

“It was hot, okay? Well, actually, no, it was kinda cold… Traxons run cool, I guess, but… you know what I mean.”

Keith nodded. “So you just… kissed?”

“Pretty much. It’s not like I had time to read up on Traxon anatomy, or anything. Although, you know how they have that pattern on the sides of their faces? Those reddish spots?”

“Yeah.”

“Well… they changed color when we were making out. It was really pretty...” Lance shook his head, trying not to get lost in the memory. “Anyway, we were leaving the next day, so… I dunno. I didn’t want to get attached. But it kinda happened anyway. Not because I really _knew_ them, or anything, it was just… nice.”

“It sounds nice.”

Lance put a hand on the back of his neck. “So… have you kissed anyone since we’ve been out here?”

“No. I haven’t.”

“Because of Shiro?”

Keith frowned and looked away, and Lance braced himself for a bout of hostility, but it didn’t come. Keith’s expression gradually softened, and he slumped against the couch, and said, “Yeah. Because of Shiro.”

He didn’t continue. Lance knew he was in dangerous territory, so he said, “Well, what about before we came out here? Have you _ever_ kissed anyone?”

Keith nodded. “Once. The night Shiro left for Kerberos.”

“Oh… what happened?”

“I snuck out to a bar to get drunk and ended up going home with some guy. I don’t think I even knew his name. I never saw him again.”

Lance was glad Keith wasn’t looking at him, because he knew he was making a face. He couldn’t help it. He could tell that this story was deeply significant, and profoundly sad.

“So you just… kissed?”

Keith shifted uncomfortably.

“I’m not sure. I mean, I barely remember.”

Lance nodded. “I’m really sorry, man.”

“Don’t be. It was a long time ago.”

“Yeah. But I meant… I’m sorry about Shiro, too. I mean, I have no idea what’s going on with you guys, but whatever it is… I’m sorry.”

Keith was quiet for a long moment. Then he said, “You pick the next game. I’ll watch for a while.”

 

* * *

 

“Keith? I think I need to go to bed soon. Do you want a turn?”

Keith didn’t answer, so Lance paused the game and turned around – he’d been stretched out on the floor, leaning back against one of the cushions – and he found Keith fast asleep on the opposite end of the couch. He deliberated for a moment, then shut down the console, went back to his quarters, and returned a minute later with two blankets and a handful of snacks, thinking that Keith might need to eat as soon as he woke up. He shut and locked the door behind him, left the snacks in plain view next to the console, and then approached the couch again. The wolf lifted its head and snuffled at him, and then laid down on the floor and closed its eyes again.

“Keith?” Lance confirmed that he was deeply asleep, and then draped one of the blankets over his lower half. He didn’t stir.

Lance arranged the extra pillows on the floor next to the couch and laid down on them, pulling the other blanket up to his chin, and then staring up at the ceiling. He knew he’d be stiff and sore in the morning, but what did it matter? They were on shore leave. He could sleep all day tomorrow, if he wanted to.

And he couldn’t leave Keith alone in here. He’d be confused if he woke up by himself in the unfamiliar room. Besides, his injuries were still healing, the process sapping so much of his energy that there were times when he could barely stand.

So Lance would stay, in case he needed something.

He turned toward the couch and risked a glance at Keith, making note of the way his long, dark hair had fallen across his face. Thinking about the story Keith had told him, and the way Shiro had touched Keith’s cheek in the observation room. Lance thought it was obvious that they had deep, unresolved feelings about each other, and when he’d left them alone in Keith’s quarters, he’d been sure they’d be spending the rest of the day (or the rest of the foreseeable future) finally working things out between them.

Obviously, that hadn’t happened. Something had to be deeply wrong between them, now. Why would Keith spend the night playing games with Lance, if he could’ve been with Shiro instead?

Lance gathered up an armful of blanket and held it tight against his chest. And even though he was exhausted, he lay awake for a long time, watching Keith curl and uncurl his fingers in his sleep.

 


	4. You Chose Me

Lance was the first thing Keith saw when he opened his eyes.

He was sleeping on his back on the floor with one arm thrown over his head, his hair in disarray, like he’d been tossing and turning.

Keith blinked a few times, trying to get his bearings. He wasn’t in his quarters… he was still on the couch in the game room. He must’ve fallen asleep while Lance was still playing.

He sat up slowly, wary of aggravating the pain in his ribs and shoulder… but there was none. He lifted his shirt and found that the bruising was completely gone. Callos had been right. It had only taken a day for his body to heal.

He sighed. He would gladly accept a lifetime of broken bones if he could stop feeling the way he felt right now.

He knew that Shiro’s intentions were noble. Shiro thought that turning Keith away would help them both focus on the mission. He thought Keith would be a better leader if he had fewer distractions, and less to lose. And he was sure Keith would continue to prioritize his well-being over all else, if they allowed themselves to get close to one another. He thought that Keith’s devotion to him would make both of them weak.

But Keith wasn’t so sure. Had he behaved recklessly in protecting Shiro’s life? Perhaps. He had been agonizing over his decision to leave the team behind to pursue Shiro through that wormhole. At the time, the threat to the rest of the team had seemed minimal, but in hindsight, he knew he had left his fellow paladins vulnerable.

But he couldn’t ignore everything that had happened as a result of that decision. He had experienced a metaphysical union with Shiro that had altered his understanding of time and space and life itself. His bond with Shiro had allowed him to connect more deeply with his lion and with his teammates than he’d ever thought possible, and he had returned to them with confidence, and with skill, and with the power of Shiro’s devotion bringing strength and decisiveness to every move he made. He had been at his best with Shiro by his side, and now he was alone, and he wasn’t sure he’d ever find the strength to pilot the black lion again.

He closed his eyes and felt for the lion’s consciousness, and found nothing but blackness and silence.

He opened his eyes and found Lance still sleeping soundly on the floor.

He was feeling more alert now, and the implication of this situation was starting to set in. Lance had stayed with him all night. He’d slept on the floor when he had a perfectly comfortable bed down the hall. Keith looked down and found a blanket draped around his own waist – a blanket that must have come from Lance’s room.

Lance really was a good friend. Keith barely knew how to take care of himself half the time, but Lance tried to take care of everyone around him. He checked on people when they were sick or hurt. He worried over anyone who separated from the group.

He brought people snacks when he thought they might be hungry.

He cared.

That was only a part of it, though. Keith thought back to their conversation from the previous night, and the way Lance had talked about the evolving friendship between Hunk and Pidge. He thought about the way Lance had described kissing someone – _anyway, we were leaving the next day_ – and the way Lance obviously still thought about that moment with fondness, and a little bit of longing. And then Keith realized something that he’d never fully understood before.

Lance was lonely.

And not just in the way that they all felt homesick and isolated sometimes. Lance was actively trying to connect. As an observer, Keith used to find Lance’s attempts at flirtation distastefully unsubtle, but he wondered now whether he had judged Lance too harshly. And anyway, it had been a long time since he’d heard Lance speak like that. These days, Lance talked about Allura with deep respect, bordering on reverence. Keith guessed that that capacity for depth of feeling had always been there, masked by youth and inexperience.

And he was certainly in no position to judge, where youth and inexperience were concerned.

He traced the length of Lance’s arm with his eyes, making note of the way it curved into an arc over his head, his hand curled, his index finger pointed, almost deliberately. Did Lance know how to dance? His combat style had a graceful quality that Keith had ascribed to the yoga routines Lance had added to their standard fighting drills, but Keith wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d taken ballet at some point, too. He was still staring when Lance opened his eyes, sat up, and turned towards him.

“Hey,” Lance yawned, looking tousled and still half asleep. “You look better.”

“I do?”

“Uh huh.”

Lance rolled away from him and made a grab for one of the snacks he’d left by the console. He tossed it to Keith.

“I tried those yesterday. They kinda taste like leaves, but, like, not in a bad way?”

Keith felt himself smiling a little. He unwrapped the snack – it was inside a wrapper that was somewhere between plastic and fabric – and he took a bite. It did taste like something _grown_. Floral and leafy. He liked it quite a bit.

Lance stood up from his nest of pillows, stretching a little, then grabbed a snack for himself and sat down next to Keith on the couch.

“I hope I didn’t freak you out,” he said. “I just felt weird about leaving you alone in here.”

Keith nodded. “I’m glad you didn’t.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

They were both quiet for a minute, chewing their snacks, and then Lance said, “I really think things are going to get better. With you and Shiro, I mean.”

Keith shook his head. “No. They’re not.”

“How do you know? He probably just needs some time-”

“No.” Keith glared at a spot on the floor, trying to direct his hostile tone away from Lance. “I do know. He told me himself.”

“He told you what?”

“That he won’t risk the mission, no matter how we feel. That we can’t be together. That we’re never going to be.” He sighed, sadness overtaking hostility, now. “So just forget it, okay?”

Lance didn’t answer. He leaned over and hugged Keith instead, and Keith briefly considered pushing him away before he sighed again, closed his eyes, and slid his arms around Lance’s back.

“Listen, man,” Lance said. “Just hear me out for a second.”

“Mh,” Keith grumbled against his shoulder.

“I don’t care how calm Shiro looks on the outside. He just came back from the dead. And speaking from experience… it’s kind of a lot to handle. Not to mention the baggage from all the damage clone-Shiro managed to do. He tried to kill every single one of us. Shiro remembers all of that, you know? He’s gotta be a wreck. Just give him some time.”

Keith didn’t answer, but he nodded a little. Lance let him go and stood up from the couch, stretching.

“Hey… where’s Kosmo?” he asked.

“Huh?”

“The wolf.”

Keith made a face.

“That’s not his name.”

“Says who?”

“Says the wolf. He hasn’t told me what he wants to be called, yet.”

Lance laughed. “Okay. Well, next time you two have a nice long chat, you can tell me what his name is. Until then, I’m calling him Kosmo. And I’m pretty sure I locked the door last night…”

“Lance.”

“What?”

Keith was smiling, shaking his head. “He can teleport.”

“Oh! Right!” Lance ran a hand through his hair, embarrassed. “Wow. Okay. Anyways… we have a while before we need to meet up with everyone for breakfast. I was going to go check out the simulation room Pidge was working on. She said she was going to get all of our training programs up and running, and I really need to stretch. Want to come?”

“Uh… I think I could use a shower. Maybe later?”

Lance nodded. “Sure. Do you need help getting back to your quarters?”

“No. I think I’m all healed up. You go ahead, I’ll tidy up in here.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. See you at breakfast, then.” Lance started for the door.

“Hey… Lance?”

Keith was facing away from him, folding one of the blankets.

“Yeah?”

“You didn’t have to sleep on the floor.”

There was a brief pause before Lance said, “Like I would’ve gone anywhere near that couch. I know for a fact you’d stab me right through the heart if I accidentally touched you in your sleep.”

Keith hesitated, still facing away from him, and then said, “No. I wouldn’t.”

 

* * *

 

Lance didn’t bother heading back to his quarters. He walked straight down the hall toward the huge, high-ceilinged space the Olkari had designated as their training room, lost in thought.

There was _no way_ Keith had been flirting with him. Keith didn’t flirt. He brooded and scowled. He snarked and argued. Sometimes he sulked. Sometimes he yelled.

But, Lance had discovered… sometimes he laughed. And teased. And encouraged.

Sometimes he cried. Sometimes he hugged back.

The more Lance thought about it, the more he realized how long it had been since Keith had snarked, or sulked, or yelled out of anger at one of his teammates. He wasn’t a completely different person, or anything… he was just a little less sharp, and a little more kind.

And Keith had said it himself. He wanted to learn how to be a better friend, and a better leader. He was making an effort. That was all. There was no reason for Lance to look any deeper than that.

Was there?

He arrived at the room he was looking for and found the door closed. He waved his wrist communicator in front of the panel on the outside wall – it was supposed to grant him access to any of the public spaces in the building – and the door slid open. He stepped inside.

He was confused, at first. Had the Olkari decided to use this room for something else? It was decorated with wall hangings in muted colors, and there were several stone fountains, including a large one on a raised platform at the back of the room. There were circular, squishy-looking cushions arranged on the floor… and someone was sitting on one of them, facing the opposite wall.

“Oh,” Lance said out loud, surprised. He wasn’t in the wrong place. Someone was already running a simulation.

And that person was Shiro.

“Lance?” Shiro had stood up and turned around, looking confused.

“Sorry!” Lance said, way too loudly, his voice bouncing off of the walls inside the huge space. He winced a little. “I didn’t know you were in here. I can come back later-”

“No, it’s fine. You should stay.” Shiro approached him, looking tired, but composed. “It’s my fault, anyway. I thought I locked the door, but I’m still getting used to the way all the controls work.”

Lance nodded. “Me too. It took me a while to get used to the controls in my quarters on our first day here.”

Actually, he had accidentally locked himself in his quarters for an hour until Pidge had come by to rescue him, but Shiro didn’t need to know that.

“Want to sit?” Shiro asked.

“Sure.”

They chose two cushions and sat down side by side, and Shiro said, “I’m really glad you came. I’ve been trying to find time to talk to everyone individually.”

“Oh… okay. Is everything all right?”

Shiro looked straight ahead at the fountain on the raised platform. The water was bubbling up from a circular disc and spilling down onto two larger tiers, making a soothing, splashing sound.

“I think it’s been a while since things were all right for any of us,” Shiro said. “And I need to take responsibility for my part in that. You’ve all made it clear that you don’t blame me for anything that happened after the clone took my place, but I need to apologize, anyway.”

Lance nodded, and Shiro looked at him.

“I’m sorry, Lance. I remember everything I said. Every poor decision I made. Every time I lost my temper. And even though I was being… controlled…” It seemed like an effort for him to say the word. “…Those were still my memories and my thoughts, being manipulated. Being… corrupted. I _know_ it wasn’t me, but I’ll always feel like it was. And I understand if you feel that way, too.”

Lance looked down at the floor. “I do, a little bit. I try not to, but I can’t help it. I’ve looked up to you for longer than I can remember, you know? And even though I could tell something wasn’t right… I still thought it was you, doing and saying all those things.” He risked a glance at Shiro’s face, and found him nodding, his expression apologetic.

“It’s okay. Your feelings are justified. And I’ll do whatever it takes to earn your trust back. I know the imposter underestimated you and brushed you aside, and I know it must have been awful, to not feel valued as a member of this team. But _I’ve_ never underestimated you for a second. I know exactly how essential you are to Voltron, and to every single one of us.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I know there’s a reason you were the one that heard me, when I was trapped inside the black lion.”

Lance nodded. “I’ve been wondering about that, actually. Why do you think you could reach me like that?”

“You know… I’ve thought about it a lot, and I think the simple answer is that I trust you, and your dedication to the team. I trust everyone else, too, but… it took some time. Pidge and Hunk both wanted to leave Voltron at one point. Keith ultimately did leave. Allura’s a relatively new paladin. And I respect each of them, and the choices they’ve had to make… but you’ve been devoted to the cause and to your teammates since day one. I’ve never forgotten that.”

Lance was staring at the fountain now, trying not to blink, hoping that the tears he could feel forming at the corners of his eyes wouldn’t spill onto his cheeks.

“Thank you,” he managed. He cleared his throat. “Uh… you could talk to Keith, though, too, right? When he was piloting the black lion?”

Shiro was quiet for a moment before he said, “Yes.”

“So… well… Shiro, can I say something?”

“Of course, you can.”

Lance stood up from the cushion and took a step toward the fountain, crossing his arms over his chest.

“When we were all standing on that moon… after Keith brought you back, and Allura saved you… I think that was the first time I actually believed that we might win this war. You know why?”

He heard Shiro stand up, too.

“Why?”

“Because I saw the way you and Keith looked at each other. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever met two stronger people in my life, and I really thought that the two of you, together, would be totally unstoppable.”

He turned around. Shiro’s hand had curled into a fist. He was staring at a spot on the floor.

“Look, I know it’s none of my business,” Lance went on. “I know I’m probably way out of line. But whatever it is that’s keeping you guys apart… well… you should think about it some more. Because we need you. Both of you. We need the person Keith was in that battle against Lotor. We need the person you were, when you helped him get back to us.”

Shiro was quiet for so long that Lance started to seriously consider sprinting out of the room, but eventually he looked up, and said, “You don’t miss much, do you?”

Lance let go of the breath he’d been holding. “You’re not mad? I know I was rambling, and I know it’s, like, _none_ of my business-”

“Lance.”

He forced his mouth shut.

“Mhm?”

“It’s okay. You’re a good friend. And I appreciate the concern, but I don’t want you to worry. Keith and I will be just fine.”

Lance decided not to push his luck. He’d said what he wanted to say, and despite Shiro’s reassurances, he knew he was an inch away from destabilizing things between them all over again. He didn’t want that. He wanted things to go back to the way they used to be.

He wanted Shiro back. The real Shiro.

“I’m sorry I barged in on you, and everything,” he said. “I was just going to stretch before breakfast.”

Shiro approached him, looking concerned.

“Everything okay?”

“Oh, yeah, it’s just… I slept on the floor last night.”

Shiro raised an eyebrow. “Something wrong with your bed?”

“Nah. I was playing video games with Keith and he fell asleep on the couch. It didn’t seem like a good idea to leave him there by himself.”

“Oh.” Shiro smiled, a few seconds too late. “Good thinking.” He glanced around the expanse of the room. “So… you have your own program for training?”

“Yeah. Pidge had all my stuff saved in her files, I guess.”

Shiro nodded. “Want to show me?”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I could use a stretch.”

Shiro showed Lance how to activate the control panel in the wall, and Lance selected the program he used to run on the Castle of Lions whenever he trained by himself. The wall hangings, cushions, and fountains disappeared immediately, and the room transformed in stages until it looked like they were in a huge studio lined with translucent curtains. The far end of the room wasn’t closed off by a wall, though; instead, it opened up directly onto a sandy beach, the ocean stretching impossibly far into the distance. A set of yoga mats of varying textures and sizes appeared close by, along with a range of other exercise equipment. Lance stared around the room, his mouth hanging open.

“Something wrong?” Shiro asked.

“No, it’s just… those fountains weren’t really here?”

Shiro smiled. “Amazing, right? The Olkari can program simulations to physically manifest all kinds of nonliving objects. It’s much more advanced than what we had on the castle.”

“Wow. The ocean looks so _real_. It’s like being home, again.”

“The image is based off of a real place?”

“Yeah. The beach near where I grew up.”

“It’s beautiful.” Shiro looked at him. “You can bring all of us to see it when we make it back to Earth.”

Lance sighed. Wishful thinking was nice, sometimes, but other times, it hurt too much to hope.

“So… have you done yoga before?” he asked, hoping to redirect the conversation.

“Not for a long time.”

“Okay. Grab a mat. I have a pose for you.”

They set up their mats toward the back of the room, as close to the simulated ocean as they could get without noticing any distortion in the image. Lance slipped easily into a pose that started out like a lunge, then turned his back foot and his torso in Shiro’s direction and spread his arms wide, so that they were parallel to the floor. He held the pose easily, trying not to blush as Shiro’s eyes traveled over his body, taking in the position of his arms and legs. Shiro tried to imitate his stance, wobbling a little in the absence of a crucial limb.

“Wow,” Shiro said. “I guess I need to work on my balance.”

“Do you think the Olkari will be able to help with your arm?”

“I hope so. I’m meeting with Callos and Ryner after breakfast.”

Lance examined Shiro’s position, once again trying to control the blush in his cheeks, because Shiro was beautiful.

It was something he’d acknowledged a long time ago – the fact that his feelings for Shiro oscillated between deferential respect, friendly affection, and a much less appropriate physical attraction – though, when he thought more carefully about it, the three attitudes were usually intertwined, leaving him with a general affinity for Shiro that was both confusing and embarrassing. He typically found all of it easy enough to ignore – they spent most of their time on missions, and Lance couldn’t even remember the last time he’d spent leisure time with Shiro, like this – but now that they were alone, Lance found every confusing thought he’d ever had about Shiro at the forefront of his mind.

“You should straighten your back leg, a little,” he said, trying to distract himself.

Shiro shifted his position, wobbling even more. “Like this?”

“Uh… not quite.”

Shiro tried to look down at the angle of his leg and almost lost his balance, and Lance skipped over to him and put a hand on his shoulder, steadying him.

“Okay,” Shiro laughed. “I _really_ need to work on my balance.”

“It’s okay,” Lance told him. “I should ask Pidge to add a mirror to this program. I know it’s hard to see what you’re doing.”

“Want to adjust my leg for me?”

Lance swallowed. Shiro wasn’t looking at him – he was looking down at his stance – but their faces were only a couple inches apart, and Shiro was holding onto his arm for support. This small amount of closeness was already enough to make his heart rate start to climb.

“Uh. Okay.”

He made sure Shiro was steady, then let him go, took a small step back, and got down on one knee.

“Okay, so, your front foot should look like this…” He flattened his hand and held it parallel to the ground, his fingertips pointing toward the ocean. “…And your back foot should look like this.” He held his other hand in a similar fashion, with his fingertips pointing toward the wall on their right.

“Oh! Okay…” Shiro adjusted the position of his back foot.

“Better. Now put your weight on your front leg for a sec.”

Shiro did, and Lance held his breath, and then put his hands on Shiro’s leg – one on the outside of his calf, one on the inside of his knee – and helped him straighten it appropriately. He pulled his hands away.

“’Kay. Put some weight back on it.”

He shifted toward Shiro’s front leg and held his forearm in a vertical position, like he was flexing.

“Your lower leg should be straight up and down, like this.”

He put his hands on Shiro’s knee and pressed, gently, until the angle had improved. He looked up and found Shiro looking down at him, his expression unreadable, and he was suddenly very aware of the fact that he could feel the warmth from Shiro’s body through the thin pants he was wearing. He pulled his hands away and stood up.

“How do I look?” Shiro asked, extending his single arm away from his chest again, like Lance had shown him.

“Like a warrior.”

Shiro raised his eyebrows, and Lance felt himself go red in the face.

“I just meant… that’s the name of the pose,” he said, trying to claw his way back from awkward humiliation.

“Oh!” Shiro’s cheeks were pink, too, but Lance couldn’t tell whether it was from embarrassment, or the effort of holding an awkward position. “Right! I think I knew that.”

“Looks like you’re balancing better,” Lance offered, hoping to steer the conversation back to less awkward territory.

“Still feels a little unsteady. Maybe we should schedule some time to practice. I’m guessing it shouldn’t take me ten minutes to get into one pose.”

“Aw, c’mon, Shiro. Couldn’t have been more than five.”

Shiro laughed.

“You’re a good teacher, Lance.”

“Really?”

Shiro slipped back into a neutral stance and took a step toward him, so they were standing about a foot apart.

“You know what I’ve noticed?”

“What?” Lance asked, feeling himself start to blush all over again.

“You seem really surprised whenever someone says something nice about you. Humility is a good quality to have, but I worry that you don’t actually know how great you are.”

Lance could feel that his mouth was hanging open, but he couldn’t figure out how to close it, again.

“I know you were still a cadet when we left Earth,” Shiro went on, “but that was a lifetime ago, now. You’re a paladin of Voltron. The universe conspired to bring you here.”

He put his hand on Lance’s shoulder, and Lance’s heart leapt into his throat.

“You were chosen, Lance. It’s okay to feel like you deserve it.”

 

* * *

 

Keith didn’t bother trying to focus on the conversations that were going on around him at breakfast. Lance made a valiant effort to include him - Pidge and Hunk were describing the method they’d used to integrate the data from the Castle of Lions with the Olkari’s simulation technology - and he appreciated the gesture, but he couldn’t have been less interested. He had tried several more times to make contact with the black lion’s consciousness from his quarters, and he’d been entirely unsuccessful, so he was eating quickly, planning to head down to the hangar where the lions were being stored as soon as he could politely excuse himself.

“Hey, man,” Lance said quietly, while Pidge and Hunk were absorbed in a separate conversation. “I think I need to get out of the building for a while. Want to come cause some trouble with me today?”

Keith shook his head, swallowing a bite of something that vaguely resembled scrambled eggs. “I can’t. I have some stuff I need to do.”

“Oh. Yeah. No problem,” Lance said, clearly disappointed. Keith was already on edge, and the dismissiveness he heard in his own voice made him feel even worse.

“I’m sorry, man,” he offered, trying to adjust his tone. “I’m just distracted. Some other time?”

Lance’s expression softened. “Sure thing. Whenever you want.” He pressed his elbow against Keith’s, briefly enough that Keith wondered whether it might have been accidental… but he didn’t think so. It had felt deliberate. Soft. Consoling.

He found himself wishing that Lance would do it again.

Lance was already looking away from him, though, smiling at something Hunk had just said, and Keith frowned, annoyed with himself. Why did he have to be rude, when Lance was just trying to be nice? Why did he always let his mood affect the people around him? Lance had spent all night sleeping on the floor for his sake. He didn’t deserve to be brushed aside like that. Keith tried to think of some way to get his attention, to try one more time to smooth things over between them.

He pressed his knee against Lance’s, under the table.

Lance looked at him, surprised, and Keith’s brain stalled out. What had he wanted to say? He couldn’t remember, because Lance’s eyes were on him, and he was so warm – Keith could tell, because they were sitting close together, because they were touching-

“Hey,” Lance said, softly enough that no one else would hear.

“Uh,” Keith said, because the connection between his brain and his mouth had shorted out. Lance smiled a little, his eyebrows raised, and Keith recovered. He nodded toward Lance’s plate and said, “Are you going to eat that?”

Lance stared at him for another second before he giggled and slid his plate in Keith’s direction.

“Eating twice as much, now that you’re twice as tall?”

Keith picked up a piece of bread from Lance’s plate and took a bite.

“I was tall, before.”

Lance pressed back against his knee.

“You really weren’t.”

“Was, too.”

“Nuh uh. I used to worry you’d drown in the deep end of the pool.”

Keith pressed back even harder.

“I’m serious,” Lance went on, blushing a little. “Could you even reach the controls in the red lion? Or did you just, like, shout orders at her?”

Keith laughed, and Lance laughed, too, and Keith tried to let go of the tension he’d been hanging onto, to enjoy the lightness and the contact between them.

But he couldn’t. He felt sadness tugging gently at the corners of his mind. Why? Lance was still smiling at him. He’d been enjoying himself, just a moment ago…

He looked across the table and found Shiro looking back at him. And despite all the sadness he still held inside himself, he knew that this particular ache didn’t belong to him.

This pain was Shiro’s.

“Lance?”

Keith and Lance both jumped, then focused on Allura, who had just walked up to them from behind.

“Hey, Allura,” Lance said, turning his body toward her, pulling away from Keith in the process. “What’s up?”

“May I speak with you for a moment?”

“Sure.”

He stood up so that they could move a few feet away from the table, and Keith made an effort to focus on finishing his (and Lance’s) breakfast, but he still caught bits and pieces of their conversation.

“…busy this evening?”

“No, I…”

“…garden on the roof of this building. I thought…”

“…for dinner?”

“Yes, I…”

Keith stopped eating and stood up from the table. He knew he should be happy for Lance – he must be going crazy with excitement, thinking that he might actually have a shot with Allura – but he couldn’t find happiness within himself, just then, and he found that he didn’t want to hear anymore of their conversation. He stacked Lance’s plate on top of his own and brought them to a receptacle near the exit. He didn’t bother saying goodbye to anyone; he just headed for the door without looking back.

He went to his quarters to change into his paladin armor, and then took an elevator down to the massive hangar where the lions were being stored. He approached the black lion, trying to call out to it with his mind, but it stayed still and silent, just like he’d thought it would. He knew that the lions’ power cores were severely depleted, but Pidge had been down here yesterday testing theories with Ryner, and she had had no problem waking her lion.

“…And we were just starting to be such good friends,” Keith murmured, approaching the lion’s paw and laying his hand on the cool, smooth surface. “Or was Shiro the one who convinced you to let me in?”

The lion didn’t answer, of course, so he sat down on the floor and leaned his back against its paw. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, trying to lower himself into the cosmic void where the lion’s consciousness lived.

Nothing happened. There was no rush of power, no augmented awareness, no shimmering twilight. Shiro wasn’t waiting for him.

Keith could feel him, though, way off in the distance, as if he’d met him in a dream that was already fading away. And because he had already lost so much – because he was disconnected from the lions, and from his teammates, and from all the reasons he’d ever cared about fighting in this war – he concentrated on that distant flicker of familiarity and begged it to take shape.

Shiro didn’t appear to him, but his presence intensified, and Keith was enveloped in a swell of emotion that threatened to carry him away.

Shiro was grieving.

He was also walking down a corridor, and carrying on a conversation, and thinking hard about… _something._ But underneath all of that was a current of loss and despair that Keith could feel with perfect clarity, because he was the one that Shiro grieved for.

“I didn’t _go_ anywhere!” he said aloud, startling himself as his voice echoed in the cavernous space.

 _I’m right here,_ he told Shiro, inside his mind. _You didn’t lose me. You turned me away. You chose this. And if you don’t change your mind, I’ll never forgive you._

He sighed. He forced Shiro’s grief away from himself and let it fade like a receding wave.

He opened his eyes, stood up from the floor, and walked away from the black lion.

 

* * *

 

He rode the elevator back up and made his way toward his quarters, trying to banish Shiro from his thoughts. That proved impossible, though, because when he rounded the last corner, he found Shiro leaning against the wall outside his door. He stopped short a few feet away, anger flaring in his chest. Shiro had said they couldn’t be together, so why couldn’t he just stay away?

“Keith… can we talk?”

Keith ground his teeth, tension locking his jaw shut. Shiro hadn’t left him with much of a choice. He nodded.

He walked to his door and waved his wrist communicator in front of the panel so they could step inside. He considered leaving the door open – he needed this conversation to be brief – but Shiro took the liberty of hitting the control panel, and the door slid shut. Keith seethed.

“Were you… talking to me?” Shiro asked. “A little while ago?”

Keith turned his back on him and started removing the upper portion of his armor. He ignored the question.

“Why are you here, Shiro?”

“Because I need to talk to you.”

“About what?”

“About my arm.”

Keith paused, then finished laying his chest piece on his bed and turned back to Shiro, momentarily distracted from his anger by the seriousness in his tone.

“What about it?”

Shiro was staring pointedly in another direction, averting his gaze even though Keith was still wearing his black undershirt. Keith rolled his eyes.

“I’m fully clothed, Shiro.”

Shiro met his gaze, frowning. “I wasn’t… I didn’t…” He groaned, frustrated. “Can we just sit down for a minute?”

Keith sat down on the edge of his bed. Shiro took the chair by the table across the room.

“I was just meeting with Ryner and a couple other engineers,” Shiro said. “They say they can help with my arm.”

“Okay… that’s good news, right?”

“Yeah, it is, but… they gave me a couple of options, and I’m honestly not sure what I should do.”

Keith blinked.

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because I value your opinion.”

Keith scowled, and Shiro sighed.

“Because you’re my best friend.”

Keith crossed his arms over his chest and stared at the floor.

“So… what are the options?”

“They told me they can build me a new arm the same way the Galra did. Similar material, similar functionality.”

“Or?”

“Or… they could rebuild my arm the way it originally was. My own, regular, biological arm. They can cure my disease, and make me how I was before.”

“Oh…” Keith met his eye. “Wow.”

Shiro nodded. “They said it could be painful and difficult. My brain has rewired itself to accommodate the capabilities of the Galra arm, and it would take time to adjust all over again. But… I would be _me_ , again.”

Keith shook his head. “You’ll be _you,_ regardless. But…”

Shiro raised his eyebrows. “But?”

Keith shrugged. “We both know who you are, Shiro. You’d take any advantage to win this war. I think you’re the only person alive who could singlehandedly take down the Galra empire.”

Shiro smiled a little.

“Singlehandedly?”

Keith huffed a laugh. “Yeah. Singlehandedly.”

They were quiet for a moment.

“The alternative is tempting, though,” Shiro eventually said. “I never thought I’d have the option to be fully human again. And now that you’re leading the team-”

“Shiro,” Keith said, interrupting.

“What?”

“I’ve lost my connection with the black lion.”

Shiro blinked. “What do you mean?”

“I mean… the lion won’t wake up for me. I can’t hear it anymore, and it’s just as well. We both know I’m not the right person for this job. It was always supposed to be you.”

“Keith, no-”

“You said it yourself,” Keith interrupted, angry again. “You can’t trust me to make the right choices. You don’t believe I can do whatever it takes to win the war. You keep trying to force me into this role-”

“No. The lion _chose_ you-”

“YOU chose me!” Keith practically yelled. “It’s always been _you_ , Shiro. You brought me to the Garrison. You trained me to be a pilot. You taught me how to care about something besides myself. You told me I had what it took to lead this team - to do something _important_ with my life - and when I finally started to believe you, you _left_ me.”

Shiro stared at the floor for a long time before he said, “I didn’t go anywhere. I’m right here.”

Keith hung his head. Shiro had heard him, after all.

“You know what I meant.”

Shiro nodded slowly. “I know. And… I need some time to think.” He stood up. “Try to get some rest, today. And please, don’t give up. Not yet.”

Keith shook his head.

“It’s over, Shiro. It’s done.”

“No. It’s not.”

Shiro tapped the door control and left.

Keith stayed where he was, squeezing his hands into fists around the blankets until his fingers ached. Then he stood up, put the upper half of his armor back on, and went back into the hallway. He turned left and knocked on the second door on the opposite wall, and Lance answered it a moment later.

“Keith! What’s-”

“Do you want to get the hell out of here for a while?”

Lance grinned.

“Just give me a minute to change.”


	5. Surprise

“Hey! Keith!”

“Yeah?”

“Check your map. See that split in the trail up ahead?”

“Yup.”

“Looks like a five-mile stretch before the paths converge again. So… you wanna race?”

Keith turned to look at Lance, grinning behind the faceplate of his helmet. They were gliding along a stretch of rocky terrain on identical speeders, leaving the city behind them.

“I’ll take left.”

They’d been traveling at a somewhat leisurely pace, getting used to the vehicles the Olkari had designated for them. They were both acclimating quickly – the speeders were similar to other hover-style ground craft they’d operated on Earth – so Lance was anxious to start pushing some limits, and he could tell Keith was looking to burn off some steam, too.

He heard Keith whistle right before he caught sight of the wolf in his periphery, sprinting and teleporting to try and match their speed. The animal howled and disappeared in a shimmer of dust and light, then reappeared up in the distance, darting back and forth across the trail.

“I think Kosmo’s a bit of a show off,” Lance said.

“Mm. Dunno where he gets it from.”

Lance laughed. “So what do I win, if I can beat you?”

It took Keith a few seconds to respond.

“What do you want?”

“I want to be pleasantly surprised.” Lance smiled to himself, hoping that Keith would read between the lines, thinking about the way Keith had pressed against him under the table at breakfast.

“Me, too,” Keith finally said. “If I win, I mean.”

“You got it.”

“You ready?”

“So ready. Heads up, Keith! I’m coming for you!”

They gunned their respective throttles and split off onto separate paths, and the race was on. They could only see each other intermittently – the paths ran through sections of raised, craggy earth and stands of trees – but they could track each other’s progress on their map displays, and they were still in a dead heat after a full minute had passed.

Keith was euphoric. The further he got from the city, the more he felt like he was leaving the trials of the past couple days behind him. He sat forward in his seat and leaned into a particularly challenging turn, feeling the tug of the inertia from his shoulders to his toes, feeling the ache in his core as he forced his body, and the speeder, to bend to his will. And when he saw Lance pull ahead after a downward slope out of the corner of his eye, he smiled. Lance could use a win.

“Nice flying, Blue.”

Lance’s laughter surrounded him through the mic in his helmet.

“Blue?”

“Yeah. I always called you, Hunk, and Pidge ‘Blue,’ ‘Yellow’ and ‘Green’ in my head, when we first started flying together.”

“I don’t think you ever told me that.”

“Mm. I guess not.”

Keith hit a straightaway while Lance navigated some turns, and he was gaining on Lance for the last twenty seconds of the race, but he could tell Lance was going to beat him. He could see the precision of Lance’s turns, even from his limited vantage point, and he grinned as their paths converged and adjusted his speed until they were side by side again.

“Too close to call?” Lance asked, sounding a little hesitant.

“No way! I wasn’t even close, man.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

The landscape opened up ahead of them, revealing a forest along the horizon, and an oval-shaped lake shimmering in the afternoon sun. They pulled to a stop close to the shore and left their helmets with their speeders, then stood shoulder-to-shoulder, taking in the view.

“Nice flying, Red,” Lance said, his eyes locked on the water. “I think your terrain was tougher, though.”

“No. You won, fair and square.” Keith put a hand on Lance’s back, fully aware of the significance of this race and this conversation. “You’re an incredible pilot.”

Lance met his gaze for a moment, then hugged him.

“Thanks, Keith.”

“It’s the truth, Lance.”

He nodded. His cheek was pressed against Keith’s neck.

“I’m sorry I’m all sweaty.”

“It’s okay. I was looking for an excuse to throw you in the lake.”

Lance grinned, then whispered, _“Try it.”_

He slipped out of Keith’s hold and sprinted a few feet away, pulling off the upper half of his armor, and Keith smirked, and started removing his own, too. They undressed down to the thin, earth-colored shorts the Olkari had stocked their rooms with, and then Keith sprinted after Lance while he darted along the shore.

“We’re an even match as pilots,” Keith called after him, “but I can _definitely_ catch you on foot!”

“Prove it, Red!” Lance called over his shoulder, leaping easily over a small rock formation. Keith cleared it with no problem, too, and then he sprinted full force after Lance and grabbed him around the waist, hoisting him bodily off of the ground.

“Ah! Keith!”

They laughed and struggled together while Keith fought to keep his hold on Lance’s midsection. Lance was long-limbed and strong, and heavier than he looked, but Keith managed to wrestle him into the shallows of the lake and toss him in. Lance came up spluttering and dove at Keith, tackling him into the water. They splashed and wrestled each other until they were both breathing hard and shaking with laughter, and then they floated on their backs into deeper water, staring up into the clear, blue sky, while Kosmo pranced along the shallows.

“Lance? Does the water taste sweet to you?”

“Uh huh. Pidge told me that the root systems of the plants here secrete sucrose into the soil and the groundwater.”

“This is _sugar_ water?”

“Yeah. It’s safe to drink, too.”

“Wow.” Keith sighed happily. “This planet is amazing. I wish we could stay here for a while.”

Lance felt a pang. He couldn’t relate, because he was desperate to get back to Earth as soon as possible. He had a home and a family, there, waiting for him.

Keith didn’t.

“Keith?”

“Yeah?”

“I feel like a jerk about something.”

Keith moved into a vertical position so he could see Lance’s face.

“What?”

Lance started treading water, too.

“You know how you told me about the nicknames? How you called me and Hunk and Pidge by our colors at first?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, we all knew each other before. Like, we were already good friends back at the Garrison, but we were total strangers to you. And I know you had Shiro, and everything, but he was, like, the _boss_ back then. I can’t imagine what that must have been like for you, and I feel like such a jerk that I never really thought about it before.” They were floating close together, so he brushed Keith’s arm with his fingertips. “I’m sorry. I should’ve made more of an effort.”

Keith was quiet for a moment. Then he said, “I was an asshole, back then. I know I made things so much harder than they needed to be. I always felt like I was letting you guys down.”

“Is that why you left to join up with the Blades?”

“It was one of the reasons. It took some of the pressure off. I was more expendable, there.”

Lance frowned. “You wanted to be expendable?”

“I just didn’t want to be the reason we lost the war. I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but Shiro’s got a little bit of a blind spot where I’m concerned. I wasn’t ready to lead Voltron when he asked me to. Not by a long shot.”

“None of us were. And you really stepped up, when we needed you to.”

“I guess. But then when Shiro came back… or, when we thought Shiro came back… and you and I were talking about what was going to happen, since we had an extra paladin…”

Lance stared at him, stricken.

“Please don’t tell me you left because of that conversation,” he said. “That was never what I wanted.”

Keith shook his head. “No. There were a lot of reasons why I felt like I needed to go. But you did make the decision easier. You were the better paladin, by far. You wanted it more, and you deserved it more. You were the one the team needed. I knew they’d be safe with you, while I was gone.”

Lance felt a blush rising in his cheeks. “I never knew you thought about any of that. I never knew you thought about me at all.”

“Well… I did. I do.”

Lance chewed the corner of his lower lip, trying to figure out how to proceed. All he wanted was to reach for Keith’s hand, or to hug him and hold him close, and he was starting to feel like that was what Keith wanted, too. He didn’t know for sure, though, and he couldn’t bear the thought of shattering whatever it was that was happening between them. So he decided to keep his hands to himself, because he wanted Keith to stay by his side.

“Keith?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you do a handstand?”

“Uh… I don’t know. I’ve never tried.”

“Want to learn?”

“Sure.”

 

* * *

 

They stayed in the water until the sun was low in the sky, and then they dried off on the grassy beach, trying to walk on their hands until their arms ached and their cheeks hurt from laughing. Lance held the record – he could walk on his hands for seven steps, while Keith only managed three – and Keith didn’t mind one bit.

“Should we head back soon?” Keith asked while they reclined on the shore, using their backpacks as pillows, watching the sky change as the sun slipped below the tree line.

“If you want. Uh… I did bring food, though, if you want to stay a little longer. We could skip dinner and eat here.”

Keith frowned. “Don’t you have a date with Allura?”

“Oh… no. I cancelled.”

“What? Why?”

Lance sat up and unzipped his backpack. He pulled out a bundle of that same plasticky-fabric material and handed it to Keith, and Keith sat up and started to unwrap it.

“I was really excited when she first asked me to hang out,” Lance said, unwrapping his own bundle and taking a bite of something soft and protein-based. “But then I was trying to think about what I would say to her, and I realized that I still feel… bad. I mean, I don’t blame her for what happened with Lotor, or anything. It’s just…” He shrugged. “She didn’t pick me, you know?”

Keith nodded. “I get it.”

“Anyway… thinking about being alone with her was making me feel worse, and then when I found out you wanted to hang out, I was really happy, and I didn’t really want to have to worry about getting back, so… here we are.”

Keith chewed and swallowed a bite of something round and floral-tasting.

“I’m sorry things still feel strange between you two,” he said. “But I’m really glad we came out here today.”

Lance smiled.

“Me too. So… you want to stay and watch the sun set?”

Keith nodded.

“Yeah. I do.”

 

* * *

 

They got back to the city about an hour after dark and rode the elevator up to their floor in silence, feeling sleepy and thoughtful after the most enjoyable day either of them had had in a long time. They lingered outside of Lance’s quarters, holding their helmets under their arms and fidgeting a little, trying to figure out what to say.

“Hey,” Lance finally said, running a hand nervously through his hair. “Want to play some video games before bed?”

“I think I’m too tired,” Keith said. “I’ll watch you, though.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Just let me shower first.”

Lance decided to shower, too, and they met up in the game room afterward and sat down on the couch together. Lance made no move to pick up a controller; he just held a pillow in his lap and stared down at it, trying to work up the nerve to say what he wanted to say.

“Keith?”

Keith was stifling a yawn.

“Uh huh?”

“I’m too tired to play, too. I just didn’t want to sleep by myself. I’ll take the floor again, if you’ll stay here on the couch.”

“Oh.” Keith blinked, trying to read Lance’s expression, but Lance was still staring down at his lap. “Okay. That sounds good.”

Lance looked up.

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

Lance got up and turned down the brightness on the wall display. Then he arranged the extra pillows on the floor, like he’d done the night before, and laid down facing Keith, holding an armful of blankets against his chest. Keith stretched out, too, trying to figure out what to say next, but Lance saved him the trouble.

“I had the best day, today,” he said.

“So did I.”

Lance nodded. “Good night, Keith.”

“Good night.”

He turned over and faced the opposite wall. He fidgeted for a moment, adjusting the blanket around his shoulders, and then lay still.

Keith stared at him, his heart rate starting to climb as he was hit with a sudden realization.

He didn’t want to sleep alone, either.

He stood up and pulled the single, long cushion off of the couch and put it on the floor next to Lance. He laid down on it and pulled his blanket over himself, curling onto his side, staring at the back of Lance’s head and reminding himself to breathe.

“Lance?”

Lance turned over to face him, his eyes reflecting the dim light from the wall display.

“Yeah?”

“I lost my connection with the black lion. I can’t hear it, anymore.”

Much to Keith’s surprise, Lance nodded.

“You’ve been through a lot. I’m sure it’ll take some time to get back into the right mindset. I wouldn’t worry, though. You’ll get there.”

“But what if I can’t? What if I’m not supposed to?”

“You can. You are.”

“How do you know?”

“Because you’re a total badass.”

Lance was smiling, and Keith smiled, too.

“And I’ll help you,” Lance added. “I’ll be right there with you.”

They watched each other for a moment, barely breathing, and then Keith said, “I didn’t forget about the race. You won, fair and square.”

He took a breath, feeling dizzy, his heart hammering away in his chest. He reached for Lance’s hand and held it.

 _“Surprise,”_ he whispered.

Lance’s eyes were wide in the darkness.

_“Keith… I know you love Shiro…”_

Keith nodded.

_“And I love that you love Shiro.”_

Keith stared.

_“You do?”_

_“Yeah. It was the first thing I ever liked about you. I’ve never seen anyone fight so hard for someone, and I would never try to get in the way of that.”_ He swallowed. _“But I wanted to hold your hand all day.”_

_“So why didn’t you?”_

_“Uh… I thought there was about a twenty per cent chance you’d punch me in the face.”_

They both laughed softly. Keith shook his head.

_“Maybe in some other reality. But not in this one.”_

Lance squeezed his hand.

_“You know, I’m starting to think you might be a sweetheart.”_

_“Really?”_ Keith looked thoughtful. _“I guess I’ve never tried to be, before.”_

Lance nodded. _“So… try.”_

_“Okay… how?”_

_“Tell me something sweet.”_

Keith thought for a moment, then said, _“I wish shore leave didn’t have to end. I wish we could do this all over again, tomorrow.”_

Lance smiled.

_“Me, too. But we still have all morning, before lunch. And it’s not like I’m going anywhere. We can do this part anytime you want.”_

Keith blinked sleepily, trying to focus on Lance’s face.

_“I don’t want to fall asleep. I’m just so tired.”_

_“It’s okay. Close your eyes. I’ll be here in the morning.”_

 

* * *

 

Keith woke up on his stomach with his hair in his face. He didn’t move to brush it away, though, because Lance was clinging to his right arm. Lance had moved closer overnight - Keith could feel that his left leg was pressing against him, over the blanket – and Lance was sharing his pillow, too. His face was only a couple inches away.

The comfort of waking up next to someone was so immense, Keith just watched him for a while, letting himself be overwhelmed by something other than fear, or frustration, or grief. Lance was lovely. He looked like he was on the verge of laughing, even when he was asleep. He was sweetness and sunlight. He was warm and safe.

He opened his eyes.

“Mm. You’re still here.” His voice was soft and scratchy.

“You thought I wouldn’t be?”

He held Keith’s arm a little tighter.

“I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about this, once you woke up.”

“Oh.” Keith swallowed. “I feel like… I wish I hadn’t fallen asleep last night.”

Lance let go of his arm and brushed a lock of hair away from Keith’s face.

“Want to practice being sweet, Red?”

Keith shifted onto his side – their noses were two inches away from touching – and he took hold of Lance’s hand, and kissed the back of it. Lance stared back at him, wide-eyed, and Keith smiled, and said, “Your turn.”

So Lance lifted his head, held his breath, and kissed him.

It was soft and brief. Lance kept reminding himself that Keith’s signals were anything but mixed, but he was still worried about how Keith would react to this new stage of closeness between them.

His concern was unnecessary, though. Keith blinked at him for a moment, his lips slightly parted, and then he put his hand on the back of Lance’s neck, pulled him closer, and kissed him.

It lasted, this time. They pulled at each other’s lips, slowly, exploring. Lance put his fingers in Keith’s hair. Keith put his hand on Lance’s waist. They opened their eyes – just to check in, just to make sure – and then Lance shifted closer, pressing the length of his body against Keith, slowly kissing his face, then his jaw, then his mouth.

It was so sweet that Keith sighed – gentleness was not a thing that he was used to – so he slid his arm around Lance’s waist and kissed him back, trying to be sweet, too. He kissed both of Lance’s cheeks, then his chin, then his neck. And then Lance kissed his mouth with a little more confidence – a little more pressure – so he flattened his hand against Lance’s lower back, and Lance made a sound that set a flicker of fire in his chest. He let it smolder for a moment, letting the urgency build between them, and then he opened his mouth and tasted Lance’s tongue for the first time-

Their wrist communicators started beeping.

Lance sat up a little, his fingers still resting on Keith’s neck.

“That’s breakfast.”

Keith threw his blanket off, hooked one leg over Lance’s hip, and rolled on top of him, pinning him against the nest of pillows.

“Fuck breakfast.”

Lance exhaled.

_“Holy shit.”_

Keith cracked a smile at Lance’s wide-eyed expression, and they both laughed a little, though Keith didn’t loosen his hold on Lance’s wrist and shoulder.

“Should I let you up?”

“Definitely not.”

Keith kissed him again – _hard_ – squeezing his wrist, feeling for his tongue, thinking about the other places their bodies were pressed together-

“Keith.”

Lance was pressing gently on his chest.

“Huh?”

“We have to stop.”

Keith rolled off of him and sat back on his knees.

“What’s wrong?”

Lance sat up.

“Nothing. That was… wow.” He shook his head, trying to clear it. “I don’t have time for a cold shower before breakfast, though.”

“Oh.” Keith blinked. His brain was finally catching up with the rest of his body. _“Oh.”_ He shifted to a cross-legged position. He was hard, too.

“Keith…” Lance sat up on his knees, moving closer to him. “I didn’t actually want to stop.”

“Okay. Um. Me neither.”

“It’s just… I think we should be careful,” Lance explained. “We already missed dinner last night, and I know Hunk and Pidge are going to ask where we’ve been. I just don’t want any of this to affect the rest of the team until we figure out what we’re doing.”

Keith nodded. “You’re right. I just got carried away.”

Lance leaned over, put his fingertips on Keith’s cheek, and kissed him, lightly.

“You can get as carried away as you want to,” he said. “Just… later. Okay?”

“Okay,” Keith breathed, his mind racing ahead to everything Lance might be implying.

“Uh… we should probably clean up a little, huh?”

“Right. Yes.”

They set about tidying up, clearing away any evidence that they had spent the night sleeping next to each other. The implication made Keith uneasy – he didn’t like the idea of sneaking around – but Lance was right. They were part of a team, and they needed time to talk and sort things out, so they could make sure that whatever was happening between them wouldn’t affect the people they cared about in any negative way. Shiro certainly wouldn’t approve if-

_Shiro._

Keith glanced at Lance, who was arranging the pillows back on the couch, his hair still tousled, the neckline of his shirt sitting slightly too far to one side. He was lovely, and sweet, and Keith was trying to imagine a version of this scenario where he wouldn’t end up getting hurt. Lance knew how he felt about Shiro – he had even made a point of telling Keith how much he appreciated their closeness – but it had to be more complicated than that. Didn’t it?

Except… Lance had feelings for someone else, too. As far as Keith knew, he was still in love with Allura. So maybe they were on equal footing. Maybe they needed each other like this, right now. Maybe Keith could have this with Lance, without causing him pain.

“Lance?”

“Uh huh?” Lance set a folded blanket down on the back of the couch and walked over to him. “What’s up?”

Keith couldn’t figure out how to say what he wanted to say, so he put his hands on Lance’s waist and kissed him instead. He’d intended to keep it brief, but Lance had other plans. He put both hands in Keith’s hair and pressed against him, kissing him in slow, exaggerated movements, until they were both dizzy and swaying a little.

They hugged each other close.

 _“You feel good,”_ Lance whispered. Keith closed his eyes.

_“You feel so good, Blue.”_

_“After breakfast?”_

_“Yeah.”_

Lance nodded, then pressed a kiss into his hair and let him go.


	6. I Want This, With You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! Just wanted to let you know that I've changed the rating of this story to Explicit based on where it's headed. If you're really enjoying the story but would prefer not to see explicit content, let me know so I can try to add warnings or figure out how to break chapters strategically. Otherwise I'll just continue to let it unfold. Enjoy!

Lance had been sure they weren’t running too far behind schedule, but everyone else was already eating breakfast when he and Keith arrived at the dining room. It hadn’t occurred to them to try to show up separately, and they found everyone staring at them as they walked through the doorway and moved toward the back of the room, muttering greetings as they went. Krolia put a hand on Keith’s arm as he passed, and he stopped to talk to her, grateful for an excuse to ignore Shiro’s gaze.

“You look well,” she said quietly. “How are you feeling?”

She had asked to spend time together yesterday afternoon, and he’d asked to postpone, letting her know that he’d already left the city for the day.

“All healed up,” he said, smiling at her. “How are you?”

“Happy to see you with a smile on your face. I’m anxious to learn what’s happened to Kolivan and the rest of the Blades, though. I know we should wait until the lions are at full power before we go search for them, but it’s difficult to be patient.”

“Patience yields focus,” Keith said, without thinking. He frowned a little. “I mean, it’ll be better in the long run if we make sure we’re all ready for a fight.”

She nodded. “You should get something to eat.”

“Okay. I’ll be back.”

He walked to the table at the back of the room and picked up a plate. Lance was still there, stacking a second layer of food onto his own. They exchanged an embarrassed glance, still recovering from their incredibly indelicate entrance.

“Starving, huh?” Keith nodded at Lance’s plate.

Lance shrugged. “You ate half my breakfast yesterday. I figured I should be more prepared this time around.”

Keith felt himself start to blush. This type of thoughtfulness was typical of Lance, but the gesture felt different, now. Personal.

“Uh. Which things do you like best?” Keith asked him.

Lance pointed to a tray of green, circular snacks that vaguely resembled dumplings.

“Those. The filling inside is sweet.”

“Okay. I’ll grab extra.”

Lance smiled. “Thanks.”

He went back to the table and sat down next to Hunk, leaving Keith an empty seat between himself and Krolia. Keith piled food onto his own plate and then joined him, locking eyes with Allura for a moment as she watched him from across the table. Her expression was serious at first, but she recovered quickly, smiling at him before she looked away. Shiro was sitting next to her, chewing and nodding while Coran spoke to him.

Keith looked around the table, thinking that everyone was starting to look much more alert and energetic after a full day and a half of rest… except for Shiro. Keith could see the exhaustion around his eyes, and as soon as he saw the physical signs, he realized that he could feel it, too. Shiro was weary, and sad, and… hopeful? Keith tried to concentrate on the flicker of feeling, and it solidified a bit. Then Shiro looked at him and smiled, and it felt genuine. Consoling. Optimistic.

Shiro was starting to heal, too.

Keith smiled and nodded back, then took a bite of one of the circular snacks Lance had pointed out to him. It _was_ sweet.

“…were you guys doing this morning?” Hunk was asking him and Lance. “We came by your rooms.”

Keith looked over at him, his mind spinning. Why hadn’t he bothered to think up an excuse?

“We were both up early,” Lance said easily. “Played some video games. Lost track of time.”

Keith stared at him, impressed. It was a believable excuse, and very close to the actual truth. There was a difference between discretion and deception, and he was relieved that Lance seemed to care about this distinction, too. He didn’t think he wanted to hear Lance tell outright lies about the time they spent together.

“You play video games?” Pidge asked Keith from further down the table.

“Uh. Lance is teaching me.”

“Cool!” she said. “We should all play together later!”

He smiled. “Sure.”

“Probably not that racing game, though,” Hunk said. “I feel like you guys would kill each other. Like, in real life. Not just in the game. Am I explaining this well? I feel like I’m not explaining this well. Just stick with the puzzle game.”

Lance giggled, and Keith said, “We actually raced yesterday. In real life. On the Olkari speeders.”

“No way!” Pidge said.

“…And you’re both alive?” Hunk asked, confused. “Was it a tie?”

“Lance won. He was incredible.”

Lance, Hunk, and Pidge all stared at Keith, while a grin spread slowly over Lance’s face.

“Thanks, man.” He turned back to Hunk and Pidge. “I won by, like, an inch. It was practically a tie.”

He looped his ankle around Keith’s, under the table. Keith stopped eating for a minute and stared down at his plate, enjoying the sensation, putting pressure on Lance’s foot with his own, feeling dizzier every time Lance responded.

They stayed like that for the rest of the meal.

 

* * *

 

Keith cleared his plate in a partial daze, listening to Lance laughing with Hunk and Pidge, thinking about what might be about to happen between them. Would they go back to the game room? Or Lance’s quarters? Or his? Would they try to talk and sort things out? Or would they skip that step for now, and move right along to-

“Keith? Hang back for a second?”

He stopped on his way out the door. Shiro was calling for him.

“Uh… one minute,” he called over his shoulder. He stepped into the hall and found Lance waiting for him.

“Lance…”

“Don’t worry about it, man.” Lance was smiling. “Catch up with Shiro. I’ll see you later on, right?”

“But… we…”

Lance shook his head, glancing around them. “I’m not going anywhere. Find me when you’re ready.”

He turned and jogged down the corridor to catch up with Hunk and Pidge. Keith sighed and went back into the dining room, which was empty now, except for Shiro. He had been scrolling on a tablet, but he stopped as Keith approached and sat down next to him.

“Hey,” he said. “Thanks for staying.”

“Of course. Everything okay?”

“Yeah. I was just wondering… would you train with me this morning?”

Keith blinked at him, processing the request.

“It’s not an order, or anything,” Shiro said. “I’d just like to spend some time with you.”

“Oh.” Keith went on staring for another moment, taken aback. Shiro didn’t usually talk to him like this. Keith had known for a long time that he valued their closeness, but in the past, he had always made excuses for the extra training sessions and the late-night conversations, the long walks and the quiet meals. This might have been the most honest thing Shiro had ever admitted to him, by choice.

The realization hit Keith like a punch. He knew how Shiro felt about him, not because Shiro had chosen to say the words out loud, but because their thoughts and feeling had become inexplicably linked. Shiro had been controlled and manipulated by the Galra for so long that a good portion of his recent memories – his recent _thoughts_ – barely even belonged to him. And he’d been rendered powerless even further when Keith had stepped into his mind and glimpsed his secrets before he’d been ready to share them. For Keith, naming their feelings out loud had been a relief, and a step toward the closeness he so desperately wanted. For Shiro, it had been a violation.

“Keith? You okay?”

“Yeah.” Keith nodded. “I’d like to spend some time with you, too.”

 

* * *

 

“What happened to Keith?” Pidge asked Lance as they headed down the hall to the game room.

Lance shrugged. “Seems like Shiro needs him for something.”

“Aw, man!” she pouted. “I really wanted to see him play that puzzle game.”

“Maybe tonight?” Hunk asked.

“Uh… maybe,” Lance said, hoping that Keith would rather spend some time alone later on, and keeping that very private thought to himself.

Pidge and Hunk piled onto the couch while Lance booted up the game system, and then he handed out controllers, grabbed a couple pillows, and stretched out on his stomach on the floor.

“Where did all these extra pillows come from?” Hunk asked.

“No idea,” Lance mumbled, smiling to himself.

They played a few cooperative rounds together before Pidge excused herself to go meet with Ryner, and then Lance switched over to the racing game and took her place on the couch. He and Hunk fired up the first level and played in silence for a few minutes before Hunk finally spoke.

“So… you and Keith were up early playing video games together?”

“Uh huh.”

“And you spent all day together yesterday?”

“Yup.”

“And you didn’t get back until after dark?”

Lance glanced at him. “How did you know that?”

“I was looking for you, man. I came to your room a bunch of times.”

“You could’ve sent me a message.”

Hunk shrugged. “I guess I figured you were busy.”

“Weren’t you? Busy with Pidge, I mean?”

“Well, yeah, but… I still wanted to hang out with you.”

Lance smiled and kicked at him from across the couch. “I miss you too, buddy.”

“Anyway, stop changing the subject. What’s up with you and Keith?”

“What do you mean?”

Hunk paused the game.

“Don’t even start with me, dude. I watched you fall all over yourself over Allura for the last year. I know what you’re like when you have a crush. Does he know?”

Lance sighed. There was no way around it. Hunk would see right through any attempts at outright deception, and he didn’t want to lie to him, anyway.

“I’m pretty sure the crush is mutual.”

Hunk’s eyes went wide.

“Shut up.”

“I’m serious.”

“But… no way. Isn’t Keith, like, head over heels for Shiro?”

“Yup.”

“So… I mean, do _not_ take this the wrong way, but… what makes you think he likes you?”

“Well, we were making out in here before breakfast.”

“SHUT UP.”

Lance giggled.

“Wait… is that why there are a million pillows in here? Did you guys _sleep_ in here together?”

“Uh… yeah, that also happened, but we didn’t make out until this morning.”

“But… I don’t get it. Why are you messing around with Keith if he’s in love with Shiro?”

“It feels good. I like him. I think he likes me, too.”

“But… aren’t you worried about what will happen if they get together?”

Lance sighed. “Hunk, how many times do you think you’ve jerked off since we’ve been out here?”

“Uh, like, a million?”

“Same. And I’m getting pretty sick of doing it by myself. I’m not in the mood to overthink this.”

“Okay. Fair point.”

“Plus… I don’t know. He’s different than I thought. He can actually be really sweet.”

Hunk nodded. “He does seem a little less prickly since he came back.”

“Yeah. He is. I just want to see where things go. So don’t say anything to anyone, okay? We’re just hanging out.”

“I won’t. Just be careful, man. Keith and Shiro have this whole ‘star-crossed lovers’ thing going on. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“I know. I’ll be careful. I promise.”

 

* * *

 

Keith and Shiro went back to their separate quarters to change into their armor, and then Keith found Shiro in the training room, tapping at the control panel in the wall.

“Are you sure you want to start training before the Olkari fix your arm?” he asked, trying to adjust to the way Shiro looked in his paladin armor without his dominant limb.

Shiro smiled. “You know… I became so dependent on the Galra prosthetic, I think I started to see it as a permanent solution. I didn’t train as hard as I should’ve with my left side. I focused on all the advantages the prosthetic gave me, instead of challenging myself to improve without it.” He shrugged. “Nothing is permanent. I think I need to stop waiting for myself to be ‘fixed.’”

Keith nodded. “You’re right. I shouldn’t have said it like that.”

“It’s okay. I know what you meant. Just trying to look out for me, right?”

“Always.”

Shiro nodded toward the control panel.

“Capture the flag?”

“No. I need to watch you fight, first. Your strategy will be different than it used to be. We’ll need to learn how to balance each other again.”

Shiro nodded. He tapped at the panel several more times, and a faceless, sentry-style opponent appeared in the center of the floor, wielding a sword and shield.

“We can use all the same voice commands we used to,” he said. “Call out if you have suggestions. This might be a little rough, at first. The Olkari modified my left gauntlet to manifest a sword and shield, but I haven’t tried to fight with it yet.”

He put on his helmet, then walked to the center of the floor, switching on his shield. He settled into a defensive stance and called, “Begin program!”

Keith watched closely as the sentry came to life and advanced on Shiro. He’d been smart to start with his shield, but as soon as he’d deflected the sentry’s first attack, he switched to his sword and swung high at the sentry’s shoulder. The sentry blocked the blow and hit Shiro hard on his unprotected side, and Shiro grunted and fell to one knee. He managed to reactivate his shield right before the sentry swung at his face, but the force of the deflected blow knocked him flat on his back.

“Freeze program!” Keith called.

The sentry froze, towering over Shiro, and Keith walked over to him, extended his hand, and pulled him to his feet.

“Okay,” Shiro said, rolling his neck. “More than a little rough, I guess. What did you notice?”

“I think you should lower your stance,” Keith told him. “Your right side will be vulnerable if you go too high. I wouldn’t even bother with a sword unless you’ve disarmed the opponent, or you have a significant height advantage, or both. Attack with your shield instead.”

Shiro nodded slowly. “Okay. I’ll try again.”

Keith left the floor, biting his tongue. Shiro had already sustained a serious blow to the body, and Keith had felt the pain of it, himself. But mentioning it would only strain things between them. Shiro had to re-learn his limits, and Keith had to let him.

“Reset program!” Shiro called. He slipped into a defensive stance again, low to the ground, as Keith had suggested. “Begin program!”

The sentry advanced again, and Shiro responded with an entirely different strategy. He kicked at one of the sentry’s legs while protecting his head with his shield, and the sentry staggered backward, losing attack momentum. Shiro took the opportunity to kick forward with his other leg, knocking the sword out of the sentry’s hand. He slipped into a crouch position, then exploded upward, using the strength of his legs to bash his shield into the sentry’s chin. The collision made a dull, metallic _crunch_ , and the sentry’s head snapped backward before it collapsed onto the floor in a heap.

Keith smiled. _That’s my Shiro._

Shiro walked over to him, pulling off his helmet, wearing a broad grin.

“Better?”

“Perfect.”

Shiro ran a hand through his hair. His cheeks were red, and Keith suddenly suspected that it wasn’t just from the physical exertion.

“Keith… I can still feel you, sometimes. I’m not trying to read your mind, or anything, but it’s like… sometimes I can _feel_ what you’re thinking. I felt like you were fighting with me, just now.”

Keith nodded. “I was. I felt it, too.”

“And, yesterday…” Shiro went on. “You spent the day with Lance, right?”

“Yes,” Keith said, wondering what Shiro might have sensed from him while he and Lance had been together.

“That’s good.” Shiro sounded like he meant it. “I think he cares about you a lot.”

“Yeah. I care about him, too.”

They were both quiet for a moment, thinking.

“So… want to help me through a few more scenarios?” Shiro asked, the redness in his cheeks slowly fading to a faint blush. Keith nodded.

“Sure.”

Shiro fought against the same sentry twice more, trying different strategies each time. He only took one more blow to the body, ultimately winning that match with a riskier technique. Then he modified the program and faced off against an enemy with a more typical assault-style energy weapon. He practiced dodging the attacks with his shield, capitalizing on his speed and agility to get close enough to the opponent to land blows below its waist. He lost his balance more than once, but Keith was right there with him.

_Shift your weight. Plant your foot. Roll to the left. Shield. Strike. Now._

When Shiro took a hit, Keith felt the ache of it. When he struck an opponent down, Keith experienced the triumph, too. When he gritted his teeth and growled with the effort of fending off a blow, Keith felt it vibrate inside his chest, and he had to close his eyes, because Shiro’s body in motion was suddenly hard for him to look at. He focused on his breathing, cursing himself for his careless choice of words, because there wasn’t a single thing about Shiro that needed to be fixed. Shiro was grace and strength, personified. Shiro’s perfection was washing over him like the tide, and he was caught in the undertow.

“Freeze program,” Shiro said.

Keith kept his eyes squeezed shut, exhaling as Shiro’s body relaxed. He was leaning against the wall, trying to hold himself still, bracing himself for Shiro’s reaction to his lapse in control.

_“Keith.”_

He knew Shiro was right in front of him. He was still working up the nerve to open his eyes when he felt Shiro’s forehead press against his own.

_“Shiro… I can’t help it.”_

_“I know.”_

_“Please don’t go.”_

_“I won’t.”_

He found Shiro’s hand and held it, and they stood like that for a handful of breaths before Shiro pulled away. Keith opened his eyes.

“I’ve handled all of this badly,” Shiro said. “I’m sorry.”

Keith nodded. “I am, too. I thought you’d be just as relieved as I was, to have everything out in the open. I didn’t understand how much control I was taking away from you. It wasn’t fair.”

Shiro frowned, staring at the floor. “That’s still no excuse for how I’ve acted. You deserve to know how much you mean to me. You deserve to understand how grateful I am that you brought me back.” He met Keith’s eye. “I don’t even know who I am, without you.”

“Then why do you keep pushing me away?”

“Because I’ve been here before. I know where this leads. You deserve to be with someone who can make you a priority. You deserve to be with someone who’ll stay with you, always.”

“Shiro.” Keith spread his hands, pleading. “I’m not Adam-”

“I _know_ that-”

“No! You don’t!” Keith heard the frustration in his voice bouncing off the walls in the huge, empty space. He fought to control his tone. “You’re making all these assumptions about what it would be like without even talking to me! I would never force you to choose, the way he did. I would never try to hold you back. I’m not going to be sitting on the sidelines, worrying about you while you go out and save the universe. I’m going to be fighting by your side.”

Shiro shook his head. “I’ll end up leaving you, just like I left him. I’ll end up having to go somewhere that you can’t follow. You can’t protect me and lead the rest of the team.”

“Watch me.” Keith was glaring back at him, eyes blazing. “I’ll do it whether you want to be with me or not. No one can stop me. Not even you.”

Shiro’s eyes went wide, and Keith caught the flicker of realization as it passed through his mind. He was listening. He was starting to understand.

“Shiro,” he said, his voice much gentler, now. “I don’t think I’m supposed to choose between being strong and being happy. I don’t think that’s the way for me to win this war. I think I need to have something worth fighting for.”

“Keith…” Shiro brushed a lock of hair away from Keith’s forehead. “You’re the most important person in my life. Can’t that be enough?”

“No.” He smiled a little. “But it’s a start.”

Shiro sighed. “Just… train with me? For real?”

Keith nodded. They’d finally made some progress. There was no point pushing the issue, now.

Shiro went to the panel on the wall and loaded a new program. A series of barriers and obstacles appeared in the room, along with a variety of sentry opponents blocking their path to a flag pole in the very center. They both put their helmets on and walked to the edge of the floor, shoulder-to-shoulder.

“Stay close to me,” Keith said.

Shiro grinned.

“Begin program!”

 

* * *

 

Keith knocked on Lance’s door before he went back to his quarters to shower, but he was almost relieved when he didn’t answer. He needed some time to think. He sent Lance a text message on a private chat:

_Sorry I got held up. See you at lunch?_

…and then he went to his quarters to wash up. He stood under the warm water in the shower for a long time, leaning against the wall, trying to figure out what he wanted to do.

For the better part of his life, he had defined himself by his devotion to Shiro. He had fallen in love with him gradually, and learned to channel that depth of feeling into their friendship and his own personal growth. He had cared for Adam, too – had been happy to see Shiro accept love into his life – and he had ignored his own deepening affections, never considering that his feelings might someday be reciprocated… until the day Adam had broken Shiro’s heart. He had realized, then, that Shiro was meant for something greater. That he belonged to the stars. And all he had wanted in the world was to belong out there with him.

So why had he spent last night sleeping next to Lance?

The simple answer was that he’d wanted to. Lance made him feel something he’d never felt before, and he didn’t have the will or the desire to ignore it. He’d only ever experienced affection as a solitary activity, and Lance was the first person who’d ever made him feel _connected_. He was kind, and funny, and straightforward. He said what he meant. It was such a relief, not having to guess at what someone was thinking all the time, especially after the agony of Shiro’s unexpected rejection.

Keith frowned, scolding himself. That wasn’t fair. He wasn’t spending time with Lance because things had gotten complicated with Shiro. He would’ve been spending time with Lance, regardless. He would’ve liked Lance, regardless.

He liked Lance. So much.

And he loved Shiro, as much as he’d ever loved anyone or anything.

The feelings weren’t remotely similar to one another, but he found that he was having no difficulty holding both of them inside himself at the same time. He suspected that Lance was going through something similar, given his affection for Allura. But how would Shiro feel, if he knew?

Did it matter? He and Shiro weren’t together, and Shiro had explicitly discouraged him from speculating about any possible future between the two of them. It was a future that Keith still hoped for, except now, when he pictured it, he caught glimpses of Lance there, too.

Lance’s laughter in the dark. Lance’s fingers in his hair. Lance’s breath on his neck.

Lance’s tongue in his mouth.

He braced his arm against the wall of the shower, pressed his forehead against it, and started to touch himself. He wondered how often Lance did this, alone in his room. He wondered if Lance had ever done this while thinking about him. He wondered what would happened if Lance were here, right now.

He thought about the way Lance had pressed his body against him, picturing it over and over until he was dizzy, then shuddering, then spent.

 

* * *

 

Keith finished the rest of his shower in a hurry, then dressed in a pair of shorts and sat down on his bed with a tablet to check his messages.

 

Lance: Sorry I missed you. I swung by your room.

 

He typed a quick response:

 

Keith: I just got out of the shower

 

And he got one back a few seconds later:

 

Lance: Sorry I missed that, too

Keith: So am I

Lance: Are you flirting with me, Red?

Keith: You started it

Lance: You kiss like you know what you’re doing

Keith: I really don’t, but I’m glad it seems like it

Lance: You didn’t need to own up to that. You could’ve pretended to be all cool and in control.

Keith: I don’t want to pretend to be anything

Lance: Will you sit with me at lunch?

Keith: Yes

 

A few second ticked by before Lance answered again.

 

Lance: How did things go with Shiro?

Keith: Hard to explain. I want to tell you about it later.

Lance: Later sounds good. See you in a few?

Keith: See you, Blue

 

He set the tablet aside, then dressed in his underclothes and armor. Shore leave would officially end as soon as lunch was over, and the paladins were heading directly to the hangar to test out Pidge and Ryner’s proposed method for recharging the lions’ power cores.

Keith was apprehensive. He hadn’t attempted to connect with the black lion since the previous morning, and he doubted that he would be successful today, either. Shiro had been his touchstone; his link to the metaphysical, and to the concept of leadership. He wasn’t sure what Shiro was to him now, but he knew that if he wanted to pilot the black lion anytime soon, he would have to find another way. He had considered warning the rest of the team about his difficulties ahead of time, but he couldn’t figure out how to do that without explaining at least part of what was going on between himself and Shiro, and that didn’t feel like an option. So he would give it a try, and hope for a miracle.

Lunch passed without incident. Everyone was in high spirits, and several of their Olkari hosts joined them this time, lightening the mood even further. Keith and Shiro thanked Luca and Callos again for their help and healing, and then Keith sat between Lance and Krolia again, listening to the buzz of conversation happening around him, focusing on each one of his teammates in turn. His initial heartbreak over Shiro had shaken his confidence in everything, including and especially his place on this team, but that uncertainty was fading, now. He cared deeply for every one of these people. Despite his many mistakes, he had earned their trust and respect, and he felt a renewed commitment to protect them. To see them through this conflict, however he was able. He was starting to feel connected again, and it wasn’t hard to guess why.

He pressed against Lance’s foot, which was wrapped around his ankle, and Lance continued the conversation he was having with Hunk, but he reached for Keith’s hand under the table and squeezed.

They went down to the hangar as soon as everyone was finished eating, riding the elevators in groups, and then Ryner and Pidge distributed a set of Olkari crowns to the rest of the paladins.

“I believe that these crowns will help you establish a bond with our planet,” Ryner explained. “We manipulate our environment by tapping into the shared energy of our natural world - the same energy that you call quintessence. I believe that you can pull the energy you need to recharge your lions directly from our planet, but you must strike a bargain to do so.”

“Right,” Pidge said. “The Olkari don’t just _steal_ quintessence from the environment. It’s a negotiation. They replace everything they take, and then some, by building things that contribute to the health of the planet overall. So if we’re going to borrow quintessence to recharge the lions, we need to give something in return. I propose that we use the green lion to repair some of the lingering damage to the forests surrounding the city. Except, we can’t do that until we recharge the green lion’s core, so… we need to convince the planet to help us, first.”

“’Convince’ the planet?” Keith asked. “How?”

“Using these crowns, and our link to the astral plane through the lions,” Pidge said. “I’ve tried it on my own, and I know I’m on the right track, but I can’t do it by myself. I need all of you to help me send the message.”

Keith nodded. “Really great work, Pidge. And, Ryner… thank you for giving us access to your planet. You’ve already done so much for us. We’ll do what we can for you, in return.”

“I have no doubt, Defender,” Ryner said. “Shall we begin?”

They all put their crowns on, taking a moment to adjust them for each other – Lance adjusted Keith’s, carefully tucking the rounded edges between the strands of his hair, smiling and avoiding eye contact – and then the paladins approached their lions. The red, blue, yellow, and green lions came to life immediately, opening their mouths to let their paladins inside, but the black lion stayed still and silent, just like Keith had expected it to. He closed his eyes and stood facing it while everyone else went to their cockpits, trying to focus, trying to reach out.

“Keith?” Pidge called over the group channel after a couple of minutes had passed. “Everything okay?”

Keith sighed. Nothing was happening. It was time to own up.

“Guys… I’ve been having some trouble connecting with the black lion.”

“Really?” Pidge asked. “Did something happen?”

“Pidge,” Lance scolded over the comm. “A lot has happened. Just give him a minute.”

 _Thanks, Blue_ , Keith thought.

“Right,” Pidge said. “Sorry, Keith. Take your time.”

“Yeah,” Hunk said. “No worries, man.”

“Let us know if we can help you, Keith,” Allura added.

 “Thanks, everyone. I’m going to climb in manually and try from the cockpit.”

Keith climbed up to the manual hatch and let himself inside, and then he settled into the pilot’s chair and closed his eyes again.

 _I’m sorry,_ he thought, searching for the state of meditative calm that had once been so familiar to him. _I know I’m not Shiro. I know I haven’t always been the leader you’ve wanted me to be. But they need me. I have to do this, for them._

He reached into the blackness with his mind… and felt nothing reaching back for him. He sighed.

“Keith?”

It was Lance, on a private channel.

“Hey, Blue.”

“I’m coming over there, okay?”

“Okay.”

Keith killed the team voice channel and stood up from his chair, rolling his shoulders, and then he went to stand by the hatch, waiting for Lance. The door swung open a minute later, and he helped Lance through it.

“Hey, man,” Lance said, smiling. “Sit down with me for a sec.”

They sat down together on one of the ledges at the back of the cockpit. Lance adjusted Keith’s crown again, moving slowly this time, running a few strands of Keith’s hair between his thumb and forefinger.

“Tell me what happened with Shiro,” he said. Keith frowned.

“Right now?”

“Yeah. Right now. I think this thing with Shiro has your wires crossed, or something. Let me try to help.”

Keith nodded, trying to organize his thoughts.

“So… remember how I could tell when Shiro woke up? Before anyone else told us?”

“Yeah.”

“Ever since he came to me here, in the black lion, we’ve been able to sense each other’s thoughts and feelings. That’s how I found out that he…” He paused, unsure whether this was really his secret to tell, but feeling like the weight of it was too much to carry on his own.

“He’s in love with you, right?”

Keith met his eye, cool relief spreading outward from his chest.

“Is it obvious?”

Lance nodded.

“Okay. Well, he wasn’t planning on telling me. He didn’t want me to know he felt like that. And he didn’t like the idea of us being so connected, so he asked me to use this strategy I learned from the Olkari to minimize the effect. We can still feel each other, now, but it’s… quiet.”

“Keith…” Lance took hold of his arm, lightly. “I’m so sorry. That must have been so painful.”

Keith thought Lance looked like he was close to tears. He tried to think of a way to reassure him, but the words wouldn’t come.

“It was,” he admitted.

“So you think that might be why you’re having such a hard time with the black lion?” Lance asked, once he’d recovered.

“Yeah. I think my connection to Shiro and my connection to Voltron were the same, in a lot of ways. And now it’s just… gone.”

Lance nodded. “Can I tell you something?”

“Yeah. Anything.”

He kept his hold on Keith’s arm, staring at the floor, and said, “I have confusing feelings for Shiro, sometimes. Maybe a little bit of a crush, or something. I wasn’t sure how to tell you, before, but I feel like you should know.”

Keith pressed a little closer to him.

“It’s okay. I’m glad you told me.”

Lance nodded. “Anyway, as much as I look up to him… as much as I know he’s such an incredible person… he’s not always right about everything, you know?”

Keith smiled. “No. He’s not.”

Lance met his eye.

“Right? So, I know he’s all _patience yields focus_ about the lions, and everything, but I don’t think being a paladin is all about, like, discipline, or concentration. It’s about being connected to something. And not just the other pilots. When I need to find a stronger connection with Voltron, I think about my family. You know… all the people I’m trying to save. Maybe you just need to tell the lion why you want to be a pilot.”

Keith shook his head. “I’m not even sure if I know, anymore.”

“Okay… well, why do you want to win the war? I mean _you_ , specifically. What do you want out of all this?”

Keith looked at him. Lance was still holding onto his arm, and he leaned into the pressure.

“Right now, all I want is to feel how I felt this morning. With you.”

“Oh.” Lance tightened his grip, pulling him closer. “Keith… I just need to tell you…” He paused, because Keith’s fingertips were resting along his jaw.

“What?” Keith said, softly. “Tell me.”

Lance swallowed. “I just need you to know… if you get the chance to be with Shiro, I want that, for you. For both of you. But until then…” His eyelids fluttered, because Keith’s thumb was brushing against his lower lip. “Until then, I want this, with you.”

Keith nodded. “I want this, too.”

They kissed each other, and it was slow and sweet. Keith held Lance’s face with both hands, and Lance slid his arms around Keith’s back, and they pressed against each other, constrained by the rigidity of their armor-

 _“Take this off,”_ Lance whispered, pulling up on Keith’s chest piece, and Keith helped him unfasten it and then pulled it over his head. He let it fall to the floor, then pulled off Lance’s, too. They hugged each other, their breathing shallow, and Keith pressed his face against Lance’s neck, and let himself live inside the warmth that was spreading between them.

_“Keith.”_

_“Mm?”_

_“I’m going to call the red lion and try to pull you with me. Okay?”_

_“Okay.”_

Lance closed his eyes and let himself drift toward the red lion’s consciousness. It was easy, at this point – barely an effort – and he pressed his lips against the back of Keith’s neck as he felt his mind expanding outward. He felt Keith sighing, and he slipped his hands under his shirt, pressing his palms against his lower back, kissing his neck one more time, and then again, and again-

 _“Lance, I- ahh- I think I can feel you-_ ”

_“I can feel you, too. Just a little further…”_

He kissed his way to the front of Keith’s throat, then up to his cheek, then over to his mouth, and he kissed his lips, sweetly, until he felt the sensation mirrored back to him – he felt what Keith was feeling – and it was a swirling combination of excitement, and desire…

And deep, desperate affection.

Lance opened his eyes. Keith stared back at him, and they took a single breath in unison before Keith tackled Lance to the floor, kissing his mouth with all the force of what he felt, pinning Lance’s wrists to the ground with both hands-

“Mh- Keith-” His mouth was on Lance’s neck, now. He felt Lance’s breath as he spoke. “Why- _ah_ \- why do you pilot? Why do you fight?”

“Because I want to matter,” Keith said, without thinking. He had one hand inside Lance’s shirt. “Because I want to be part of something.” He kissed Lance’s throat, forcing his chin upward with the bridge of his nose. “Because I don’t want to be alone.”

“You’re not.”

Keith stopped and stared down at him, breathing hard. Lance shook his head, his cheeks burning, his eyes blazing.

“You’re not alone. I’m right here.”

The words found their mark, because Keith heard them inside his mind as Lance said them aloud, and he kissed Lance’s mouth, and felt that they were true. He felt a surge of power – he felt Lance’s fingertips pressing against his skin – and the black lion finally roared to life.

He sat up, still straddling Lance’s hips, and he took in the glow of the lights in the cockpit while Lance’s laughter bounced off the walls.

“Keith! We did it!”

He looked down at Lance and found his own expression mirrored on his smiling face. He stood up, pulled Lance to his feet, and hugged him.

_“Lance… I don’t know what to say.”_

Lance sighed against his shoulder.

_“Say something sweet.”_

Keith held him even tighter.

_“You’re amazing.”_

Lance pressed a kiss into his hair.

_“You matter, to me, Keith.”_

Keith closed his eyes.

_“I don’t want you to go.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! If you've made it this far in the story and haven't said hello yet, please consider dropping me a line to let me know what you think! I'd love to hear from you! Thanks for reading!


	7. Is That an Order?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: This chapter is explicit!

“It’ll be okay,” Lance told Keith, still holding him close. “I can come back as soon as we’re done.”

Keith made a small space between them so he could look at Lance’s face.

“What are we going to tell everyone?”

Lance shrugged, smiling. “I’ll think of something. Help me get dressed?”

Keith had his hands around Lance’s waist.

“I’d really rather not.”

Lance giggled. He took a step back and picked his chest piece up from the floor, wincing a little as he straightened up again. Keith frowned.

“You okay?”

“Fine, just… tackle me onto something soft next time, ‘kay?”

“Shit… I hurt you?”

He helped Lance pull the chest piece over his head.

“No. I’m fine. It was… I liked it.”

Keith looked at him, searching for the connection they’d experienced a few moments ago, but it was fading fast, and it was just as well. They didn’t need to experience each other’s every thought and feeling to stay close. He smoothed at Lance’s tousled hair, straightened his crown, and kissed his cheek, lightly.

“Thank you. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”

“You would’ve figured it out. I doubt it would’ve been this much fun, though.”

Keith smiled. “Definitely not.”

“To be continued?”

“Yes.”

He sighed as Lance left through the rear door. Would they always be interrupted, like this? Would their responsibilities always get in the way? Would they ever get the chance to just _be_ together?

He shook his head to clear it, then pulled his own armor back on, settled into the pilot’s chair, and reactivated the team voice channel.

“Sorry for the delay, everyone. I’m good over here.”

He lowered the lion’s head to let Lance out of the primary exit and watched him walk back toward the red lion.

“What happened?” Pidge asked. “Are you guys okay?”

“We’re good!” Lance said cheerily. “Just took us a little while to work it out.”

“Should we run diagnostics on the black lion?” Allura asked.

“Yes, but I think it can wait,” Keith said. “Everything feels fine to me, now.”

“We made a little progress while you were busy,” Pidge said. “We were able to start generating power using the planet’s quintessence supply, but just barely. I’m going to reinitiate the process so you two can join in. Let me know when you’re ready, Lance.”

“Ready!”

Keith smiled to himself, catching a distant flicker of Lance’s euphoria, a flash of bronze and gold at the corners of his mind.

“Okay,” Pidge said. “Focus on my voice.” She cleared her throat, and then recited: “We, the Paladins of Voltron, humbly request your assistance in restoring balance to the universe, and we pledge to restore balance to this planet in return. We will use your gifts to protect the autonomy of all sentient beings. We will bring light to the darkest corners of the world. We ask for the opportunity to earn your trust.”

Keith felt a warm glow where the crown was resting on his head – a welcome distraction from the heat and pressure below his belt – and he felt himself being pulled toward the group consciousness that allowed the five of them to form Voltron and fight as a single unit. Then the glow started to spread – down to his chest, outward to his fingertips – until he could actually see a faint halo of light around his body. He held his gloved hand in front of his face and watched it shimmer – tiny particles of light, shifting and scattering.

“Uh… is anyone else kinda… glowing?” Hunk said over the comm.

“Yup! It’s working!” Pidge said. “We’re acting as conduits for the energy. We’re not efficient conductors, though… I think we’ll only be able to charge the cores to about seventy-five percent. But it’s a great start!”

“It’s so lovely!” Allura said.

One of Keith’s display panels lit up. He tapped at it and found a private text message from Lance.

 

Lance: It’s beautiful. I wish you were in here with me.

Keith: Think we could shine together?

Lance: I think we should definitely try.

 

“Keith?” Pidge called over the comm. “I don’t know why, but it looks like your energy flow is moving more slowly than everyone else’s.”

“Okay… what should I do?”

“Uh… concentrate? I really have no idea. Your power core is charging, though. It might just take a little longer than the rest of ours.”

“Understood.”

Keith closed his eyes and tried to let himself sink into the warm glow, but his thoughts kept drifting back to Lance.

Lance’s hands pressing against his skin.

Lance’s mouth on the back of his neck.

Lance’s body, warm and solid underneath him-

“Guys?” Keith’s eyes snapped open. It was Hunk, over the group channel. “Is anyone else – uhhh – yawning a lot?”

As soon as he said it, Keith noticed the fatigue. He stifled a yawn as everyone else acknowledged over the comm.

“We have to be careful,” Pidge said, sounding drowsy, now. “The lions are drawing power from our bodies to complete the energy transfer. Take your crowns off right away if you start to get dizzy. We might have to do this in more than one shift.”

“We should sound off to make sure no one loses consciousness,” Keith said. “I’ll start us off, every two minutes. Keith, here.”

“Lance, here.”

“Allura, here.”

“Pidge, here.”

“Hunk, here.”

Keith blinked, trying to rouse himself. He typed another message to Lance.

 

Keith: Come right back over here when everyone else leaves.

Lance: Is that an order?

Keith: Yes.

Lance: Roger that, team leader.

 

He yawned again.

 

Keith: Also, bring snacks.

Lance: How do you know I have snacks?

Keith: You always have snacks.

Lance. You’re right. I do have snacks.

 

They sounded off twice more, but on the third pass, Hunk didn’t answer.

“Hunk?” Keith prodded over the comm. “Hunk. Come in. Right away.”

“Oh…” Hunk’s voice was quiet. “Sorry, guys. I think I fell asleep for a sec.”

“Okay, I’m calling it,” Keith said, taking off his crown and setting it down on his console. “Crowns off. Get some food and some rest. We can check in at dinner and decide when to try again. Great work, everyone. Great plan, as usual, Pidge.”

“Thanks, Keith!”

“I’m going to hang back here,” he added, watching Hunk, Pidge, and Allura exit their lions. “I’ll run the diagnostics on the black lion and catch up with you all later.”

“I’ll help!” Lance said.

“Shouldn’t you both rest, as well?” Allura said. Keith could see her down on the floor, gazing toward the red lion.

“We won’t be long,” Keith told her.

“All right. Be careful, please. Both of you.”

Keith watched the three paladins join Ryner, Shiro, Krolia, Coran, and Romelle at the monitoring station nearby, and then the group of them set off across the hangar toward the elevators. Shiro glanced up at the black lion for a moment before he followed everyone else, but he was too far away for Keith to decipher his expression.

Keith maneuvered the lion’s head downward so that Lance could come in whenever he wanted, and then stood up slowly to stretch his shoulders, feeling fatigued and almost uncomfortably warm. The glow of the energy transfer had been pleasant and comforting, but he didn’t want to fall asleep right now, so he removed the top half of his armor again and retrieved two bottles of water from the lion’s cargo hold. He finished one in a single gulp, then deliberated for a moment before he removed the lower half of his armor, too, undressing down to his black, long-sleeved undershirt and pants. He was sipping from the second water bottle when Lance came through the rear door, looking sleepy as well.

Keith held out the bottle for him, and Lance accepted it gratefully, finishing a third of it in one gulp. He handed Keith a packaged snack in return – a protein-based supplement from a previous supply run – and they sat down on the ledge together to finish their snacks and drinks in silence.

Keith was feeling much more alert by the time he’d finished eating, partly because of the protein and the water, and partly because Lance’s leg was pressed against his own. He felt his heart rate starting to climb in anticipation. How far would this go, now that they had time to explore? Lance had said he could get as carried away as he wanted to when they were alone together, but he wasn’t exactly sure how to proceed.

He was fairly certain he’d traded blow jobs with The Guy From The Bar, though his recollection of that encounter was hazy, and he had no idea if he’d been any good at it. He was certain he’d never had sex before, though he thought about it often – in the shower, or alone in his room at night – wondering how it would feel to let his control slip away, to use his carefully cultivated strength for something other than violence. Wondering how it would feel to let someone touch him the way he wanted to be touched. Wondering if he would ever trust someone enough to find out.

That person was sitting next to him, now. He had trusted Lance implicitly as a teammate, even before all this had started, and now that he knew him better personally, that trust ran much deeper. Even though he didn’t know the full extent of Lance’s dating history, Lance had implied that he was relatively inexperienced, too, and that was a massive relief. Lance was sweet, and open, and enthusiastically responsive, and Keith found these qualities incredibly arousing. He liked the softness of Lance’s mouth. He liked the hardness of Lance’s body. He wanted to know what he looked like, underneath his clothes. He wanted-

“Keith?”

He blinked.

“Huh?”

“I had to tell Hunk about us. Well, he guessed on his own, and I didn’t want to lie to him.”

“Oh.” Keith nodded. “That’s okay. I’m glad you didn’t lie.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I still want to be careful, but I don’t want to lie about you, either.”

Lance stood up. He started pulling off his armor piece by piece, taking his time, arranging it carefully on the ledge where Keith was still sitting. He didn’t say anything, and he didn’t meet Keith’s eye, but Keith could tell that he was meant to watch.

So he did. He stared shamelessly. And even though Lance was fully clothed underneath his armor, and Keith had seen him wearing much less, he was stunned by the intimacy of watching him undress. A moment ago he’d been a warrior, battle-ready, hard and protected. But when he laid his last piece of armor down, he was just Lance, again. Still tall and lean and strong, but vulnerable, now. Fully clothed, but bare. Keith found himself holding his breath as Lance put on his crown.

“Keith?”

Lance was reaching out for him, now, so he accepted his outstretched hand and let himself be led to the front of the cockpit.

“Sit down,” Lance said, nodding toward the pilot’s chair. Keith smiled.

“Is that an order?”

“More like a firm request.”

“And if I don’t comply?”

Lance smirked. “Then I’ll have to beg you.”

Keith swallowed, already lightheaded even though they’d barely touched each other, yet. “Okay,” he said. “Do that.”

Lance leaned close to his ear.

_“Please sit down, Red.”_

Keith shivered. He sat down.

Lance picked up Keith’s crown from the console, stepped close to him, and placed it carefully on his head. Then he put his hands on his shoulders and straddled him, settling onto his lap, his feet planted on either side of the chair.

“Want to shine with me?” he said, his fingers in Keith’s hair.

“Yes.”

Lance kissed him once, so softly that Keith stopped breathing entirely, protecting the sweetness of it. He kept his eyes closed and his lips parted, holding himself still until Lance kissed him again, and then he responded slowly, concentrating on the ways that Lance was touching him, creating an impression of Lance’s gentle affection that he could carry with him once the moment had passed. He pulled on Lance’s lower lip. He slipped his hands underneath Lance’s shirt. He willed Lance to feel his desire like a gift, something that he could hold and keep, something that he deserved. Something that he’d earned.

And then he felt Lance’s skin growing hot – he had one palm pressed against his lower back – and he opened his eyes, and found a halo of light around his head. Lance blinked at him, and it shimmered, like a collection of stars.

 _“Wow,”_ he whispered. Lance nodded.

_“Wow, yourself.”_

They watched each other’s eyes while Keith slipped his fingertips inside the waistband of Lance’s pants, and Lance exhaled as Keith took hold of his hips and _pressed._ They kissed each other some more, sighing as the light flowed through them and surrounded them, binding them together. And then Keith felt the tension starting to mount between them – Lance was overflowing with emotion and sensation, just like he was – so he tasted the inside of Lance’s mouth, and pulled down on his hips-

_“Oh-”_

It was half-whimper, half sigh – Lance was biting his lower lip while the light shimmered around him – and Keith could feel that they were both hard, because their bodies were pressing together through too many layers of fabric-

_“Keith?”_

Lance was blinking down at him, breathing shallow.

_“Uh huh?”_

_“I’ve never done this before. Not with a guy.”_

Keith put a hand on his cheek, scattering the particles of light.

 _“Do you want to stop?”_ He already knew the answer, but it felt right to ask, anyway.

_“No.”_

_“Me neither.”_

Lance brushed a few strands of long, dark hair away from his face.

_“Bring me upstairs, Red.”_

_“Is that an order?”_

_“Yes.”_

Keith slid his hands down and around Lance’s thighs and stood up from the chair, lifting him up. Lance held onto his shoulders, wrapping his legs around his hips, smiling amidst his halo of shimmering energy. Keith stood still for a moment, taking in the sight of him, testing his balance. He was used to manipulating other people’s bodies in combat – he’d lifted Lance easily, almost without thinking – but he’d never actually _held_ someone like this, before. He marveled at the effortlessness of it – at the way they were balancing each other’s weight – and he thought about what else they could do in this position, and how else he might be able to move Lance’s body-

_“Keith.”_

_“Huh?”_

_“I can feel you thinking at me.”_

_“Oh… sorry-”_

_“Upstairs. Now. Please.”_

* * *

They avoided touching each other on their way back to Lance’s quarters, trying to give themselves a chance to cool down in case they met anyone on their way. They didn’t, though, and Keith was kissing Lance’s mouth again as soon as he’d swiped his door open. They stumbled over the threshold together, and the door slid shut behind them so that they were finally, perfectly alone.

They went on kissing each other in the center of the room. Lance held a handful of Keith’s hair, and Keith held a handful of Lance’s shirt, and all of his impulses were telling him to tackle Lance onto the bed. He was restraining himself, though, because he could still sense the flavor of Lance’s mood. Lance wanted this, badly, but he was also unsure. Self-conscious. Nervous about how it would go.

So Keith needed to go slow. He needed to be sweet.

 _“Lance,”_ he breathed, holding tight to his waist. He’d been kissing the space under his ear. _“You feel so good.”_

Lance made an incoherent sound in response. Keith smiled to himself, kissed his neck one more time, and then took a step back from him. He took his time removing his own shirt, trying to project an image of calm confidence, even though his whole body was on fire. Lance stared at him for a moment, then shook his head slowly and said, “You look so different.” He put a hand on Keith’s chest. “You look so strong.”

Keith smiled. “You saw me like this, yesterday.”

“I know… but I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to think of you, like this.”

“Like what?”

“Like, your body…” He was tracing the hard lines of Keith’s chest with his fingertips. “It’s beautiful.”

“You’re beautiful,” Keith said, because it was true, and because he knew Lance needed to hear it. _Deserved_ to hear it. “Especially here...” He rested his knuckles against Lance’s cheek and brushed his thumb over his mouth. “Though, I haven’t seen all of you yet.”

Lance closed his eyes for a moment, swaying a little.

 _“You want to?”_ he whispered.

_“You know I do.”_

Lance opened his eyes, pulled off his shirt, and let it fall to the floor. Then he put both of his hands on his stomach, like he wasn’t sure what to do with them, all of a sudden. He swallowed, looking more nervous than Keith had ever seen him.

“Lance…” Keith stepped close to him and gently pulled his hands away. He rested his own fingertips on Lance’s stomach, instead, moving one thumb over his smooth skin. He leaned close to Lance’s ear.

_“Beautiful.”_

Lance made a small, desperate sound. He leaned his forehead against Keith’s.

_“Your turn, Red.”_

Keith smiled, then pressed a slow kiss against the side of his face.

He couldn’t think of a particularly graceful way to take his own pants off – they were smooth and close-fitting, almost like leggings – so he decided to do what he normally did, and hope that he wouldn’t shatter the mood by standing on one leg like one of the bird-like creatures they’d seen at the lake.

_The lake. Lance’s hair, drying in the sun. Lance’s fingertips brushing against him under the water. Lance’s arms locked tight around his shoulders._

Keith pushed down on the waistband of his pants and slid them off, one leg at a time. He dropped them onto the floor and straightened up, still wearing his soft, earth-colored shorts.

Lance looked him over for a moment, his cheeks darkening to a lovely shade of red, then swallowed, and said, “I feel like if I try to do that right now, I’m going to trip and fall on my face.”

Keith looked at him a little more closely and saw that his hands were shaking. He stepped close to him again.

“Can I do it for you?”

Lance nodded.

“Yes. Please.”

Keith sank down onto one knee, holding Lance’s gaze, keeping his hands firm around Lance’s hips. He pressed a slow kiss against his stomach, and Lance sighed and smoothed at his hair, so he kissed him several more times, following the trail of fine hair under his belly button, pulling down on the waistband of his pants as he went. When he ran out of real estate, he pulled them all the way down, holding firmly to Lance’s hip while he removed them from one foot at a time.

He had been planning to stand up, to think of more compliments to give, but he got distracted by the dark spot at the front of Lance’s shorts. Lance was hard, and he was leaking precum – maybe he’d been wet ever since he’d straddled Keith in the black lion – and the notion was so distractingly arousing that Keith leaned forward, put his mouth on the spot, and kissed it.

 _“Oh,”_ Lance breathed, and Keith mouthed at the spot again, making contact with Lance’s cock through the fabric. _“Ah… Keith…”_

He looked up.

“Everything okay?”

Lance nodded. “Are you sure you want to…?”

“Yes.” _More than anything_. “Just… keep your mind open so I can tell if it feels okay. I don’t really know what I’m doing.”

“It feels amazing.”

Keith smiled. “I haven’t touched you, yet.”

“I know. I think I’m losing my shit, a little bit.”

Keith reached for Lance’s hand and squeezed.

“It’s okay, Lance. I’ll take care of you.”

“I… I know. I trust you.”

“Ready?”

“Yes.”

Keith took a calming breath, deliberately checking his impulses. He had fantasized about doing this – someday, with someone – for a long time, and he could feel himself straining toward recklessness. But that wasn’t what he wanted, and it wasn’t what Lance needed right now, either. He needed softness. He needed to be eased into this. So Keith started mouthing him through his shorts again, taking his time, feeling for the head of his cock through the fabric. He pressed the flat of his tongue against it, and he felt Lance throb in response, and he had to close his eyes for a moment, because he was throbbing, too - because Lance’s arousal was alive inside his mind. He took a shaky breath, then opened his eyes, slid Lance’s shorts down from his hips, and held Lance’s cock in his hand for the first time.

It looked different than his own. It was a little longer, and a little thinner, more tapered at the head, where his was wider. It was less intimidating than he’d expected, because he knew he’d be able to fit it in his mouth. That was important. He wanted Lance to enjoy this as much as possible, and he felt some of the weight of his own inexperience lifting off of his shoulders.

He kissed the tip of it, then licked at the slick of precum he found there. It was warm and salty – natural-tasting – and he liked the way it felt on his lips and tongue, so he licked again, and Lance let out a muffled whimper that made his head spin. He looked up and found that Lance had clamped one of his hands over his mouth.

“Lance? You okay?”

Lance nodded vigorously, but he didn’t take his hand away, and when Keith licked him again, he closed his eyes and made that same stifled, broken sound. Lance was the one feeling reckless, now – Keith could sense the urgency building inside of him – so he let some of his control slip, and he took Lance’s cock into his mouth, pulling it all the way to the back of his throat-

_oh holy fucking shit_

The words appeared in Keith’s mind, a gift from Lance, who was whimpering, not speaking. Keith repeated the gesture and was rewarded with another flash of incoherence-

_fuck fuck just like that Keith please_

…and he had to let go of Lance’s hip so he could grasp his own cock through his shorts, because hearing his own name like this – hearing Lance plead, like this – was the single most erotic thing he’d ever experienced. He swirled his tongue around Lance’s head while he pressed his thumb against his own, and Lance made a new sound – _Ah hah –_ and practically bent double, his free hand tightening in Keith’s hair. Keith tried to find a rhythm, stroking with his hand and swirling with his tongue at the same time, thinking the maneuver would be much more refined if he wasn’t so preoccupied by his own throbbing erection-

“ _Ahh_ \- uh- Keith- _”_

Lance was speaking out loud, now. Keith slowed his pace and looked up.

“I’m- I’m close- _”_

Really? So close, already? This was good news, because Keith was halfway gone, himself. He nodded up at Lance, preparing for what came next.

“You want me to-?”

_yes, yes, yes_

_okay good because holy shit_

Keith stroked a little faster, and sucked a little harder, and he knew when Lance was about to break, because he gripped his hair so hard that it hurt-

_don’t stop Keith you don’t understand how much I wanted this_

_yes, I do, I do_

And then Lance was lost – he was coming in waves against the back of Keith’s throat – and Keith was concentrating, tasting and swallowing, dizzy and triumphant, losing himself in Lance’s sweetness.

And then he was flat on his back – Lance had dropped to the floor and pushed him down – and he suddenly understood why Lance had covered his mouth, because Lance was sucking on the head of his cock, and he heard himself make a sound he hadn’t known he was capable of making. He groped for something to grab onto, settling on Lance’s bare arm and shoulder, and he held on tight while Lance pulled him deep-

“FUCK!” he said, much louder than he’d meant to. He couldn’t help it, he had no control, he’d been ready to burst a moment ago just from making Lance come. He wanted this to last, he begged his body to wait, but it was no use. He felt his hips tensing, felt pressure below his belly unlike anything he’d ever experienced, felt Lance’s tongue trace every centimeter of his head – and then he came crashing down like a wave, shaking and shuddering, thinking:

_Lance- Lance- Lance…_

“Keith?”

He was still adrift, colors swirling behind his closed eyelids.

“Uh. Uh huh?”

“You taste like flowers.”

He opened his eyes and found Lance hovering over him. He nodded, focusing on the softness in Lance’s expression, trying to find a path back to coherence.

“You did, too.” He swallowed. He could still taste Lance on his tongue. “It must be from the food.”

Lance smoothed Keith’s hair away from his forehead.

“Get in bed with me?”

“Mh. As soon as I can move.”

Lance grinned.

“I did a good job?”

“Are you kidding?” Keith reached up and brushed at Lance’s lips with his thumb. They were still wet. “You’re amazing. I think I blacked out for a minute.”

Lance’s eyelids fluttered. He leaned into Keith’s touch.

“Uh huh. Me, too.”

He lingered like that for a moment, then stood up in a fluid motion. He pulled Keith to his feet – carefully, effortlessly – and led him to the bed. He slid under the covers and moved close to the wall, and Keith climbed in next to him, sitting upright.

“Get on your stomach for a minute?” Keith asked. Lance smiled and shifted onto his belly, hugging a pillow under his chin. Keith ran one finger along the line of his shoulder, then slid the blanket down from his waist, until his hand was resting lightly on the curve of his lower back.

“I didn’t get a chance to see this part,” he explained. “Is this okay?”

Lance nodded. “It feels so nice.”

“Your skin is so smooth.” Keith traced his fingertips down the slope of Lance’s back, then slid the blanket down a little further and brushed his knuckles over his bare backside. “So soft.”

“You like it?”

“I love it.”

The word hung between them for a moment, shimmering.

“Keith?”

“Mm?”

“Why do you think we could hear each other thinking, like that? I could feel what you were feeling, too. That doesn’t happen with anyone else. I mean, every now and then I can tell when someone else on the team is really scared or hurt, but only when we’re piloting Voltron.”

Keith thought for a moment.

“Maybe it’s because we invited each other in?”

Lance nodded.

“I can’t hear you now, though.”

“I bet you could, if you concentrated.”

“Hm. Okay. Hit me.”

Keith took a slow breath, thinking about the flickers of gold and bronze he’d caught behind his closed eyelids when Lance had been inside his mind.

_Your ass is incredible._

Lance giggled, blushing.

“You could’ve said that out loud.”

“Can you picture me saying that out loud?”

“After what we just did? Absolutely.”

“No. Definitely not.”

“Uh huh. You should say it right now.”

“Lance…”

“C’mon. It’s me. And I already know you’re thinking it. You have nothing to lose.”

Keith sighed, flustered.

“It’ll make you happy?”

“Yup. So happy.”

He scowled, then slid down onto his back, pulled the blanket over his head, and said, _“Your ass is incredible.”_

Lance laughed, then peeked under the blanket and laid down next to him, pulling the covers over both their heads. He kissed Keith’s cheek.

“Thank you.”

Keith shrugged a little. “It’s true.”

“Okay… your turn. Flip over.”

Keith did as he was told, settling onto his stomach, resting his chin on his folded arms. Lance didn’t move, though. He was laying on his side, watching Keith’s eyes, smoothing at the strands of hair that kept falling in his face. He pressed his palm between Keith’s shoulder blades, slid his fingertips down the center of his back, and rested his hand on the curve of his ass.

“Can I ask you something?” he said, still holding Keith’s gaze.

“Yeah.”

“Do you like girls, too? Or just guys?”

“I’m not sure. I only ever liked one other person.”

“Besides me?”

“Yeah. Besides you.”

Lance nodded, stroking Keith’s skin with his fingertips.

“So… do you ever…” He hesitated. He took a breath, opened his mind, and willed the question in Keith’s direction.

_Do you touch yourself back here? Inside?_

Keith smiled.

“Not so easy to say everything out loud, huh?”

Lance blinked, blushing. Keith nodded.

“Yeah. I do, sometimes.”

Lance let go of the breath he’d been holding. “Me, too.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Lance pressed a little closer to him. “I’ve never told anyone.”

“Not even Hunk?”

“No. I wasn’t sure what he’d think about it. So… I just wanted to tell you. I thought you would understand.”

Keith nodded. “I do.”

“So… what do you use?”

Keith blinked. “Huh?”

“Like… on your fingers.”

“Oh. Uh… soap. I usually just do it in the shower.”

“Uh huh. I used to do that, too. But then Hunk started making this oil, and… it’s… better. It almost tastes like vanilla.”

“It’s edible?”

“Yeah.”

“But… I thought you said Hunk didn’t know about…”

“Oh. Uh. He knows I use it. He just doesn’t know about all the things I use it for.”

Keith closed his eyes for a moment. Lance was tracing circles over his hip, and his lower back, and his ass.

“So…” Lance said. “Can I pull the blanket down so I can see you?”

“Yeah.”

Lance shifted onto his knees, moving the blanket down to the end of the bed. Then he let his eyes travel over Keith’s muscular back, down to his narrow waist, and then to the slight curve of his bare backside. He swallowed, touching his fingertips to the small of Keith’s back.

“How do you even _get_ muscles here?”

Keith laughed.

“You have those muscles, too.”

“I do?”

“Yes. I just saw them.”

“Huh. I guess I don’t ever see myself from this angle.”

“Well, anytime you need me to take inventory for you…” Keith smirked at Lance over his shoulder, then stifled a yawn. “Sorry,” he mumbled. “That ritual… and then…”

“It’s okay. I’m tired, too.” Lance glanced at the electronic display on the wall. The Olkari had programmed the clocks in their rooms to display minutes and hours, like they were accustomed to. “We still have a couple hours before dinner. Want to sleep with me?”

Keith turned onto his side, took hold of Lance’s arm, and tugged. Lance eagerly took the hint, stretching out on his side, too, so that they were face to face. Keith blinked sleepily at him for a moment, then moved closer to him, tucking his head under his chin, burying his face against his chest. He wrapped his arm around Lance’s waist and slid one knee between his thighs so that they were completely intertwined, and Lance was so overwhelmed by the intimacy of it, he felt a tear splash onto his cheek before he could manage to swallow the lump in his throat. He held Keith’s body with both arms.

_“Keith?”_

_“Mh?”_

_“Are you busy tonight?”_

Keith’s lips pressed against his chest.

_“Yeah. I think this guy I like might let me see him naked.”_

Lance giggled.

_“How’d you get so funny, all of a sudden?”_

Keith was quiet for a moment before he said, _“I feel… different. Happy.”_

Lance knew what he meant. Keith’s life had been one challenge, one obstacle, one tragedy after another. Lance used to watch him in action, thinking that he was as hard and sharp as the blade he carried, that he’d been forged in the fires of grief, a carefully crafted soldier, deadly and uncompromising. But he knew better, now. Keith wasn’t searching for more battles to fight. He wasn’t looking to harden his heart. He was looking for a way to be soft.

_“Keith?”_

He didn’t answer – he was already sleeping – and it was just as well. Lance swallowed the words he knew he shouldn’t say. He kissed the top of Keith’s head and closed his eyes, but he didn’t sleep. He was busy falling in love with every inch of Keith’s bare skin.

He was busy wondering how long it would be until Keith belonged to someone else.


	8. I Need You to Choose

“Keith.”

“Mm.”

“Hey, Red… time to wake up.”

It was a massive effort for Keith to open his eyes.

“I was dreaming,” he murmured, his face still pressed against Lance’s chest. Lance’s fingers were smoothing through his hair.

“What about?”

Keith slid his hand down Lance’s side to the curve of his hip.

“This...”

He lifted his head.

“And this.”

He kissed Lance’s lips, and Lance kept his eyes closed even after Keith had snuggled against his chest, again. His shoulders ached, and his right arm was awash in pins and needles, because he’d spent the last two hours holding Keith while he slept, begging the clock to stop. Because he knew two hours wouldn’t be enough. Because he knew that there were no guarantees out here, so far from home – that every second with Keith could be the last, for more reasons than he could count. He had seen and done so many impossible things since he’d become a paladin, so why were the seconds still ticking by? Couldn’t he make time stand still, if he wanted it badly enough? What good was all this power if this perfect moment had to end?

“I silenced your communicator a minute ago,” he said. “Your dinner alarm was beeping.”

“So we have a few minutes,” Keith said, tightening his arm around Lance’s back.

“It doesn’t feel like enough time.”

“It never will. Not until this is all over.”

“And what then?” Lance asked, though he knew he shouldn’t ask. “Will you still feel like this?”

Keith lifted his head to look in his eyes. “I hope so.”

Lance nodded. “Me, too.”

“Lance…” Keith slid on top of him, straddling his waist. “I’ll be back here tonight, okay?”

Lance slid his hands down Keith’s back, and then held onto his hips. “Unless someone tries to come and kill us.”

Keith leaned so close to him, their noses were almost touching. “If someone tries to come and kill us, we’ll beat them.”

“How do you know?”

“I can feel it. I could feel it when we were in the black lion, together.” He moved one of Lance’s arms over his head and pinned it there, holding tight to his wrist. “I’m going to get you home.”

Lance tried to push back against his grip, and Keith increased the pressure, holding him in place. Lance licked his lips and gave him a tiny nod – _Yes, I want you to_ – and Keith moved his other arm over his head and held that wrist in place, too. Lance tested the pressure again, and his wrists barely budged.

Keith was so strong. Keith could do anything.

 _“We’re going to win,”_ Keith whispered, right before he bit Lance’s lower lip.

 

* * *

 

They were still getting dressed for dinner when Lance’s doorbell tone sounded. They exchanged a worried glance, pulling on their long-sleeved shirts in silence.

 _“Bathroom,”_ Lance mouthed, pointing, and Keith nodded and shut himself inside the small bathroom at the back of the room. He didn’t like the idea of having to hide, but he knew it was for the best, until he and Lance could figure out how much they wanted to share with the rest of the team.

Lance tapped the intercom button next to the door.

“Who is it?”

“Room service,” Hunk said. “Can I interest you in a complimentary fruit platter?”

Lance giggled and tapped the door control.

“Hey, man… oh. Wow. You actually have a fruit platter?”

Hunk stepped inside, carrying a plate of brightly-colored fruit slices.

“Like I’d ever lie about fruit platters.”

The door slid shut behind him, and he set the plate down on Lance’s small table.

“That looks amazing… but aren’t we about to go have dinner?”

“Nah. We’re delaying by an hour.” The screen in Lance’s wall lit up, signaling an incoming message. “That’ll be Pidge,” Hunk explained. “Shiro’s still being fitted for his new prosthetic. We figured we should wait for him, so I grabbed some snacks. I thought you might want to…”

He trailed off as Keith stepped out of the bathroom and gave him a small wave.

“Hey, Hunk.”

“Keith!” Hunk practically yelled. Lance cringed internally, bracing himself. “Hey, man! What’s, uh, what’s happening? I mean, not, like, _right now_ , or anything, because that’s totally none of my business, but, like, what’s _up_ , man? How’s it… hanging?”

Lance took a calming breath. “Good effort, Hunk, but he knows you know.”

Hunk visibly relaxed. “Whew,” he said, back at normal speaking volume. “ _That_ is good news. How’s it going, Keith?”

“It’s going pretty great, Hunk.” Keith was smiling. “How are you? Feeling better?”

“Yeah. Thanks. That ritual was pretty intense, huh?”

Keith thought about the way Lance’s skin had shimmered while he’d straddled him in the pilot’s chair.

“Uh huh,” he said. “Intense.”

Lance cleared his throat. “So… Shiro? Is he okay?”

“Uh… I mean… he came back from the dead a couple days ago, so that’s gotta be a thing, but otherwise he seems okay. His new arm looks pretty cool. Ryner and Callos set up this whole medical bay in the simulation room, if you want to go see.”

Keith realized for the first time that Hunk was wearing his paladin armor.

“Are we supposed to go train?” he asked.

“Well, it sounded like Shiro was going to stay down there and test out the arm, so I figured I’d gear up in case he wanted support.”

“Good thinking,” Keith said.

Lance looked at him.

“Keith-”

“I know. One second.” Their armor was still down in the hangar, inside the black lion. “Kosmo!”

The wolf materialized at his side and licked his hand. He kneeled down next to it.

“I need to go to the black lion for a minute, buddy.”

The wolf huffed and tilted its head to one side, as if it knew how trivial this errand was. Keith put a hand on its back.

“Please?”

The wolf snuffled, and then they both disappeared in a shimmer of light.

“Huh,” Hunk said. “So. Your boyfriend teleports. That’s cool.”

 _Boyfriend._ That was a word Lance had been trying very hard not to say to himself, let alone out loud.

“He’s not… we’re just…”

“’Hanging out.’ Right,” Hunk said, looking apologetic. “Sorry, man. That’s what I meant.”

Lance nodded. “It’s okay.”

Keith reappeared a few seconds later, awkwardly grasping the two sets of armor so he could keep one hand on Kosmo’s head. Hunk raised an eyebrow at Lance, and Lance didn’t need to access his mind to know what he was thinking.

_You got undressed in the black lion? Together?_

Lance swallowed. He wasn’t ready to talk about what had happened with Keith, yet… except with Keith. He could’ve gone on talking to Keith all night, and probably all day tomorrow, and maybe the day after that…

_Boyfriend._

“So… I’ll let you guys get dressed,” Hunk said, looking a little flustered. “See you in the simulation room?”

“Yeah,” Lance said. “We’ll be right down.”

Hunk nodded, then hesitated, then said, “I’ll try really hard not to say anything, okay?”

“I don’t want to put you in that position,” Keith said, laying the armor down on Lance’s bed. “I mean… sorry, Lance, I don’t want to speak for you…”

Lance shook his head. “It’s okay. Go ahead.”

“I don’t have any problem with people knowing we’re spending time together,” Keith told him. “Do you?”

“No. Definitely not.”

“Okay.” He looked at Hunk. “I’d never ask you to lie to the rest of the team. But maybe the specifics can stay between us, for now. Is that reasonable?”

“More than reasonable,” Hunk said. “See you guys in a few.”

He let himself out. Lance stared after him for a moment, trying to process how he was feeling about the way that conversation had gone.

“Lance?” Keith’s hand was on his arm.

“Huh?”

Keith’s expression was serious while he thought for a moment.

“I’m not sure if I got my point across, just now. I mean, I do think we should take some time to figure out what we both want… but I’m not going to lie to anyone about the fact that I care about you.”

Lance nodded, slowly.

“That means a lot to me.”

“ _You_ mean a lot to me.”

Lance stared. It still caught him off guard, sometimes, hearing Keith speak like that. It was the same tone he used when he was leading the team. Strong. Confident. Direct. Like his words were law.

“I…” he started, scrambling for something to say. “I didn’t sleep, just now. I couldn’t. I didn’t want to miss any of it. That was the first time… I mean, I’ve never just… held someone, like that.”

Keith shook his head. “Me neither.”

“So… how did it go?” Lance asked, a smile spreading across his face.

Keith stepped close to him. “It was perfect.” He picked up a piece of fruit from the table and held it up. “You should eat before we go.”

Lance giggled and held out his hand, but Keith shook his head and held the yellow, citrus-looking slice closer to Lance’s mouth.

“Let me.”

“Okay, but it’s too big-”

Keith crammed it into Lance’s half-open mouth, forcing the edges in with the tip of his finger while Lance giggled and tried to chew the oversized bite. Keith smirked, eyeing the juice on Lance’s lips, trickling down to his chin. He leaned close to him and lapped at it with the tip of his tongue.

“Mm,” he said. “Sweet.”

Lance nodded, swallowing.

“I think you missed some.”

Keith grinned, delighted that Lance was playing along. He licked at the corner of Lance’s mouth, then along his lower lip.

“Is this weird?” he asked, unsure. “I just… wanted to.”

Lance shook his head, looking dazed.

“No. I like it.” He licked his lower lip, where Keith’s tongue had just been. “Do you want me to lick you, too?”

Keith nodded.

“Where?”

“Besides the obvious?”

“Mm.” Lance smiled. “ _That_ was fun. But yeah. Besides there.”

“Uh… you choose?”

Lance examined his exposed skin. There wasn’t much of it, and he didn’t think it would be wise for them to start undressing again, now, so he pulled the neckline of Keith’s shirt down and to the side, and traced an inch of his collarbone with the tip of his tongue. Then he brought the inside of Keith’s right wrist to his mouth and kissed it, lapping with his tongue at the same time.

 _“Oh-_ ”

He did it again, watching Keith’s eyelids flutter and close. He sucked on the spot a little, and Keith sighed, and then he used his teeth, and Keith whispered,

 _“Lance…_ ”

And then he had to stop, because he was dizzy and throbbing from the taste of Keith’s skin and the sound of his own name.

Keith opened his eyes. “I’m sorry. I got carried away, again. I just needed to know how it would feel.”

Lance swallowed. _Needed to know._ Keith _needed to know._

“You want me to do this later? When we have time?”

“Yes.”

Lance nodded. “I know we need to go…”

Keith’s hands were on his waist.

“One more minute.”

They were kissing each other slowly, tasting citrus.

_One more minute. That’s what I keep thinking._

_Maybe we do want the same thing._

Keith’s tongue was in his mouth.

_Maybe._

 

* * *

 

Lance spent the short walk to the simulation room trying to adjust his mindset, because it was getting more difficult to transition from these private moments with Keith to interacting with the rest of the team. He was used to having to separate his personal feelings from his paladin persona – piloting Voltron was like a job, and he knew how to behave professionally – but it was uncomfortable that most of the team didn’t know what was going on between them. He was reminded of their early days of piloting, when their individual secrets and insecurities had prevented them from forming Voltron, and he knew they couldn’t afford to let something like that happen again. And he and Keith seemed to be on the same page about that… so why did everything feel so complicated?

_Because of Shiro._

It hurt to think about. The last thing he wanted to do was cause Keith or Shiro more pain. His feelings for them as a pair were about as powerful and complicated as his feelings for Keith, individually. Was it possible to fall in love with the way two people loved each other? He’d thought so, standing on that moon after their last battle, realizing that Keith had dragged Shiro back from the dead through sheer force of will. It had been the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

Keith loving Shiro had been the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen… until today. Until he’d held Keith’s naked, sleeping body in his arms.

What was he going to do?

“Hey. Blue.”

Lance looked at Keith. They were standing outside the closed door of the simulation room.

“Uh huh?”

“Everything’s going to be fine. Trust me, okay?”

Lance nodded.

“I do.”

Keith touched his arm, briefly, then waved the door open.

There were several people in the room, though it was practically silent. Hunk and Pidge were bent over a digital console close to the left wall, while Callos and Allura were standing on either side of Shiro, who was sitting upright on an examination table. His eyes were closed, and he winced as Ryner tapped at a console nearby. All four of them were wearing Olkari crowns.

Allura noticed Lance and Keith walk in, and she waved them over. Lance risked a glance at Keith’s face and found his expression neutral, but he wasn’t fooled. He reached out with his mind and caught a hint of the turmoil underneath.

Alarm. Concern. Affection. Nausea. Confusion.

Not regret, though. Keith wasn’t feeling any regret.

 _He’ll be fine, Red,_ Lance tried to tell hm, though he doubted he was listening.

Keith hung back a bit as they approached the table, so Lance stepped next to Allura, who had her hand on Shiro’s shoulder.

“They’re having some difficulty integrating the prosthetic with Shiro’s consciousness,” she explained, her voice barely more than a whisper. “I’m going to see if I can help with the process.”

Shiro opened his eyes.

“Lance… Keith… I’m glad you’re here.”

Lance took hold of Shiro’s hand. It was an impulse; he was barely aware that he’d done it.

“Are you okay?”

Shiro nodded. “Just a little setback. I’m sure we’ll figure it out.”

“It looks like it hurts.”

He smiled and squeezed Lance’s hand reassuringly.

“Nothing I can’t handle with a little help.”

“What can we do?” Keith asked.

“Stay close,” Shiro said. “I’ll let you know.”

“We can begin, now, Princess,” Ryner said.

Allura nodded, her hand still on Shiro’s shoulder. Callos put both hands on Shiro, too: one on the new prosthetic, and one on the center of his chest. Lance and Keith took a step back from the table to give them some space, and then Allura and Callos closed their eyes and bowed their heads. Hunk and Pidge were watching from their console a few feet away, looking about as distressed as Lance felt.

 _Stay close._ That was new. Lance had never heard Shiro say something so personal. And since when did he talk about needing help? Lance was surprised he’d even allowed anyone inside the room with him during a procedure like this. He was suffering, and he was worried.

And he was letting everyone see it.

Lance guessed that he must’ve been holding his breath for a full minute before anything happened, and he finally exhaled as Allura’s body started to glow. The halo of light was different than the one he and Keith had experienced in the black lion, and he wondered why that was. Did humans and Alteans channel and manipulate quintessence differently?

But not all Alteans had this ability, he reminded himself. Allura was special.

He remembered the first time he had ever seen Allura bathed in ethereal light, like this. Everything about her had seemed like magic, back then, from her flowing curls, to her delicately pointed ears, to the duality of her nature: so commanding and so soft, all at once. So sad, and still so brave. Ten thousand years separated her from almost everyone and everything she’d ever loved, and yet she rarely let it show. Lance knew what it was like to carry on, even when the loneliness ran so deep, it seemed impossible to escape from. He had always been comforted by the joyful optimism Allura projected, despite everything she’d had to endure.

 _“Ooh…”_ she said, gripping the edge of the table with her free hand for support. Her expression was pained, and her glow slowly faded, until the magic was gone. She opened her eyes and looked at Ryner, who shook her head, looking thoughtful. Shiro opened his eyes, too.

“The link remains unstable, Defender,” Ryner said. “I may need some time to decide upon another course of action.”

“Let me try,” Keith said, startling just about everyone. He approached the table, taking Allura’s place as she stepped away, closer to Lance. She looked pale and tired, so Lance put a steadying hand on her back, and she smiled gratefully at him. Hunk and Pidge joined the group, too, falling in line with Allura and Lance at the end of the table.

“Shiro,” Keith was saying. His hand was on Shiro’s shoulder, now. “Let me in?”

Shiro looked up at him, almost helplessly. He nodded.

Keith looked at Ryner.

“Can you explain what’s happened so far?”

“Well, we were able to attach the prosthetic easily. It’s fully integrated with Defender Shirogane’s anatomy, and the connection to his motor cortex is seamless, so the problem must be… metaphysical. His consciousness has taken root inside this body, but it’s almost as if the link is still solidifying.”

“Have you tried giving him the distillation you gave me?”

“Yes,” Callos said. “We believe that is why the physical aspect of the attachment procedure was so successful.”

Keith nodded.

“Okay. I’m ready to try.”

 _“Try what?”_ Hunk whispered to Lance. _“What’s he talking about?”_

Lance just shook his head.

“You may want to wear the crown we gave you, Paladin,” Ryner told Keith.

“Right.” He squeezed Shiro’s shoulder. “I’ll be back in a minute.” He looked toward the ceiling. “Kosmo!”

The wolf appeared by his side, looking around the room for a moment before its gaze settled on Shiro. It whimpered softly, then licked Shiro’s hand.

Keith kneeled down and put an arm around the animal’s neck. He whispered something close to its ear, and Lance thought he could guess what it was.

_Take me to Lance’s quarters._

That was where his crown was.

He disappeared in a flash.

“There he goes again,” Hunk said. “Is anyone else having a hard time getting used to that?”

Keith reappeared in the same spot, wearing his crown. He ruffled the fur on the wolf’s head affectionately, and it snuffled at him before padding over to Lance. It sat down in front of him and leaned against his legs. This was new, too. The wolf had never shown much interest in him before. He started to wonder exactly how closely Keith and the wolf were connected.

Keith put his hand on Shiro’s shoulder again, looking serious.

“Are you ready?”

Shiro nodded. “As I’ll ever be.”

He closed his eyes, and then Keith did too, bowing his head.

After a few seconds, Keith’s crown started to shimmer, like it had in the black lion. Lance thought this must be a good sign, but then Keith’s expression twisted in frustration. He kept his eyes closed and his head bowed, but he extended his hand in Lance’s direction.

“Blue,” he said. “I need you.”

Lance swallowed. He ignored the several sets of eyes that were now on him and walked to Keith’s side, taking hold of his outstretched hand. He focused on the way their fingers threaded together, and then closed his eyes, gritting his teeth against a sudden bout of vertigo.

It was like stepping into someone else’s dream. Keith was there, standing in front of him, bathed in a gentle, purple light that seemed to come from _somewhere else_. Stars shimmered all around them in the dim twilight that extended impossibly far into the distance.

 _We’re on the astral plane?_ Lance asked. _How?_

 _I’m not sure,_ Keith said, stepping close to him, cradling his cheek with one hand. _Are you okay?_

Lance swallowed hard against another wave of dizziness. In the physical world, Keith was still holding tight to his hand. Lance could feel it. Except that Keith was _also_ standing in front of him, touching his cheek, and he was struggling to understand how both of those things could be true at the same time.

 _Dizzy,_ he said. Keith nodded.

 _I pulled you here._ He smiled. _Maybe I pulled a little too hard._

He pressed his lips to Lance’s forehead, and Lance let himself be anchored by the sensation. Keith needed him, here, so he did his best to commit himself to the twilight.

_Did something go wrong?_

Keith glanced to the right.

_It’s Shiro. He’s here, but… it’s like he keeps fading in and out. I tried to get him to stay, but I don’t think I can do it by myself._

Lance nodded. _I’ll help. Just tell me what to do._

Keith pulled his hand away from Lance’s cheek and took hold of his hand instead.

_I was trying to focus on him. His image, but also… my memories._

Images suddenly sprang to life inside Lance’s mind, like clips from a film being projected onto a wall. They flashed by almost too quickly for him to process.

Shiro, speaking at the front of a classroom.

Shiro, piloting a speeder in the desert.

Shiro, smiling against the backdrop of a sunset.

 _Wait,_ Lance said, squeezing Keith’s hand. _Slow down. Give me time._

Keith took a breath, and the progression slowed.

_Look, I know I messed up._

Lance looked at Keith. It sounded like his voice, but he hadn’t said the words out loud. They’d just appeared in Lance’s mind.

_You should just send me back to the home already. This place isn't for me._

A motion-picture image of Shiro’s face appeared in Lance’s head.

_Keith, you can do this. I will never give up on you._

Lance put his hand on his own chest. He wasn’t just _seeing_ these memories. He was _experiencing_ them, as if they’d happened to him, too. He could actually _feel_ the swell of longing and admiration that Keith had experienced in that moment, and for years afterward, thinking back on it.

The twilight shimmered in front of them.

_Keith…_

Shiro’s image appeared in front of them, drifting in and out of focus for a moment before it faded away again.

 _I don’t understand,_ Keith said. _We’ve done this before. When I was healing from my injuries, he came to me and helped me. We talked to each other. I touched his hand._

 _Shiro would do anything to help you,_ Lance said. _It might be harder to get him to help himself._

Keith nodded. _Your turn?_

Lance took a breath, then called up some of his early, well-worn memories of Shiro. Watching him speak in front of his class of cadets. Watching videos of his record-breaking flights, over and over again. Dreaming of being just like him one day: skilled, strong, admired, _needed_. Dreaming of the opportunity to win his friendship. His trust.

His affection.

Shiro shimmered into being again, looking a little more solid than before.

 _Lance… Keith…_ His expression was pained. _I don’t know how to stay._

Keith made a grab for his hand and managed to catch hold of it. His image continued to shimmer, but the hand Keith was holding looked more stable than the rest of him.

 _Don’t stop,_ Keith told Lance. _Hang onto me, Shiro._

Lance called up another memory, much more personal than the others. He had no images to project – only sounds and sensations – because when this memory had been made, his eyes had been closed, and he’d been drifting in and out of consciousness.

 _I thought I was dying_ , he told Shiro. _I was sure I was going to die. And then I heard your voice._

He knew Keith was feeling it, too, as if it had happened to both of them.

Losing consciousness after an explosion. Lying on the ground while the castle was under attack. And then being carried, half-conscious, on Shiro’s shoulders. Being protected. Being saved. Lance had almost allowed himself to love Shiro in those moments, but he’d set the notion aside, until now.

 _Lance…_ Shiro said. _I didn’t know._

Lance grabbed for his other hand and held on. It was the new prosthetic – the one they’d just seen attached to Shiro’s shoulder, in the simulation room – and when Lance grabbed onto it, he and Keith both felt a surge of energy, like they’d completed a circuit.

_Takashi… How important am I, to you?_

Lance stared between Shiro and Keith. That voice didn’t belong to either of them, but it was familiar, somehow. He was still trying to place it when he was overtaken by the images: Adam, smiling in the cockpit of a fighter jet. Adam, unpacking a box of his belongings in the quarters he and Shiro had shared together. Adam, pleading with Shiro to stay.

_You don’t need to protect me. This is something I need to do for myself._

Lance was immersed in the memory, now. Shiro was telling the person he loved that he’d be leaving, again. He was asking for understanding. He was begging to be seen.

But Lance knew how this story ended.

_I won’t go through this again._

_Don’t expect me to be here when you get back._

Lance felt the agony of it, and he knew Keith did, too, because he was squeezing his hand so hard, he thought his fingers must be breaking, right along with his heart.

_I don’t want to remember._

Shiro was speaking to them in real time, now, his image still fading in and out, anchored only by Keith and Lance, holding tight to his hands. His head was bowed.

_I don’t want to be this person, anymore._

Lance was bombarded with flashes of other memories:

Shiro being captured, and then tortured, by the Galra. Losing all sense of time as each agonizing moment bled into the next.

Fighting in the arena, battling monster after monster, until he was sure he must be one, too.

Losing his fight with Zarkon. Losing his life.

The tone of the images shifted, then, but they kept on coming:

Shiro was losing control of his body and his mind.

He was setting a virus meant to destroy the Castle of Lions, along with the people he cared about most.

He was holding a burning blade so close to Keith’s face that it was scarring his skin-

 _Stop it,_ Keith said, his voice strong. Commanding. Shiro’s head snapped in his direction. _I didn’t bring you back so you could punish yourself for the rest of your life. I brought you back so you could HAVE a life._

Keith’s memories flickered across Lance’s mind:

Finding Shiro alive in the desert by the Garrison.

Piloting alongside him, like he’d always dreamed of doing.

Protecting him. Fighting for him. Saving him, over and over again.

 _I know I can’t change what’s happened,_ Keith told him. _I know I can’t take those memories away. So you can share mine, instead. You can let me help you make new ones. I’m not going to watch you rewrite history to make yourself the villain. There is NOTHING wrong with you. I loved the person you were before, and I love who you are, now, and I’ll love whoever you choose to be, next. But I need YOU to choose. I need you to care about your life as much as I do. I need you to decide to stay with me._

Lance could feel tears falling onto his cheeks in the physical world, and even though he knew he was an essential part of what was happening here, he still felt like he was intruding on something private.

Something perfect.

Something _beautiful._

Keith and Shiro looked at him, glowing against a backdrop of stars.

_Blue…_

_Lance…_

They were both hugging him, now – except they weren’t, because Keith and Lance were still standing side-by-side, in the simulation room – and Lance thought, _It’s a beautiful dream, but that’s all it is._

“The connection is stabilizing,” he heard Ryner say, somewhere in the distance.

In the twilight, Shiro’s arms were solid around him, and Keith’s hand was on the back of his neck, and the love between them was surrounding him.

Suffocating him.

Reminding him of what he didn’t – couldn’t – have.

He opened his eyes to the physical world.

Shiro and Keith still had their eyes closed. Keith was still holding his hand, impossibly tight.

_Let go. Let me go._

He pulled his hand away and stepped back from the table, wiping the tears from his cheeks. He felt an arm slide around his back and found Hunk standing next to him, his eyebrows drawn in concern.

“Lance? What happened?”

Shiro and Keith opened their eyes They stared at each other for a moment before they blinked and acknowledged their surroundings, looking dazed. Shiro looked down at his prosthetic arm, lifted it off the table, and tightened his fingers into a fist.

“The connection is complete,” Ryner told him. “You should be experiencing full functionality.”

“How…?” Allura asked, looking stunned. “You were _glowing_ … you were- _oh_ -” She swayed a little and grabbed onto the edge of the table, and Hunk and Lance each took hold of one of her arms to steady her.

“Princess, you must rest, now,” Callos told her. “Shall I call someone to escort you to your quarters?”

“I’ll walk with her,” Lance said, grateful for an excuse to escape. Allura nodded gratefully and leaned against him.

“Lance,” Keith said, taking a step in his direction. “Wait-”

“I’ll see you later,” he said, his voice unfamiliar to his own ears.

 _Stay here,_ he thought. _He needs you. More than I do._

He put his arm around Allura. They walked out of the room together without another word.

 

* * *

 

Neither of them spoke again until they’d arrived at Allura’s quarters. Lance helped her sit down on her bed and examined her face for a moment before he straightened up to give her some space.

“Are you all right, Allura?”

“Fine, Lance. Are _you_ all right?”

He swallowed.

“I don’t know.”

She looked down at the floor, fidgeting with her hands.

“Something’s happened between you and Keith.”

It wasn’t a question, and he didn’t have the will or the energy to be evasive.

“Yeah.”

“I… I suppose I thought you might’ve been upset with me-”

“No. Not at all.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry you thought that.”

She shrugged, still looking at the floor. “I wouldn’t have blamed you. I should’ve known I was too late. I shouldn’t have expected you to wait so long for me to…” She trailed off, then looked up at him. “I’m sorry, Lance. I’m sorry that it took me so long to see you.”

He stared back at her. He had waited so long to hear her say these words – had dreamed of a moment like this, night after night – and yet now that it was happening, all he felt was confusion.

“Allura… I care about you so much,” he finally said. “I’d protect you with my life. That hasn’t changed.”

She nodded. “I’m grateful to hear that. I care for you, too.”

“So… maybe we can just keep on caring about each other? As friends?”

“Yes. I’ll consider myself lucky, to be your friend.”

“Me, too.”

They were quiet for a moment.

“So… can I do anything for you? Before I go?” Lance asked.

“No. I’ll just rest, now. Thank you.”

He deliberated for a moment, then stepped close to her, put a hand on her shoulder, and kissed the top of her head.

He let himself out.

 

* * *

 

Lance stood in the center of his room for a long time, staring at his bed, thinking that it felt like a lifetime had passed since he and Keith had laid there together. It had been easy for him to stay awake, then, but now all he wanted to do was sleep. He wanted time to pass without him. He was saturated with thoughts and feelings that he couldn’t begin to process, and he didn’t want to _feel_ , anymore.

He pulled off his armor piece by piece, storing it on a set of shelves at the back of the room. He pulled off his underclothes, too, and sat down on the edge of his bed in his shorts, trying to roll the tension from his neck and shoulders. He was about to lay down when Kosmo materialized in front of him.

They stared at each other for a moment before Lance held out his hand, and the wolf licked it, then moved closer and laid its head in his lap. Lance stroked its fur slowly, enjoying the simplicity of the sensation.

“Did Keith send you?”

Kosmo snuffled.

“What do you think I should do?”

The wolf let out a low, mournful sound.

Lance finally laid down, feeling immediate relief as soon as he was horizontal, as if the task of supporting his own weight was beyond him. Kosmo rested his head on the edge of the bed, and Lance stroked his fur until he fell asleep.

 

* * *

 

_“Lance? Can you open the door?”_

_“Mh.”_

Lance opened his eyes with an effort. Kosmo was gone, and the clock in the wall told him he’d been sleeping for about an hour. Someone was knocking on his door.

_“Lance… please let me in?”_

Keith.

Lance dragged himself out of bed and tapped the door control, and Keith stepped into his room, holding a plate.

“Look,” he said, clearly agitated. “I don’t care what you think of me right now. I just needed to see if you were okay.” He forced the plate into Lance’s hands, and Lance stared down the assortment of snacks. All of his favorite foods were there, because Keith had made this plate for him, and Keith knew what he liked to eat. He picked up one of the round, dumpling-shaped pieces and popped it into his mouth, and as soon as he tasted it, he realized he’d been starving.

“Thank you,” he said. “You should have some, too.”

“I’m not hungry,” Keith said, almost angrily.

“Keith.”

He huffed a sigh, then picked up a snack and took a bite.

Lance sat down on the edge of the bed, and Keith sat down on the edge of the chair, and they chewed in silence for a while, staring at the floor. Lance started to feel better as soon as the calories started kicking in, so he stood up and put the half-full plate on the table next to Keith, and then sat back down on the edge of the bed.

“How’s Shiro?” he asked, because the question was impossible to avoid.

Keith folded and unfolded his hands, like he wasn’t sure what to do with them.

“I have no idea,” he finally said. “We didn’t really talk, after you left. Ryner and Callos put him through a bunch of tests with the prosthetic. He’s still down there now, running drills with Hunk and Pidge.”

“Oh,” Lance said. “I thought you guys would’ve… I mean, I thought you’d be… together.”

“No. We’re not.” Keith stood up, crossing his arms over his chest. “Listen. I know what happened down there was… intense. I’ll understand, if you decide that you need some space. But that’s not what I want.”

Lance stared down at his hands, flexing and unflexing his fingers.

“I thought I could do this without thinking too much about the future. But I can’t. Not after being inside your head, like that. Not after getting that close.” He looked up. “I can’t do this without falling in love with you.”

Keith held his gaze.

“So let’s fall in love.”

Lance stared at him for a moment before he let out a laugh. “Are you crazy? That was not supposed to be part of the plan.”

“What plan?” Keith said, spreading his hands. “Fuck the plan, Blue. You’ve been inside my mind. You know how I feel.” He approached the bed and sat down next to Lance, leaving a couple of inches of space between them. “You know how much you mean to me.”

“I do. But there’s no room for me, between you and Shiro.”

“That’s not true.”

Lance sighed, then took a handful of breaths, trying to organize his thoughts.

“I know it’s complicated,” he said. “I don’t think we should decide anything right now. I can barely hear myself think, after…”

Keith nodded. “I understand. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to push.” He brushed his knuckles against Lance’s forearm. “I just don’t want to lose you.”

Lance thought his skin must be glowing where Keith had touched him. Thinking this through had already been a massive effort, and it was practically impossible, now, with Keith so close.

“I’ll care about you no matter what,” Lance said. “I promise.”

“Lance?”

“Mm?”

“Can I hug you?”

Lance knew he shouldn’t. He knew he was in way over his head, and sinking fast. He knew he could never let Keith go, if they touched each other now.

He slid his arms around Keith’s shoulders. He pressed his cheek against Keith’s neck.

_“Lance.”_

He closed his eyes.

_“Blue. If you want me to go, you have to tell me to go.”_

He brushed his lips against Keith’s skin.

_“You have to say it, Blue.”_

He touched the fasteners of Keith’s armor with his fingertips.

_“No.”_

He buried his face in Keith’s hair.

_“Don’t go.”_

He let his mouth fall open while Keith mouthed at his neck, soft lips and hot breath on sensitive skin, followed by warm, controlled wetness: the tip of Keith’s tongue sliding along the spot where Lance’s neck met his shoulder. The sensation sent a shiver through his body-

_“Oh-”_

…and then Keith started sucking on his collarbone, pressing a little harder with the flat of his tongue, while a now-familiar ache started throbbing in Lance’s abdomen.

_I just needed to know how it would feel._

That was what Keith had said. That was what Lance felt, now. His mind was quiet now that Keith’s mouth was on him again, and all he cared about was getting close. Feeling Keith’s hands on his bare skin. Feeling Keith’s weight pressing down on him. Feeling Keith’s body shudder and shake-

 _“Me, too,”_ Keith whispered before kissing his mouth, his gloved hands pressing hard against Lance’s lower back. They were connected, again. Keith’s affection and desire filled Lance’s mind until there was no room for anything else, so he opened his mouth for Keith’s tongue and felt for the clip that would unfasten the top half of Keith’s armor-

And then he stopped, and stared at Keith’s wide-eyed expression, because the doorbell tone had just sounded in his room.

“Lance? Keith?”

 _“No,”_ Lance whispered, panic rising in his chest.

It was Shiro.

Lance leapt from the bed when Shiro started knocking at the door, his hands pressing against the flat of his stomach, as if he could cover himself up. He was naked except for his thin shorts, and he felt his face burning with shame and frustration. What was he doing? How had he let this happen? How could he risk hurting Keith and Shiro like this? How could he risk losing the two people he adored-?

“Lance.” Keith was standing right in front of him, cradling his face with both hands. “Breathe. It’s going to be okay. You have to trust me.”

Lance made an inarticulate sound, like a stifled sob.

“Do you trust me?” Keith demanded, his voice strong. Commanding.

 _“Yes,”_ Lance whispered.

Keith kissed his forehead, retrieved a shirt from one of his shelves, and helped him pull it over his head. Then he tapped the panel next to the door and let Shiro into the room.

The small space felt even tinier once the three of them were trapped inside it, Shiro’s broad frame doing little to calm Lance’s nerves. Lance stood rigid and still, wondering if he should vomit now to break the tension, or wait until Shiro had started speaking, so he could escape from whatever Shiro was about to say.

But Shiro wasn’t saying anything. He was staring down at his prosthetic arm, moving one finger at a time, the sleek, gray metal reflecting the overhead lights.

“I need to talk to both of you,” he eventually said.

“We’re listening,” Keith told him. “Right, Lance?”

“Uh- uh huh,” Lance stammered, confused. Shiro wasn’t yelling. He didn’t even look angry, or upset. How could that be? What was happening?

“I always thought of myself as an honest person,” Shiro said, after an extended pause. “But I’ve worked so hard to control what comes out of my mouth, there are times when it barely resembles the truth, once I’ve actually put the words together.”

He looked at each of them in turn.

“You’ve both saved my life. You’ve protected me and cared for me, more times than I can count, and I’ve repaid you by keeping my distance. I’m sorry for that.” He flexed his prosthetic fingers, again. “I’m so grateful for you both. For so many reasons.”

“Shiro…” Keith said, stepping closer to him. Shiro looked like he might be close to tears.

“Keith… I was wrong about so many things.”

“Tell me.”

“I- _”_

The overhead lights flashed from soft white to blood red. The screen in Lance’s wall lit up, and Ryner’s face appeared at the center of it.

“Allies,” she said, “report to the meeting room immediately.” She paused, looking weary, like she’d give anything to avoid saying what she was about to say.

“The Galra are approaching our solar system.”


	9. All Three of Us

“How long do we have?” Keith asked Ryner, once everyone had assembled in the meeting room. He was sitting between Shiro and Lance, waiting to be briefed by Ryner and one other high-ranking Olkari leader.

“All four vessels should arrive within the hour,” Ryner said.

“Be advised that one of the four is large enough to house any number of additional craft,” said Tova, the Olkari official who oversaw the planet’s military operations. “We can’t be certain of how many vessels we’ll ultimately need to engage.”

Prior to the Galra occupation of this planet, the Olkari had defined themselves by their peaceful, harmonious culture, relying almost entirely on defensive capabilities to protect Olkarion. But after those defenses had proved so devastatingly insufficient against the Galra onslaught, they had been forced to adjust their mindset. In addition to improved planetary defenses, the Olkari now had a large, highly trained fleet of fighter pilots standing by to execute offensive maneuvers.

Keith knew from an earlier briefing that the Galra had returned to this planet once before, soon after Voltron had disappeared. But even though the Olkari had suffered major casualties (they’d been forced to destroy the teludav that had connected them to the rest of the Voltron Coalition, to keep it from falling into the enemy’s hands), the planet’s improved military capabilities had been successful in defeating the majority of the attacking contingent. The faction that had attacked them had been small and disorganized, though, and given the current, fractured state of the Galra empire, there was no way to predict the outcome of the impending altercation.

“Why now?” Keith asked. “Why do you think they’re coming back?”

“Some of the factions feel that there’s a strategic advantage in moving against planets that were previously conquered,” Tova said. “This faction may have no idea that we’ve improved our military capabilities since the fall of the empire.”

“Or,” Ryner cut in, “they may have reason to suspect that you’re here.”

Keith nodded, processing the implications.

“We propose that concealing your presence here should be our first priority,” Tova said. “If they manage to confirm your location and report back to a larger fleet…”

“Understood,” Keith said. “We have no intention of putting your planet at risk, like that. I think disabling the contingent’s long-range communication capabilities should be a top priority, too, in case we end up needing to form Voltron to protect your people. Ideas?”

“It might be best to send a boarding party to the largest vessel,” Shiro said. “Hopefully your pilots can destroy the smaller ships, but the largest one may be difficult to take down, and it’ll likely be their hub for long-range communication. A boarding party could try to disable communications and take down the ship from the inside.”

“A strategically sound idea,” Tova said, “except our pilots have no experience infiltrating Galra vessels.”

“I can walk them through it,” Shiro said, and Tova nodded his acknowledgement.

“We’ll be on standby inside the lions,” Keith said. “If the fleet gets overwhelmed, or the Galra manage to breach the planet’s defenses, we’ll launch right away. In that case, our objectives will be to disable communications as quickly as possible, and to destroy the entire contingent. We can’t let any ships get away. Agreed?”

He looked around the table at his friends and companions and found everyone nodding their agreement. Lance gave him a determined smile.

“Okay,” Keith said. “Ryner? Tova? Anything else?”

“No,” Ryner said.

“I should go brief the pilots and the ground team right away,” Tova said. Keith nodded.

“Best of luck to everyone. Paladins, report directly to your lions. Dismissed.”

Everyone stood up from the table. Shiro hesitated, then rested a hand on Keith’s shoulder and leaned close to his ear.

“You’ll be incredible,” he said quietly. “Call if you need anything.”

Keith smiled back at him and then watched him walk toward Tova, noticing that he briefly laid a hand on Lance’s back as he passed. Lance watched him for a moment, looking confused, then fell in step with Keith as they exited the room.

 _“He doesn’t seem upset,”_ Lance murmured as Shiro and Tova disappeared from view around a corner. Keith shook his head and let his shoulder brush against Lance’s while they walked toward the elevator.

“He’s not. I told you. Everything’s going to be okay.”

Lance bumped his elbow. “You were great in there, you know.”

“Thanks, Blue.”

“Keith?” Krolia caught up to him as the paladins paused at the elevators. “I think I’m going to follow Shiro and Tova, in case I can be helpful.”

He nodded. “That makes sense.”

“I hope you can stay grounded,” she said. “But if not… be safe.”

“Thanks, Mom. I’ll see you soon.”

She hurried away, and the paladins filed onto the elevator. Keith made sure to speak to everyone individually and found that his teammates seemed energized and optimistic. Even though the process of recharging the lions had left them physically fatigued, the effect had been temporary, and the act of connecting so deeply with the lions, and reconnecting with each other, had bolstered their confidence.

“Do you think we’ll have to launch, Keith?” Hunk asked.

“I think it’s a very real possibility. We can’t let the Olkari fleet get wiped out, trying to protect us.”

“I agree,” Allura said. “I couldn’t stand by and watch that happen.”

“We should have more than enough power to form Voltron if we need to,” Pidge said. “Especially with the black lion at eighty per cent. How did you manage that, anyway? I didn’t think we’d be able to get past seventy-five.”

Keith’s mind spun. _Discreet, not deceptive._

“Lance and I tried it together.”

She nodded. “Like when you helped Shiro with the prosthetic? When you were holding hands?”

Hunk’s eyes went wide, and he stared pointedly between Keith and Lance, but Pidge’s expression was neutral. She wasn’t trying to be intrusive. She was just trying to understand what had happened.

“Yeah,” Keith told her. “I couldn’t do it by myself. I knew Lance would be able to help.”

Lance was smiling to himself, staring down at the floor.

“Hmm.” Pidge looked thoughtful. “I wonder if we could recharge all the lions more efficiently if we all tried it in pairs.”

“Good thinking,” Keith said. “We can try it out as soon as we get some breathing room.”

The elevator door slid open, and they started across the hangar toward the lions.

“Okay,” Keith told them, his voice echoing inside the massive chamber. “I need everyone’s eyes on this fight. Pidge, follow the boarding team closely. We need to learn everything we can from this encounter. Lance and Allura, keep watch over the Olkari fleet, and Hunk, pay special attention to the ground team and the planetary defenses. I’ll need all of you to help me decide if we need to launch. Everyone ready?”

“Yes!”

“Ready!”

“I guess so!”

“Roger that, team leader!”

“Good,” Keith said. “Let’s do what we do best.”

They split off and boarded their individual lions. The black lion came to life immediately, just like Keith had known it would, and he settled into the pilot’s chair and activated the several feeds he’d be monitoring, leading up to and during the battle.

“Kosmo!” he called, and the wolf appeared at his side. “We might have to fight, buddy. You with me?”

The wolf spared him a determined growl, then sat down beside him, staring attentively at the footage unfolding over the feeds.

Keith made contact with Coran, who was sticking close to Ryner to facilitate communication between Olkari leadership and the paladins, as well as Krolia, who was assisting Tova while Shiro briefed the Olkari boarding party. Within fifteen minutes, the Galra ships were approaching the planet, and the Olkari fleet was in the air, and the battle was underway.

Keith watched the feeds as the Olkari fleet split into three groups, seemingly to target each of the smaller ships… and the Galra were fooled by the rouse, too. Two of the groups carried out coordinated strikes on two of the smaller ships, while the third group swarmed into a sort of shield, deflecting the Galra’s initial attacks while the strikes were underway. It was a calculated risk, focusing the entire fleet’s attention on two of the smaller vessels, but it made strategic sense to eliminate manageable targets while the contingent’s capabilities were still being assessed, and that was exactly what happened. The two Galra vessels exploded within a matter of minutes.

The victory came at a cost, though. While the entire Olkari fleet was occupied, the massive Galra cruiser dispatched an energy blast that punched a hole right through the shield surrounding the planet.

“What?!” Pidge shouted over the team channel. “With one hit?!”

“We’re receiving a transmission from the cruiser,” Ryner said. “Broadcasting now on all channels.”

 _“People of Olkarion.”_ The deep, measured voice boomed through the console in Keith’s cockpit. _“No further bloodshed is necessary. We’ve come to propose an exchange. If you allow us access to your engineers and your technology, we will protect you from less charitable rebel factions. If you decline our proposal, we will take your planet by force. Hopefully our demonstration has convinced you that we have the means to do so. The choice is yours.”_

Keith’s mind spun. It was good news that the Galra didn’t seem aware of the paladins’ presence on the planet, but something about the monologue didn’t feel right. He replayed the message over again in his head, trying to figure out what was nagging at him, until understanding clicked into place.

 _It sounds like a bluff,_ he thought.

_You think so?_

Keith looked around himself.

“Shiro?”

Shiro’s face appeared, hovering above his console.

“You think they’re bluffing?”

Keith stared.

_You heard me?_

_Yes. Explain. Quickly._

“Why would they wait to take out the planet’s defenses if they could do it so easily?” Keith said aloud. “Why wouldn’t they just take the planet by force right away, if they could? Why wait for the Olkari to comply if they can just force them to, regardless?” He hesitated. “I could be wrong… but if they’re bluffing, we should proceed with the plan. We should try to disable the cruiser.”

Shiro nodded. “I agree. Stand by.”

Shiro’s face disappeared.

“At least they don’t know we’re here,” Hunk said over the team channel. “That’s good, right?”

“It gives us a fighting chance at staying hidden,” Keith said. “At least until the fleet or the boarding party can disable the cruiser.”

On the satellite feed, Keith could see that a third of the Olkari fleet was swarming over the hole in the planet’s shield, though neither of the remaining Galra vessels were attacking. The smaller Galra ship had retreated to a defensive position close to the cruiser; the window for taking it down quickly had closed.

 _“Galra contingent,”_ Ryner’s voice boomed over the comm. _“If you leave now, we will not pursue. If you proceed with aggressive action, your vessels will be eliminated. The choice is yours.”_

Keith closed his eyes.

_What if I’m wrong?_

_You’re not. Don’t doubt yourself._

The reply was instantaneous: Shiro’s words in his head, challenging and soothing all at once.

 _I didn’t know you were listening,_ Keith told him.

_Do you want me to stop?_

_No._

_I thought we might need each other tonight._

_I always need you, Shiro._

Red and purple lights flashed across Keith’s console. The battle was back on. One-third of the Olkari fleet had attempted to reengage the smallest Galra ship, while another third was firing at strategic points on the cruiser, testing their shield capabilities. The Galra were returning fire, but Olkari casualties seemed to be minimal so far.

“They haven’t used that energy cannon again,” Keith said over the team channel. “I think we might’ve called their bluff.”

“Agreed,” Pidge replied. “I’m looking at the Olkari analysis of the cruiser. I’d bet anything that cannon takes time to charge, and it draws a huge amount of power from the ship’s other systems to fire.”

“Including shields?” Lance asked.

“It’s very likely,” Pidge said.

Shiro’s face appeared above Keith’s console again, and he spoke to the team at large.

“We’ve drawn the same conclusion. If the cruiser’s shields are weak or disabled leading up to that blast, it might give the boarding party an opening.”

“What’s the plan for deflecting the energy beam?” Keith asked.

“The Olkari ships have shields like the one around the planet,” Shiro explained. “That’s why they’re swarming over the opening. They should be able to absorb the blast once, but it’ll likely disable their shields.”

“So they’ll be defenseless after one hit?” Lance asked.

“Don’t worry, Lance,” Shiro said. “They know what they’re doing.”

“They’re preparing to sacrifice their lives for us,” Allura said bitterly.

“They’re defending their planet and their people,” Shiro said.

“Yes, but we could protect them if we formed Voltron-”

“Allura,” Keith interrupted. “I know you want to help. We all do. But you know what’ll happen if they find out we’re here.”

The comm was quiet for a moment, and then Allura said, “I know. I’m sorry. I just can’t stand sitting by when we could be protecting innocent lives.”

“I understand,” Keith told her. “We just have to be patient. Stay focused on the battle. If we can safely launch, we will.”

Keith felt a swell of emotion that didn’t belong to him. _Pride._

“Guys… the cruiser’s power distribution is fluctuating,” Pidge called out. “They could be gearing up for another blast.”

“We’re analyzing the data on the cruiser’s shields…”

Shiro trailed off, and Keith could see why. He watched on a live feed as an entire contingent of single-pilot vessels poured out of the cruiser. There were dozens of them – too many to count – and they broke off into swarming clusters, just like the Olkari pilots had done, and positioned themselves at random intervals around the cruiser-

 _No… not random…_ Keith thought.

“You’re right,” Shiro said over the comm. “They’re protecting the cruiser’s vital systems, preparing for the shields to go down-”

The energy beam erupted from the cruiser’s hull, bombarding the Olkari ships that were protecting the opening in the planet’s shield. They managed to withstand the blast, but Keith could hear over the comm that they’d lost shield capabilities altogether. He watched as the swarm disbanded, the formations of the entire fleet shifting so that ships with intact shields could take their place.

“Keith.”

It was Shiro, on audio only, over a private channel. Keith heard him exhale in a huff; it sounded like he was running.

“Shiro? What are you doing?”

“The boarding party is down. I’m sorry, Keith. I have to get up there.”

“What?! Shiro, no! They’ll recognize you! We might as well just launch right now!”

“No. The Olkari modified my armor to conceal my identity. And I’m taking Krolia with me.”

“It won’t matter what your armor looks like if you’re captured!”

“Keith, I can do this. I _have_ to. There’s no way the Olkari fleet can take down all those fighters _and_ the cruiser. We have to disable their communications so you can launch.”

Keith stared at the light on his console that represented the open channel between them.

This was it. This was Shiro’s worst fear. The reason he had kept his feelings to himself for so long. The reason he had been pushing Keith away.

 _I’ll end up leaving you,_ he’d said. _I’ll end up having to go somewhere that you can’t follow._

This was the reason Shiro wouldn’t allow himself to be loved.

“Tell me you want to come back to me,” Keith said aloud.

“I want to come back to you.”

Keith nodded to himself. Kosmo licked his hand.

“Keep your mind open. I can help you fight.”

“Stand by for launch as soon as we disable the comms. We’ll try to get in before the next cannon blast.”

Keith closed his eyes and bowed his head for a moment, then opened the team voice channel.

“Guys… the boarding party failed. Shiro and Krolia are going up there to take their place.”

He tried to take a calming breath while the channel erupted with protestations, waiting until everyone had voiced their concerns before trying to ease their minds. Shiro was right. This plan made sense. If anyone could take down a Galra cruiser from the inside, it was Shiro and Krolia.

“But what if he gets captured?” Lance demanded, sounding agitated.

“Then we’ll launch right away,” Keith said. “We’ll go get him back, and then we’ll take down the cruiser ourselves.”

“Paladins,” Shiro said, over the comm. He’d just joined the team channel. A video feed appeared above Keith’s dash, showing a launch pad on the roof of the building. “Preparing to launch.”

“Be safe, Shiro,” Lance told him.

The others offered similar words of encouragement, and then they all watched the feed as the ship launched and rocketed through the atmosphere at a dizzying speed. Keith felt lightheaded, not because of the video feed, but because for a moment, he thought he was back inside Lance’s mind, watching old footage of Shiro’s flights, pre-Kerberos. He felt echoes of Lance’s admiration swell inside his chest, and the sensation was unimaginably soothing.

For Keith, learning how deeply Lance felt for Shiro had been like coming home. It was one more thing they shared, one more aspect of closeness that Keith had never imagined he’d be able to find with another person. Something so unique and precious, he knew he could never give it up. And after catching a glimpse of Lance’s secret heart – being _invited into_ his private world – he was more hopeful than ever that they could find a way to make things work.

All three of them.

A panel in his dash lit up.

 

Lance: I can feel you thinking at me

Keith: I’m sorry. I’ll try to take it down a notch.

Lance: No, it’s okay

Lance: It’s comforting

Lance: I care about you, too

 

Keith hesitated, then typed:

 

Keith: Comforting is a good word for it

Keith: I thought it would be a distraction

Keith: Thinking about kissing you and being with you again

Keith: But it’s not. It’s like this soothing hum in the background

Keith: And I don’t want it to stop

 

There was a brief pause.

 

Lance: Neither do I

 

“Approaching the Galra cruiser,” Shiro’s voice said over the comm. Keith shifted his attention back to the feed and saw that Shiro’s ship had joined a small swarm of identical Olkari vessels, which were constantly changing formation to keep the focus off of the boarding party.

“Even if you can get past their shields,” Pidge mused, “how are you going to breach the hull?”

“We’re not,” Shiro said. “We have a tactical engineer with us. He’s going to open one of the bay doors from the outside.”

The comm fell silent again as the massive hull of the cruiser overtook the video feed. A countdown clock had appeared in the corner of the holographic image – most likely thanks to Pidge, Keith guessed – estimating the time remaining until the next cannon blast. There were only forty-five seconds left on the timer.

Keith took a long, slow breath, closed his eyes, and stepped through the doors of Shiro’s mind.

He observed passively at first, taking in the unfamiliar cockpit of the Olkari ship, sensing his mother’s tense posture in the seat beside him, witnessing the brilliance of Shiro’s mastery over the ship’s controls, listening to him speak to the other pilots in the swarm.

He could see Shiro’s plan unfolding before him. They were disguising this maneuver as an attack on one of the Galra swarms that was protecting an essential system – secondary weapons, was Shiro’s guess. It also happened to be near a docking bay that should be close to the engineering hub the three of them needed to find.

The Olkari swarm started taking heavy fire as they closed in on the cruiser, and Keith felt his senses start to sharpen. He hadn’t envisioned taking an active role at this stage – He could only see what Shiro saw, how helpful could he be? – but he quickly realized that, skilled as he was, Shiro could only process a portion of the information that was available to him at any given time. Keith could offer him a broader analysis, so when he saw incoming fire at the very periphery of Shiro’s field of vision, he used Shiro’s hand to _nudge_ the control wheel to the left, avoiding impact by a narrow margin.

Shiro laughed aloud.

“What’s funny?” Krolia asked, alarmed. “That was a close one.”

“Keith can tell you later.”

“Keith?”

 _Thank you,_ Shiro told him.

_I’ve got you, Shiro._

He didn’t answer Krolia – he was concentrating again – and the clock was counting down, with only fifteen seconds left to go-

“Major power fluctuations,” Pidge called over the comm. “The window’s about to open… Come on, Shiro, you’ve got this…”

Shiro and Keith breathed together as one, dodging fire, maintaining position at the center of the swarm, and finally gunning the throttle just at the energy cannon fired, flying across the threshold and inside the perimeter of the cruiser’s shield.

Cheers went up over the team channel, but Keith didn’t join in. He was hit with a wave of regret – Shiro’s regret – and he immediately realized why. The cruiser’s shields were back up. The rest of the Olkari swarm would be trapped inside with the Galra swarms, with no backup, and no way out.

He forced his mind away from the tragic implications and focused on what Shiro was seeing, instead. The other Olkari ships were swarming close to the hull of the cruiser, providing cover, but also masking their true intentions from their enemies. It looked like they were using the shape of the hull as cover while they attacked the nearest Galra swarm – which, of course, they were – but they were also concealing Shiro’s ship as it hovered just outside one of the docking bays.

Keith watched through Shiro’s eyes as the Olkari engineer exited through a hatch, wearing armor and a helmet in a similar color scheme and style to what the Galra typically wore. Keith noticed for the first time that Shiro and Krolia’s armor looked like this, too, and he felt himself relax a little. The armor wouldn’t necessarily disguise them completely at close range, but it could offer effective camouflage.

The engineer used his armor’s thrusters to steer toward the hull of the ship, then laid both of his hands on the outer wall. After an extended pause, a bright glow spread outward from his palms, and the doors to the docking bay opened.

Shiro steered the ship inside and hovered there while the engineer followed, closing the bay door again, restoring artificial gravity to the room. It was blessedly empty, so Shiro and Krolia exited the ship immediately and reported in over the comms.

“We’re in,” Shiro said. “Proceeding to the engineering hub now.”

Another cheer went up over the team channel. Keith allowed himself a small smile this time.

He went on smiling for several more minutes, too, because the boarding party met with no resistance during the first leg of their journey. It seemed as though the Galra weren’t aware that the cruiser had been boarded, which made sense. The tactical engineer hadn’t even had to access the ship’s controls to open the door; he’d just manipulated the material of the hull directly, and evidently it hadn’t triggered an alert.

Keith returned to himself for a moment. He scratched Kosmo’s ears absently while he took stock of the rest of the battle, finding that the Olkari fleet continued to dominate. The swarms had shuffled again so that all remaining pilots with shields were guarding the planet against the next cannon blast, and the third smaller Galra vessel had been completely destroyed, due to the fleet’s creative piloting and powerful weapons. Even the Galra swarms were innocuous in the short term, since they were confined within the cruiser’s shields and therefore unable to attack the Olkari fleet. Still, Keith knew that every single one of those ships needed to be destroyed before they could call this night a victory, and he was itching to get airborne and start the job.

_Keith? Are you with me?_

He closed his eyes again and let himself fall into the cool familiarity of Shiro’s mind.

_Right here, Shiro._

_We’re about to fight. Stay close to me?_

_Always._

The engineer had his hands on the wall next to a set of double doors. Shiro heard them slide open and hung back while Krolia led the assault with an energy rifle. Shiro had a rifle strapped across his back, too, but he knew close combat was his strength, so he left it there for the time being. Krolia took out two Galra soldiers with ease before a third and fourth started returning fire, and she offered Shiro cover so he could attack at close range.

 _Bank left,_ Keith thought. _Roll. Sprint. DODGE RIGHT. DUCK. STRIKE._

Shiro dropped the third soldier while Krolia finally landed a shot on the fourth.

The engineer had closed and sealed the door behind them, and there was no indication that any of the soldiers had managed to raise an alarm. They had time to formulate a plan.

Originally, bringing down the cruiser’s shields had seemed like the safest course of action overall, but since the Galra swarms had emerged, that was no longer a priority. If the shields went down permanently, the swarms could overtake the Olkari fleet and penetrate the planet’s defenses. At this point, the safest course of action would be to destroy the ship from the inside.

Safest, of course, except for the boarding party, who needed to return to their ship and find a way to escape before-

_Keith. It’ll be okay. One step at a time._

_I know. You’re right. I’m sorry._

“Can you take down the ship from here?” Krolia asked Ragos, the engineer, who had his hands on a digital console in the center of the room. In front of them, a giant, transparent sphere containing purple-black energy pulsed and hummed.

“Yes. This is not the only power core. There are two others, one of them on the other side of the ship. I can cause it to overload at any time.”

“How long before the ship explodes, once you’ve started the process?” Shiro asked.

“Less than ten minutes.”

“What about the shield and the energy weapon?”

“I can disable them from here, too, but…” The engineer paused, the console glowing white under his spread fingers. “Long-range communication is an isolated system. I can tell you where it is, but I can’t access it from here.”

Shiro nodded. “We’ll have to split up. You should both stay here. If anything goes wrong, or the battle outside goes south, you’ll have to take down the ship right away.”

He tapped at the panel on his left arm.

“Ryner, we need more time to take down long-range comms over here. How long can you give us?”

“Based on the frequency of those cannon blasts… twenty minutes would be pushing it.”

“Understood.”

“Sending you directions, now,” Ragos told Shiro, tapping at his own panel. A small map appeared on the inside of Shiro’s helmet, pointing the way.

“Keep in touch,” Krolia told him. “Stay safe.”

The engineer unsealed the door, and Shiro set off down the hallway at a cautious jog.

_Any chance you can see behind me?_

Keith smiled to himself, despite the knot of anxiety that had lodged itself in his midsection.

_No such luck. I can only see what you see._

_I’m glad you’re here with me._

_It’s not distracting? Having me poking around in your head?_

_No. It’s comforting. I trust you. I wish I’d figured out how to trust you, sooner._

_I don’t blame you, Shiro._

_I know. I’ll make it up to you, anyway, if I get back._

_WHEN you get back._

_Right. When I get back._

Shiro glanced around a corner and found two sentries patrolling close to the door he needed to get through. This was concerning. He guessed that any number of Galra soldiers could be inside, sharing intel with other vessels or summoning reinforcements. There was no way to know. He moved further away from the sentries and tapped at his communicator.

 _“Ragos?”_ he whispered.

“Acknowledged, Defender,” the engineer said.

_“I think the room I need to get into is occupied. I’m going to try to toss some chemical grenades. I’ll need you to open the door and then seal it back up again on my mark.”_

“I can do that,” Ragos said, “but I can’t manipulate the door directly at this distance. I’ll need to access the ship’s primary systems, and that could trigger a ship-wide alert.”

Shiro thought for a moment, weighing his options, which were few. If they caused the ship to self-destruct before taking down the comms, the Galra would have a full ten-minute window to send transmissions, and if they learned of Voltron’s presence on the planet during that time…

 _“I can’t see a better option,”_ Shiro said. _“Stand by to open the door.”_

“Acknowledged.”

Shiro took a slow breath, listening to the footfalls of the sentries, trying to time his attack.

_Hey. Keith. Guess what._

_What?_

_I’m gonna waste these robot motherfuckers._

Keith laughed out loud in his cockpit.

_I didn’t even know you knew that word._

_Motherfucker?_

_Shiro!_

_What?! I learned how to pilot the same way you did. I grew up on video games and sims. I knew how to talk trash, once upon a time._

_That’s something I’d love to see._

_You’re on, punk._

Shiro peered around the corner, confirmed that the sentries were facing the opposite direction, and exploded into action, pulling Keith right along with him.

_Sprint. Get low. Kick. Swing. DODGE RIGHT. BLOCK. STRIKE._

The two sentries collapsed to the floor with minimal fuss.

_See? Wasted._

_I don’t think I’ll ever get sick of watching you do that._

_I know the feeling._

Shiro picked up one of the incapacitated sentries and positioned himself behind it, standing partially in front of the doorway, removing three small, metallic spheres from a pouch in his belt. He tapped at his communicator.

_“Ragos? Ready?”_

“Ready, Defender.”

_“Open the door!”_

It slid open and Shiro peered inside the room, taking in as many details as he could from his limited vantage point. He guessed there were at least a dozen Galra inside, so the grenades would be necessary. Much to his relief, the room wasn’t huge, so the chemical weapons should prove effective enough. He rolled them onto the floor and told Ragos to seal the door just as the soldiers began turning in his direction. Then he dropped the sentry and flattened himself against the nearby wall, watching for enemies, counting inside his head.

Once thirty seconds had passed, he told Ragos to open the door again, and he slipped inside so Ragos could seal it behind him.

The Galra were sprawled awkwardly on the floor, many of them face down, as if they’d started to crawl toward the door once the grenades had started to take effect. The chemicals lingering in the room would’ve killed Shiro within a minute, if it weren’t for his helmet. He activated his comm and surveyed the massive console in front of him.

“I’m in.”

“Well done, Defender. Your first priority should be severing the console from the power source.”

There was a transparent sphere in this room, too, much smaller than the main power core he’d seen a few minutes earlier. He guessed that it must behave like a hub, routing power from the primary cores to peripheral systems. He pulled his energy rifle from his back and fired a blast directly at it, and the sphere shattered, dispersing the purple-black energy in a small shockwave that made him stagger.

“Excellent,” Ragos told him. “Now destroy the hardware for good measure.”

“…The whole console?”

“If you can.”

“Suggestions?”

“Um…” There was a ripple in the engineer’s calm, even speaking pattern. “Try shooting at it until it explodes?”

Shiro grinned.

 

* * *

 

Once the console was sufficiently annihilated, Shiro confirmed with Ragos that the ship’s long-range communications were irreparably damaged. Short-range communications would remain intact, though, and there was nothing to be done about it. The cruiser would be able to stay in contact with the smaller vessels until it was destroyed, and time was ticking by. Ryner gave the order, and Ragos dropped the cruiser’s shield, disabled the energy cannon, and initiated a chain reaction that would destroy the ship in under ten minutes.

Outside the cruiser, the Olkari fleet was engaging with the Galra swarms.

Inside the cruiser, Shiro was running.

 _Be careful,_ Keith told him. _You have time. You can make it._

He barely slowed as he rounded a corner, pelting down the next corridor at an increasingly reckless pace.

_I have to get back. I have to get back._

_You have to slow down! The Galra will be everywhere-_

Shiro practically collided with a group of Galra soldiers as he rounded another corner, and Keith took a slow breath, sinking into the sequence of movement that was his only hope of survival.

_Roll to the left. Kick. Bash with your shield. Disarm. TWO BEHIND YOU. DROP! SWING!_

_RUN!_

Shiro ran.

Keith felt the ache in his own legs and the burn in his own lungs. He felt the full force of Shiro’s singular focus:

_I’m coming back to you._

And then he felt time stretch in a moment of sickening weightlessness as Shiro was struck in the back and sent sprawling to the ground.

_NO!_

_Keith-_

“SHIRO! GET UP!”

The team voice channel buzzed with confused commentary.

“Keith?”

“What happened?”

“What’s wrong?”

“Where’s Shiro?”

He was lying face down on the ground, held in place by some invisible force. He struggled against it and failed to move an inch, his limbs impossibly heavy, his neck burning with the futile effort of trying to lift his head. He tried to growl against his unseen bonds and found that even breathing was beyond him, and the sound erupted from Keith’s throat instead.

“YOU HAVE TO GET UP!”

Someone was securing Shiro’s arms behind his back, then hauling him to his feet, then removing his helmet-

“Sir,” a Galra soldier said. “He’s not Olkari.”

“No,” his compatriot agreed. “He’s human.” He smiled viciously, raising the butt of his rifle until it was level with Shiro’s head. “He’s a paladin of Voltron.”

Shiro closed his eyes – _I’m sorry_ – and then his mind fell silent.

“PALADINS! LAUNCH!” Keith yelled over the comm, gunning the throttle, urging his lion forward with fury and determination. His teammates followed him, demanding an explanation.

“Keith!” Lance’s voice rose above the others’. “Talk to us, Red! What happened?”

“Shiro’s been captured,” Keith growled, while Kosmo bristled with furious energy at his side. “They know we’re here. We need to take down every last one of those ships up there.”

He added the boarding party to the team channel while they exited the building and launched toward the upper atmosphere.

“Krolia?”

“Keith?” Her voice was strained. She sounded out of breath.

“They got Shiro. He’s unconscious, or…” Keith bit down on his lower lip so hard that it bled. “He’s not going to make the rendezvous.”

“We just made it back to our ship. We’ll wait as long as we can…”

Keith swallowed, tasting iron.

“Make sure you leave enough time to clear the blast radius.”

“Acknowledged. Stay safe.”

“Keith?” Allura prodded, sounding hesitant. “How do you know what happened to Shiro?”

“I saw it,” he said. He was out of excuses. He was almost out of time. “I can see what Shiro sees. And we have less than six minutes to get him back before that cruiser explodes. Suggestions?”

“Do you know where he is?” Hunk asked. “We could try to breach the hull…”

Keith gritted his teeth. “No… I don’t know, exactly.”

“We need to focus on taking down the ships first, anyway,” Pidge said, emotion clinging to the edges of her voice. “If we have time leftover…”

Keith took a breath.

 _One step at a time,_ he told himself.

“I think we’ll have a better shot at corralling the swarms if we fight individually instead of forming Voltron,” he said.

The rest of the team voiced their agreement. They rocketed through the hole in the planet’s shield and finally engaged the Galra.

The Olkari fleet had been holding their own against the swarms, even without their shields, and the lions scattered to every corner of the battlespace to aid their weary allies. The blackness of the sky was eclipsed by the flash and flurry of energy weapon discharge, and within two minutes, the Galra fighters were all but wiped out.

“Keith,” Krolia called over the comm. “He hasn’t come back yet…”

“Get out of there,” he told her. “We’ll figure something out.”

 _There’s time,_ he thought, even as explosions started to bloom along the hull of the cruiser. _There has to be enough time-_

“Keith!” Pidge yelled over the comm. “Another ship just launched from the cruiser, moving fast away from the planet!”

“I’m on it,” he said, gunning the throttle toward the speeding vessel, preparing to attack as soon as he was in range.

Preparing for the possibility that Shiro might be on board.

There was no way to know.

_Shiro... Wake up…_

“How is that ship moving so fast?” Hunk asked. “None of the other ships could move like that…”

“I’m reading weird power fluctuations in their propulsion system…” Pidge muttered. “Keith, you’re gonna have to gun it to catch them!”

“Got it,” he said. “Make sure you leave yourselves time to-”

_Keith?_

Keith’s eyes went wide.

_Shiro? Where are you?_

There was no answer. Had he imagined it? Or was Shiro drifting back toward consciousness?

He tried to focus on the flavor of Shiro’s mind, but he couldn’t catch it.

He went searching for bronze and gold instead, and pulled Lance’s mind to himself with force and fury.

_Blue. I heard Shiro. You have to help me find him._

_Like before?_

_Yes._

They focused together – their minds, their memories – until something shimmered in the periphery…

Dark walls with no windows. Explosions in the distance.

 _He’s still on the cruiser,_ they told each other.

 _SEND KOSMO TO ME!_ Lance screamed inside Keith’s mind. _RIGHT NOW!_

“Go to Lance!” Keith shouted, and Kosmo disappeared in a flash of light while Keith surged toward the fleeing vessel, ripping his mind apart at the seams to leave a piece of himself behind.

He was closing in on the enemy ship.

He was living and breathing inside Lance’s mind.

He was opening his jaws, preparing to bite.

He was flashing through space toward the light in the dark that was Shiro.

_You can’t protect me and lead the rest of the team._

“WATCH ME,” he yelled, as he snatched the ship from the air like a leaf from the wind and tore it to wreckage and fire.

Behind him, the Galra cruiser exploded.

“BLUE,” he yelled over the comm, because he’d lost the connection to Lance’s mind.

He drifted in silence.

He drifted in the dark.

And then Lance came back to him – warmth in his chest, fire in his mind – and he said,

“I have him, Red. I have Shiro.”

 

* * *

 

Keith was there when Shiro opened his eyes.

His fingers ached from squeezing Shiro’s hand. His shoulders ached from holding his posture, stiff as a board at Shiro’s bedside in the observation room. When he’d lost count of the hours he’d been awake, he’d started counting his breaths instead, one hundred at a time while he stared down at Shiro’s hand, waiting for him to squeeze back.

And eventually, he did.

“Keith?”

He opened his mouth to speak, but it was scratchy and dry, and the sound got caught in his throat. He cleared it.

“Rest,” he said. “You had a concussion. Callos accelerated the healing, but you’ll be tired, and-”

“Keith.” Shiro squeezed his hand again. “What happened?”

He closed his eyes and opened his mind like a book for Shiro to read. He opened his eyes again when he felt Shiro’s fingertips on his cheek.

“Where’s Lance?”

“I made him go to bed. He wanted to stay.”

Shiro nodded. He pushed himself fully upright, then cradled Keith’s cheek with his hand again, and Keith exhaled, leaning into the pressure.

“I’m sorry I made you wait,” Shiro said. “I should’ve told you a long time ago.” He swallowed, searching Keith’s eyes. “I’ve loved you every second, since you rescued me on Earth. Every single second.”

Keith knew this, of course, but _knowing_ and _being told_ are two very different things.

He closed his eyes and stopped his breath, overtaken by what he felt – by what Shiro was _letting_ him feel. The room was silent, but the inside of his mind was a swirling rush of color and sound, and he let himself be held inside Shiro’s memories and impressions – inside the carefully-guarded collection of moments that had bound them together. Keith’s face, hovering over him, his salvation in moments of despair. Keith’s body in motion, so quick and strong, vibrating with purpose and intention. Keith’s voice, calling his name.

Keith’s mouth, so close to his skin, never close enough.

Keith’s hands on his body, hesitant, unsure, and then gone too soon.

Keith’s footsteps echoing in empty halls, walking away from him – always walking away – when all Shiro wanted was to beg him to stay.

 _“I love you, too,”_ Keith whispered, just before Shiro’s lips pressed against his own.

The swirl of emotion slowed a bit as they learned how to kiss each other. Shiro was impossibly gentle, his movements small and restrained, and Keith fought to match him, trading desperation for calm and stillness, begging the moment to stretch. Shiro’s lips were softer than he’d imagined, though his hand was strong and warm, cradling the back of his head. His warm breath against Keith’s face was a comfort unlike anything Keith had ever known. Shiro was _right here,_ and he was kissing Keith’s mouth like it was the only thing keeping him alive.

Eventually, they opened their eyes, and Shiro looked over Keith’s shoulder, and said, “Lance.”

Keith spun in his seat and found Lance in the doorway, holding a backpack and a pillow. There were tears on his cheeks.

“I brought some food…” He stopped, then started again, his voice small and far away. “I’m glad you’re okay, Shiro.”

He set the backpack and the pillow down next to the wall and left.

Keith sprinted after him.

“Lance, wait-”

He didn’t stop. Keith caught up to him a few feet down the hallway and took hold of his arm, but Lance slipped out of his hold.

“Please don’t, Keith.” He kept on walking.

“Just come back and talk to us,” Keith begged. “I need to explain-”

“No. You don’t. You need to go be with Shiro.”

“But-”

“Keith.” Lance finally stopped and met his eye, his voice pleading, on the edge of breaking. “I can’t do this. Please let me go.”

Keith did. He stood rooted to the spot, tears spilling onto his cheeks while Lance walked away from him.

 

* * *

 

Lance didn’t stop until he reached the simulation room. He tapped at the panel in the wall until the ocean appeared in the distance, and then he walked toward it, trying to summon the memory of the smell of sea water and sand. It eluded him, though. Maybe he’d forgotten it. Maybe he’d never remember.

He sat down on the hard surface of the floor, hugged his knees to his chest, and let himself sob.

He was still wiping the tears from his cheeks when Shiro came through the door behind him.

“Lance?”

He didn’t move. He rested his chin on his knees and stared at the waves that weren’t really there.

“Lance.”

Shiro sat down next to him, close enough that if he leaned slightly to the right, their shoulders would touch.

He didn’t.

“Listen… I shouldn’t have kissed Keith like that without talking to you first,” Shiro said. “I’m sorry. I thought… I thought you could _feel_ …”

He leaned into Lance’s field of vision, and Lance met his eye, trying to process what he was saying.

“Your head,” Lance said dumbly. “It was bleeding so much…”

Shiro nodded. “It’s better. Because of you. Because you brought me back. You saved my life, Lance. I don’t know how to thank you, but I’d really like to try.”

Lance sniffled a little. “Shouldn’t you be with Keith?”

“Yes. And so should you.”

Lance blinked. “I don’t understand.”

Shiro tilted his head to one side, thinking.

“What Keith and I have is complicated. I’ve played a lot of different roles in his life. I gave him stability, once, but that was such a long time ago. His impressions of me are all tangled up with loss. Grief. Violence.” He shook his head. “I want better than that, for him. Do you know what he thinks about, when he’s thinking of you?”

Lance shook his head.

“Sunlight. The wind on the water.” Shiro smiled. “Laughing. He thinks about how you laugh together.” He rested his hand on Lance’s arm, just for a moment.

“But he loves you,” Lance said, feeling strangely calm, almost hypnotized by Shiro’s voice. Or was it the way Shiro was making him feel? “I can’t get in the way of that.”

“You’re not. You figured out how to be there for him, when I couldn’t. You made him _happy_ , for the first time in as long as I can remember. You saw what he was like, today, during the battle, right? He was spectacular, and it was all because of you. He needs you.”

Lance stared at him, afraid to hope, but starting to, anyway.

“He needs you, too.”

Shiro nodded. “I know. So I thought… maybe we could try to love him together.”

Lance was having trouble finding his breath.

“Both of us?”

“All three of us.”

He blinked.

“You and me, too?”

“Yes. If that’s what you want.” Shiro was watching him, waiting patiently.

“But… you don’t feel the same way about me as you do about Keith. I know you don’t.”

“No. But I _do_ feel for you.” Shiro reached up and brushed a stray wave of Lance’s hair back from his forehead. “I respect you. I value you. I’d protect you with my life.”

Lance’s eyes were wide. He was dizzy, breathing shallow.

“Shiro…”

“Can I kiss you?”

Lance’s mouth fell open.

“Did… did Keith say it was okay?”

“Yes.” Shiro’s fingertips were under his chin.

“Oh.” Lance gave a tiny nod. “Then… yes.”

Shiro leaned forward and pressed their lips together, softly, for the span of a breath. Lance kept his eyes closed for a moment after he’d pulled away.

 _“Wow,”_ he breathed, opening his eyes again. Shiro nodded.

“Wow.”

Lance licked his lips, feeling disoriented. “Where’s Keith?”

“Waiting outside. Should I tell him to come in?”

“Yeah.”

Shiro tapped at his wrist communicator.

“Come on in, Keith.”

The door slid open and Keith stepped inside. Lance stood up, turned, walked, and then ran in his direction. They caught each other in a fierce hug.

 _“Blue,”_ Keith murmured, close to his ear. _“I told you it would be okay. I told you I’d take care of you.”_

Lance nodded and hugged him even tighter, pressing his face against his hair, breathing deeply. They held on for a long moment, and then they kissed each other like they’d been drowning, like they were helping each other breathe.

When they finally broke apart, they hugged each other again.

“Shiro?” Lance called. He couldn’t see him, but he could tell he was nearby. “Come here?”

He felt Shiro’s hands on his waist for a moment, light and hesitant, holding him from behind. He felt Shiro’s lips press against his cheek. And then Shiro was holding both of them inside the circle of his arms.

“Guys,” Keith mumbled.

“Mm?”

“Uh huh?”

He sagged a little in their arms.

“I know we need to talk. I know we have to decide some things. But I think I need to sleep, first.”

Shiro moved to Keith’s side and slid an arm around his back.

“We can walk you back to your quarters.”

Keith shook his head. “The three of us won’t fit in my bunk.”

Lance watched the realization play out in Shiro’s expression. He was being so careful, so hesitant. This person was so unlike the pilot, the paladin, the leader that Lance remembered.

This person was so wonderfully _human._

“Okay,” Shiro said, after a pause. “I think I have a solution.”

He made sure Keith was steady in Lance’s arms, then went to the panel in the wall and tapped at it several times. The studio and the ocean were replaced by a room that very closely resembled a set of quarters from the Garrison. There was a small kitchen and sitting area, and a large bed along one wall, surrounded by shelves. It was generic, but comfortingly familiar.

“I had Pidge program this for me early on,” Shiro explained. “I was on Earth for such a short time after I escaped from the Galra… I never got to go home, or anything…” He shook his head. “I only slept here once. It didn’t really feel right, back then, but maybe it will if you’re both here.”

Keith picked up Shiro's hand, held onto Lance’s arm, and steered the three of them toward the bed. Then he climbed onto the center of it, pushed down the covers, and looked at them expectantly. Lance didn’t hesitate; he climbed onto the left side of the bed and sat down next to Keith. Shiro watched them for a moment, and then said,

“Are you sure-?”

“Yes,” Keith interrupted. “You’re out of your mind if you think I’m letting either of you out of my sight.”

“Stay with us, Shiro,” Lance told him.

He nodded, then moved around to the right side of the bed and climbed in carefully.

Keith and Lance laid down facing one another, holding hands, and Shiro curled himself around Keith’s body, leaving a little space between them, resting his hand lightly on Keith’s hip.

“Dim lights!” he called toward the ceiling, and the simulated lights dimmed to a warm, amber glow.

 _“Don’t leave without telling me,”_ Keith mumbled, his eyes already closed. _“I don’t want to wake up and find you gone.”_

“I’m not going anywhere,” Lance told him. He kissed the back of his hand.

“I’ll be here, Keith,” Shiro said. He kissed the top of his head.

Keith didn’t move again. He was already asleep.

 _“Shiro?”_ Lance whispered, after several moments of silence.

Shiro propped himself up and peered at him over Keith’s shoulder, smiling.

_“Hey.”_

_“Hey.”_ Lance smiled back at him, then said, _“So… I have nightmares too, sometimes.”_

Lance had learned a lot about Shiro when their minds had been connected. The information had come to him in jumbled flashes, though, and he was still parsing through it all.

 _“I know Keith’s really tired,”_ he went on, _“but I feel okay, so if you needed someone to talk to… you could wake me up.”_

Shiro sat up, leaned over Keith, and pressed his lips against Lance’s forehead.

_“I’m really glad you’re here, Lance.”_

Lance sat up, too, searching Shiro’s eyes in the dim light. He reached up and ran his fingers lightly through Shiro’s hair.

 _“Soft,”_ he said.

Shiro did the same, tucking some of the longer strands of Lance’s hair behind his ear.

_“Yours, too.”_

They kissed each other lightly, Shiro’s hand on Lance’s cheek, Lance’s hand holding it there. Lance sighed against Shiro’s lips, wondering if he should bother trying to sleep, thinking he must already be dreaming. And when he eventually laid down and closed his eyes, Keith’s breath was on his lips, and Shiro’s voice was in his head, and he felt more at home in this unfamiliar bed than he ever had at Varadero Beach.

 


	10. Time to Be Human

Lance woke up with Keith’s fingers in his hair.

He opened his eyes and found Keith there, an inch away, smiling.

_“Hey, Blue.”_

He blinked, slipping into wakefulness, then stared, taking in the details of the person – _people –_ he’d spent the last several hours sleeping next to. Shiro’s arm was wrapped around Keith’s chest, his hair just visible behind Keith’s head, looking almost bronze in the still-dim light of the room.

Lance swallowed. Shiro’s fingers were grasping at the fabric of Keith’s shirt. It made Lance want to grasp at Keith’s clothing, too.

_“Hey, Red.”_

Keith’s thumb was resting on his temple, close to his eye, while he smoothed at Lance’s unruly waves.

_“I don’t think I did a good job of apologizing, before. I’m so sorry I hurt you.”_

_“I know. I can feel it.”_ Lance paused for a beat. _“I can’t hear what you’re thinking, though.”_

_“Yeah. Shiro and I talked for a while, before he came to find you. I thought we should try to take a break from the mind-reading while we all figure things out. Give each other a chance to react and process, you know? And I wanted you to have some time alone with him, without me listening in.”_

Lance nodded. _“I really don’t want you to feel bad about anything. I knew what I was getting into when we started hanging out. If you’d decided you only wanted to be with Shiro… I would’ve been really sad, but I would’ve forgiven you, you know? I meant everything I said, before.”_

Keith traced one of his eyebrows with his thumb.

_“So… this feels okay? All of us, together? I mean, it’s not hurting you, is it?”_

_“No. Not so far.”_

He took a breath, looking relieved. _“Tell me if it does, okay? I need this to work for you. I need you to be happy.”_

Lance nodded. _“I need you to be happy, too.”_

He reached for a handful of Keith’s shirt, close to the hem, finally giving in to the urge.

 _“I kissed Shiro last night,”_ he said. _“While you were sleeping. Just for a minute.”_

Keith’s eyes lit up. _“How was it?”_

Lance slid his thumb along the smooth skin of Keith’s belly.

_“You don’t feel weird about it?”_

_“No. Do you?”_

_“No. It was… light. I liked it.”_

_“Will you show me when he wakes up?”_

Lance felt an ache start to bloom below his belly, imagining Keith’s eyes on him while he kissed Shiro’s mouth, or put his hands on Shiro’s body… He nodded slowly, tracing along the waistband of Keith’s pants with the pad of his thumb.

_“Keith…”_

_“Mm?”_

He had told himself he wouldn’t say it, but once the words were in his mouth, he had to let them out.

_“I think I love you.”_

Keith nodded. _“I think I love you, too.”_

_“I was going to wait… I thought it might be too soon…”_

_“After everything we’ve been through?”_ Keith had his hand around the back of Lance’s head, now. _“I don’t want to wait, Blue.”_

Lance pressed closer to him. _“Then don’t.”_

Keith smiled, his eyelids fluttering. He pulled Lance’s face closer and licked his bottom lip with the tip of his tongue, and Lance exhaled, letting his eyes fall shut for a moment. Keith licked him again, and then once more, before kissing his mouth in earnest, his fingertips traveling slowly down the center of Lance’s chest until they reached the hem of his shirt. He slipped his hand underneath it, slid it around to Lance’s hip, and _squeezed_ , and Lance felt himself go rigid while Keith’s tongue explored the inside of his mouth, thinking about where else it might travel to-

_“Mhh-”_

That was Keith, moaning against Lance’s mouth. Lance opened his eyes and found Shiro there, pressing his lips against the back of Keith’s neck. Shiro lifted his head, met Lance’s eye, and whispered, “ _Is this okay?”_

Lance nodded, still kissing Keith’s lips, and Shiro smiled, then held his gaze as he pressed a handful of kisses into Keith’s hair, holding tight to his chest.

_Yes, it’s okay. Oh, God, it’s okay._

Lance wanted to keep his eyes open – he wanted to keep watching – but Keith had his lower lip between his teeth, and his eyelids fell closed of their own accord while Keith _pulled-_

_“Nnh-”_

His heart rate was climbing. His cock was pulsing against the fabric of his shorts. He moved his hand from Keith’s shirt to Shiro’s forearm, sliding it upward, pressing his fingertips into the hard muscle of his upper arm. He felt a loss of contact as Keith pulled back from him and looked down, following the angle of Lance’s arm with his eyes, resting momentarily on Lance’s hand, touching Shiro…

Keith grinned. He tipped his head back and whispered something close to Shiro’s ear, and Shiro nodded, pulling his arm back from Keith’s chest. Keith turned back toward Lance, flashed him a smile, and then rolled fully on top of him, knees planted firmly on either side of his hips. Lance barely had time to register the sweet relief of pressure on his cock before Keith’s tongue was in his mouth again, stopping his breath. He was dizzy, he was grabbing at Keith’s hips and _pressing_ up against him-

Keith stopped. He stared down at Lance, flushed and wild-eyed and perfect.

_“Hang on, Blue.”_

He looped one arm under Lance’s shoulder and one leg around his hip, and then _rolled_ him all the way over, wedging the side of Lance’s body against Shiro’s chest.

 _“Holyfuckingshit-”_ Lance mumbled, eyelids fluttering as Keith slipped a hand under his shirt, sliding it up toward his chest.

 _“Lance.”_ Shiro’s voice was a low murmur. His face was so close. His fingers were under Lance’s chin. _“I don’t have to stay. You can be alone with Keith-”_

 _“Stay,”_ Lance breathed. His fingers were in Keith’s hair. _“Please stay.”_

Shiro nodded, smiling, then kissed his lips, so softly that the twilight shimmered behind Lance’s closed eyelids. Keith was kissing him, too – his mouth was traveling down the center of his chest – and there was nothing soft about it.

Shiro was a gentle breeze.

Keith was a storm.

The contrast set Lance’s mind spinning, as it struggled to catch up with what was happening to his body. There was just so much _sensation_ : Keith’s tongue, tracing the crease of his hip; Shiro’s lips, feather-light against his own; Keith’s hair, smooth and soft between his fingers; Shiro’s hand, warm and strong, cradling his face. He couldn’t begin to process it all, and it didn’t matter.

Heaven was real, and this was it.

He had vaguely examined the notion of group sex before, but his casual musings hadn’t prepared him, even remotely, for this reality. He was being kissed – _touched_ – by two people he adored. Two people who cared about him, too. Two people who _knew_ him, better than anyone else in the world.

_And they still want me._

_They know me, and they want me, still-_

_“Mmh-”_

He moaned against Shiro’s mouth, feeling pressure against his cock again. It was Keith’s tongue, pressing against him through his pants and shorts; he could tell because his fingers were still tangled in Keith’s hair, because he could feel the movement of Keith’s head as he mouthed and nuzzled and _pressed_. And then he was weightless – his legs were over Keith’s shoulders, Keith was holding him off the bed – and before he’d had time to process the shift, he was naked from the waist down, sprawled on the bed again with Keith’s face pressed against his inner thigh.

“Blue?”

He looked down at Keith’s face, at the way Keith’s hair was spilling onto his bare skin.

“You… you smell _so good_ ,” Keith said, nosing at the inside of his thigh. “Like… you smell _incredible._ ”

“I do?”

“Uh huh… it’s like…” He pressed his nose and his mouth against Lance’s skin. “…I’m not sure what, but… fuck. Can I… uhm…”

“Keith… you can do anything you want. _Anything._ ”

Keith exhaled – Lance felt the heat of his breath – and then he pressed his mouth against Lance’s inner thigh, bit down, and sucked.

 _“Mmhah!”_ Lance moaned, clamping his hand over his own mouth a second too late, startled by the loudness of his own voice. Shiro took hold of his wrist, gently, looking concerned.

_“Are you okay?”_

Lance nodded, whimpering against his palm while Keith’s tongue moved further up his thigh.

 _“No one can hear us in here.”_ Shiro’s voice was soft. Soothing. _“You don’t have to cover your mouth.”_

Lance nodded again, relaxing his hand.

_“I know, it’s just… safer.”_

_“Oh…”_ Shiro nodded slowly. _“Can I try something?”_

 _“Mhm…”_ Lance mumbled, struggling to keep his eyes open while Keith mouthed even further toward the crease of his inner thigh. Shiro propped himself up, then helped Lance sit up a little, too. He slid his prosthetic arm around Lance’s back, holding firmly to his opposite side, then rested his other arm across his chest. Lance exhaled and pressed against him, letting himself be held, leaning the side of his head against Shiro’s neck.

 _“Is this warm enough?”_ Shiro asked, stroking Lance’s side with his artificial fingertips.

Lance shivered. It _did_ feel warm, and surprisingly soft.

 _“Warmer?”_ he asked.

The sensation intensified until it was just shy of _hot_ , and Lance shivered again – from his shoulders to his toes – though he wasn’t sure if it was because of the way Shiro’s hand was pressing under his ribcage, or because Keith had just taken hold of his cock and _stroked-_

_“Mmh-”_

He tilted his head toward Shiro and pressed his face against his neck, and Shiro tightened his arms around him, brushing his lips against his forehead.

 _“Is this tight enough?”_ he murmured. Lance shook his head.

_“Tighter?”_

Shiro _squeezed_ , and Lance saw a splash of color behind his closed eyelids-

_“Mh- Ahh-”_

Keith’s tongue was circling the head of his weeping, throbbing cock-

 _“Lance…”_ Shiro’s voice was barely a whisper. _“You brought me back. You saved my life.”_

_“Ngh-”_

Keith was pulling him deep, toward the back of his throat.

_“You’re so strong.”_

_“Nnh hah-”_

_“And you’re safe. We’ll keep you safe.”_

_“Mmh hahh AH-”_

Lance pressed his open mouth against Shiro’s neck, gripping at Keith’s hair while his hips started to tense, whimpering while Keith sucked _hard_ on his head and then pulled him deep again-

 _“Oh, God, Lance…”_ Shiro murmured against his forehead, and Lance was utterly lost, spilling over inside Keith’s mouth, clutching at Keith’s hair and Shiro’s shirt, secure inside the circle of Shiro’s arms.

 

* * *

 

For Shiro, it had started as a subtle warmth, like sunlight filtered through a pane of glass. Keith had been speeding away from the city with Lance by his side, free and euphoric, and Shiro had caught a taste of it, though he hadn’t known why at the time. While Keith had been floating on his back in the shimmering lake, Shiro had felt the sun on his face, too. And later, when Keith had laid down on the floor next to Lance, Shiro had dreamed that he wasn’t alone in his bunk, and he’d woken up with the memory of holding tight to someone’s hand.

More hints followed, after that. His heart rate had quickened while Keith was kissing Lance in the game room, and the giddy excitement had amplified when they’d walked into breakfast together, still tousled and flushed from being tangled up in each other. Shiro had asked Keith to train with him, not to keep them apart, but to confirm what he’d suspected. To catch a glimpse of the growing closeness between them. He’d been preparing himself to finally let Keith go, expecting Keith to be pulling away from him… but that wasn’t what he’d found, when their minds had connected again. Keith didn’t need to push Shiro away to make room for Lance. There had already been room for both of them in his heart.

Still, what did Shiro have to offer? Keith had been ready to start building a life together, and Shiro had turned him away. He’d asked Keith to hold the fate of the universe on his shoulders, and then deprived him of the support and comfort he so desperately needed to carry the burden. And then, within the span of a day, Lance had done what Shiro had so utterly failed to do. He’d lifted Keith up, brought joy into his life. He’d given Keith something to fight for.

Shiro had been grateful.

Shiro had been devastated.

All of his excuses had suddenly seemed so senseless. How had he ever expected Keith to ignore what he knew? What he _felt_ , so deeply? How had he expected Keith to go on walking through life alone? How had he managed to so thoroughly wound the person he loved most in this world?

How could he ever make it right, when he felt so fractured inside? So helpless? So utterly unlovable?

He hadn’t been surprised when the Olkari prosthetic had failed to integrate with his consciousness. Of _course_ it had failed. He barely had a hold on this body, on this plane of existence. Every moment, he felt that he was on the verge of slipping away. There were times when he felt that Keith was the only thing anchoring his soul in place, and that if Keith looked away from him for too long, he’d fade right out of existence.

Except Keith hadn’t looked away. Keith had come for him again in the simulation room, reaching across the vastness of the astral plane, anchoring him when he needed it the most. And he hadn’t come alone, this time. Lance had been there, too.

Lance, who had noticed Keith’s spark and grabbed onto it with both hands.

Lance, who was ready and willing to fight for Keith’s happiness, even if it meant sacrificing his own.

Lance, who was desperate to belong to someone.

Lance, who had wondered, once upon a time, what it might be like to belong to Shiro.

Shiro had felt all of it perfectly when Lance had grabbed his hand: the depth of his respect, the sincerity of his affection, the physical attraction he’d vowed to ignore. And running alongside all this, like a divergent path leading to the same destination, was his love for Keith: new, but _real_ , and precious.

Shiro had physically _felt_ the affection they had for one another, and he’d found himself straining towards it, then examining it – flipping through it like a photo album of someone else’s favorite memories. He knew what Lance’s hair looked like after a night of restless sleep. He knew what Keith’s mouth had tasted like the first time they’d kissed, and every time after that. He knew what Lance sounded like when he came, and he knew what it was like to drift off to sleep, lying naked in his arms.

Once he’d felt the brilliance of what was happening between them, he found that all he wanted to do was share it, and help it to grow. And the spectacular beauty of finally, desperately _wanting_ something had brought him back to himself.

Keith and Lance had brought him back to himself, over and over again. He had put his arms around them both, and suddenly, he’d been able to see himself as the missing piece Keith kept telling him he was. They had both left a space for him to step into; he just needed to be brave enough to do it.

It was time to stop running.

It was time to start healing.

It was time to be human again.

 

* * *

 

 _“Lance.”_ Shiro pressed his lips against his forehead. _“Are you okay?”_

 _“Uh huh,”_ Lance mumbled, his cheek still pressed against Shiro’s neck. He’d been shuddering with aftershocks a moment ago, but he was still, now, his breathing starting to normalize. He finally lifted his head and met Shiro’s eye, and then they kissed each other, lightly, their lips just barely brushing together.

“Shiro?”

“Mm?”

“Is it okay if I kiss Keith, now?”

Shiro smiled. “You don’t have to ask. You can kiss Keith whenever you want. I want you to. I promise.”

Lance hugged him. _“I’m really glad you’re here.”_

Shiro closed his eyes, breathing in the smell of his skin. _“So am I.”_

He meant it.

They held on for a long moment, and then Lance rolled over and found Keith stretched out next to him. Shiro watched them kiss each other, trying to control his breathing, finding their heated enthusiasm intensely erotic. Focusing his attention on Lance had felt purposeful and safe, but watching Keith and Lance get tangled up together felt… dangerous.

He caught himself rolling his hips a little and grasped his own wrist with his prosthetic hand, _squeezing_ , trying to calm the arousal.

“Can I?” Lance was asking Keith. His hand was pressed against the bulge in Keith’s pants.

Keith’s face reddened all over again.

“Uh, actually… I came already. While I was going down on you.”

Lance paused. “Seriously?”

“Yeah. I looked up and saw you guys, and…”

Keith trailed off, because Lance was sliding down his body, pulling his pants down from his hips, taking hold of his half-hard cock.

“And…” Keith mumbled. “You were so… _ahh-_ ”

Lance was slowly licking him clean. Shiro’s breath caught, and he forced his eyes away from the sight of Lance’s tongue sliding over Keith’s semi-erect cock. He looked at Keith’s face instead and found himself in equally dangerous territory; Keith’s cheeks were flushed, his dark hair spilling messily over the pillow he was resting on. His back was arching off of the mattress a little, and one of his hands was grasping at Lance’s hair, while the other was sliding across the bed, moving in Shiro’s direction.

Shiro squeezed his own wrist until it hurt.

 _“Fuck… Lance…”_ Keith murmured, fully hard again, now, squirming against the mattress while Lance pulled the head of his cock into his mouth.

Shiro was staring again. He knew that Lance was new at this – Keith was, too – and it was captivating, watching Lance experiment, moving slow, taking his time to gauge Keith’s responses. He didn’t seem to be lacking in confidence, which was hard for Shiro to believe, since his own heart was threatening to hammer its way out of his chest. Sex had been a distant memory for him a few minutes ago, practically a myth at this point, and yet Lance and Keith had fallen into this dynamic effortlessly, like their bodies had been made for it.

Shiro’s body hadn’t been, though. It had been made for something else.

_“Shiro?”_

Keith was reaching for him now, practically _begging_ , and Shiro forced himself to focus, trying to figure out how to participate safely in this scenario. Holding Lance had felt good – _oh, so good_ – but he wasn’t sure that Keith would want to be _restrained_ like that. He obviously wanted Shiro to touch him, though, so he sat up on his knees, pushed Keith into a sitting position, and slid between his back and the wall, letting Keith rest against his chest. Keith leaned his head back against his shoulder and blinked up at him, his lips parted, his breathing shallow, and Shiro heard himself _groan_ before he finally kissed Keith’s mouth.

He tried to hold Keith’s lower lip gently between his own, but it was a futile effort. Keith was already edging toward release, his body tense, his skin hot where Shiro’s hands were resting hesitantly on his chest and stomach, under his shirt. Shiro gave in, opening his mouth for Keith’s tongue, lightheaded at the notion of _tasting_ Keith after so much loss, and longing, and imagining.

For a long time, Shiro had stopped himself from picturing it. Seeing Keith again after escaping captivity had been like rediscovering a part of himself he’d thought he’d lost for good. Keith felt like home – like family – and when they’d first started piloting Voltron together, Shiro had clung to their shared history like a lifeline.

But it didn’t take long for that dynamic to start to shift. Keith quickly distinguished himself as a peer – strong, decisive, dedicated – and Shiro had felt the once-clear boundaries of their friendship start to bend. They’d begun to lean on each other, metaphorically and, at times, literally: lingering hugs and small gestures of physical affection that took hold in Shiro’s mind, and his heart, until Keith felt like home in an entirely different way.

Until he’d started to picture Keith behind his closed eyelids, long after they’d said goodnight and returned to their separate quarters.

Until he was aching to hold Keith in his arms and-

_“Oh- Mmh-”_

And now he _was._ He was holding Keith in his arms, and Keith was holding onto him, too, his blunt fingernails digging into the skin of his forearm, his chin tipped all the way back, his head resting heavily on Shiro’s shoulder. Kissing wasn’t an option, now – Keith was moaning incoherently, his cheek burning hot against Shiro’s neck – so Shiro looked down and locked eyes with Lance, who slowed his pace to a crawl and then paused, grinning back at him with so much affection that Shiro was overcome with the desire to _act_ , to _participate._ So he pulled the neckline of Keith’s shirt to the side, put his mouth on his shoulder, and sucked.

_“Ahh- Shiro-”_

He dug his teeth in – _He said my name –_ and Keith _pressed_ backward against him while Lance started sucking on his head again, stroking with his hand-

_“Nghhah-”_

Lance looked up, eyes wide. Shiro didn’t have to read his mind to catch the question.

_Good?_

Shiro nodded.

_So good._

Lance tilted his head a little.

_Ready?_

Shiro nodded again, tightened his hold on Keith’s body, and bit down aggressively on Keith’s shoulder-

_“Fuck! Fuck! Fff-”_

Keith was tense, then hovering, then _gone._ Shiro held him while he shook, watching Lance swallow, feeling hot and dizzy and _reckless_. He squeezed his eyes shut and took a handful of shuddering breaths, trying not to get carried away on the wave that Keith was riding.

_“Shiro…”_

He felt a hand on his cheek, and he opened his eyes again. Lance was there, kneeling next to him, smiling.

_“Lance-”_

Lance kissed him, much more assertively than he’d done so far, and Shiro tasted salt, and something vaguely floral…

_Keith._

He shivered with pleasure.

He went on kissing Lance while Keith shifted his position, and when he opened his eyes, Keith was facing him, kneeling between his thighs. He and Lance glanced at each other, and then they kissed Shiro’s cheeks in unison, their hands exploring, pulling at his shirt, touching his stomach and his chest underneath-

“Wait.”

They both paused and sat back immediately, obediently. They watched him for a moment, concern mirrored in their expressions, and then Lance picked up his hand and squeezed.

“It’s okay, Shiro. Tell us what’s wrong.”

“Nothing,” he said, with emphasis. “Nothing’s wrong. You’re both incredible.”

“But you don’t want us to?” Keith asked, keeping his hands to himself.

“I do,” Shiro said. “I really, really do. It’s just…” He paused. He’d been trying to figure out how to explain it to them, but the words hadn’t come together. He briefly considered inviting them into his mind… but Keith had been right. They were all entitled to the privacy of their thoughts, right now. Besides, they had already _been_ inside his mind. They had caught glimpses of this struggle already. They would understand.

“Listen,” he said, starting over. “You both know how hard it’s been for me to feel like this body belongs to me.”

They nodded patiently. Keith rested a hand cautiously on his thigh.

“We want to help, Shiro,” he said.

“I know. You have. You are. But I’ve never… I mean, _in this body_ , I’ve never even…” He squeezed Lance’s hand in frustration. Why was this so hard to say? “I’ve never had sex, I’ve never had an orgasm, I’ve never even been hard before today, and even that… I’m not even sure…”

He stared between them helplessly for a moment, and then Lance hugged him, lightly, around the shoulders.

“It’s okay, Shiro. You don’t have to worry. We’ll figure it out.”

He leaned into Lance’s sweetness. He felt one of Keith’s arms slide around him, too – Keith kissed him, softly, on his cheek – and he let the air out of his lungs, and let himself be calmed by them.

“I’m sorry,” he breathed. “I was trying to figure out how to tell you.”

“Don’t worry,” Keith echoed. “We’re not going anywhere. We’ll do whatever you need. We’ll wait as long as you want, or… or not, if… well, you can just tell us what to do, okay?”

Shiro nodded, their hair tickling his face and his neck pleasantly as he moved.

“Just give me a little time.”

They held on for another moment before they sat back from him. Keith maneuvered himself back into his shorts and pants – Lance had only managed to get them halfway off – and Lance stared around the bed, searching for his own.

“Really? I’m the only one who’s mostly naked? Who took my pants?”

“That’d be me,” Keith said. He leaned toward Lance, swung wide, and landed a flat-handed slap on his backside.

“HEY!”

Lance tackled him onto his back, and Keith went down laughing. He didn’t bother fighting back until Lance forced his shirt up to his chest and tickled him ruthlessly up one side.

“AH! BLUE! HA- _BLUE-_ AH!”

“Say it!” Lance demanded, grinning wickedly, dragging his fingernails over the crease of Keith’s hip. “Tell me why you took my pants!”

“AH HAHA OKAY OKAY AHH! BECAUSE- BECAUSE YOUR ASS IS SPECTACULAR!”

Lance raised his arms over his head in triumph. Keith went on laughing, and Shiro joined in, enjoying the moment of lightness, grateful that he hadn’t shattered this new aspect of closeness between the three of them.

Lance finally rolled off of Keith and recovered his shorts and pants from the floor, and then the three of them sat in a circle on the bed, close, but not touching. Shiro told the computer to brighten the lights a bit, and then he looked between Lance and Keith. He was preparing himself to start the conversation he knew they all needed to have, but Keith spoke up before he could figure out what to say.

“Okay,” Keith said. “I know we need to talk. I know we probably should’ve last night, or…” He checked his wrist communicator. “…this morning, I guess. So I’ll start.” He cleared his throat. “I’m all in. I want this with both of you as much as I’ve ever wanted anything. You mean everything to me, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make it work.”

“Me, too,” Lance said confidently. Shiro nodded.

“Me, too.”

Keith smiled, looking relieved.

“So we’re together?”

“Yes.”

“Of course, we are.”

He nodded.

“What do we call each other?”

They all thought for a moment.

“Partners?” Shiro suggested.

“Boyfriends?” Lance asked, like he was testing out the word.

“Either sounds fine to me,” Keith told them, and they nodded their agreement. “Okay… what else?”

“Uh… boundaries,” Shiro said. “We need to figure out what everyone’s comfortable with when we’re all together… and also when only two of us are.”

“Right,” Keith said. He and Lance both looked thoughtful.

“So… I know you two were getting close,” Shiro went on. “Before this happened, I mean. So if you still want to explore that… I mean, if you still want to be alone together…”

Keith and Lance looked at each other.

“I… I’m not sure,” Lance said, frowning.

“Me neither,” Keith said. “I mean, maybe we shouldn’t? While the three of us are figuring things out?”

Lance nodded. “Yeah. I know I said I wanted you and Shiro to be together, and I do, but…”

“You want to be included,” Shiro said, reaching for his hand. Lance took it and squeezed.

“Is that selfish?”

“No. I want you with us.”

“So do I,” Keith confirmed.

“Okay,” Lance breathed, smiling. “That’s what I want, too. But… maybe kissing is okay? If we’re not all together, I mean? Over-the-clothes type stuff?”

Shiro nodded. “I’m fine with that.”

“Me too,” Keith said. “So, then… boundaries for when we _are_ all together.” He looked at Shiro. “Was all this okay? Or do you need us to slow things down?”

Shiro shook his head. “This was perfect. I want you both to do whatever you’re comfortable with.”

Keith looked at Lance. “What are you comfortable with, Blue?”

“Uh.” He swallowed. “I’ve never had sex before, but… I want to.”

“Giving? Receiving?”

Lance thought about it. “In general… either. With you, for the first time…” He hesitated, then said, “Receiving, I think? Because I like it when you… I mean, I like it when you get all… I don’t know, confident, maybe? And, Shiro… I liked it when you were squeezing me really tight, and talking to me… saying nice things...”

Shiro smiled, warmth spreading inside his chest. “I loved that.”

“Really?”

“Yes. We can do that anytime you want.”

“Wow.” Lance was grinning. “Thank you.”

Shiro stroked his knuckles affectionately. He felt like wrapping Lance up in his arms all over again.

“Sounds like we’re on the same page,” Keith said. “I would, too. Uh.” His cheeks were tinged with pink. “Have sex, I mean. With either of you. _Both_ of you. However you wanted to.” He brushed Shiro’s knee with the back of his hand. “Whenever you’re ready.”

“Keith?” Lance had the fabric of Keith’s pants between his thumb and forefinger. “I… uh… the biting is good. You can do that, some more.”

The flush in Keith’s cheeks started to spread a little. “Licking, too?”

Lance bit his lower lip. He nodded. “Anywhere you want.”

“Okay. That… that sounds really good.”

“And… you said I smelled good? Different than usual?”

Keith was fully red in the face now. Shiro raised his fingertips to his cheek.

“It’s okay, Keith.”

He nodded. “Um. I don’t really know how to explain it. I guess it was the same way your skin usually smells, but it was _really_ strong and… good.”

“Just in that one spot?”

Keith leaned close to Lance, hesitated, then pressed his face against his neck. He breathed in and out, pressed a kiss against his skin, then sat back.

“It’s there, too. Not as strong, but, yeah.”

“But you didn’t smell it yesterday? When we were… y’know…”

Keith thought about it. “I don’t think so. I don’t remember it.”

“But yesterday was the first time, right?” Shiro asked. They nodded. “So maybe you… bonded, or something? I mean, I’ve never really bothered to read up on Galra sexuality…”

Keith’s eyes went wide. “Oh. Wow. Right.” Shiro rested a hand on his shoulder.

“We have all kinds of information in our records. We can help you look into it, if you want.”

Keith looked uncertain, and Shiro’s heart squeezed. He knew how unnerving it was for Keith, to feel so disconnected from his own biology.

Lance had obviously picked up on his discomfort, too. He practically crawled into Keith’s lap, wrapping him up in a hug.

“It’ll be okay, Red.” He lowered his voice. _“You’re sexy as hell. I kinda can’t stand it. You have nothing to worry about.”_

Shiro caught Keith’s eye over Lance’s shoulder and smiled, brushing his dark hair away from his face.

“It’s true. You are sexy as hell.”

“See?” Lance said, still holding him tight. “Shiro says so. It must be true.”

Keith pressed his face closer to Lance’s neck and breathed deeply again, and Shiro saw some of the tension go out of his shoulders. He felt a pang. Not jealousy, exactly. More like envy. He wanted to be able to comfort Keith like that. He wanted to be bonded to Keith, too. To both of them. And he was the one holding them back.

His train of thought was interrupted when all three of their wrist communicators started beeping. It was a quiet, non-threatening alert. Shiro tapped into it while Lance crawled out of Keith’s lap.

“It’s just Allura. Sounds like everyone else is feeling up to meeting for dinner.”

Keith nodded. “We should. We need to regroup, after…” He trailed off, his expression grim.

“Hey,” Shiro said, soothingly. “The battle went as well as it could’ve possibly gone, thanks to you.”

“Not just me,” Keith said. He swallowed and shook his head a little, staring between them. “I don’t know what I would’ve done, if-”

“Keith.” Shiro put a hand around the back of his neck. “We’re here. We’re all safe.”

Keith looked like he was on the verge of tears, so Shiro kissed him, willing him to be reassured. He responded right away, sliding one hand up his arm, to the back of his neck, then into his hair, grasping firmly, like he needed proof that Shiro was really there. Shiro let a small sound escape from his throat – he couldn’t help it, Keith felt so _good_ – and then Keith’s tongue was in his mouth, again, and they were up on their knees, pulling each other closer, _pressing_ themselves against each other-

 _“Nnhah-_ ”

Shiro froze, his eyes snapping open. That last moan had sounded harsh, almost pained. He focused on what his body was doing and found that his prosthetic hand was pressing _hard_ against Keith’s lower back, forcing Keith’s body against himself. He let go, sitting back on his knees.

“Shiro?” Keith looked dazed. “What happened?”

“I… didn’t that hurt?”

“Huh?” He shook his head, like he was trying to clear it. “No. It felt really good.” He rested his hand lightly on Shiro’s arm. “I’m fine, okay? We’re fine.”

Lance moved closer and picked up his other hand. “Everything’s okay, Shiro. You’re not going to hurt us.”

Shiro tried to take a steadying breath, his chest feeling tight, his lips tingling with anxiousness.

“I could, if I’m not careful.”

Lance kneeled even closer to him and slid an arm around his shoulders.

“You won’t,” he murmured. “I trust you.”

“We both do,” Keith said, cradling his face with one hand.

Shiro nodded, put his arms around them both, and hugged them close.

“Will you stay here with me tonight?” he asked them.

 _“Shiro,”_ Keith murmured, his hand warm and strong on the back of Shiro’s neck. _“We’re going to stay together every night.”_

 


	11. It's Not Safe

Shiro was the unwitting center of attention as soon as he, Keith and Lance walked into the dining room for dinner with the rest of the team. As much as he appreciated everyone’s concern, he found it difficult to focus on what they were saying to him, his mind wandering constantly to Lance and Keith – to what had just happened between them, and to everything that could, and to all the reasons he’d had to stop them from taking off his clothes-

“…can’t even see a scar,” Pidge was saying, standing up on her tiptoes, examining his forehead. He forced himself to smile.

“No scar. Callos fixed me right up.”

“I’m sorry, Shiro,” Krolia told him, clasping his hand in both of hers. “I hope you know that I… well, we waited for as long as we could.”

“Don’t apologize. It was the right call. I’m just glad you and Ragos made it out of there.”

She smiled warmly at him, and he felt anxiousness squeezing inside his chest, wondering what she would think about his relationship with her son, once they decided it was time to tell her. Keith had been so young when Shiro had first entered his life. Would she understand how and why their dynamic had shifted? Would she be able to view Keith as the man he had grown up to be? Or would she dwell on their earlier circumstances: on their age difference, and the power imbalance that had once existed between them? Shiro wasn’t sure, and even though he, Keith, and Lance had all agreed to let things settle between them before explaining their situation to the rest of the group, he knew he was going to find the secrecy and anticipation uncomfortable.

He finished hugging Hunk and shaking hands with Coran, then started toward the food at the back of the room, but Lance got his attention and waved him over to the table; he’d already made him a plate. Shiro rested a hand on his back – _Fuck it,_ he thought – and then sat down between him and Keith. He took a few bites, chewing distractedly, grateful for their calming presence.

“You like those things, right?” Lance asked softly, pointing at his plate.

“I like all of this. Thanks, Lance.”

Lance swallowed a bite, rolling his eyes with pleasure. “Oh man. I feel like I haven’t eaten in a month.”

“Yeah. It’s been an intense few days. Or… weeks. Months. Years?”

Lance giggled, then shrugged. “I guess. But I wouldn’t change it. I’d do it all again.”

Shiro met his eye. “Really?”

Lance blinked at him. “To end up with… to end up here?” He nodded. “Yeah. No question.”

He focused on his dinner again, but Shiro continued to stare in his direction, thinking, _This is it. This is why I need you._

They ate in a companionable silence for a few more minutes, and as soon as most of the group seemed to be finished with their food, Keith cleared his throat to get their attention. Side conversations ceased, and everyone looked at him expectantly.

“Hey, guys,” he said. “I know I talked to most of you after the battle, but I just wanted to say it again. Great work last night. I know things didn’t exactly go according to plan, but it could’ve been much worse. You really came through.”

“So did you, man,” Hunk said. “None of us could’ve moved fast enough to catch that last ship. That was _epic._ ”

“Agreed,” Allura said. “If they’d managed to escape…”

“But they didn’t,” Keith told her. “We have every reason to believe we’re safe here, for the time being.”

“All of us,” Pidge said. “Thanks to you, Lance.”

Shiro saw him shift uncomfortably in his seat. He knew that as much as Lance craved praise and approval, there were times when it was still difficult for him to believe he deserved it. He rested the back of his hand against Lance’s leg, under the table.

“Shiro,” she went on, “I’m _so_ glad you’re okay, but… I don’t think I really understand how Lance managed to get you out.”

“Um,” Lance said, glancing at him before turning back toward Pidge. “It’s like I said before. I teleported with Kosmo onto the cruiser.”

“But wasn’t Shiro unconscious the whole time?” Pidge asked. “How did you know where to find him?”

“We found him together,” Keith said. “I… I know I probably should’ve tried to explain this, before. You know how we’re all connected through the lions? How you can feel that tug when one of us gets hurt, or has an idea we need to act on right away?”

The other paladins nodded their acknowledgement.

“Well… that connection got amplified somehow, between Shiro and me. I think it happened when his consciousness was still inside the black lion. He was the one who helped me get back to you, when you were fighting Lotor.”

Pidge nodded again. “So you can actually see through each other’s eyes?”

“If we want to, yeah.”

“And you can connect to Lance, too?”

Shiro looked between Lance and Keith, his heart rate starting to climb. He had a feeling he knew where this conversation was headed, and based on the way they were blushing, they did, too.

“Yeah,” Keith said. “But… we all might have the ability to connect like that, through the lions. I’m not sure.”

“Oh,” Pidge said, looking surprised. “I thought maybe it was because you’ve been… well… you know.” She was blushing now, too. “Holding hands.”

Shiro physically felt the breath Keith took before he answered her.

“I don’t know. But you’re right. We are seeing each other. Lance and me, and…”

“And me, too,” Shiro finished. There was no point trying to hide it from them, now. “The three of us are seeing each other.”

“No way!” Hunk said, his eyes wide. “The three of you? Wow. _That_ is a seriously creative solution, guys. Kudos.”

“Solution to what?” Pidge asked, looking confused.

“Well, Keith and Lance…” Hunk rambled, gesturing. “But then, Keith and _Shiro_ , obviously, so…”

“I don’t understand,” Allura cut in, her eyebrows drawn together in concern. “The three of you are… what? In a relationship?”

“Yes,” they said in unison.

“But… don’t you think that’s something the rest of us needed to know about?” She sounded angry, now. Shiro raised his hands a little.

“Yes,” he said again, trying to keep his voice even. “You all have a right to know about things that could affect the team.”

“We were going to tell you,” Keith added. “It’s just… new.”

Allura glared between them for a moment before she said, “Shiro… I wouldn’t have expected this from you.”

Shiro felt the edges of his mouth start to tingle. He was having trouble swallowing.

“Allura,” Krolia said, her tone dangerous. “It’s not your place.”

“Yeah,” Hunk said, much more timidly. “I mean, we’ve all kinda been through enough, don’t you think? If they’re happy…”

“Being a paladin isn’t about being _happy_ ,” Allura practically spat. “It’s about accomplishing the mission. It’s about putting the needs of others before your own.”

“They do that all the time!” Pidge said, arguing. “That’s all _any_ of us do!” She looked at Keith. “You could’ve tried to ground Shiro yesterday, right? You could’ve tried to stop him from boarding the cruiser?”

Keith nodded. “I could have.”

“And you could’ve tried to save him instead of going after that ship, too,” she added.

“Yes.”

She gestured in their direction, glaring at Allura. “See? How can you even suggest that they don’t know how to put the team first? _Especially_ after you and _Lotor_ -”

“Pidge,” Lance said, cutting her off. “Don’t.”

It was too late, though. Shiro looked at Allura and saw tears streaming down her face. She sat still for a moment, staring at nothing in particular, and then she got up from the table and walked out of the room. Coran gave them all a sympathetic look before he hurried after her.

“Pidge…” Keith said. “I know you’re trying to be supportive, and I appreciate that, but we can’t support each other by tearing down someone else on the team.” He said this so calmly that Shiro was stunned, and then soothed, and then overwhelmed with pride.

Pidge hung her head.

“You’re right. I… I’m sorry.”

“Tell Allura that, once she’s cooled off a little, okay?”

Pidge nodded. “I will.”

“Okay.” Keith sighed, and Shiro felt the urge to rest his head against his chest, to get as close as he could to that calming breath. “…You’re all entitled to your concerns and opinions,” Keith was saying, “but I think it might be better if you shared them with one of us individually.”

“Uh, for the record, I have zero concerns,” Hunk said, raising his hand. “I love you guys. I just want you to be happy.”

“Same here,” Pidge said, her voice small. “I trust you. If this is what you want, I’m really, really happy for you.”

“I know my opinion probably counts for very little,” Romelle said, standing up from the table, looking profoundly uncomfortable, “but you’ve more than proven yourselves as paladins. Your personal lives should be your own. I wish you well.”

They thanked her, and she cleared her plate and left. Hunk and Pidge excused themselves, too, leaving them alone with Krolia, who had remained decidedly silent, staring at a spot on the table, her expression unreadable. Shiro reached for Keith and Lance’s hands under the table.

“Mom?” Keith prompted, sounding much less confident than he had just a moment ago. “We were going to tell you…”

She nodded, then met his eye.

“I disagree with the way Allura voiced her concerns,” she said. “She’s not wrong, though. The potential for complication is… unsettling.” She hesitated, then said, “Still, I can’t picture anyone I’d rather see standing by your side.”

The three of them exhaled as one.

“We really were going to tell you soon,” Shiro said. “We’ve barely had time to talk it through between the three of us.”

“I understand. And Romelle was right. You’re entitled to your privacy.”

They all stood up from the table. Krolia approached Keith and rested a hand on his shoulder.

“Keith… trying to build a life with your father wasn’t necessarily the wisest choice,” she said. “But it was, by far, the best decision I’ve ever made. I wish I could protect you from the kinds of choices I’ve had to make in my life, but I know that I can’t. So you’ll have to protect each other, as best you can.”

Keith nodded slowly. Shiro guessed he couldn’t speak at the moment, so he said, “We will, Krolia. I promise.”

“I promise, too,” Lance said.

She nodded at each of them, then squeezed Keith’s shoulder and left them alone.

“Keith?” Lance prompted, as soon as she was out of sight. “Are you okay?”

He nodded again, then cleared his throat.

“I’m sorry for just blurting everything out like that. We said we would try not to lie…”

“It’s okay, Red,” Lance said, stepping closer to him. “Right, Shiro?”

“Yeah,” Shiro said, feeling much calmer now that Keith was the one who needed reassurance. “You did great. It’s better that they know.”

“What should we do about Allura, though?” Keith asked them.

“Maybe I should talk to her?” Lance offered. “I think I can guess why she reacted like that.”

Shiro rested a hand on his arm. “Let me try, first? She singled me out. I think she might need help understanding how I fit into everything.”

Lance nodded. He stood up on his tiptoes to kiss Shiro’s cheek, and then did the same for Keith, though he didn’t need to stand up quite so tall. Then he rolled his shoulders and said, “I think I might go take a shower.”

Keith took hold of his wrist. “No.” He frowned. “I mean…” He let go, a blush climbing from his neck to his cheeks. “Sorry. Yeah. I probably need one, too.”

Lance was staring back at him. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Red.”

Keith made a face. “It’s just…” He slid his arms around Lance’s waist, pulling him close, pressing his cheek against his neck. _“It’s just the way you smell,”_ he murmured, almost too quietly for Shiro to hear.

“Keith…” Shiro said, resting a hand on his back while Lance stroked his hair. “I doubt it’s the kind of thing that can get washed off by a shower. It’ll be okay.”

Keith nodded against Lance’s shoulder, relaxing a bit, and Shiro felt the same pang he’d experienced earlier. It wasn’t jealousy – the way Lance held his gaze while he moved his fingers through Keith’s hair made his heart ache with happiness – but he felt like a witness, again, instead of a participant. There was a glitch in the circuit, and he was the cause.

He put his arms around them, and they immediately adjusted their position to hold onto him, too. Keith kissed him lightly before resting his head on his shoulder.

The discomfort eased, a bit.

 

* * *

 

“Allura?” Shiro knocked on her door for the third time. “It’s Shiro. Can we just talk for a minute?”

The door slid open. She didn’t look at him, but she stood to the side to let him pass, then closed the door behind him and sat down on her bunk. He took the chair at the table on the other side of the room, relieved to find that her expression was composed, though her eyes were still red and puffy.

“I’m sorry,” he told her. “If it seemed like we were trying to hide something from you, that wasn’t our intention.”

She didn’t meet his eye.

“You must think I’m such a hypocrite.”

“No,” he said gently. “I think you learned a brutal lesson from what happened with Lotor. I think you’d do anything to keep the team from being compromised.”

She nodded. “I would. And I thought I could trust you to do the same.”

“Allura…” He stared down at his artificial hand, trying to organize his thoughts. “I’m not sure if you know this, but half the team’s been hanging by a thread lately. Do you know why Keith lost contact with the black lion?”

She finally looked at him. “No. I don’t.”

“It was because I told him we couldn’t be together. And I really thought I was teaching him some kind of lesson about leadership, or… I don’t know what. I thought I was prioritizing the mission, and I thought I could force him to do that, too. But I…” He paused, because his voice had become unsteady. “I _crushed_ him. I almost wiped out every reason he ever cared about piloting Voltron or winning the war. And if Lance hadn’t stepped up… if he hadn’t pulled Keith out of that place… I don’t think we’d even have a black paladin right now.” He shook his head. “I had it wrong. We’re not machines, Allura. We’re not supposed to be. Keith needs this. Lance does, too.”

She blinked at him.

“And you?”

He swallowed. He looked away from her face, reminding himself not to drain all the honesty from his thoughts before the words left his mouth.

“I probably need this more than either of them. I can’t remember the last time I felt like a human being, before today.”

“Oh, Shiro…” He looked at her and found tears on her cheeks again. “I’m so sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too,” he said. “I know there’s something between you and Lance. I know he feels really strongly for you.”

She let go of her breath, and a tiny sob came out with it.

“Lance is free to do as he wishes. And it’s just as well. I think… I think I should’ve given myself more time, after…” She sniffed and wiped at her cheeks with the back of her hand, then straightened up, looking regal, once again. “I think I’ve behaved badly. Forgive me.”

He nodded. “I do.”

 

* * *

 

It took three knocks before Keith answered his door, too, and the reason was immediately evident. He was holding a towel, and water droplets were clinging to the ends of his damp hair, falling onto his cheeks and forehead. He was wearing a pair of the close-fitting, earth-colored pants the Olkari kept stocked in all of their rooms, but he was naked from the waist up.

Shiro stared.

“Hey!” Keith said, his eyes bright, his smile wide.

Shiro went on staring.

“Um… do you want to come in?”

Shiro blinked.

“Uh.”

Keith looked down at his own naked torso.

“Oh. Right. Hang on.”

He shut the door, and Shiro stared at that, instead, feeling heat spreading from his chest up to his cheeks, and elsewhere, too.

The door slid open again. The towel was gone, and Keith was wearing a short-sleeved t-shirt that matched his pants.

“Better?” he asked.

“Uh… what?”

Keith laughed. He raised the back of his hand to Shiro’s cheek, then yanked it away.

“Yikes,” he said, blowing on his knuckles, teasing. “You’re burning up.”

“God, I love to see you laugh,” Shiro blurted. “I could watch you laugh all day. I can’t even remember the last time you…”

He trailed off, staring again, taking in Keith’s wide-eyed expression. Then he kissed him, walking him backward into his quarters, groping at the wall for the door control. The door slid shut behind them, and Shiro went on kissing Keith’s mouth, holding his face with both hands, thinking vaguely that he should try to hang on to some measure of restraint, feeling it start to slip, regardless. He exhaled when Keith pulled on his lower lip, giving in, opening his mouth for Keith’s tongue, tasting something floral… Lavender? Rose? It was somewhere in between, faint and sweet and _delicious_. He slid his hands down Keith’s chest and around to his lower back, pulling him closer-

 _“Mh-_ ”

Keith paused mid-moan, breathing shallow, his arms locked tight around Shiro’s shoulders.

“Sorry,” Shiro murmured, blinking back at him. “It’s… I… I just wanted to for so long…”

Keith nodded, smiling. “Me, too.”

“I pictured it so many times,” Shiro went on, aware of the fact that he’d let his filter slip, relishing the freedom of it. “And I never even got close. It’s so much better than anything I imagined.”

Keith tilted his head to one side.

“Shiro… are you a romantic?”

He laughed, stroking Keith’s lower back with his thumb.

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

“I like it.”

“I want to know everything you like.”

Keith nodded. “I like it when you kiss me like that. And… like earlier.”

Shiro moved one hand to pull the neckline of Keith’s shirt to the side. He found a large red-and-purple bruise there, midway between his neck and left shoulder.

“Oh,” he breathed. “I… I didn’t really mean to leave that much of a mark.”

“I want you to leave marks all over me.”

Shiro throbbed. He swallowed. He loosened his hold on Keith’s waist.

“I want to. There are so many things I want to do. I’m just… I’m worried about what I could do, if I let my guard down.”

“I know. I can wait, for as long as you need me to. Lance will, too. But you need to let us help you.”

Shiro shook his head a little. “I don’t know how.”

“It’s okay. We’ll figure it out. Just don’t shut us out, okay?”

“Okay.”

Keith pressed his lips against his cheek, then took a step back from him, smoothing at his own still-damp hair.

“I think Lance is handling things pretty well so far,” he said. “I still want to keep an eye on it, though. I think it’s still hard for him to understand that he fits, with us.”

Shiro nodded. “I agree. How do you want to handle it?”

“I think the two of you should spend some more time alone together, if you can. I mean, he knows you care about him, but I think it’s going to take him some time to really believe it, you know?”

“Yeah. I do know. That’s a good idea.”

“And if we all decide to get closer… like, physically… I just want to make sure he feels included. Like earlier.” He paused while a blush bloomed in his cheeks. “You were fucking spectacular today. With Lance, and… with me.”

Shiro felt his heart leap into the back of his throat.

“Really?”

“Yes. I… I didn’t know it could be like that.”

“What? Sex?”

“Well, yeah, but I meant… love.”

Shiro swallowed.

“Keith, I-”

“Shiro, listen-”

They both stopped, laughing a little.

“You first,” Shiro said, and Keith nodded.

“So… I just needed to tell you…” He fidgeted with his hands, holding them in front of his stomach. “This thing with Lance… this whole _bonding_ thing, or whatever it is… it doesn’t change anything between you and me. You know that, right? I _love_ you. More than ever.”

Shiro nodded. “I know that. I love you, too.” It felt so good to say, he found he wanted to say it again. He took hold of Keith’s hand. “I love you.” He pressed their foreheads together and closed his eyes. _“I love you. So much, Keith.”_ He felt Keith’s breath on his lips when he exhaled. _“I want to get close. I want to give you everything you deserve. It’s just…”_

 _“What?”_ Keith murmured. _“What are you so afraid of?”_

_“Losing control. Hurting one of you. Doing something we’d all regret.”_

Keith hugged him. He pressed his cheek against Shiro’s neck.

_“What if I give you an order, Defender?”_

Shiro smiled, smoothing his fingers through Keith’s hair.

_“I can go by the book for a worthy commander.”_

_“Just me, then?”_

_“Mm. Just you.”_

_“Okay. Listen carefully.”_ Shiro shivered as Keith’s lips brush against the outer shell of his ear. _“You’re going to go back to your quarters, and get in the shower, and touch yourself while you think about being with me and Lance. You don’t have to come, but you do have to think about how much I want to put my mouth on you. Understood?”_

Shiro moaned aloud. Keith’s lips were on the back of his neck.

_“Ah- Understood.”_

* * *

 

Shiro stared at himself in the mirror inside his bathroom. It was embedded in the wall – the Olkari had modified the composition of these rooms to suit their needs, based on the paladins’ logs and records – and it was tall enough that he could see himself from head to toe.

 _Myself._ It still felt strange, even thinking the word. Shiro ran his flesh-and-blood fingers through his silver fringe for the hundredth time, trying to understand the dissonant emotions it elicited. He could remember the way his mother had kissed his forehead when he was young… but it hadn’t been _this_ forehead. He could remember the dizzy thrill of tearing away from the ground on his very first flight… but that had been another heart, pounding away inside a different chest. He could remember the night he’d made love to Adam for the first time… but Adam had never touched this body, had never kissed this mouth, had never sighed in these arms. He knew these memories were his, that these experiences had helped to shape the person he was now. But the scars on this body had been manufactured, not earned. _His_ body was gone – _Gone forever –_ replaced by another that had been _built_ , rather than born. His mind now lived inside a vessel that had never even set foot on Earth.

This realization had been horrifying. Shiro had stayed at Keith’s bedside for hours after he’d woken up – after Keith had collapsed – digging his fingers into his thigh, pacing off and on to avoid a full-scale panic, frantic that this body might not _do_ what bodies are supposed to _do._

Could he still pilot a ship? Could he still run and jump and dodge and strike? Could he fight well enough to defend his teammates, or to save himself?

Could he still sing? Was he still ticklish along his inner thighs? Would he still hate the taste of spicy food, and crave chocolate ice cream? Could he still hold his breath under water, or make a three-point shot with a basketball? Would the ocean still smell the same, if he lived long enough to see it again?

Could he get aroused? Could he have an orgasm? Would he be able to make love to someone, ever again?

He had punished Keith for all this uncertainty. He knew that, now. He hadn’t meant to, but it had been so much easier to try to remove himself from the equation than to face the reality of these questions all at once. He knew what Keith deserved, knew what experiences he wanted Keith to have, and he’d known for certain, then, that he was utterly unequipped to be the partner Keith was seeking.

But then, all of his questions had slowly started answering themselves. He _did_ crave chocolate ice cream, still. He had battled the sentries in the simulation room with Keith by his side, and he’d actually _enjoyed_ it. He had piloted a ship. He had helped save Olkarion from the Galra.

He had held Lance and Keith in his arms, had felt his body waking up as they shuddered and shook. He had kissed their lips and felt like a person again – had felt that, if he could figure out how to let them love this body, then maybe he could learn to love it, too.

And so, in this moment, he found he could accept the silver-white hair on his head – under his arms, on his lower stomach, between his legs – because it reminded him that he’d been given a second chance. He brushed his fingertips over the trail of short, smooth hair under his belly button, thinking that he’d put this off for long enough.

He stepped into the shower and let the water spill over his shoulders and back, exhaling slowly as it caressed and warmed his skin. He tipped his head backward and let the stream run over and through his hair, then reached for the rectangular bar of all-purpose soap the Olkari had crafted especially for their human guests. He lathered suds through the strands of his hair, enjoying the feeling of his fingers moving over his scalp, letting his mind wander to Lance’s long-fingered hands. He had noticed them long before now, right around the time that he – or, more precisely, his clone – had first returned to the team.

He remembered thinking that Lance had grown so much in his absence. Shiro had always valued him as a team player and a skilled pilot, but he had started to think of him as a close friend at that time, too. Lance had seemed unfazed by his vulnerable state, and Shiro had been grateful for his cheerful optimism – though of course, he knew now, it had been concealing a deep well of concern and affection. They had spoken often, had even trained together a handful of times while Shiro had been regaining his strength.

And Shiro had started to notice his hands.

They were quick and strong in combat training, manipulating weapons or striking blows. They were deliberate and graceful, cradling a cup of tea over breakfast, two fingers tracing the lip of his mug. They were warm – Shiro remembered how they had felt on his body, resting briefly on his arm or his shoulder, hesitant, but reassuring. They were delicate and deadly all at once, like Lance himself was.

They were beautiful, like Lance himself was.

Shiro imagined that Lance’s hands were in his hair instead of his own.

He held the image in his mind while he ran the soap over his chest and shoulders, enjoying the feeling of the suds and the fresh, clean smell, somewhere in the realm of mint and cocoa. He slid his hands around to his lower back and then downward, spreading the suds, lingering in places he hadn’t dared to pay attention to before now. The lines and curves of his body felt comfortingly familiar, now that he was allowing himself to notice, and it was pleasant to be touched, even by himself.

He smoothed the soap over each of his legs next, then hesitated, breathing slowly, before he lathered suds over his stomach and spread them down from his belly button, through the patch of silver-white hair underneath, and over his cock. He finished the business of cleaning himself thoroughly before he finally held it in his hand, and then he set the soap aside, braced his prosthetic palm against the wall, and stroked.

The sensation registered, but just barely. It was a vaguely pleasant warmth, similar to the way it felt to be caressed along a less erogenous part of his body, like his shoulder, or the back of his neck. This was discouraging, but not wholly unexpected. He was still learning to link his mind and his emotions to the physical sensations this body could experience. He stroked twice more, with similar results. He sighed. “Vaguely pleasant” was not a description he’d ever dreamed of assigning to his sex life.

_Right. Lance’s hands. Let’s start with that._

He called up the daydream again, imagining how Lance’s fingers might feel if they were smoothing through his hair. Maybe Lance could stand behind him… _No_. Maybe Lance could _press_ against him from behind while he held Keith against his chest-

_You don’t have to come, but you do have to think about how much I want to put my mouth on you. Understood?_

That did it. He felt himself start to swell, remembering the way Keith had spoken to him, his voice barely a whisper, his calm confidence beyond intoxicating. At first, Shiro had found it surprising, too – he had never seen Keith engage in anything remotely resembling a romantic relationship before – but the more he thought about it, the more he realized how consistent it was with Keith’s personality. He had always pursued his interests with a singular focus, achieving total mastery over any skill he cared to acquire. He kissed Shiro the way he flew a jet or piloted the black lion – confidently, a little recklessly, and masterfully, like he’d been born to do it-

 _“Ah-_ ”

Shiro was fully hard now, his cock so sensitive that his hand shook a bit as he stroked, imagining that it was Keith’s hand, instead, remembering what the inside of Keith’s mouth had tasted like-

 _“Mh-_ ”

He closed his eyes and bit down on his lower lip, succumbing to a dizzying tension that was both familiar and not, thinking about the way Lance’s chest would feel if it was pressed against his bare back-

 _“Nh- ah- hah-_ ”

He was stroking faster now, his heart rate climbing, his breathing shallow, then catching in his throat, then _too_ shallow-

_Fuck- No-_

His lips were numb, his hand was unsteady, there was white light blooming against the black of his closed eyelids, he couldn’t _breathe_ -

_Fuck- KEITH-_

He gritted his teeth, holding his swollen, throbbing cock in his hand, frozen between arousal and panic-

_I’m here. What’s wrong?_

He didn’t bother trying to think in words. He just opened his mind like a floodgate.

_You’re fine, Shiro. Nothing bad is going to happen._

He felt a _tug_ at the corners of his mind… and then he saw Lance staring back at him, through Keith’s eyes.

_See? We’re right here._

Keith was calm and steady, and Shiro let himself be pulled into his mind without hesitation. He immediately felt Keith’s affection spreading through his chest, down to his belly, outward to his fingertips… and then the feeling of his own, shuddering breaths receded while Keith’s slow, measured ones took their place. He watched Lance’s eyes, and the slow rise and fall of his shoulders, while Keith calmed the storm inside his mind.

 _I love you,_ he told Keith, as soon as he could find the words.

_I love you, too._

“You’re beautiful,” he told Lance, using Keith’s voice. “Shiro said that, but I think so, too.”

Lance smiled. “If I kiss you right now, will I be kissing you, or Shiro?”

“Both,” Keith and Shiro said.

He nodded.

“Good.”

Their lips pressed together. Shiro leaned into the kiss with his whole being, and so Keith did, too. They smoothed their fingers through Lance’s hair. They pulled suggestively at his lower lip. They tasted his tongue, then mouthed under his chin, then pressed their faces against his neck-

 _“Oh-_ ”

Lance smelled incredible, like citrus and salt, like sunlight, like home-

 _“Oh, whoa-_ ”

“Keith?” Lance was holding his face with both hands. “You okay?”

“Yeah, it’s – _oh_ – it’s Shiro-”

Shiro was stroking himself again, his own arousal mirrored in Keith’s body and mind, his doubts and fears and inhibitions _gone_. He barely paused to take in the blush in Lance’s cheeks before he buried his face against his neck again, kissing and nipping at his skin, sliding his arms around his back, pulling him closer-

 _“Ah-_ ”

Lance’s quiet whimpering set his nerve endings on fire. He was surrounded by the sound of his voice, by the smell of his skin. He was bucking against his hand with warm water running down his back. He was sucking on Lance’s neck with Keith’s mouth. He was alive. He was _someone_. He was theirs _-_

 _“Keith- ah- Shiro-_ ”

He was _theirs_. He came all over the shower wall, the force of it coursing through his body like a current, while Keith sagged and shuddered in Lance’s arms.

He felt Lance’s fingers smoothing through his hair.

He felt something rough and crumbling against his prosthetic palm.

He opened his eyes and found a spiderweb of cracks in the stone wall of the shower, radiating outward from his artificial hand.

_No…_

He pulled his hand away and set dust swirling in the steamy air, while shards of stone fell away from the imprint he’d left in the wall.

_Fuck! I knew it… I knew… I can’t do this, shouldn’t’ve even tried-_

_Hey,_ Keith nudged, inside his mind. _Shiro. Stop. One step at a time, okay?_

Shiro scowled at nothing in particular. Keith was developing a talent for turning his words around on him.

_Don’t think that face at me. You just had a mind-blowing orgasm. Can we just bask, for a minute?_

_No. It’s not safe. I’m not safe-_

“Hey!” Keith yelled aloud. “There’s nothing safe about _any_ of this! It’s all a risk, in a million different ways. We know this is hard for you. We’ve accepted that. We’re not giving up, so you can’t either.”

Shiro groaned in frustration.

“I can’t do this! I can’t risk hurting you!”

“Listen to me, Shiro,” Keith commanded. “YOU are the one who’s going to be in pain if you don’t quit spiraling. I’m gonna come down there and knock you on your ass if you don’t cut it out and start trusting us.”

Shiro closed his eyes, let his shoulders drop, and let the air out of his lungs.

“Yes, Sir.”

“Good. Get dressed and get your ass to the game room. We’re going to have some fucking fun tonight. Understood?”

Shiro smiled.

“Understood.”


	12. We Have You

Shiro waved himself into the game room and found Lance and Keith already sitting on the couch. Lance flowed out of his seat and practically sprinted over to him, stopping short for a second before he threw his arms around his neck.

“Hey, Shiro!” he said brightly, pressing close to him, standing on his tiptoes to rest his chin on his shoulder. “You can have my controller. I want to watch you wreck Keith at the racing game.”

“As if he could,” Keith challenged, standing close by, letting them have their moment.

Shiro raised an eyebrow at him, still holding Lance close. “You don’t think I can beat you?”

Keith smirked. “I think you’ll try your best.”

“Oh, shit, it’s on,” Shiro said. Lance started pulling him toward the couch. “I will fucking _crush_ you.”

“Talk is cheap, Maverick,” Keith said, jostling his shoulder before darting past them, snatching Lance’s controller from the couch, and hiding it behind his back. “I’m in a generous mood, though. I’ll let you play solo for a round first if you can take this from me.”

Shiro smiled.

“You think I can’t take you down?”

“I really hope you can.”

They stared at each other for a moment, then sprang into motion in the same instant. Keith vaulted smoothly over the couch while Shiro darted around the side of it, quickly enough to catch a fistful of his shirt as he landed on both feet. Keith tried to drop to the floor, but Shiro was ready for that, too. He went down with him, grabbing him around the waist from behind… but Keith rolled them both over, loosening Shiro’s hold just enough to slide out of it. He was almost on his feet again when Lance tackled him instead, grabbing hold of his arm for long enough to dig his knee into Keith’s chest, pinning him to the floor.

“TRAITOR!” Keith laughed, but Shiro could see that he was barely putting up a fight. Lance giggled.

“We’re too evenly matched, now!” he said. “I’m dying to see you get destroyed.”

Keith squirmed underneath him.

“Fuck, Blue. Are we still talking about racing?”

Lance shifted his hips until he was straddling Keith, still holding tight to one of his wrists. “Uh huh.” He leaned over him until their noses were almost touching. “What else would we be talking about?” He _just barely_ licked Keith’s upper lip with the tip of his tongue, then grinned and scrambled to his feet, snatching the controller out of his hand. He tossed it to Shiro.

“He’s all yours.”

“All ours,” Shiro said lightly, pulling Keith up from the floor. He kept his hold on Keith’s wrist and twisted it behind his back, stepping close to him, holding him in place. “I would’ve had you.”

Keith smiled. “Don’t worry. You’ll get plenty of chances to take me down.”

“You promise?”

“I do.” He tilted his head toward the screen. “Now come on. Destroy me, Shiro.”

 

* * *

 

Shiro only allowed himself one solo run through the first level of the game to get a feel for the controls before he insisted that Keith join him. He knew he’d probably lose the first couple of rounds – Keith had already played through this game, had rehearsed the maneuvers and become familiar with the terrain – and he’d resigned himself to that fact. The sooner he could suffer through those initial losses, the sooner he could get down to the business of wiping the floor with Keith’s face.

“UP!” Lance yelled, peeking through his fingers, his legs tucked underneath him on the couch, his left knee resting partially on top of Shiro’s right thigh. “TURN!”

Shiro laughed. “It’s okay, Lance. I’ll get it.”

“I’M SORRY! I CAN’T HELP IT!”

Shiro nudged him with an elbow.

“You’re cute.”

“I’M NERVOUS!”

“You’re nervous and cute.”

“Quit flirting and fly,” Keith cut in.

“Don’t worry, Keith,” Shiro said. “You’re cute, too.”

“You think?” Lance asked.

“Yeah. Don’t you?”

“Uh… _sexy as hell_ is usually the phrase that comes to mind.”

“Okay. Let’s go with that. You’re sexy as hell, Keith.”

Keith grunted his acknowledgement, still wholly focused on the screen, and Shiro and Lance both stifled their laughter.

“Have you noticed that thing he does with one eyebrow?” Lance asked, once he’d recovered. “The right one goes up a little when he’s kissing you.”

“Yeah. He does it when he’s kissing you, too.”

“Can you guys just-?” Keith started, but Lance cut him off.

“That’s not the first time I noticed it, though.”

“Oh yeah? When was the first time?”

“Lance-”

“I’ll give you three guesses.”

“Hmmm.” Shiro paused, navigating through a particularly challenging formation of virtual cliffs, then said, “I’m guessing it was probably the first time he made you come.”

Keith crashed his virtual ship.

“SHIRO!”

“What?” Shiro laughed, gliding easily over a simulated waterfall. “You don’t want us to talk about how sexy you look when you-”

“NOT RIGHT NOW!”

Lance was bent double with laughter, and Shiro sped across the finish line before Keith had a chance to rejoin the race.

“THAT ONE DOESN’T COUNT!” Keith said, rounding on Shiro, scowling. Shiro set aside his controller and put his hands on Keith’s cheeks, trying to mush his expression into a smile.

“Careful, Rogan,” he teased. “Your face will stick like that forever.”

Keith relented, nipping at Shiro’s fingers before he broke into a smile.

“Rogan?” Lance prompted. “Is there a story? Tell me the story!”

Shiro sat back against the couch and raised his right arm, making a space that Lance could settle into.

“It’s not really a story,” he said, draping his arm around Lance’s shoulders. “It’s just Keith’s favorite movie.”

“ _The Last Starfighter_ ,” Keith confirmed, resting his hand on the back of Shiro’s neck. “It’s been so long. I almost forgot.”

“Who’s Rogan?” Lance asked.

“Alex Rogan,” Keith said. “The main character. Guy gets really good at this video game, then finds out it’s actually a training program for pilots fighting in a real war.” He smoothed his thumb over Shiro’s skin. “You’ve never called me that, before.”

“Yeah, I have. I just never said it out loud.”

Keith was quiet for a moment before he cleared his throat.

“ _Listen, Centauri_ ,” he quoted. “ _I’m not any of those guys. I’m a kid from a trailer park.”_

“ _If you think that_ ,” Shiro quoted back, “ _then that’s all you’ll ever be._ ”

Keith shifted his position so he could rest his head on Shiro’s shoulder. He reached across him and took hold of Lance’s hand, which was resting on Shiro’s thigh. Shiro slid his arm around Keith’s back, then pulled him and Lance even closer, sighing happily at the comfort of this configuration.

“Can we sleep like this, later?” he asked them.

“Yes,” Keith said.

“Anything you want,” Lance told him.

Shiro kissed the top of Lance’s head, and then Keith’s too, thinking, _Is there anything I want that I don’t have, right here?_

“You can keep the win, if you want,” Keith murmured. “It’s my own fault I crashed.”

“Nah,” Shiro said, rubbing his nose in Keith’s hair. “I’ll beat you fair and square.”

Keith lifted his head, looked in his eyes, then kissed his lips. Lightly. Sweetly.

“Okay, Maverick,” he said, his voice quiet. “Come and get me.”

 

* * *

 

All three of them were yawning by the time Shiro loaded their sleeping program inside the simulation room. He was the first one to slide under the covers – he had been looking forward to this all night – and he didn’t bother stifling his contented sigh when Lance and Keith snuggled close on either side of him. They kissed each other briefly, leaning over him, and then Lance laid down on his chest, while Keith settled onto his pillow, close to his left shoulder.

“I’ll try not to make too much noise in the morning,” Keith said. “I have to get up early. I’m going with Allura to meet with the families of the Olkari pilots we lost in the battle.”

“Oh, Red…” Lance said. They clasped their hands together over the center of Shiro’s stomach.

“We can come with you, if you want,” Shiro said.

“No. I’ll be okay. I want you to stay in bed.” Keith paused, then added, “Together.”

“Wake me up before you go,” Lance told him.

“Me, too,” Shiro said.

“Okay.” Keith was quiet for a moment. Then he said, “Love you, Lance.”

“Love you, Red.”

“Love you, Shiro.”

“Love you, Keith.”

He squeezed Lance’s hand and kissed Shiro’s cheek before he laid down on the pillow, closed his eyes, and went still. Shiro watched the slow rise and fall of his chest, moving his prosthetic fingers through Lance’s hair.

“Wait…” Lance murmured. “Is he asleep already?”

Shiro laughed softly. “Yeah.”

Lance lifted his head to check for himself.

“Seriously?”

“Uh huh. When he’s relaxed enough, he can fall asleep anytime, anywhere. He’s always been like that.”

“Really?” Shiro nodded, and Lance laid down on the pillow next to him so they could look at each other. “Tell me.”

“Hmm.” Shiro thought for a moment, sifting through his endless supply of memories that included Keith. “So, one time, I lost my Garrison ID. You know those keycards we used to carry to swipe in, everywhere?”

Lance nodded, wide-eyed and attentive.

“Keith and I went racing in the desert, and I had my ID on me when we left, but I couldn’t find it when we got back. He convinced me I must have dropped it somewhere.”

Lance smiled. “He swiped it.”

Shiro rolled his eyes. “Okay, well, you figured that out a lot faster than I did. It took me a whole week. And you know how I finally found out?”

“How?”

“I couldn’t find him after hours one night, so I went looking for him, and found him sleeping in one of the flight simulators.”

Lance giggled. “No way.”

“Uh huh. He swiped the card just to spend more time practicing. He also hacked the system to erase the extra hours from the logs. He didn’t want anyone to know. He just wanted to fly.”

“Did you tell anyone?”

“No.” Shiro smiled. “I let him keep the keycard, too.”

“Really? Why?”

“Well… he could’ve caused some real trouble with it, if he’d wanted to. But he didn’t. All he’d done was access the simulators. He promised me he wouldn’t use the keycard for anything else… I guess I wanted to see what he’d do if he had the opportunity to be trustworthy.”

“I bet he kept his promise.”

Shiro nodded. “He’s kept every promise he’s ever made to me.”

Lance moved a little closer to him. Their legs were pressed together, under the blankets.

“Shiro… he told me a little bit about what happened earlier.”

“Oh. Yeah, I… I’m sorry for all the tension.”

“No, don’t be sorry. It’s just… I wish I’d been there, with you. I wish I could’ve made you feel better.”

“You did. I was thinking about you the whole time, even before…” He paused, then said, “Listen… I bet we could link our minds through the lions, like you and Keith did.”

“Right now?”

“If you want to.”

Lance nodded. “Let’s try it.”

“Okay. Close your eyes.”

Shiro watched him for a moment after he’d done so. This hadn’t been an impulsive suggestion, but he was apprehensive about it, regardless. The idea of inviting anyone into his private thoughts, his moments of weakness, was still anxiety-inducing, despite the closeness the three of them were building together. But Keith and Lance needed to understand all the risks they were taking by getting close to him. And they deserved to know how he felt.

It was easier with Keith. Their shared history was a stable foundation to build upon, and their psychic connection had already granted Keith access to most of what Shiro usually kept hidden. But Shiro found himself falling into old habits with Lance: thinking too carefully about what came out of his mouth. Censoring himself. Holding back, even when he wanted Lance to know what he was thinking. Keeping his distance, when all he wanted to do was get close.

He closed his eyes and looked for the shimmering blackness where the lions’ consciousness lived. He was out of practice – he could connect to Keith instantaneously, as long as Keith was willing – but it didn’t take him long him long to find it, relaxed and comfortable as he was. He could see that Lance was already close by, too, a flicker of yellow-white light at the edges of the infinite dark. He took a long breath in and out, concentrating, and the scenery behind his closed eyelids changed to the dim twilight of the astral plane.

_Lance?_

He focused on the sunlit flicker that was Lance’s mind and _pulled._ Lance appeared in front of him, looking a little unsteady, so he put his hands on his waist to give him some support. Lance leaned against his chest, giggling a little.

_I got dizzy when Keith did that, too._

_Are you all right?_

_Uh huh._ He rested his head on Shiro’s shoulder. _I’m good, now._

_I thought I could just… show you some things._

Lance nodded. _I’m ready._

Shiro took a breath, opened his mind like a door, and let Lance step inside.

He moved them toward the memory of what had happened earlier that day, in the shower. He tried to control the flow of sensory information, but it was no use; the images and impressions came in a disjointed jumble, as memories often do.

Shiro’s reflection in the bathroom mirror. The feeling of his skin under his own hand, slick with soap.

Crumbling stone. Dust in the air.

Salt and citrus. The taste of Lance’s mouth. The impression of daydream-Lance, pressing against Shiro from behind…

_Really? My hands?_

_I was trying to figure out how to tell you._

_I didn’t know, I would’ve… Oh-_

Shiro’s cock, almost painfully sensitive, throbbing in his hand.

Lance’s skin against his teeth.

White-hot, blinding panic.

Keith’s calming, measured breath.

 _I’m sorry,_ Shiro said, holding Lance tight. _It’s all mixed up…_

 _No, it’s…_ Lance was holding on to him. He shuddered. _I wanted this. I want to know._

_I wanted you there with me._

The broken wall, a spiderweb of unintended damage.

_But you need to know what I’m capable of._

_You think I don’t already know?_ Lance’s fingers were in his hair. _I know what it’s like to lose control. I’ve done damage, too._

_I know, but-_

_It was only the first time, Shiro._ Lance was looking at him now, his eyes wide, reflecting starlight. _Firsts are scary. It’ll get better if you let us help._

Shiro nodded. _I’m trying._

_I know. I’m proud of you for calling Keith._

Something foreign stirred inside Shiro’s chest. Lance was proud?

_I wanted to call you, too._

_Well, now we know you can._ Lance was still smoothing at his hair, behind his ear. _Do you usually get anxious when you…?_

_No. That was new. My heart rate just went crazy, and… I don’t know. It’s like, when I’m training or fighting and I get amped like that, I have somewhere to put all the adrenaline, you know? But when I’m alone with my thoughts…_

Lance nodded, then closed his eyes, and Shiro let himself be pulled toward a memory. Lance was on the floor in his quarters in the Castle of Lions, huddled in a corner, holding two handfuls of his own shirt. There were tears on his cheeks, and he was rocking back and forth, his breath coming in ragged gasps that would’ve been sobs if he’d had enough air. The impression only stayed for a moment before it faded; Lance didn’t want to linger, there.

 _After you disappeared,_ Lance said, his eyes open again. _I couldn’t believe you were just… gone. I’ve never felt anything like that before. It felt like…_ He shook his head. _I thought I was dying._

Shiro felt like his heart was breaking and mending all at once. He couldn’t bear the thought of Lance suffering like that, but the _comfort_ of realizing that Lance could understand some of what he was going through… it was overwhelming.

 _“Lance,”_ he whispered, in the physical world. _“Open your eyes.”_

Lance did. He lifted his head from the pillow and moved his hand to Shiro’s forehead. He stroked gently at Shiro’s hair.

“I love you,” Shiro told him.

Lance stopped moving – stopped breathing – staring back at him for a moment before he closed his eyes, his expression almost pained. One tear fell from the corner of his eye, rolling down his cheek before it splashed onto Shiro’s shirt. He swallowed, then opened his eyes again.

“I love you, too.”

Shiro brushed at his cheek as carefully as he could with his artificial fingers.

“I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

Lance smiled.

“Ditto.”

“Huh?”

He brushed one fingertip next to Shiro’s eye, then held it up. It was wet.

“Oh…”

Lance leaned down and kissed the spot, then moved his lips to Shiro’s forehead. He pressed them there for a long time before he finally pulled back.

“I thought this would be so hard,” he said. “I knew you wanted me to be with Keith, but I thought it would make you so sad, too. I thought I would be hurting you all the time. I just… I didn’t think you could feel this way about me.”

“I did. I knew I could. I wouldn’t have asked you to do this, otherwise.”

Lance nodded.

“Thank you for showing me all those things. For trusting me.”

“I’ve never trusted anyone like I trust you and Keith.”

“I know. I could feel it.”

Shiro reached out with his mind again, trying to flood Lance with the warmth and affection he was feeling. Lance’s eyelids fell shut for a moment, and another tear splashed onto his cheek before he kissed Shiro’s lips. It was light and hesitant – more of a _press_ than a kiss – so Shiro put his hand around the back of Lance’s head to reassure him: _Yes. I want you to._

Lance moved his hand down from Shiro’s chest to rest on his stomach.

_Yes. I want you to do that, too._

Lance opened his eyes.

“Shiro? I could… well, I could hold you. Like you pictured. Do you want me to?”

Shiro nodded. “Yes.”

“Okay. Do you think you can get on your side without waking Keith up?”

“Mm. I think I could sing at the top of my lungs for an hour without waking Keith up.”

Lance giggled.

“You should _definitely_ do that, sometime.”

“I could be persuaded. Here, help me with his arm...”

Keith’s left arm was draped heavily over Shiro’s left shoulder. Lance lifted it carefully, and Shiro set it down on the mattress. Keith didn’t stir.

“See?” Shiro said. “Out like a light.”

“I think he might be even more beautiful when he’s sleeping,” Lance said. He reached over Shiro and moved a lock of hair away from Keith’s face. “Don’t you think?”

“Yeah. It’s so nice to see him relax, for a change.”

“I think he’d say the same about you.”

Shiro kissed Lance’s cheek, then shifted onto his side, facing Keith. He held his breath while Lance pressed against him from behind, his chest warm and solid against his back, his hand light and hesitant against his stomach. He exhaled when Lance’s lips brushed against the back of his neck.

 _“Is this okay?”_ Lance murmured, curling his lower body around Shiro’s, too. Shiro covered Lance’s hand with his own and _pressed._

 _“Perfect,”_ he said.

Lance started kissing him slowly: the nape of his neck, the back of his head, the space under his ear, and Shiro sighed, again and again. It was even better than he’d imagined, and he found that he wanted more, so he pulled up on the fabric of his own shirt and moved Lance’s hand so that it was resting flush against the bare skin of his stomach. He felt his heart rate spike for a moment; was this a mistake? Was he sending mixed signals?

His concern was unwarranted; Lance kept his hand safely above the waistband of his pants. He stroked Shiro’s skin with his fingertips, then moved his hand around to the curve of his hip. He traced his fingertips there for a moment, too, exploring… or searching? He lingered on a particular spot and then _pressed_ the heel of his hand into the muscle there, and Shiro let go of his breath in a blissful rush.

 _“Good?”_ Lance asked.

 _“Oh my God,”_ Shiro practically moaned.

Lance kissed his neck again, still massaging the spot.

 _“My hips always ache after I’ve been fighting,”_ he said. _“It’s so hard to stretch them out.”_

_“Mm. It’s easier with a partner. I can help you in the morning.”_

Lance rubbed his nose into Shiro’s hair.

_“Yes, please.”_

Shiro shivered. _Please._ It almost sounded like begging.

_“Lance?”_

_“Uh huh?”_

He swallowed.

_“Don’t stop, okay?”_

_“I won’t. I promise.”_

Shiro closed his eyes, breathing slow and shallow, feeling the urge to _press_ back against Lance’s body every time he felt his lips touch his skin. But he didn’t. He couldn’t. He wasn’t ready. It wouldn’t be safe.

He could picture it, though. That was safe enough. He could lay just like this – Lance could kiss him, just like this – except their clothes would be gone, and their skin would be heating up in stages, everywhere that their bodies were touching. And then… and then…

And then Lance would be moving inside him, and it would be so slow and gentle, and so beautifully safe. It wasn’t something Shiro had thought of often, but he adored Lance’s careful sweetness, wanted to experience it in every way possible. He wanted to give Lance every ounce of his trust. He wanted Lance to know how thoroughly he’d earned it. He wanted to be closer.

He wanted it desperately.

He lay awake in Lance’s arms for a long time, and when he finally fell asleep, Lance’s hand was still pressed against his bare skin.

 

* * *

 

Shiro dreamed.

First, he was at the beach, watching Lance and Keith do handstands in the shallows of the surf. He wanted to join in – they kept calling for him – but he found that he couldn’t move. It was as if his body had become impossibly heavy, like it was made of concrete, so he just sat there, watching them, still as a stone.

After that, he was ten years old, setting the table in the kitchen while his parents danced and sang to each other:

 _Oh, please, say to me_  
_You'll let me be your man_  
_And please, say to me_  
_You'll let me hold your hand_

His mother’s voice faded in and out, like a signal falling out of range. He couldn’t always grab onto his memories of her, but his father’s voice still rang true, crystal-clear, because Shiro’s sounded just like it, now.

_“Shiro?”_

_“Lance?”_

_“Duh! Are you coming?”_

Shiro was in his quarters, sitting on his bunk. He stood up, walked into the bathroom, and found Lance there, leaning against the wall, wearing nothing but a pair of shorts.

 _“What took you so long?”_ Lance pouted. _“It’s so cold in here.”_

 _“I’m sorry,”_ Shiro said. _“I think I was singing.”_

_“Without me?”_

_“I need the practice.”_

_“We’re supposed to practice together.”_

Shiro stepped close to him.

_“What if I make a mistake?”_

Lance smiled. _“The world will come crashing down. But I’ll stay with you, anyway.”_

_“Always?”_

_“If that’s what you want.”_

Shiro raised his hand to Lance’s cheek… and dozens of tiny, jagged lines appeared on his skin, radiating outward from where Shiro was touching him, like fractures in stone.

Like cracks in a wall.

_“Ah… Shiro, it hurts…”_

_“Lance? What’s happening?”_

He couldn’t stop himself. He raised his other hand to the other side of Lance’s face, and cracks started spreading there, too.

“Shiro! Stop!”

He tried to pull his hands away, but they were frozen in place.

“I’m trying! I don’t know how!”

“Stop, Shiro! Wake up!”

“What?”

“You need to wake up!”

Shiro’s eyes flew open. Keith was hovering over him, straddling his torso, holding his wrists over his head, so tight that it hurt. He fought the panic and disorientation, trying to get his bearings.

“Keith? What happened?”

“Are you awake?”

“What? I’m-”

The dream came back to him, all at once, hitting him like a punch to the gut.

“Oh my God… What did I do? WHERE’S LANCE?”

“Shiro… I’m right here.”

Keith shifted his position so Shiro could look over at Lance, who was standing next to the bed, looking stricken.

“What did I do?” Shiro repeated, trying to control the volume of his voice. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Lance said, holding up his hands, his voice shaking a little. “Everything’s fine. You just had a bad dream.”

“I didn’t hurt you?”

“No, you just pushed me away, a little bit, and then you were yelling…”

Keith let go of Shiro’s wrists and slid off of him, seemingly satisfied that he was lucid.

Shiro tried to fill his lungs with air, but there was still a weight on his chest, as if Keith hadn’t moved at all. He scrambled off of the end of the bed, further away from Keith and Lance, and started pacing, trying to force his ribcage to expand and contract, his hands balled into fists. He managed a handful of shuddering breaths before he said, “I need to go. I can’t sleep with you like this. It isn’t safe.”

He couldn’t bring himself to look at them. He turned and headed for the exit, but Keith got in front of him, blocking his path.

“Shiro… just wait, okay? Don’t go. Everything’s fine.”

“It’s not.”

“It is! You just had a nightmare. We know you have nightmares. We want you to stay with us.”

“No. You saw what I did earlier, when I let my guard down. I can’t risk it.”

He tried to push past Keith, but Keith took hold of his shoulder.

“Shiro. We’re together, now. Lance and I get a say.”

“No. Not about this.”

“Yes, about this!” Keith was angry, now. Shiro winced at the sharpness in his tone. “We’re not damsels, Shiro! We’re not in distress! We can handle this together!”

“Keith!” Shiro practically shouted, matching Keith’s tone, hating himself for it. “Do you know what it would do to me if I hurt one of you? I couldn’t LIVE with myself! You have to let me go!”

He tried to move forward again, and Keith blocked his path again.

“God, Shiro, you can be so fucking stubborn-”

“And you can be so fucking _reckless-_ ”

“STOP IT.” Lance stepped between them, put one hand on each of their shoulders, and pushed them away from each other. “YOU’RE OUT OF LINE. APOLOGIZE.” His tone was commanding, but his lower lip was shaking. Tears were falling onto his cheeks.

“Oh, Blue, don’t…”

“Fuck, Lance, I’m so sorry…”

“NOT TO ME, YOU IDIOTS! TO EACH OTHER!”

He glared between them, wiping at his face. Shiro felt himself stabilizing, now that Lance was the one who needed comfort. He forced himself to think, to try to get control over the damage he was doing.

“I’m sorry, Keith,” he said. “I didn’t mean that.”

Keith nodded. “I know. I didn’t either. I’m sorry, too.”

Lance rounded on Shiro. “You don’t get to walk out on us. That can’t be the first thing you try to do every time things get hard. You’re being selfish.”

Shiro nodded slowly. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

“I think it’s time to fight this out,” Keith said. Lance and Shiro stared at him. “Physically, I mean.” He stepped closer to Shiro. “It’s like you keep forgetting who we are. You keep acting like you’re all on your own, here. Like you’re this bomb waiting to go off. Like we’re defenseless, or something.”

Shiro shook his head. “I know you’re not.”

“I meant, against you,” Keith said. “We can take you, Shiro.”

Shiro stared back at him. “So… what? You want to spar? In the middle of the night?”

“I want you to believe that you can let your guard down with us.”

Shiro held up his prosthetic hand. “It’s not a fair fight, Keith.”

“See!” Keith said, gesturing at him. “I knew it. You think you’re unstoppable, or something. You think we can’t match you.”

“I _know_ you can’t,” Shiro said. “I broke your ribs, once. What else do I have to break before you’ll understand?”

Keith closed the gap between them. He held Shiro’s face in his hands.

“I won that fight. I brought you back. And I’m one hundred percent sure I can still kick your ass.”

Shiro relented. He exhaled and pressed his forehead against Keith’s.

“Trust me,” Keith told him. “Trust us.”

Shiro nodded. “I’m trying.”

Keith let him go and went to the panel on the wall. Shiro turned to Lance, and Lance stepped close to him, looking much more composed.

“I’m so sorry I scared you,” Shiro told him.

Lance shook his head. “That’s not why I was upset. I just didn’t expect you to try leave like that, after… after last night.”

Shiro put his hands on Lance’s waist.

“Last night was _incredible._ I didn’t want to leave. I was just trying to keep you safe.”

“Well… stop it,” Lance suggested, teasing, now. He slid his arms around Shiro’s shoulders. “I don’t need you to keep me safe. I need you to stay.”

Shiro nodded. “I’m sorry. I’ll try to do better.”

“I know.” Lance smiled. “I’m still gonna take you down, though.”

Shiro laughed. “You think so?”

“Uh huh.”

They kissed each other while the scenery changed around them. Keith had loaded one of their standard sparring programs, which was little more than an empty room with thick padding on the floor and the walls, ideal for absorbing the impact of falling bodies.

“Okay,” Keith said. “You can make out after we fight. Let’s go.”

Lance giggled, stepping back from Shiro. “Need to blow off some steam, Red?”

“We all do.” Keith pointed at Shiro. “Especially you.”

“Uh… shouldn’t we get our armor?” Shiro asked.

“Nope,” Keith told him. “No armor. And you can use your prosthetic defensively.”

“What? Keith-”

“Rrrrggh SHIRO,” Keith growled. “It’s not a debate! It’s an order! Get in position!”

 Shiro clamped his mouth shut. It was his fault Keith was in a mood, and he kept on making it worse.

 _Trust them,_ he told himself. _Trust them, before you lose them._

He nodded, slipping into a defensive posture.

“Good,” Keith said, rolling his shoulders. “Two-on-one, first. Ready, Lance?”

“So ready.”

“Okay. Let’s start.”

The three of them started circling each other, sizing each other up. Keith and Lance stayed close together, and Shiro was wary. They had grown into a strong team in combat over time, and Shiro guessed they would only be stronger now that they had grown so much closer, now that they knew each other intimately-

They were on him in a flash. Keith rolled for his right leg while Lance made a grab for his left arm, and he knew he had to choose which attack to deflect. He hit Keith with a controlled energy burst from his prosthetic, knocking him on his back. He tried to twist away from Lance, but he knew it was no use; Lance already had his human arm pinned behind his back. He’d be looking for a way to take him to the floor, Shiro had to concentrate on his feet-

 _“Ngh-_ ”

He fell forward onto one knee. Keith had already gotten behind him somehow and swept his leg out from under him, and Lance had both of his arms in a hold, now. He tried to roll, but Keith was already in position: he locked Shiro’s legs in place from the side with both of his own while Lance forced his torso forward, pinning his chest to the floor.

They’d done it easily, elegantly. Shiro was incapacitated, and he took several breaths, enjoying the weight of their bodies on him, the strain of his shoulders where Lance was holding him tight. Enjoying being _held_ , regardless of the circumstances, because he wanted this. He wanted so badly for them to-

“Yield?” Keith asked.

“No,” Shiro said, his cheek pressed against the floor. “I could probably get up, if I used my arm.”

“Do it, then,” Keith said.

Shiro swallowed the argument that tried to escape from his mouth. He needed to show them. But how could he make them understand without hurting them?

He twisted his arm in Lance’s hold and released another energy burst from his palm, sending Lance sprawling. He tried to roll onto his back, but, of course, Keith was ready for that. He was holding one of Shiro’s ankles between his thighs, pressing his hip into Shiro’s lower back, trying to maneuver his artificial arm into a less threatening position-

 _“Mf-_ ” Shiro grunted as Keith managed to straighten his prosthetic away from his body, locking his shoulder in place with both arms.

“Yield?” Keith asked again.

“Uh… no.” Shiro wasn’t sure if he could escape from this hold, and he was certain he didn’t want to. He wanted this – the weight of Keith’s body pressing down on him, the feeling of Keith’s ribcage expanding against his back with every breath. He thought about how he’d practically crushed Lance’s body in his arms in bed – _Tighter,_ Lance had begged _–_ and understanding clicked into place. He _needed_ this. He needed to be overpowered, to feel safe. He was safer than he’d ever been, still and steady in Keith’s arms.

And Keith knew it.

He needed to be sure, though. He needed to _know_ that he couldn’t escape. He reached back with his left hand to try to grab onto Keith’s thigh, but he couldn’t get a stable hold on him. His left leg was bent, his ankle still secure between Keith’s thighs, but his right leg was free… it didn’t matter, though. He couldn’t move it enough to make any difference.

“It’s okay, Shiro. I have you.”

“Keith…”

“I have you.”

Shiro closed his eyes. He matched his breathing to Keith’s, then let his mind go blank, losing himself in the pressure and the calm, focusing on Keith’s strong, solid presence.

“I’m sorry I tried to leave,” he eventually said.

“Try it again, and you’re getting restrained,” Keith said. “Agreed?”

Shiro felt an ache start to bloom below his belly. He nodded against the floor. “Agreed.”

Keith leaned close to his ear. _“Everything’s okay. I love you.”_

_“I love you, too.”_

_“Can you go one more round? I want to see something.”_

_“Yes.”_

_“Okay. Ready for me to get up?”_

Shiro hesitated.

 _“It’s okay,”_ Keith told him. _“We can do this anytime you want.”_

_“Okay.”_

He felt a little off-balance again, as soon as the pressure was gone. He rolled onto his back and let Keith pull him to his feet. Lance was there, standing close by. He put a hand on Shiro’s arm.

“You did great, Shiro. And we’re all fine, right?”

Shiro nodded, smiling at him.

“Nice job with that hold.”

“You liked that?”

“Yup.”

Keith had moved a few feet away from them.

“Can you two start? I need to watch for a minute.”

Shiro put his fingers under Lance’s chin. “Ready?”

Lance raised his eyebrows. “Are you?”

Shiro laughed, and they separated and raised their hands.

“Okay,” Keith said. “Start.”

Lance attacked immediately, and Shiro had to remind himself to block instead of letting Lance take him directly to the floor. The half-second of hesitation cost him, though, and Lance set him off-balance with a restrained kick to his knee. He bent double, grabbing for Shiro’s thigh, gearing up for a single leg takedown, so Shiro hit him with a small energy burst, just enough to send him staggering.

“Stop!” Keith called. They both regained their footing and then paused. “Can you go through that again?”

“The same sequence?” Shiro asked.

“Yeah.”

Shiro turned to Lance. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“Nope. I’m good! Let’s go again.” He was flushed and smiling. His eyes were bright.

“Okay,” Keith said. “Whenever you’re ready.”

They squared off again. Shiro let Lance land his first kick, even though he knew it was coming. He held his balance more easily, though, and he moved to strike Lance back with his prosthetic hand again… except that nothing happened. Lance grabbed his thigh and took him to the floor. Shiro struggled to stay sitting upright, which seemed to suit Lance just fine. He moved around him – _flowed_ , really, like water – and managed to get an arm across Shiro’s chest from behind, wrestling his human arm behind his back, holding his wrist in place. Shiro tried to hit him with another energy pulse… nothing happened. Lance had him in a tight hold, and then Keith was on top of him, straddling his lap, holding his legs still with his knees and his body weight.

“Keith? What-”

“I switched it off,” Keith said, his face dangerously close, his expression _hungry._ He laced his human fingers together with Shiro’s artificial ones. “Go ahead,” he demanded. “Try it.”

“No-”

 _“That’s an order,_ Shiro.”

Shiro stopped struggling. He swallowed. He tried to blast Keith’s hand away from his own.

Nothing happened.

 _“We have you,”_ Keith told him, shifting his hips, creating friction exactly where Shiro was craving it-

 _“Ah-_ ”

 _“Tell me to stop,”_ Keith said. _“If you want me to stop, you have to say it.”_

Shiro blinked at him, his chest straining against the pressure of Lance’s arm, his shoulder aching blissfully in its socket, his cock throbbing under the weight of Keith’s body…

 _“Don’t stop,”_ he begged. _“Please.”_

Keith kissed him _hard_ , grinding his hips down onto Shiro’s clothed erection, holding firmly to the back of his head, squeezing his prosthetic hand so hard that it actually _ached_. Shiro kissed him back hungrily, recklessly, feeling years of longing and restraint coming to an end, finally, _finally_ giving in. Lance’s chest was solid and stable against his back, Lance’s fingertips were digging into his shoulder, Lance’s lips were moving behind his ear-

 _“Mh-_ ” he moaned against Keith’s open mouth, and Keith only kissed him harder, shifting his hips a little, seeking more contact. Then he _rolled_ against Shiro again, and Shiro felt his cock throbbing and straining through the layers of clothing he wanted _gone_. As if answering the thought ( _Was_ he answering the thought?) Keith moved off of his lap and took hold of his waistband. Lance was supporting the weight of his entire upper body, so Shiro lifted his hips easily, staring while Keith pulled his pants and shorts off and tossed them aside. His cock bobbed against his stomach as soon as it was free, swollen and heavy and leaking beads of precum, and Keith wasted absolutely no time; he shifted easily onto his belly between Shiro’s thighs, wrapped his fingers around the base of his cock, and lapped the precum from his slit with the flat of his tongue.

 _“Mmh-_ ” Shiro moaned, letting his cheek rest against Lance’s hand, which was still holding tight to his shoulder, his arm wrapped snugly across his chest.

 _“Want me to let you go?”_ Lance murmured, close to his ear.

 _“God, no, Lance… Ah-_ ” Keith was stroking his foreskin, tracing his head slowly with his tongue. _“Stay, okay? I need you.”_

_“Okay. I will. You’re safe.”_

Lance tightened his hold on him at the same time that Keith pulled the head of his cock into his mouth, and the combined sensation left Shiro dizzy and blinking and open-mouthed. Keith looked up at him - his cheeks flushed, his hair falling messily into his face - then pulled him deep, his jaw opening wide to accommodate Shiro’s thickness, his own moaning vibrating around Shiro’s pulsing cock, low and gritty, like a growl.

 _“Ah- hah-_ ” Shiro gasped, arching against Lance’s chest. He felt Lance shudder and shift and press against him, felt the hard mound of his cock digging into his lower back.

 _“I’m sorry…”_ Lance whispered. _“I can’t help it… God, Shiro, you’re so… mh…”_

Lance was mouthing at his neck again, rocking against him, holding him impossibly tight. Shiro tipped his head backward, nuzzling against Lance’s cheek, trying to figure out how to string a sentence together while Keith’s tongue was swirling around the head of his cock.

 _“Mh- Lance- let go of my wrist,”_ he managed. _“Hh- ah- hold my shoulder instead.”_

Lance slipped easily into the new hold, and Shiro flexed and unflexed his fingers, his wrist stiff from being held behind his back. Then he forced himself to concentrate and put his hand on Lance’s body, feeling blindly until he found what he was looking for. He squeezed Lance’s erection through his clothes – he shuddered and moaned when Lance whimpered against his neck – then he tugged down on Lance’s pants until he felt his cock spring free against his back. The angle was awkward, but he guessed it wouldn’t matter – Lance sounded like he was halfway gone already – so he took hold of Lance’s cock as best he could. It glided easily against his hand, precum coating his palm and fingers, and Lance _rolled_ his hips against him, stifling a moan into his hair.

 _“That’s right, baby,”_ Shiro told him. _“Just like that.”_

Lance bucked into his hand again, mumbling something Shiro couldn’t quite catch.

_“Huh?”_

_“Say it again…”_

_“Oh.”_ Shiro tipped head back again, feeling for Lance’s mouth, kissing his lips lightly. _“Baby… you’re so beautiful.”_ He kissed him again, and Lance whimpered against his mouth. _“I love you, Lance.”_

He felt a loss of contact and looked down to find Keith staring back at him, breathing shallow, looking awestruck. He moved onto his knees and then into Shiro’s lap again – he’d discarded his own pants, too, at some point – and then he slid his hand around the back of Shiro’s head.

_“You told him?”_

Shiro nodded, smiling. Keith put his other hand on Lance’s cheek.

_“He told you?”_

Lance nodded, biting his lower lip, his cheeks flushed with pink, his arms braced tight around Shiro’s chest and shoulder. Keith kissed him for a long moment while Shiro basked in the beauty of it, dizzy and aching and hopelessly in love.

_“I love you, Blue. I love you both.”_

_“We love you, too,”_ Lance told him.

Keith nodded, then pressed his forehead against Shiro’s and wrapped his hand around both their cocks, smoothing saliva and precum until they were gliding against his curled fingers and Shiro’s stomach. He thrusted.

 _“Hah!”_ Shiro gasped. _“Oh- oh, holy shit-_ ”

 _“I want you to make you come like this,”_ Keith told him.

 _“Ah- yes- please-_ ”

Keith started rolling his hips in earnest, fucking both their cocks into his hand, against Shiro’s stomach. Shiro’s eyes fell closed – he couldn’t help it, every inch of his body felt like it was pulsing with stimulation – but he kept his hold on Lance’s cock, squeezing intermittently. Lance had been rocking against him hesitantly, but now he was matching Keith’s pace, fucking into Shiro’s hand – against his back – his breathing hot and ragged and _lovely_ against Shiro’s neck. Shiro kissed Keith’s lips, then tilted his head toward Lance, nosing at his cheek again.

_“Lance?”_

_“Mmh?”_

_“Tighter?”_

Lance whimpered, then _squeezed_ , and Shiro saw stars around the edges of his vision while his body tensed for release – while Keith sucked on his neck and fucked against his cock-

 _“Perfect…”_ he told Lance, with a breath he could barely hold in his lungs. _“Mh- you did everything perfect, baby…_ ”

Lance’s hips stuttered – he pressed his face against Shiro’s cheek – and then he came with a broken whimper, holding Shiro even tighter, vibrating from his shoulders to his knees-

 _“Shiro…”_ That was Keith, mouthing at the shell of his ear. _“Your turn. I have you. Come for me.”_

Shiro closed his eyes, hovering inside the mounting friction between them, letting the moment stretch for just a little longer, because he was pressed between the people he loved. He was alive inside his body, he was safe, he was someone, he was _theirs_. And when he finally came, it lasted and lasted, because Keith was still thrusting against him – Keith was strong and wild and _his_ – and then Keith was shuddering, and then rocking, and then still, his hammering heartbeat echoing in Shiro’s chest, and Lance’s, too.

 _“Lance,”_ Shiro whispered, as soon as he remembered how to speak.

_“Mm?”_

_“Let go, okay? Come over here.”_

Lance finally loosened his hold on Shiro and moved clumsily around him. Keith wobbled off of his lap and straddled his thigh instead, then bent down to lap the cum off of Shiro’s still-sensitive cock.

 _“Ooh- okay- whoa-_ ”

Shiro shuddered and pulled Lance closer, riding the aftershocks until Keith was finished. Keith moved on to his belly next, licking slowly, almost savoring, Shiro thought.

“You like the taste?” he asked softly.

Keith nodded, then continued, licking in long strokes from Shiro’s lower stomach to his belly button.

“God, that’s so hot,” Lance said. Shiro nodded.

“Fucking incredible.”

Keith smiled mid-lick, finished cleaning Shiro’s stomach, then turned his attention to Lance, who was leaning against Shiro, straddling his other thigh. He pressed a handful of kisses against Lance’s hip, then pulled his cock into his mouth and held it there, sucking gently with his lips and tongue.

“Oh my _God,_ that’s _so hot…_ ” Lance moaned again, and Keith let him go, laughing. He straightened up and put his arms around Lance and Shiro, burying his face against Lance’s neck, breathing deeply. Shiro held them both close and did the same, noticing the pleasant burn in his chest from Lance’s crushing hold, and the way Keith had transformed from hard and strong and commanding to gentle and oh-so-sweet, and the way Lance clung to both of them, like he was desperate to hold them all together.

Shiro cleared his throat.

“Guys?”

They looked at him, sleepily, lovingly.

“Uhm. I just needed to say-” His voice broke. _Already?_ He hadn’t even made it through the first part, yet. “I… I didn’t think this would ever be possible, for me. I didn’t think…” He sniffed. “I didn’t think I could _feel_ the way you make me feel.”

They were nodding, and Keith was wiping Shiro’s tears away from his face, which was lucky, because Shiro was still holding them tight, and he had no intention of letting them go.

“So thank you,” he managed, just barely. “For being patient, for not giving up on me… and I _know_ , I shouldn’t have tried to leave, before, but I wasn’t leaving _you_. I wouldn’t do that. I won’t. I promise, I won’t-”

They hugged him while he cried, and they went on hugging him after he’d stopped, and when they eventually got back into bed, they left their clothes behind.


	13. Mornings Like This

Keith’s eyes flew open when his communicator started vibrating the next morning. It was on his right wrist, which was pinned between his stomach and Shiro’s, so he shifted a bit, lifting it slowly to switch it off. He’d set it early on purpose, and he intended to make the most of the time he had left before he needed to get up.

He wasn’t sure whether he’d become aware of his freshly formed bond with Shiro in his sleep, or whether he’d acknowledged it as a natural extension of the closeness that had already existed between them. Either way, the urge to bury his face against Shiro’s neck wasn’t surprising. He still had his head tucked under Shiro’s chin, so he tilted it upward a tiny bit and breathed deeply. He shuddered from head to toe, indulging, since no one was awake to see him, noticing the very real physiological response he was having to Shiro’s presence, to his particular scent.

He was halfway hard, moving toward a full-blown erection. That was the most obvious thing. He was salivating, swallowing frequently to keep up with it, and he felt _hot,_ in his face, and his chest, and his groin. He felt jittery, too – restless, despite the fact that he’d just woken up – and rather than feeling satisfied by the _absolute perfection_ of the encounter they’d had only a handful of hours ago, he found that he was craving sex, more than ever. The urge to _thrust_ was primal, instinctive, like the urge to gasp for air after being trapped too long underwater.

Of course, he knew he could wrestle it into submission. He had two partners who needed time, and he had no intention of letting his sex drive rule or ruin things between them. He wasn’t an _animal._ He could control himself.

But he had to admit that it was getting more difficult, and he knew he would be on edge until he could figure out some kind of solution. Like hauling Lance’s legs over his shoulders and… _No._ Like grinding his hips between Shiro’s thighs until…

He sighed.

He took a slow breath, hoping to be calmed, but Shiro’s scent only filled and surrounded him further, and he had to bite his lower lip to stop himself from grinding against Shiro’s naked body.

_Fuck._

He tried to analyze the scent, thinking that might help him stay more objective, and as soon as he concentrated on it, he realized that something about it had been bothering him. Lance’s smell had seemed naturally occurring: fruity and salty, like much of the food they had been eating on this planet. But now that he was thinking about it… did _sunlight_ have a smell? Why did that idea cross his mind, whenever he had his face pressed against Lance’s skin? Shiro’s smell was like that, too… sun-baked earth… worn leather… maple syrup? Those were _not_ naturally occurring smells. They were-

_Oh._

_“Shiro,”_ he whispered. He made a small space between them so he could see Shiro’s face. He stroked Shiro’s hip.

Shiro smiled.

 _“Rogan,”_ he said. He opened his eyes.

Keith kissed him, because he _had_ to, and it was slow, and sleepy, and perfect.

 _“Hey,”_ he said. _“I have to go soon. But I figured something out.”_

 _“Yeah?”_ Shiro was still trying to blink himself awake. He put his hand on Keith’s side and stroked up and down his body, from his ribcage to his hip. _“What is it?”_

_“It’s… I… fuck-”_

Keith had to close his eyes. He pressed his face against his pillow and rode out the full-body shudder he was helpless to suppress. He opened his eyes a tiny bit, his face scrunched up with embarrassment, and peeked at Shiro’s expression.

 _“Really?”_ Shiro asked, fully awake now. _“Just from… oh! Did we bond? Are we bonded?”_

Keith nodded, biting his lower lip, smiling at Shiro’s blatant excitement.

_“Wow. That’s… that’s amazing. I was hoping…”_

Keith nodded again. _“Me, too.”_

_“So what’s it smell like?”_

_“That’s what I was going to say, it’s-”_ He shivered uncontrollably again; Shiro had just moved his hand onto his hip. _“Fuck, I… I can’t think, when you do that.”_

 _“Oh.”_ Shiro pulled his hand away, and Keith felt an unpleasant surge of anger, frustration, and sadness. He fought against it, trying to remember what he’d been about to say.

 _“It’s not a smell,”_ he said. _“Or… well… it kind of is. But the smell isn’t really on your body. You’re just the trigger. The scents are actually sensory memories.”_

Shiro looked confused. _“But Lance smelled like… pineapple, and…”_

 _“Sunlight?”_ Keith asked. _“What does sunlight smell like?”_

 _“Huh.”_ Shiro nodded. _“You’re pretty fucking brilliant, you know that?”_

Keith gripped at his pillow, fighting off the urge to crush Shiro between his body and the mattress, shifting uncomfortably under Shiro’s gaze.

 _“So… do you want me to keep pretending to ignore your giant erection, or…?”_ Shiro teased. Keith buried his face in the pillow again and groaned.

_“I can’t help it.”_

_“I probably can.”_

Keith looked at him, desperate to give in, not knowing if he should. _“I… I need to go, soon-”_

_“Doesn’t look like it’ll take very long.”_

_“But-”_

_“Lance,”_ Shiro prompted. Lance’s arm was wrapped around his chest. Shiro reached back and stroked his bare skin. _“Hey. Lance. Wake up.”_

_“Mmf?”_

Lance’s tousled hair and blinking eyes appeared over Shiro’s shoulder.

_“What is it?”_

_“Keith needs us.”_

Lance sat up a little more.

“Keith? Are you- oh, holy shit, I guess so, huh?”

Keith groaned again. “I know, and I can’t help it, okay? I really tried. _Fuck.”_

Lance flowed easily over Shiro’s body and climbed on top of Keith, pinning his wrists to the bed.

“Yeah,” he said, bumping Keith’s nose with his own. “I hate it when people get uncontrollably aroused in my presence. You suck.”

“ _You_ suck,” Keith said, wrapping his legs around Lance’s hips, pressing their bodies together.

“ _Oh-_ Is that an invitation? It wasn’t very polite.”

“Uhm,” Keith mumbled, his thoughts growing disjointed now that Lance was pressing against him, now that Keith was breathing in the smell of him. “You suck, but I love you?”

Lance raised an eyebrow. “Better? I think?”

Keith struggled against his hold. “It wasn’t an invitation, I… I need you to stay up here…”

Lance shifted, letting go of his wrists, and Keith slid his arms around his back, pulling himself up, pressing his face into the crook of Lance’s neck, inhaling deeply.

 _“Fuck, Blue…”_ He mumbled, kissing and tasting, grinding himself against Lance’s stomach, feeling Shiro’s fingertips moving over his back. _“Shiro… mh…”_

There was no use fighting it, now. He could sense their arousal, their desire. He could feel the focus of their sexual energy as plainly as he could feel their hands on his body. There was nothing to rule or ruin. Their affection and willingness were overflowing. All he needed to do was submit.

He felt Shiro’s lips on the back of his neck, and he slid one arm around him and kissed his way along Lance’s shoulder until he got to Shiro’s. Then he practically dove at the space under Shiro’s ear, inhaling deeply, moaning incoherent syllables, shuddering from head to toe.

“Wow,” Lance murmured. “The bonding thing kicked in, huh?”

Keith could only nod and moan as he started sucking intermittently at Shiro’s neck.

“Okay. Keep doing that. Lay down on your side, though.”

He was only vaguely aware of Lance manipulating his body – his senses had gone haywire, he felt like a ball of unfocused heat and energy – but then Lance’s chest was flush against his back, and Lance’s knee was pressed up between his thighs, and Lance was _grinding_ against him-

_“Ah! Hah!”_

Shiro’s prosthetic fingers were tight in his hair, Shiro was forcing his head back so he could look in his eyes-

_“Can I touch you?”_

Keith nodded, vaguely grateful that he was pressed so tightly between their bodies, because he knew he must be coming apart at the seams-

 _“Fuck, Red, you feel so good…”_ Lance’s mouth was on his shoulder, Lance’s hand was caressing his hip, then holding him steady while he shuddered. _“You can bond with Shiro, now, too… are you so happy?”_

Keith nodded against Shiro’s neck, whimpering.

 _“I love it when you’re happy,”_ Lance told him _“I love you.”_

Keith thought the light inside his body might tear him apart.

 _“Ready?”_ Shiro whispered.

 _“Shiro…”_ Keith moaned.

The energy collapsed into a single focused point as Shiro wrapped his fingers around Keith’s cock.

 _“Mmhah!”_ Keith practically yelled, his limbs going rigid as Shiro started to stroke. Shiro had been right, this wouldn’t take long, and Keith silently thanked the universe while he pressed his face against Shiro’s shoulder, because his whole body was screaming _release or death-_

 _“Keith… mh… you’re so wet,”_ Shiro told him, touching him in long, even strokes. _“God, it’s so sexy… you’re so sexy…”_

Keith knew what he was talking about. It had happened once before, when he’d been going down on Lance: a rush of precum, much more than he was used to, making him slick before he came, just from grinding against the bed while he held Lance’s cock in his mouth.

Of course, the task of explaining this was beyond him, just now. He only whimpered in response.

 _“Can I feel?”_ Lance breathed, close to his ear.

 _“Mhm…”_ Keith mumbled.

He felt Lance’s hand moving from his hip to his lower belly, and then down. Then Lance was stroking him, instead of Shiro-

 _“Fuck, Red, that’s so hot…”_ Lance was hard, too. Keith could feel his cock, hot and throbbing against his lower back. _“I could touch you back here…”_ He _pressed_ his knee up against Keith’s groin, and Keith shook. _“Do you want me to?”_

Keith nodded.

_“Say yes, Red.”_

_“Hh- huh- YES-”_ He choked out.

_“Fuuuck fuck okay…”_

Lance’s hand was gone – Keith thought he might actually die, in that instant – but then Shiro took his place again, grasping firmly, moving in confident strokes, while Lance’s warm, slick fingers brushed against his opening-

 _“Aah…”_ Keith heard himself say, right before Lance slid a finger inside him. _“NHAH! FUCK!”_

_“You okay?”_

_“Ngh- don’t- don’t stop-”_

Lance _pulsed_ while Shiro _stroked_ and it was almost too much – or maybe it wasn’t quite enough – so Keith started rocking his hips, like he’d been dying to do, fucking himself on their hands while they kissed him and held him, though it was clumsy and difficult, because he was tense and aching-

 _“M-more-”_ he managed, pleading, and Shiro picked up the pace while Lance shifted his finger and _pressed-_

_“Hhah AHH-”_

The orgasm hit like a thunderclap. Keith curled into a ball, shaking uncontrollably, his midsection a focal point of heat and pressure that was breaking in waves, easing in stages, while Shiro and Lance anchored him in place.

And then the shaking started to slow, until it had stopped altogether. A feeling of unparalleled calm bloomed inside Keith’s chest, spreading upward to his face, outward to his fingertips, downward to his toes. He took a long, slow breath and uncurled his limbs. He opened his eyes, held Shiro’s cheek and Lance’s hip, and said,

_“Thank you.”_

* * *

 

“Do you really think Kosmo cares about seeing you naked?”

“Fuck, Lance, did you hide my shorts?”

“I mean, he’s a wolf, he’s naked all the time-”

“ _Lance-_ ”

“No, I didn’t hide your shorts, but I wish I had!”

“Oh my God, I’m so late, you’re no help-”

Keith was digging through the pile of clothes at the foot of the bed, looking for something to wear.

“Well, unless you want Kosmo to see my epic boner, I’m staying under the covers.”

“Shit, right, _sorry_.” Keith looked genuinely apologetic as he pulled on a pair of shorts that obviously belonged to Shiro, because they were at least two sizes too big. “Kosmo!” he called. The wolf appeared in a flash of light, eyed him disdainfully, and yipped.

“I know, I’m a mess, and I’m late,” Keith said. He looked at Lance and Shiro. “I’m sorry I have to go.”

“It’s okay,” Shiro told him. “We’ll be here when you get back.”

“Kosmo, shower, like, _now,”_ Keith said, and they disappeared together.

“Wow,” Lance said. “That was-”

Keith and Kosmo reappeared in the same spot.

“Listen,” Keith said. “You two can… I mean, you should… get close. Even if I’m not here. I promise, it’s what I want. Just… save the person-inside-person sex until we’re all together. Everything else is on the table. Okay?” He looked longingly between them. “I love you.” He put his hand on Kosmo’s head, and they disappeared again.

Lance hugged a pillow, rolled onto his stomach, and pressed himself against the bed, groaning a little. He’d been trying to make light of his throbbing arousal, but, of course, Keith had felt the need to pop back in here and remind him that he was _naked in bed with Shiro-_

“Lance?”

“Mm?” He peeked at Shiro over the blankets he’d gathered around himself.

“Keith meant what he said, but you and I get to decide what happens between us, okay?” Shiro smiled reassuringly. “If you want me to stay over here, I’ll stay over here. You have nothing to worry about.”

Lance watched his eyes, trying to figure out how to explain what he was feeling.

“I didn’t want to be alone with Keith because I thought it would make you sad,” he finally blurted. “And also because…” He swallowed. “I didn’t want things to feel… unbalanced.”

Shiro nodded. “I know. I understand.”

“But things _were_ unbalanced,” Lance went on. “You and Keith… you have so much history… and I don’t think I could do this, if you didn’t… if you and I weren’t… close.”

Shiro held out his hand from across the bed, and Lance took it.

“I want to be close to you, too,” Shiro said.

“But I don’t want to do anything that would make Keith feel left out.”

“Me neither.”

Lance felt himself relax, a little. “So what should we do?”

Shiro stroked the back of his hand with his thumb.

“Well… Keith really likes it when I kiss you. So I could do that. Would that be okay?”

Lance thought about it.

“Yes.”

He moved close to Shiro and laid down on the pillow next to him, keeping the blankets draped around his waist. Shiro kissed him once, lightly, then smiled and laid down next to him again. Lance raised his hand, hesitated, then traced the line of his collarbone with the tip of his finger.

“Lance… you know, ‘balanced’ and ‘equal’ don’t necessarily mean the same thing,” Shiro said, reaching up to brush a lock of hair away from his forehead. “If there are things you want to do with Keith, and not with me… or, if there are things you only want to do when all three of us are together, then that’s perfectly fine. All three of us get to have boundaries if we need them. Okay?”

Lance nodded, letting his hand rest on the side of Shiro’s neck. “Do you have new boundaries? Now that we’re… naked?”

Shiro laughed.

“Uh… I think they’re the same as Keith’s. I don’t think we should have sex unless we’re all together. Not at first, anyway.”

“Do you want to, though? When we’re all together?”

“Yes.”

“With me?”

“Yes. So much, Lance.”

He let the words take root, allowing previously-suppressed imaginings to drift to the surface of his mind, thinking about the absolute perfection of the person laying next to him. He flowed on top of Shiro, straddling his hips.

“Like this?”

Shiro’s eyelids fluttered. He put his hands on Lance’s thighs, _touching_ rather than _holding_.

“This would be perfect. Or…” His cheeks started to flush a little. He cleared his throat. “I was thinking… the same way we were sleeping, last night?”

Lance pictured it, remembering how it had felt to press himself against the curves of Shiro’s body…

“Oh!” His eyes went wide. “You want _me_ to-?”

Shiro nodded, his cheeks fully red, now. “Only if you want to.”

“Are you kidding? I mean, _wow_ , that would be amazing… but, oh my God, I don’t even know _how…”_

Shiro stroked his hips with his fingertips.

“Do you trust me?”

“You know I do.”

“Okay.” He put his right hand on the mattress next to them. “Lay down right here. Facing that way.”

Lance kissed him, first, moving in a slow exploration of his bottom lip while Shiro traced over the muscles of his back. Then he slid off of Shiro’s body and laid down next to him, facing the wall.

He felt Shiro’s human hand resting on his hip for a moment, and then the length of Shiro’s body was pressing against him from behind. Lance bent his legs a bit, and Shiro curved around him, hugging his body perfectly, like they were made to fit together like this. Shiro slid an arm around him, kissing the back of his neck, caressing him from his chest to his belly, and Lance sighed and let his eyes fall shut.

 _“I would make it so easy for you, Lance,”_ Shiro murmured, close to his ear. _“Can I show you?”_

Lance nodded, feeling his heart rate start to climb.

 _“It feels so good, when you do this for me,”_ Shiro told him, tracing slow patterns across his stomach. _“I love it when you’re so sweet. I love how your hands feel.”_

Lance felt himself go rigid all over again. Shiro’s voice was soft and sincere, his kindness overwhelming. How did he always know exactly what Lance needed to hear?

 _“You could touch me like this…”_ Shiro’s hand moved from his belly to his side, then grasped onto his hip, holding him steady. _“And you could move just like this…”_ He _rolled_ his hips against the curve of Lance’s ass, his hardness pressing into the soft skin, there. Lance exhaled and pressed back to meet him, covering Shiro’s hand with his own. _“You could go as slow as you want.”_ Shiro rolled his hips again. _“I just want to know what you feel like. I just want to be close to you, baby.”_

Lance moaned aloud, caught between the fantasy and the reality- between the dream of making love to Shiro, and the very real sensation of Shiro’s fingertips resting along the crease of his hip…

He pulled on Shiro’s hand and pressed it against his aching hardness.

 _“That’s it, baby.”_ Shiro wrapped his fingers around Lance’s cock and _stroked_. _“I’ll take care of you, like you take care of me.”_

 _“Ah- Ashi-_ ” Lance let slip, a piece of a private fantasy he’d almost forgotten. Shiro rumbled a low moan into his hair.

_“Say it again.”_

_“Ashi,”_ Lance breathed, moving his hips in time with Shiro’s stroking hand, reaching behind him for Shiro’s hardness… he took hold of it and stroked, and Shiro exhaled, his breathing hot and shallow behind Lance’s ear.

 _“Ah- I- I love that…”_ Shiro murmured. _“So sweet, baby… you’re so… nh… so sweet…”_

He was starting to unravel, and Lance was coming undone right along with him. Shiro – brave, powerful, perfect Shiro – was _right here,_ pressed up against him, touching him, _wanting_ him-

 _“Ashi…“_ Lance moaned, right on the brink, stroking Shiro’s length again and again. _“I want… I want you to come… please-_ ”

That was all it took. Lance felt Shiro’s cheek press against his own while his hips stuttered and rocked, his hand still stroking clumsily, _perfectly-_

_“Oh… God… Lance…”_

Lance fell over the edge right along with him, spilling all over Shiro’s hand. He pressed himself tight against Shiro’s body, intertwining their legs and ankles, desperate for every inch of closeness he could get. He felt a _tug_ at the edges of his mind-

 _“Baby-_ ”

 _“Mh-_ ”

 _“Let me show you-_ ”

He let himself be pulled, let Shiro’s mind surround him, until he was lost inside an echo chamber of pleasure, Shiro’s breaking orgasm mirroring his own…

He whimpered and shook.

Shiro climbed on top of him and held him, crushing his body against the bed – he was shaking, too – and Lance wrapped his legs around his hips, letting Shiro’s trust and devotion overwhelm him while they shuddered as one body, sighing as with a single set of lungs.

They held each other for a long time.

Shiro kissed every inch of Lance he could reach without sitting up.

Lance memorized the feeling of Shiro’s hips against his inner thighs.

They basked in the warm, soothing hum of each other’s bliss.

Then, eventually, Shiro rolled them both over so that Lance was straddling his waist, again, and they laughed together, committing the sound of it to memory, something they could hold and keep for darker days ahead.

“Does it feel different from how you remember it?” Lance asked, moving Shiro’s arms over his head, just to see the lines of his body change.

Shiro nodded.

“It feels new, all over again. Maybe because of this body, or maybe because I’m just… different, than I used to be. I’ve never been close, like this. Like I am with you and Keith.”

“I know. I felt it. That was…” Lance shook his head. “I didn’t know I could feel anything like that.”

“I just thought… well, this bonding thing, with Keith? It seems so powerful. So I thought maybe you and I could have something powerful, too.”

Lance nodded. “I think we do.” He traced the inside of Shiro’s prosthetic arm, from his shoulder to his wrist, where it was resting over his head.

“Shiro… I have to ask you something, and I’m hoping you can stay really calm after I do, okay?”

Shiro looked concerned. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. It’s just… is Keith still controlling your prosthetic?”

“What? No, he…” His eyes went wide. “Oh my God, Lance-”

“Shiro. Calm, remember? I’m fine. We’re both fine-”

“Lance, I’m sorry, I just _forgot_. I was so… and you felt so _good_ -”

“I know, it’s all right-”

“No, it’s not, you saw what I did to the wall-”

“Ashi.”

Shiro stopped talking. Lance leaned close to him until their noses were almost touching.

“How were you feeling before you broke the wall?” He was holding Shiro’s wrists in place over his head, applying gentle pressure.

“You know how I was feeling. I had a panic attack.”

Lance nodded. “And what do you think I would do if you had a panic attack while we were fooling around?”

Shiro took a slow breath.

“You would stop. You would figure out how to help. You would… you would keep us both safe.”

“Right.” Lance kissed the tip of his nose. “I know this is hard. I know you can’t trust me all at once, just because I tell you to. So I’ll just keep reminding you. And we can keep on… practicing.”

He smiled.

Shiro smiled back.

 

* * *

 

 “You should look in the mirror.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Yes! You look hilarious! You look like that guy!”

“What guy?”

“You know…” Lance rolled his hips to one side, curled his lip, and said, _“Thank you- Thank you very much…”_

Shiro burst out laughing. “Elvis?!”

“YES! HIM!”

Lance put his hands in Shiro’s hair again, smoothing the shampoo lather so that his fringe curled at the end.  “Oh man, it’s so perfect, you _need_ to come see…”

He took hold of Shiro’s hand and led him out of the shower – it was just a stone enclosure, only partially walled off – and into the larger space of Lance’s bathroom. They stood in front of the mirror together, dripping water all over the floor, naked, covered in suds, and laughing.

“See?!” Lance said, wiping some soap away from Shiro’s forehead. Shiro nodded.

“I look like my dad. And he kind of looked like Elvis… sounded like him, too, sometimes.”

“He was a singer?”

“Not by profession, or anything, but yeah. He was great.” Shiro laughed again, looking wistful. “I probably know the words to every single Elvis song.”

“SING ONE RIGHT NOW!” Lance demanded, excited, but shivering in the cool air of the open space.

“Okay, okay…” Shiro said. “Warm up first, though…”

He pulled Lance back into the shower, put his arms around him, and stood him under the running water.

“Stay there and get warm,” he said, brushing Lance’s dripping hair away from his forehead.

“Sing, Shiro!”

Shiro tickled him under his chin. “So impatient.”

Lance giggled and tickled down his side. “After this morning? You’re the impatient one, Ashi.”

Shiro caught his hand and kissed the inside of his wrist. “You might be right about that.” He took a small step back. “Okay, so, I used to be able to do a decent Elvis impression. But you can’t tell _anyone_ except Keith.”

Lance had to resist the urge to jump up and down. “I won’t! I won’t! I promise!”

“Okay.” He took a breath. Then he bent both his knees, raised one arm over his head, arranged his expression in a playful sneer, and sang:

 

_Lord Almighty_

_I feel my temperature rising_

_Higher and higher_

_It’s burning through to my soul_

Lance actually _did_ jump up and down, clapping and laughing.

“Shiro! That’s fucking amazing!”

Shiro slipped out of the exaggerated stance and put both hands over his face.

“Oh my God,” he said, peeking through his fingers. “I can’t believe I just did that.”

Lance stepped close to him, pulled his hands away from his face, and held on to them.

“Naked, too,” he teased. “You get extra points for that.”

Shiro raised an eyebrow. “Points? What do I win?”

Lance smiled. “Anything you want.”

Shiro nodded, blushing a little. “Okay. You choose. Tell me something I don’t know about you.”

“Sure. Just let me think. Here, you’re getting soap everywhere…”

He pulled Shiro under the water, cupping his hand over his forehead to keep more suds from running into his eyes, rinsing his hair clean. He took his time, just like he’d done when he’d been lathering suds into Shiro’s hair in the first place, memorizing the way Shiro closed his eyes and sighed while he was being touched. Shiro loved this, practically craved it, and it was a wholly new experience for Lance, to be wanted, like this.

Shiro opened his eyes when the suds were gone. He took hold of one of Lance’s wrists, brought his hand to his lips, and slowly kissed his palm.

“Thank you, Lance.”

Lance let his hand rest on Shiro’s cheek. “I’ve never done this with anyone before. It’s… I love it.”

Shiro nodded. “I love it, too.”

Lance kissed his lips, briefly, just once- unable to resist, but unwilling to let things escalate between them again. His whole being was aching for it, but he knew it wouldn’t feel right until Keith’s hands were on him, too.

“Okay,” he said, setting the notion aside as best he could. “I thought of something.” He took a step backward, pulling Shiro with him, then put both of Shiro’s hands on his waist. “Hang on to me so I don’t slip.”

Shiro nodded, concentrating.

Lance put all his weight on his right leg and leaned forward toward Shiro’s chest. He raised his left leg backward, grabbing onto his ankle with both hands, and then pulled it upward until his heel was almost touching the back of his head. He checked for balance and found that he felt stable enough.

“Okay. Let go.”

Shiro did, and Lance straightened his torso vertically, then stood up tall on the ball of his right foot and pulled his left ankle even higher, until he was holding his leg in a perfect backward arch, with his heel above his head.

“Wow,” Shiro breathed. “Ballet?”

“Uh huh.” Lance wobbled a little, and Shiro took hold of his waist again so he could put both feet back on the floor. “When I was younger. I really liked it, but I didn’t have time to keep up with it after I started training to be a pilot.”

“It’s so beautiful, Lance. Will you show me more, later? Keith too? He’ll want to see.”

Lance smiled. “If you sing for me, some more.”

Shiro nodded.

“I have another song. Will you sing with me, if you know it?”

“Yeah. Of course I will.”

“Okay. Uhm.” Shiro fidgeted for a moment, and Lance waited patiently. “It’s been a while, so…”

Shiro hugged him close – hiding his face, Lance guessed – and then he cleared his throat, and started to sing. His voice was quiet and smooth, and the long, lovely notes filled the small enclosure while Lance melted against him, feeling the vibration as if Shiro’s chest were his own.

 

_Wise men say_

_Only fools rush in_

_But I can’t help falling in love with you_

 

Lance was up on his tiptoes, resting his chin on Shiro’s shoulder.

_“Don’t stop. Please.”_

Shiro pulled Lance’s left hand from around his neck and held it. He made a small space between them, moving his other hand to Lance’s hip. Lance looked up at him, blinking water droplets from his eyelashes, trying to remember the last time he’d danced with someone, feeling certain that he’d never danced like _this_ before. Shiro looked back at him, his cheeks tinged with pink, and started to sing again. His voice was a little louder, a little more confident, so smooth and lilting that Lance was utterly hypnotized. They swayed.

 

_Take my hand,_

_Take my whole life too_

Lance knew the melody. He joined in for the last line.

 

_For I can’t help falling in love with you_

 

Shiro’s smile took up most of his face.

“You can sing, too?”

Lance shook his head. “Not like you. That was… beautiful. You should sing every day. All the time.”

“I used to. I haven’t had anything to sing about for a long time.”

“What’s your favorite song?”

Shiro’s cheeks reddened. “You might think it’s silly.”

“I won’t. I promise.”

They were still swaying slowly.

“Okay. Um… it’s _Somewhere Over the Rainbow._ My dad used to sing it to my mom, and then my grandmother would sing it to me, after… after they died.”

Lance knew Shiro had lost his parents when he was young. It was one of the things that had come up in their early days of piloting together, when all of the paladins had been getting to know each other better. Shiro hadn’t seemed upset when the topic was raised, though he hadn’t given any details, which hadn’t been surprising at the time. Shiro had kept most of his personal thoughts and feelings to himself, back then. Lance had never seen him speak as freely as he had been over the last couple of days.

“Do you want to tell me about it?” he prompted.

“Yes.” Shiro hugged him close again, resting his chin on his shoulder.

“They were both first responders,” he said, his voice quiet. “EMTs. That’s how they met. They didn’t usually work the same shift when I was growing up, but on that particular day…” He paused for a moment. He cleared his throat. “A bridge collapsed. Everyone had to be on call, for a disaster like that. They were pulling people out of the wreckage, and…” He tightened his arms around Lance’s waist. “There was an explosion.”

Lance pressed his lips behind Shiro’s ear.

“I’m so sorry, Shiro.”

They breathed together.

“I was really angry for a while,” Shiro eventually said, “but not for too long. They always told me they cared about doing something important. Something that would put goodness into the world.” He stroked Lance’s lower back with his fingertips. “They loved each other a lot, and me. I was lucky to have them for as long as I did.”

Lance was watching water droplets run from Shiro’s hair down the back of his neck.

“My parents are like that, too,” he said. “The whole ‘goodness into the world’ thing. They always said they’d have a million kids if they could. My dad would say that he loved my mom too much to stop making babies, and my brothers would get all grossed out, and my mom would pretend to get so mad, but I think she really loved it when he said stuff like that.” He made a face. “ _Loves_ it, I mean. She really loves it.”

Shiro took a small step back so they could see each other’s eyes.

“I believe we’re going to make it back,” he said. “For whatever that’s worth.”

Lance nodded. “It’s worth a lot.”

Shiro put his fingers under his chin and kissed his lips, and Lance let him, because it felt sweet and safe. They went on kissing each other while Shiro fumbled with the shower control and led Lance back to the living space. They dried each other off and dressed each other in shorts, and Lance marveled at the fact that it already felt natural for them to move through intimate moments like this, together. Was it because they’d been friends for so long? Or because they’d spent time sifting through each other’s private thoughts?

Or were they simply suited to each other in ways that Lance hadn’t previously thought possible?

“Your hips!” Shiro said, suddenly, startling him.

“My… what?” Lance looked down at his midsection.

“No, sorry, I meant… I said I would help you stretch,” Shiro said, blushing a little.

“Oh! Right!”

“I still can…” Shiro took a step toward him, leaving the thought unfinished.

“Um.” Lance swallowed. “I really, really want you to do that. Later. When Keith is here.”

Shiro nodded slowly. “Right. You’re right. I… I’m really looking forward to that.”

Lance smiled, glad that Shiro had caught his meaning, and that they seemed to be on the same page about further intimate contact.

“Sit with me?” Shiro asked, holding out his hand. Lance took it.

They settled onto Lance’s bunk together, sitting side-by-side against the wall. Shiro wrapped the blanket around both their shoulders, and Lance leaned against him, enjoying the warmth of his skin. Feeling close. He and Shiro had been up so early with Keith, it wasn’t even time for breakfast yet, and he could tell that Shiro was enjoying the extra time and privacy as much as he was.

“So… how do you think your family would handle it if they knew you were dating two people?” Shiro prompted, holding one of Lance’s hands in both of his.

Lance thought about it.

“I think they’ll be a little skeptical at first, but I know they’ll love you and Keith once they get to know you. Especially Veronica. Both of our brothers are straight, but she’s not. She’ll be excited when I tell her I’m not, either.”

“She didn’t know before?”

“Not for sure. I was still figuring things out, the last time I talked to her about it.”

Shiro rested his head on Lance’s shoulder.

“I can’t wait to meet all of them. When you’re ready for that, I mean.”

Lance pressed a kiss into his damp hair, breathing in the smell of it. He was enjoying the way they could alternate roles; sometimes Shiro would wrap him up in his arms and hold him so tight, and other times, he wanted to be held. It was a trade and a balance, and an exercise in trust, and Lance adored him for it.

“Shiro?”

“Mm?”

“I feel a little guilty.”

“About what?”

“Well… I know I should be worried about Keith. And I am. I still feel like we should’ve gone with him today.”

Shiro nodded.

“Me too. I thought about insisting, but… well, you know Keith. He knows his own mind. If he wanted us to go, he would’ve said so.”

“I know, and I’m sure he thought he’d be able to handle it, but I think meeting with the pilots’ families will be really hard on him.”

“Yeah. It will. He knows what it’s like to lose the people you love the most.”

Lance leaned his cheek against the top of Shiro’s head.

“Yeah… and now we’re the people he loves the most.”

Shiro slid an arm across his stomach. “So we’ll be here when he gets back. We’ll take care of him.”

“I know. It’s just… I feel guilty for being so happy, when I know he must be so sad.”

Shiro lifted his head.

“He wants you to be happy, Lance. He wants this for both of us.” He pressed his lips against Lance’s cheek. “We have to keep each other strong. We have to step up when one of us is having a hard time. And we have to be happy whenever we can. Keith is the one who taught me that. We can’t forget what we’re fighting for.”

Lance tilted his head to the side.

“What are you fighting for, Ashi?”

Shiro pressed their foreheads together.

“A future full of mornings like this.”


	14. More Weight on His Shoulders

The panel in Lance’s wall lit up while he and Shiro were getting dressed, at the same time that their wrist communicators beeped. Shiro tapped the panel and scrolled through the updates, which had just come from Keith.

“He must’ve had some extra time before the meetings,” he mused.

“Anything important?” Lance was tying the drawstring of his pants into a bow.

“Coran and Romelle decided to walk with Keith and Allura to the other building, so it’ll be a smaller crowd for breakfast… Keith updated the task list… huh.” Shiro paused, staring at the screen.

“What’s up?”

“Nothing. It’s just… I’m out of the loop. Keith and Allura have been fielding the schedule and keeping track of everyone. It’s…” Shiro smiled. “It’s awesome, actually.”

Lance tossed him a shirt. “I think we can all agree that you deserve a break, Shiro. Enjoy it.”

He nodded. “I really, really am.”

Lance watched him pull his shirt on, still holding his own in his hands. Shiro caught him staring and slowed down, taking time to smooth the fabric over his torso.

“Everything okay?” he asked, softly.

“Yeah. It’s just… a lot of new things.”

Shiro nodded. “Showering together? Getting dressed?” He paused, then said, “Getting undressed?”

“Yeah. It’s like… I wish time would just stop for a little while, so I could keep track of it all. I feel like I waited so long for...” Lance trailed off. How could he possibly sum up what it meant to him to have Shiro here, getting dressed for the day in his quarters?

Then he remembered that he didn’t have to. Shiro already knew.

“Lance…” Shiro stepped close to him and took the shirt out of his hands. He slid his fingers through the neckline and pulled it carefully over Lance’s head, protecting his face. “We’ll get a chance to slow things down. Someday soon.” He leaned down and pressed his lips to the center of Lance’s chest, then started guiding his arms through the sleeves. “I’ll make waffles. We can spend all day in bed.” He let go of the hem and put his hands on Lance’s waist. His fingers were warm and gentle against Lance’s skin. “Until then, I don’t mind losing some sleep. We can make time for showers, and getting dressed, and… getting undressed.”

Lance put his hands on Shiro’s chest.

“I think you were right. I think I am impatient.”

Shiro slid one thumb along the waistband of his pants.

“So am I.”

Lance stepped even closer to him.

“What happened to _patience yields focus_?”

Shiro slid one hand around to his lower back.

“Don’t I seem focused to you?”

Lance swallowed. He was still getting used to being on the receiving end of Shiro’s attention, and he knew how deep it ran. He knew how Shiro felt about him, and about his body. He knew what Shiro was picturing, because he was picturing the same thing.

Lance said, “I wish Keith was here.” He meant, _I want you._

“So do I.” _I want you, too._

Lance hugged him, because it seemed safer than every alternative he could think of, and because he couldn’t bear the thought of leaving this room without feeling Shiro’s arms around him one more time.

His doorbell tone sounded.

He sighed.

He stepped away from Shiro, and they exchanged a frustrated smile before he tapped the door control.

Krolia was there, holding a tablet, wearing a thoughtful expression.

“Krolia!” Lance said, with excessive enthusiasm. He cringed internally. “Hi! Um! Come in!”

She nodded at him and stepped inside, and he closed the door behind her. She inclined her head at each of them in turn.

“Lance. Shiro. I’m glad you’re both here.”

“We were about to head to breakfast,” Shiro told her. “Will you join us? I still feel badly about how things went, yesterday.”

“Thank you. Another time. I said I’d help the Olkari sift through the Galra transmissions they intercepted during the battle.”

Shiro nodded. “Could you use another set of eyes? I’d be happy to join you.”

“Yes. I think that’d help quite a bit.”

“Okay. Let me know where to meet you. I can find you after I grab something to eat.”

“I will.”

They slipped into an uncomfortable silence. Lance noticed that she was gripping the tablet tightly with both of her long-fingered hands.

“I… I’ve been trying to find time to talk to Keith,” she finally said. “But we keep missing each other, and there are some things all three of you need to know. Especially if your relationship has… _progressed_ …” She cleared her throat. “Are you both… feeling all right?”

Lance and Shiro exchanged a glance.

“I feel fine,” Shiro told her.

“I feel fantastic,” Lance said, not bothering to censor himself.

She gave a small nod. “I… I’m sorry. I know it’s not my place, so… the information is here.” She handed the tablet to Shiro. “I’ve left Keith a message, but I feel that you both deserve the opportunity to educate yourselves before you decide how to… proceed.”

Shiro nodded, his expression serious. “Thank you.”

“I meant what I said, yesterday,” she went on. “Keith has spent too much time alone. I know how much you both meant to him, even before this, and now… Well. I owe you both a great deal. I’ll support your partnership, as long as I know you’re all making informed decisions.”

“That means a lot, Krolia,” Shiro told her. “We’ll talk to Keith as soon as we get a chance.”

She nodded. “I know today will be very difficult for him, and some of that information may be challenging for him to learn. I wish I could avoid putting more weight on his shoulders, but it really can’t wait. Please remind him that he can come to me, if he needs to.”

“We will,” Lance said. “And I wouldn’t worry too much. Keith is tough. And we can take care of him.”

She smiled for the first time. “Yes, I believe you can.” She took a step toward the door, and Lance hit the control for her. “I’ll see you both soon?”

They said their goodbyes, and she left them alone. They both stared at the tablet Shiro was holding.

“Okay…” Shiro said. “That was a little ominous. I’m pretty sure she was trying to figure out if we…”

“Slept together?” Lance suggested. “Minus the sleeping?”

“Yup. That.”

“I know. Can you imagine if she’d actually asked us? I really thought she was going to, for a second.”

Shiro looked thoughtful. “She wouldn’t, unless she felt like she had a really good reason to.”

“Uh huh, and I’m guessing it has something to do with Keith’s mysterious Galra sex drive.”

Shiro met his eye. “This morning was really intense, with Keith. I didn’t feel concerned about it at the time… he seemed really calm and happy, after… but we should still be careful.”

Lance nodded. “Do you think we should read it? It feels kind of weird to be talking about this without Keith here.”

“Agreed. I’m not sure how he’d feel about it if we read through all this without him. I think we should wait.”

“Should we send him a message?”

Shiro thought about it. “I don’t want to worry him, with everything else he has to think about today…”

“Right. That’s true.” Lance picked up his own tablet from the table and typed out a message, reading it aloud as he did so. “ _You’ll be amazing today. We miss you already. Can’t wait to spend some time together later.”_ He looked at Shiro. “Sound okay?”

“Perfect.”

He sent the message, then put the tablet back on the table. Shiro put Krolia’s tablet down next to it and stepped close to Lance, resting his fingertips along his neck.

“So perfect, Lance. I always thought you were so kind, but it feels so different to be this close to it.”

Lance felt his heartbeat jump to the back of his throat.

“I… I always used to wonder what you were thinking, all the time,” he said. “It feels so different to hear you say things like that out loud.”

Shiro smiled. “You make me feel safe.”

Lance thought about how it had felt to pin Shiro’s wrist behind his back.

“Like when I had you restrained?”

“Yeah.” Shiro’s voice was quiet. “Would you like to do that again?”

Lance nodded.

“Would you like it if I restrained you, too?”

Lance swallowed. “Yeah. I’m not really sure why, but… yeah.”

Shiro’s fingertips were on his cheek, now.

“I think it can be sort of special, giving up control to someone you trust.” He slid his arms around Lance’s back and held him close. “And it feels good to be held, doesn’t it?”

Lance locked his arms around Shiro’s neck.

_“Tighter?”_

Shiro tightened his hold. Lance let the air out of his lungs, let Shiro support most of his weight, let himself ache in Shiro’s arms.

_“Better?”_

_“Yes.”_

They stood like that for a long moment. Shiro’s breath was warm and soothing against Lance’s neck. Lance’s breath barely came at all.

_“Lance?”_

_“Mm?”_

_“How do you want things to be, between us, when we’re around the rest of the team?”_

_“Mm…”_ Lance thought about it, feeling pleasantly lightheaded. _“Well… we can’t let anything bad happen to them, because of us. So when we’re with the team, we should just be teammates, I think.”_

He felt Shiro’s lips pressing against his hair, near the back of his head.

_“I can always count on you.”_

_“I… I always try not to let you down, Ashi.”_

Shiro looked at him, barely loosening his hold. He shook his head.

_“You’re spectacular.”_

Lance heard himself whimper.

They kissed each other.

They were a few minutes late for breakfast.

 

* * *

 

“Shiro!” Hunk practically yelled, as soon as they walked into the dining room together. “Lance! Hi! Welcome to breakfast!”

“We saved you some seats,” Pidge pointed out, gesturing to all the empty chairs around the table.

Lance laughed along with Shiro, grateful that his friends were making an effort to dispel yesterday's tension.

“Thanks, guys,” Shiro said. “Guess it’s just us, today.”

They both nodded.

“We saw Keith in the hallway earlier,” Hunk said, while Lance and Shiro started filling their plates at the back of the room. “We offered to go along again, but I guess Ryner said it could be overwhelming for the families to have all of us there.”

“That makes sense,” Lance said, sneaking a couple dumpling-shaped snacks onto Shiro’s plate, since his was full. “Keith wouldn’t let us go, either.”

“I told him we would try to think of something else we could do for them,” Pidge told them. “I was thinking we could work with some of the engineers to design a garden or a memorial, once we get started on restoring the forests.”

“That’s a really great idea, Pidge,” Shiro said. “Maybe we can all talk it over, later.”

Lance followed Shiro to the spot opposite Hunk and Pidge and sat down next to him, resisting the urge to sit as close to him as possible, leaving a couple inches between their chairs, instead. He’d meant what he said; he knew that his relationship with Shiro and Keith had everyone thinking about potential complication, and he wanted to do everything in his power to ease their minds.

Still, he smiled to himself when he felt Shiro’s knee press against his thigh under the table, and he let his thoughts drift into dangerous territory while they started eating, grateful that his imaginings were safe inside his mind.

Safe from Hunk and Pidge, at least. Shiro’s knee pressed a little harder against his leg, and he felt his cheeks growing warm, and kept his eyes locked on his plate.

“So, guys,” Pidge eventually said, and he blinked the daydream away, focusing on the here and now. “We were thinking of heading down to the hangar after this. We thought we could try to get a head start on recharging the green lion.”

“Just the two of you?” Shiro asked. “Is that safe?”

“Well… it worked for you and Keith, right?” Pidge asked, looking at Lance. “I thought maybe you could show us what you did.”

Lance coughed a little bit, then swallowed thickly at the bite of food he’d been chewing.

“Uh.” He cleared his throat, stalling. “Um. Okay. I just have to say something real quick.” He pushed his plate away from himself. He wasn’t hungry, anymore. “So… me and Keith, and Shiro… we don’t want any of our… _stuff_ … to affect you guys, or anything. We’re still a team, and you guys are like family to me, and I don’t want that to change.”

Pidge looked concerned. “We know that, Lance. We’re good. Allura and I talked everything out.”

“It’s fine, man,” Hunk said. “Everything’s cool.”

“I... I know. I just needed to tell you that.”

They nodded, waiting patiently for him to go on.

“Okay... so, I know this might sound weird, and I’m really sorry about that, but… after you guys left, the black lion kept on charging because… Keith and I were making out.”

Pidge’s eyes went wide. “Oh.”

Hunk giggled. “Seriously? You recharged the black lion by sucking face with Keith?”

Lance scowled at him. “No!” Hunk raised his eyebrows. Lance groaned. “Well, okay, _yes_ , we were kissing, but it was… I mean, we weren’t just _sucking face_ , dude.”

Pidge’s eyes went even wider. “Were you… you know…” She pressed her palms together.

“NO! THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT!”

She raised her hands. “Okay! I’m sorry! I’m just trying to figure out what happened!”

Lance took another breath, digging his palms into his thighs. He felt the back of Shiro’s hand brush against his wrist, and he met his eye and found calm encouragement in his expression.

“I… I know,” he told Pidge. “I’m sorry, it’s just… we weren’t just fooling around for no reason. Keith couldn’t connect to the black lion, and I thought it would help if we…”

“Bonded?” Hunk suggested.

“Um. Yeah. And it worked, so after you guys left, we stayed for a while, and we kept our crowns on, and we were glowing…”

“Huh.” Pidge looked thoughtful. “Did you get really tired after? Like when we tried it as a group?”

Lance thought about it. “Actually… no. Probably the opposite. We were…” He paused, remembering the way Keith had looked, taking his clothes off, sinking down onto his knees… he cleared his throat again. “We were sort of… amped. Energized.”

“And you were drawing power more efficiently than the five of us were, together,” she pointed out. “I wonder why…”

“I might have an idea,” Shiro said. “So, obviously, the lions respond to each of us individually, and to the bond we all have as a team. When all five of you were drawing quintessence from the planet, you were using that bond to do it, the same way you do when you form Voltron. That bond is based on friendship, and a shared mission, but Lance and Keith have a connection that’s more…” He hesitated, then said, “Personal, I guess? Keith and I experienced something like that, too. When you were fighting Lotor, and he was trying to get back to you, we accessed the black lion’s speed ability together. We weren’t in a relationship at that point, or anything, but, obviously, we were… close.”

Pidge was nodding as he spoke. “So the connection might not necessarily depend on an explicit romantic attachment. It’s possible that any strong emotional bond might do the trick.”

She and Hunk exchanged a hesitant glance, and Lance felt a pang of guilt. Hunk was his best friend, and yet he had no idea where Hunk and Pidge stood with each other right now. He’d been so wrapped up in everything that was happening with Keith and Shiro, he’d barely stopped to wonder about it, lately.

“I can come down with you,” he offered, promising himself that he’d make more of an effort to get back in the loop with his friends. “I’m sure the three of us can figure something out.”

 

* * *

 

They parted ways with Shiro in the hall. Lance resisted the urge to fold himself into Shiro’s arms, but he was pleased when Shiro rested a hand briefly on his shoulder as they said goodbye. He went back to his quarters to change into his armor and retrieve his Olkari crown, then met up with Hunk and Pidge again by the elevators. They were silent as they waited for the doors to slide open, and Lance wasn’t sure if he and Shiro were the cause of the tension, or if Hunk and Pidge were busy reflecting on the ambiguous nature of their own relationship.

“So,” Hunk prompted, as soon as they’d shut themselves inside the elevator. “You and Shiro, too, huh?”

Lance felt himself smile reflexively. “Yeah. Me and Shiro.” He said it just to see how it would feel.

He felt like saying it a thousand more times.

“That’s gotta be a new-ish thing, right?”

“Um… aside from the massive crush I was carrying around for a while, yeah. It’s new.”

Hunk and Pidge looked at each other briefly.

“Look, Lance,” Pidge said. “We don’t want to make you uncomfortable-”

“What’s he _like_?” Hunk blurted. “I mean, he’s usually all _GET TO YOUR LIONS_ and _STAY IN FORMATION_ and _FOCUS, PLEASE,_ and I literally can’t picture him doing anything other than shaming us all with his piloting skills and annihilating hordes of bad guys, so… y’know… spill.”

Lance giggled at Hunk’s very accurate imitation. “What do you want to know?”

“Everything!” They said in unison.

“You showed up to breakfast together,” Hunk pointed out. “I’m guessing you didn’t wake up early to play video games.”

“Uh. No. We… the three of us slept in the simulation room.”

“’Slept?’” Hunk prompted, eyebrows raised.

“Uh huh,” Lance said lightly. “Slept.”

“Bullshit.”

Lance scowled at him. “Don’t I seem well-rested to you?”

“No. You seem blissed-out on Shiro and Keith.”

“Dude!” Lance hesitated, caught between his desire to talk to his friends about everything that had been happening in his personal life, and his instinct to protect his partners’ privacy. “You know Shiro,” he said. “He’s… private.”

“Aw, c’mon, Lance. We’re your buddies. You have to give us something.”

The elevator came to a stop, and the doors slid open. Lance chose his words carefully while they started across the massive hangar.

“He can be silly,” he finally said. “He says what’s on his mind a lot more, when we’re alone. He jokes around. And he can sing really well.”

“Shiro sings?” Pidge asked. “I didn’t know that.”

“Uh huh. And… he can be sweet. Maybe sweeter than you’d expect.”

“Nah,” she said. “I figured he would be. I mean, I know he’s this great warrior and everything, but I think he might also be the nicest person in the world.”

“Yeah, dude,” Hunk said. “Shiro’s like a snuggly puppy disguised as a ninja. And _you_ get to snuggle him. What’s that like, anyway? Seems like he might be kinda… rock solid.”

Lance laughed. “No. He’s… soft.”

Pidge eyed him, then elbowed him in the ribs.

“Someone’s in love.”

“Times two,” Hunk added. “What’s that even like? I mean, don’t get me wrong, it all sounds super cool in theory, but, like, how does it… work? With three people, I mean.”

“I was curious about that, too,” Pidge said. “Keith and Shiro seemed so close, already. Do you ever feel… I don’t know… like, left out?”

They stopped in front of the lions and stood in a small circle, facing each other.

“I was really worried about that, at first,” Lance admitted. “I had no idea how things could ever feel balanced between all three of us. And if I had to just take their word for it, I think I’d be having a really hard time. But I don’t. I’ve seen their thoughts. They both let me _feel_ how they feel. They…”

He raised a hand to the back of his neck, feeling hot from the blush in his cheeks.

“They love me. I _know_ they do. And yeah, I mean, it’s different from how they feel about each other, but… I kinda want it to be? Me and Shiro have our own thing, and me and Keith have our own thing, and when we’re all together it all sort of combines into this big amazing thing, and…”

He looked at his friends, letting his hand fall to his side, again.

“It’s still new, I guess, but that’s how it is right now, and it feels… right.”

Hunk and Pidge both nodded seriously.

“It sounds right,” Pidge said.

“And ridiculously hot,” Hunk added. Lance grinned.

“It is ridiculously hot.”

Pidge stared between them for a moment, then said, “I think you guys should try recharging one of the lions, first.”

They blinked back at her.

“Me and Hunk?” Lance asked.

“Yeah. You’ve been friends for years, and I still don’t really understand how this whole psychic bonding thing is supposed to work. I think you guys have a better chance of pulling it off.”

Hunk shrugged. “I’m game. Let’s try it with Yellow.”

Lance looked at him, trying to decide how he felt about the idea. Opening his mind to Keith had felt like a natural extension of the bond they’d been building. How much would he have to share with Hunk to achieve the same effect? How close would they have to get? What would Hunk think, if he had access to some of his most private thoughts?

“Okay,” he finally said, sounding more confident than he felt. “We can try.”

The three of them climbed into the yellow lion together, and Lance suggested that they sit down on the floor in the space behind the pilot’s chair. He and Hunk sat cross-legged, facing each other, and Pidge sat on her knees close by, ready to observe.

“Alrighty, Sensei,” Hunk joked, bowing with his palms pressed together. “Teach me your ways.”

Lance smiled, despite his apprehension.

“Well, if you were waiting for a chance to make out with me, you missed your window by a couple days.”

“Shit! I’ll need notice in writing next time you’re getting ready to partner up.”

“You got it, buddy.”

They grinned at each other. Lance held out both his hands.

“We should probably be touching, though, for real.”

“Hmm. As long as you can promise me Keith’s not gonna come kill me in my sleep.”

“No promises. You two can work that shit out amongst yourselves.”

Hunk shrugged and picked up Lance’s hands. “Worth the risk, anyway. I know how much you moisturize.”

Lance tickled his palms, teasing. “You know it. Silky smooth.”

Pidge rolled her eyes. “You guys are so weird.”

Hunk smirked. “You’re just jealous.”

“Ha! Of who?”

“Hmm,” Lance mused. “Guess we’ll find out later, when you guys get all brain-synched.”

She pursed her lips and didn’t reply, so Lance turned his attention back to Hunk.

“Okay, so, close your eyes. Get into your lion’s headspace. I’ll try to find you there.”

Hunk raised an eyebrow, skeptical, but then did as he was told.

Lance closed his eyes, too, slipping easily into the familiar blackness of the red lion’s consciousness. He was fairly certain that he’d need to connect with Hunk on the astral plane in order to make any real progress… but he had no idea how to access it. He’d found his way there, once, with the rest of the team, and only recently because Keith or Shiro had pulled him there by force. So how was he supposed to initiate the process?

Could he find Keith or Shiro in the blackness?

They were both busy… but he figured Shiro could cope with a moment or two of distraction, if it came to that.

He shuffled through their recent experiences together, looking for one that perfectly captured the flavor of Shiro’s mind. He pictured Shiro saying _I love you_ for the first time, remembering how he’d _felt_ the words as plainly as he’d felt Shiro’s hands on his body.

He felt the darkness shift around him, like a gentle breeze moving over his skin. It felt like Shiro. He imagined that he was moving toward its origin, reaching toward the _something_ that was Shiro's consciousness… and then he found himself surrounded by the shimmering twilight of the astral plane.

_Shiro?_

_Lance?_

He smiled to himself. He couldn’t see Shiro, but he could feel him, somewhere close.

_I made it to the astral plane. I think I followed you here._

_Everything okay?_

_Everything’s great. I didn’t mean to bother you._

_You could never. I love having you with me._

_Everything okay with you?_

_Making some progress. I’ll tell you later._

_See you soon?_

_Not soon enough._

Lance let the connection fade. He concentrated on the feeling of Hunk’s hands in the physical world until he caught a flicker of vibrant orange in his periphery. He turned toward it and focused on it until it started to stabilize, brightening in stages like the first hints of a sunrise. He squeezed Hunk’s hands… and then Hunk appeared in front of him, framed by orange light.

_Lance?_

He staggered a little, and Lance took hold of his arm to steady him.

_Hey! You made it!_

_Oh man, I think I’m gonna barf…_

_Nah. It’ll pass. Just hang on to me._

Hunk took a handful of breaths, then straightened up and looked around.

_Whoa… is this the astral plane?_

_Yup. I zapped you here with my brain._

_Dude! That’s so sick!_

_I know, right?_

They giggled for a moment, then let each other go.

 _So what now?_ Hunk asked.

_Well… I think we should focus on our memories. You know, like… our bond._

_Oh! Right! Okay!_

_I can start, if you want._

_Sure, man. Let’s roll._

Lance took a moment to organize his thoughts.

_Remember when I didn’t make fighter class?_

_Uh… I remember there was a time when you hadn’t made fighter class YET._

Lance smiled.

_Yeah. That’s what you said back then. And you said you’d still want to fly with me, even if I never made it, because you’d always trust your best friend more than anyone else._

_Still true, buddy._

_You know, I don’t think I ever told you why that was such a big deal to me. It wasn’t just because you still wanted to fly with me. You could’ve told me I deserved to make it, just to be nice. But I knew I didn’t. I knew I needed more practice. And it meant a lot to me that you could still make me feel better without lying to me._

Hunk’s lower lip was scrunched up in a pout.

_Duuuude. That’s, like, the sweetest thing ever._

_I’m serious._

_I know! I am too!_

Lance nudged at his shoulder with the heel of his hand.

_Okay. Your turn._

Hunk brought a finger to his lips.

_Oh yeah. I have one. Remember when I finally worked up the courage to ask out Aisha?_

_Uh huh. I remember. I told you she was shallow._

_Yup. You were right. God, she was so mean. I think I stared at myself in the mirror for a whole hour that day._

_I know. You were wearing a towel. It was super distracting._

Hunk rolled his eyes. _Okay, but, do you remember what you said?_

_Uhh… you asked if I thought a girl would ever think you were sexy…_

_Yeah. And you said I was smokin’ hot, and she was out of her mind._

Lance giggled. _Uh huh._

_But you also said that sexy isn’t all about what you look like. It’s about being a cool person._

_Right! So, obviously, you were the sexiest guy at the Garrison._

Hunk sniffed.

_I really believed you meant that._

_I did!_

Hunk threw his arms around Lance’s shoulders, at the same time that he squeezed his hands in the physical world. The dual experience was pleasant, if a little dizzying. Lance squeezed back.

“Guys! It’s working!”

Pidge’s voice was both close and far away.

They let each other go.

 _I have one more,_ Lance said, while Hunk wiped at his eyes. Hunk nodded.

_Might as well. I’m already crying._

_Remember spin the bottle?_

_Which time?_

_The time I had to kiss Nick._

_Oh my God, Nick Wallingford, what a douche!_

_I know, right? I hated that guy’s guts, but… I kinda liked kissing him. That was the first time I noticed I liked kissing guys._

Hunk nodded. _I remember._

_I was so confused because… well… Nick was such a tool, obviously. But you were so cool about it, when I told you._

Hunk smiled. _I really would’ve smooched with you. Y’know, as friends. If it would’ve helped you figure things out._

_I know. Honestly, that was, like, one of the nicest things anyone’s ever offered to do for me._

_So why’d you turn me down?_

Lance shrugged. _I wanted you to be my best friend forever. I didn’t want anything to jeopardize that._

Hunk wiped at his nose.

_Love you, buddy._

_Love you, too._

_So, one best friend to another… you and Keith and Shiro… did you bone, yet?_

Lance laughed.

_Uh… not quite. I think we probably will, soon._

_Nervous?_

_Yeah. A little. Not really when I’m with them, though._

_Yeah. I can see that._ Hunk hesitated, then said, _Listen, man. You know I’m happy for you, right?_

_Yeah. I know._

_Okay, good, because I have to ask you about something._

Lance raised an eyebrow.

_What’s up?_

_It’s just… you’ve been talking about getting married and having a family for as long as I’ve known you. I guess I was wondering… is that still what you want?_

_Well… yeah. Someday._

_Okay, so… do you know if that’s what Keith and Shiro want, too?_

Lance bit his lower lip, caught completely off guard. Of course, he knew he wanted Keith and Shiro to be part of his future. Except that, lately, his vision of _the future_ didn’t extend much further than surviving the war.

So what if they did survive? What if they made it? What kind of life would Keith and Shiro want, if the three of them had the choice to build one together?

 _It’s… it’s early,_ he managed, wishing Shiro and Keith were here with him, wishing he knew the answers to the questions that were popping into his mind.

Hunk looked apologetic.

_I know. And I think they’re awesome for you. I really do. It’s just… it seems like you fell pretty hard, and you’re thinking about getting all horizontal, so I guess that means it’s pretty serious…_

Lance nodded. _I know what you mean. And you’re right. We’ll have to talk about it, at some point._

_Just looking out for you, man._

_I know._

They avoided each other’s gaze for a moment, and then Lance said, _So… what about you? You and Pidge, I mean?_

Hunk looked around.

_Uh… she can’t hear us in here, can she?_

_Nah. You’re safe._

_Okay. Well… I still don’t know. Sometimes I feel like we’re so in synch, we must be more than just regular friends… but she never hints at anything. She jokes around with me like you do. Like we’re just buddies. And sometimes when we’re up late, I start wondering why we always go back to separate rooms… and then she just says goodnight and goes, like there’s nothing else on her mind, and I feel stupid for even thinking about it._

_You’re not. She obviously cares about you a lot._

_Yeah, but, like, how? Don’t you think I’d be able to tell by now if she wanted to do more than, like, hug once a month?_

_Do you want to do more than hug once a month?_

_Yeah. Even if it’s just a little bit. Even if we could just hold hands sometimes, or something._

_So have you been dropping hints? How would she know that’s what you want?_

Hunk’s expression settled slowly into a scowl.

_Your reasoning skills disturb me._

_Make a move, man. Just a little one. I don’t think it’ll mess with your friendship. She’s crazy about you._

_I dunno…_

_Dude. Life is short. I should know._

In the physical world, Lance let go of Hunk’s right hand, and extended his hand to Pidge, instead.

“Come on, Pidge,” he said, his eyes still closed. “Join the party.”

“How?”

“Synch up with your lion. I’ll help with the rest.”

He felt her fingertips against his palm and gave her a small squeeze. He waited until he could sense the familiar flavor of her consciousness, way off in the distance, and then he told Hunk how to concentrate on her image, on his impressions of her. They _pulled_ at her mind together until she appeared next to them on the astral plane, wide-eyed and staggering, and Hunk looped a steadying arm around her waist. Lance made note of the way she leaned against him, even after she had both feet firmly on the ground. She didn’t straighten up until he let her go.

Hints were being dropped. Hunk just wasn’t picking them up.

The three of them stood in a circle. Pidge told them that the yellow and red lions had both recovered more than sixty percent of their power, and Lance told her how they’d been going back over some of the memories that defined their friendship. Then they all tried it together, reminiscing about the time they’d spent together at the Garrison, and their early days of piloting. The time they’d spent saving each other, and keeping each other sane. The hard-won victories, and the near misses. The collection of moments that had turned them into a family. They laughed together, and swallowed their tears, and glowed.

_Blue?_

Hunk was still talking, but Lance tuned him out, concentrating.

_Hey, Red… everything okay?_

_Where are you?_

_I’m in the yellow lion with Hunk and Pidge._

_Can I come get you?_

_What’s wrong?_

_Blue. Please._

_Okay. One sec._

He turned his attention back to his friends.

_Guys? I need to go for now. You should be able to keep this up without me._

They both looked concerned.

 _Everything okay, man?_ Hunk asked.

_I’m not sure. I’ll let you know._

He opened his eyes to the physical world. Hunk and Pidge were there, bathed in shimmering light, their eyes closed, their hands clasped together. He let go of them and stood up, then walked to the back of the cockpit and into the cargo hold.

_Red?_

Keith and Kosmo appeared in front of him in a burst of light. Keith grabbed onto his hand, and the world went dark… and then they were standing inside Keith’s quarters. Kosmo nuzzled at Keith’s side and then hopped onto the bed, and Lance squeezed Keith’s hand, taking in his pained expression.

“Red?”

Keith swallowed hard, then threw his arms around Lance’s shoulders. It was awkward – they were both wearing their armor – but Lance did his best to hold him close while Keith buried his face against his neck.

“It’s tough, huh?” Lance murmured, stroking at the ends of his hair. Keith nodded. “It’ll be okay. Do you want to go get Shiro?”

“He’s busy.” Keith’s voice was low and unsteady. “I only have a few minutes.”

Lance pulled back from him, just enough to see his face. He raised his hand to brush Keith’s hair away from his forehead… and Keith caught his wrist in a tight hold, his expression shifting to confusion, then anger.

“Who did you touch?”

Lance’s mouth fell open.

“Wh… what?”

“Blue.” Keith’s voice was sharp, now. “You smell like someone else.”

“I… oh.” Lance tried to pull his wrist away, but Keith only tightened his hold. “ _Ah_ , Red-”

“Explain!”

“Keith! Let go!”

Keith flinched, like he’d been struck. He let go of Lance’s wrist and took two steps back, widening the gap between them.

Lance rubbed at his wrist with his opposite hand, his mind spinning, his heart hammering away in his chest.

“I was just helping Hunk and Pidge recharge the lions,” he said, hearing unsteadiness in his own voice, now. “I touched their hands, Keith, that’s all. What’s the matter?”

Keith balled his hands into fists, looking stricken.

“I… I’m _so_ sorry, I didn’t mean to do that… but I can _smell_ them on you and… fuck!”

His eyes were shining. His voice was desperate.

“Lance… I think there’s something wrong with me.”


	15. A Version of the Future

Lance stared, temporarily stunned into silence as he watched Keith – strong, stoic, solid-as-a-rock Keith – start to unravel before his eyes.

“No,” he heard himself say. “There’s nothing wrong with you, you’re just-”

“ _Yes_ , there is!” Keith was wiping at the corner of his eye with the heel of his hand. “I have _no_ control over what I’m feeling. I was out of my mind, this morning, and then when I couldn’t be _near_ you-”

“Keith-”

“Did I hurt you?”

“No, Red-”

“Lance, please… I don’t know what to do!”

Lance’s heart squeezed. Keith was _begging_.

“It’ll be okay,” he said. “I think we should-”

Lance stopped. Both of their communicators were beeping, and the panel in the wall was flashing red, signifying an urgent incoming message. Lance tapped at the screen, and Shiro’s face appeared in the middle of it, his expression serious.

“Lance? Is Keith with you?”

“Yeah, he’s-”

“I know. I’ll be right there.”

His image disappeared. Lance turned back to Keith and found him crying openly, hugging his arms to his chest.

“I tried to shut him out,” he managed, his head bowed. “I didn’t want him to worry, so I… but I can’t, anymore…”

Lance forced himself to take a long, slow breath. Keith couldn’t lead right now. He needed to step up. When he spoke, he concentrated on keeping his voice steady.

“How long do you have?”

Keith glanced at the clock on the wall. He swallowed thickly.

“Fifteen minutes.”

“Okay.” Lance reached behind himself to unfasten his chest piece. “Take off the top half of your armor.”

“But-”

“Just do it, Red,” he prodded, gently, and Keith didn’t argue further. They both stripped down to their black undershirts and set their armor on the table, and then Lance cautiously closed the distance between them. Keith took a shuddering, involuntary breath and squeezed his eyes shut.

“You can smell me?”

He nodded.

“Is that good or bad?”

“I… I don’t know. Both.”

Lance bit his lower lip, fighting off the feeling of helplessness that was squeezing his heart like a vise, resisting the urge to wipe the tears from Keith’s face. He stood up on his tiptoes and kissed his forehead instead, and he saw Keith’s shoulders drop a little bit.

“I’ll be right back, okay? I’m going to go wash my hands.”

Keith sniffed his acknowledgement, tears still flowing freely onto his cheeks.

Lance went to the bathroom at the back of the room, retrieved Keith’s soap from the shower, and started scrubbing at his hands and forearms in the sink while he tried to formulate a plan. Obviously, Keith needed comfort, but he was practically folding in on himself. He had clearly been just as unnerved by his burst of aggression as Lance had, and he was suffering from an unprecedented loss of emotional control. Lance and Shiro had to figure out how to give that control back to him.

But how? Could they switch off his emotions, the same way he’d switched off Shiro’s arm? Lance fought off a shudder. That sounded dangerously close to mind control. They shouldn’t be trying to manipulate each other’s thoughts, like that.

But maybe they could influence Keith’s mood, non-invasively. Maybe they could calm him and keep him stable by sharing their thoughts and impressions. And if they couldn’t, then one or both of them would have to go meet with the Olkari in his place.

There was a knock at Keith’s door. Lance dried his hands on a towel and went back to the living space, where he found Keith sitting on his bunk, gripping the edge of the mattress. Lance tapped the door control and Shiro stepped into the room, resting a hand briefly on his arm before he sat down next to Keith, put his arms around him, and held him against his chest.

“Hey, Rogan,” he murmured. “I’m glad you came back. I was bored to death up there.”

Keith let out a tiny sob. He closed his eyes and tipped his chin toward Shiro’s neck, breathing deeply, though he kept his hands balled into fists and his arms rigid at his sides. Kosmo whined from the floor near the foot of the bed, and Lance deliberated for a second before he sat down on Keith’s opposite side.

“Red?”

Keith opened his eyes, but he didn’t say anything. His body looked tense and stiff in Shiro’s arms.

“Can I touch you?”

Keith nodded, so Lance slipped his hands under his shirt, holding one against his belly and one against his lower back.

“You know I would never touch someone else like I touch you and Shiro, right? Hunk and Pidge are just my friends.”

“I know that. I know I’m being crazy. Everything feels… bad. Different.”

“Tell us,” Shiro murmured against Keith’s hair. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s like this morning,” Keith said, his voice thick with emotion. “It was like… I _needed_ to be with you. Both of you. The way you smell… I can’t ignore it… and I didn’t want you to know, because I would never _force_ it, or anything, I swear, I wouldn’t… but it was like this instinct, or… I don’t know what. And then after, I felt _amazing_. Like, better than I’ve ever felt in my life. Except… it started to fade, and it was so _hard_ , being there with all those people, I thought I was going to lose my mind if I couldn’t see you, and… and now…” He sobbed again, his expression twisting. “I’m sorry, I know I’m supposed to… to focus, and _lead_ , and… I can’t, because all I want to do is take your clothes off…”

He trailed off, letting his eyes fall shut, breathing deeply.

“Keith…” Shiro’s voice was barely more than a whisper. “Krolia came to see us this morning. She gave us a tablet with some information she said we all needed to see.”

Keith took another shuddering breath. “I know. She left me a message.”

“We didn’t read it yet,” Lance told him. “We were waiting for you.”

Keith nodded. “Thank you.”

“I know what you’re going through is intense,” Shiro said. “It’s physiological, obviously. We know you can’t help it, and we’re here for you. But you should know… a lot of what you’re describing is really normal for humans, too.”

Keith lifted his head and looked at him.

“Really?”

Shiro smiled.

“Yeah. I want to take your clothes off, too. Like, I _really_ want to. Pretty much all the time. I mean, what you’re experiencing is extreme, obviously, but it’s normal for humans to be preoccupied with sex and closeness at the beginning of a relationship.”

Lance stroked Keith’s lower back with his fingertips. “I feel like that, too. I don’t think I’d ever want to get out of bed if we didn’t have to. I really missed both of you when you were gone.” He leaned forward and pressed his lips to Keith’s cheek, then lingered there, bumping Keith’s nose with his own before he straightened up. “And you smell good to me, too.”

Keith swallowed.

“I… I don’t know how I’m supposed to make it through the rest of the day. All those families… they’re so sad, but it’s like, they don’t even blame us… they just keep _thanking_ me-”

His voice broke, and Lance and Shiro held him tight.

“Rogan,” Shiro murmured. “You’re doing so well. You can keep it together. We’ll help you, okay?”

“How?”

“Let us in,” Lance told him. “Show us what it was like, earlier, when you felt really good. Maybe we can keep you there.”

Keith gritted his teeth, then nodded.

Lance felt a firm _tug_ at the corners of his mind, so he closed his eyes and let himself be pulled.

Keith’s thoughts were a tangled mess. Sadness hit Lance like a wall: Keith’s grief for the suffering families, for the lives they had lost, intermingled with snapshots of his own memories.

His father, dressed in his firefighter’s uniform, smiling and ruffling his hair, leaving though the kitchen door of their house for the last time.

Two other firefighters, covered in burns and ash, ringing his doorbell late at night.

_He saved three people tonight. I’m so sorry, Keith. But he saved three people._

A briefing at the Garrison. Silence in an auditorium. A sea of orange uniforms.

_Mission status: Failed._

_Pilot error._

_Pilot error._

_Pilot error._

Lance felt tears falling onto his own cheeks right before he was bombarded with more emotions: Doubt and suspicion, triggered by the unfamiliar smell on his own body. Anger, bordering on rage. Possessiveness. Intense desire.

And underneath all of this was a running commentary of Keith’s memories and fantasies of the three of them, tangled up together. Touching each other. Tasting each other. Moving and breathing and _being_ together. There was nothing lewd about it, though, and nothing remotely violent. Keith’s imaginings were grounded in deep affection. It was just the intensity, the relentlessness, that was overwhelming. Lance felt like a branch in a gale force wind.

_Lance?_

_Ashi? What should we do?_

_Follow my lead. I need your help._

The vastness of time and space sprang to life behind Lance’s closed eyelids as Shiro dragged him onto the astral plane. He fought off a wave of nausea and focused his attention on Shiro, who was standing directly in front of him, trying to contain a writhing, crackling ball of black energy between his palms. Lance understood immediately – he knew what Shiro was doing, knew that he had used this technique before – so he grabbed onto Shiro’s forearms and concentrated on the sphere, on calming the turmoil, on cooling the blistering heat.

 _Blue._ Keith was standing nearby, watching, hugging his arms to his body. _I’m sorry._

 _For this?_ Lance smiled around gritted teeth. The writhing energy was already starting to calm. _This is nothing. We’ve got you covered, Red. Piece of cake._

 _Chocolate cake,_ Shiro said, the muscles of his human forearm shifting against Lance’s fingers. _With chocolate ice cream._

Lance raised his eyebrows. _You eat ice cream?_

_Uh huh. So does Keith._

_Only when you make it,_ Keith murmured. Lance looked at him _. He’d make it from scratch on my birthday. I used to hate my birthday before that, but…_ He looked at Shiro. _I don’t know if I ever thanked you, for that. I know I didn’t always make things easy._

Shiro smiled.

_You know I love a challenge._

The surface of the sphere shimmered and then went smooth, the once-menacing mass reduced to a shining black pearl of well-contained energy. Lance let go of Shiro’s forearms, and Shiro set the sphere aside.

In the physical world, Keith sighed and sagged in their arms.

On the astral plane, Keith relaxed, held his hands in front of his stomach, and conjured a sphere of radiant light between his palms.

 _Here,_ he told them. _I can show you, now._

They moved close to him, put their arms around him, and pressed their lips to his forehead. And then suddenly, the light wasn’t contained between Keith’s palms, anymore. It was all around them, as if the distant stars had all rushed to their aid and driven out the twilight. The light was a soft, yellow-white - impossibly bright, but not blinding - and warm, like a breakthrough of sun on a cloudy day. Lance looked at Keith and Shiro and found it reflecting in their eyes – flecks of gold and silver in the midst of deep violet and steel gray – and he let the warmth surround him and flow through him…

 _This is how you made me feel,_ Keith said.

And then Lance was weightless, flooded with calm euphoria, basking in an afterglow that told him he would always be safe and cared for, if only the three of them could stay right here, together. He grabbed onto the feeling, learning it by heart. This feeling lived inside of Keith, and Lance had helped to put it there. It was the sort of feeling Lance had been chasing all his life. It was the sort of feeling he’d do anything to protect. He knew he could spend the rest of his days living inside moments like this, with these two people. And if he could help them feel this way – if he could figure out how to hold them here – then maybe they’d want to spend the rest of their days with him, too.

He focused on the glow – on the light – until he was sure it must be shining underneath his skin, replacing the blood in his veins, binding the cells of his body together. He held Keith even tighter.

_I can do this. I can shine for you._

In the physical world, Keith shifted against his chest. Keith’s lips pressed against his neck, then his cheek, then his mouth.

They kissed each other, and it was as soft and lovely as the light behind Lance’s closed eyelids. Lance felt fingertips moving through his hair, and he opened his eyes a little – he kept his lips pressed against Keith’s – and found Shiro there, so close, pressing kisses above Keith’s ear. Lance had been daydreaming about how this could work – how the three of them could kiss each other at the same time – and now that Keith and Shiro were both right here, he saw no point in waiting any longer to find out. He nudged at Keith’s cheek with his nose, steering him toward Shiro, and then he went on brushing his lips against Keith’s hair, watching while Keith and Shiro kissed each other. Feeling like he was being kissed by both of them, together.

Then he was kissing Shiro’s lips while Keith held his hair back from his forehead, and then he was kissing Keith, again, and they went on trading places, sharing the moment. Sharing each other.

Keith’s wrist communicator beeped.

He switched it off.

“Five-minute warning.” His voice was calm and steady.

“How do you feel?” Shiro asked.

“Better.”

Keith looked at Lance. He brought Lance’s wrist to his lips and kissed it.

“You’re really okay?”

Lance closed his eyes. One the astral plane, he and Shiro were holding Keith tight, keeping him steady inside the warmth and the glow. It was an effort – he felt tired, and a little dizzy – but he felt strong, too.

He opened his eyes.

“I’m good.” He took hold of Keith’s hand and squeezed. “I’m glad you came to get me.”

Keith smiled.

“So am I.”

“We’ll keep the connection open until you get back,” Shiro said, stroking the ends of Keith’s hair with his human hand.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” Shiro’s voice was quiet, but firm. “We have you. Okay?”

They stared at each other for a moment before Keith nodded.

“Okay.”

Shiro stood up, holding out one hand for each of them, and they all hugged each other before Lance and Shiro helped Keith put his armor back on. The turmoil was still there – Lance could still feel it – but he and Shiro had wrestled it into submission for now. Keith looked strong and composed, every bit the living embodiment of Voltron. It made Lance want to unfasten his armor all over again.

Keith met his eye.

“Me, too, Blue.”

“You’ll be great,” Lance told him.

“Thanks to you.” He looked at Shiro. “Both of you.”

“Send Kosmo if you need us,” Shiro said. “We’ll be right here.”

Keith walked to the end of the bed, where Kosmo was waiting patiently, sitting up on the floor. He kneeled down next to the wolf, looked at Shiro and Lance, and said, “I love you.”

He rested his hand on Kosmo’s back and disappeared.

 

* * *

 

He rematerialized in the same room he’d left from: a small waiting room down the hallway from where he and Allura had been meeting with the Olkari families. It had been empty when he left, but Allura was there now, sitting in a chair with her hands clasped in her lap. She nodded at him as he straightened up from the floor, and he moved to her side and sat down in the chair next to her. He searched for something to say, knowing full well how silly it would be to ask how she was feeling. She was probably coping as well as he had been a few minutes ago: barely at all.

“I keep waiting for this to get easier,” she finally said. “Is that selfish of me? To wish that it could be less painful, to witness other people’s pain?”

“No,” Keith told her. “It isn’t selfish. I think all of us carry enough on our shoulders. And it just keeps on coming.”

She nodded.

“My father was the one who started this tradition. He said it helped him keep perspective, to witness the damage first hand. And he said it meant something to the people, to see the eyes of their defenders up close.” She sighed. “I know we owe it to them. I just wish I could be stronger, for them.”

Keith hesitated, then rested a hand lightly on her arm.

“You’re one of the strongest people I’ve ever met, Allura. The pain you feel isn’t weakness. It’s part of your strength.”

She looked at him.

“Keith… please allow me to apologize again.”

“Allura, no-”

“Please. I must.”

He folded his own hands in his lap, too, and gave her a small nod.

“This is the second time I’ve misjudged you,” she told him. “You were a friend to me, even after I let my prejudice distort my thinking. You’ve led us brilliantly in battle, and I’ve repaid you with even more suspicion. I’m sincerely sorry, for that. My father taught me that good leaders know when to seek support from the people they… love. You deserve that support. Please forgive my short-sightedness.”

Keith felt a pang of guilt. He could feel Lance and Shiro hovering in the back of his mind, bringing order to his thoughts, shielding him from the chaos. If he concentrated hard enough, he could feel Shiro’s fingertips smoothing through his hair, because Shiro was smoothing at _Lance’s_ hair while they laid side by side on Keith’s bunk, staring up at the ceiling. Who did Allura have, to calm her thoughts? To share her pain? To hold her close?

“We’re family,” Keith told her. “There’s nothing to forgive. We’re all here to support each other, and… you’re loved, too, Allura.”

She looked at him.

“Thank you, Keith.”

He stood up and helped her to her feet. He offered his arm to her, and she took it.

“We can do this, Princess.”

She nodded.

“I’m ready.”

 

* * *

 

It was well past midday by the time Keith and Allura started back toward the building that housed their living space. Of course, Keith could’ve warped both of them back to their quarters instantaneously with Kosmo, but he could tell that Allura needed some company. She kept hold of his arm while they walked the short distance back to their building, and she didn’t let go until the elevator doors opened on their floor. Keith suggested that they try to rest for the duration of the afternoon, and she made no argument. They planned to reconvene with the rest of the team at dinnertime, and they said goodbye in the hallway outside their quarters.

Keith waited until Allura’s door slid closed, then swiped his own door open. He found Shiro and Lance waiting for him, along with a huge plate of food they must’ve retrieved from the dining room. He hugged them for a long time, then kept on leaning against Shiro while Lance started unfastening and removing his armor, undressing him down to his black underclothes.

“Better?” Lance asked, once the armor was safely stored on the shelves at the back of the room. He was rubbing at his eyes, and he tried and failed to stifle a yawn. Keith felt a tug behind his navel; he could tell Lance was exhausted. He could share his mind with Shiro at will, but it was an effort for Lance to maintain this close of a connection to both of them, doubly so given that he had been actively helping Keith stay stable and coherent for the past several hours.

“Blue…” Keith brushed a wave of hair away from his forehead, focusing on the deep, ocean blue of his eyes. “I don’t know how to thank you.”

“I have a few ideas,” Lance mumbled, smiling sleepily. “For later.”

Keith smiled back. “Drop the connection, okay? You should rest. I’m guessing it’ll take some time for me to get through everything Krolia left for me.”

Lance rested his hands tentatively on Keith’s waist.

“No. I don’t want to forget what this feeling is like. And I like feeling like we’re all… together.”

“We _are_ together.” Keith covered Lance’s hands with his own and gently pushed them away. “We just can’t be… _close,_ right now. It doesn’t feel safe.”

Lance’s expression was pained.

“I’m not afraid of you, Red.”

“I know. But I’m not myself.”

Lance nodded slowly, and Shiro slipped an arm around his shoulders.

“Come on. Sit down with me.”

He let himself be steered to Keith’s bunk, and he and Shiro sat down on the edge of it together. He leaned heavily against Shiro’s chest while Keith sat down in the chair at the table.

“Let’s do this carefully,” Shiro told Keith. “I can keep up the connection while Lance drops out, and we’ll see how you feel.”

Keith nodded. “Okay. Go ahead, Blue.”

Lance closed his eyes and rested his head against Shiro’s neck. Keith felt a patch of blackness open up underneath the surface of his mind, as if a light inside himself had suddenly gone out. He felt his heart rate start to climb a little, so he inhaled deeply, and immediately regretted it. He caught a hint of citrus and worn leather, and his mouth started to water, and he wondered what it would feel like to press up against Lance’s naked body while Shiro-

“Keith.” His head snapped in Shiro’s direction. “Focus on me, okay?”

He focused on Shiro’s eyes – ever-changing gray, like clouds rolling in before a storm – and he forced the intrusive images to fade into the background again.

Shiro smiled.

“See? You can do this.”

Keith shook his head, scowling. “You’re helping me.”

Shiro shrugged a little. “What’s the point of all this, if we can’t help each other?”

“I don’t want you to have to-”

“What?” Shiro blinked at him. “Take care of you? Like you’ve been taking care of me?”

Keith flexed and unflexed his fingers. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Keith,” Lance mumbled, opening his eyes a bit. “We love you. So just… let us. Okay?”

Keith swallowed the impulse to argue. “Okay.”

“Wake me up when you’re done reading,” Lance told him. “I’ll kick your ass if you don’t.”

Keith felt himself smile. “I’ll kick your ass right back.”

“I’ll look forward to that.”

“Me, too.”

Lance failed to stifle another massive yawn. Shiro shifted his position until he was sitting upright against the wall at the head of Keith’s bunk, and Lance followed him, laying down on his stomach, draping an arm across his waist. He shifted for a moment, holding a fistful of Shiro’s shirt, and then went still. Shiro stroked lightly at his hair, and Keith watched them longingly, feeling compelled to slide into the bed and cover them both with kisses until they opened the arms to him, opened their mouths for him-

He took a long, slow breath, counting: eight seconds in, eight seconds out. He forced himself to stay seated. He willed the compulsion away.

“We had a good morning,” Shiro murmured, looking down at Lance, at the way Lance had fitted himself against the side of his body. “We missed you, though. We wanted you here, with us.”

Keith nodded. “I know.”

He turned to the plate of food they’d brought for him and stared at it. His mouth was still watering – his saliva felt thick and unusually slick when he moved his tongue over his teeth – but he knew it wasn’t from hunger, even though he’d barely eaten all day. He forced himself to take a bite, purely for the calories, and he found it hard to swallow. He felt hot and tense – apprehensive, as if he were about to sprint headlong into battle.

“I think I’m scared, Shiro,” he said.

“I know. We’re here.”

He looked at him, focusing on the gray of his eyes again, and forced himself to chew and swallow a few more bites.

Then he picked up Krolia’s tablet, switched it on, and started to read.

 

* * *

 

“Krolia?”

Keith set down the handful of firewood he’d been collecting. Krolia was sitting close to their firepit, sharpening the tip of a makeshift spear with a rock.

“Mm?”

She didn’t look up. She didn’t sense that there might be any particular significance to this conversation, and that suited Keith just fine. Despite the full six months they’d spent trapped on this creature together, sharing each other’s memories as they drifted through the quantum abyss, they were still learning to actually _talk_ to each other out loud. Whenever Keith caught a glimpse of one of Krolia’s more private memories, he usually kept his thoughts about it to himself.

But not this time.

“What was Dad like, when you first met him?”

He already knew part of the answer. He’d seen pieces of it for himself. But for some reason, he wanted to hear her say it. _Knowing_ and _being told_ are two very different things.

She looked up.

“Stubborn,” she said. She smiled. “Persistent.”

“In a good way?”

“Yes.”

“How so?”

She set the rock and the spear aside and brushed the dirt and dust from her hands.

“When we first started to… get closer… I couldn’t picture a future for the two of us. I couldn’t imagine how I could ever make him happy. Staying together meant secrecy… isolation… I couldn’t imagine that our feelings for each other would ever be enough, to take the place of everything he’d be giving up.”

Keith sat down across from her, tucking his legs underneath himself. The wolf pranced to his side and laid down next to him, like it wanted to hear the story, too.

“I’m guessing he didn’t see it that way.”

“No. He didn’t. He said he’d spent enough time alone. He said he’d do whatever it took to keep us together, even if it was only for a little while.”

Keith let silence hang between them for a moment. She’d opened the door to the conversation he really wanted to have, and he was trying to figure out how to step over the threshold.

“So… if it all felt so temporary, then why… I mean, why did you…”

She raised her eyebrows.

“Why did we have you?”

“By accident, right?” he said, before he could stop himself. “You couldn’t help it? You got carried away, or-”

“No, Keith, absolutely not.” Her eyes blazed, reflecting the glowing embers of the firepit. “We wanted you. We _chose_ to have you.”

He shook his head. “I don’t understand. You knew you might have to leave, someday, so-”

“You think it was cruel?” Her voice was quiet, but hard. “To bring you into the world, when our future was so uncertain?”

He glared at a spot on the ground.

“I didn’t say that.”

She stood up and picked up an armful of the wood Keith had collected, then added it slowly to the fire, giving it new life. The flames crackled and climbed. She sat back down again.

“Maybe it was cruel,” she said. “Selfish, at the very least. But you have to understand, Keith… the future is _always_ uncertain. Life almost never turns out the way you think it will. I was with your father for years before we decided to have you. And yes, we knew there was a chance that Zarkon could send more scouts to Earth, or that some other threat could eventually tear us apart. But when? In a week? A year? Ten? Twenty?” She shook her head. “We would’ve driven ourselves mad, just waiting, like that. So we decided to build a life, instead. We decided to take a chance on the future we both wanted. And we wanted you, Keith, more than either of us had ever wanted anything.”

Keith was staring into the heart of the fire. He wiped at his cheeks with the heel of his hand.

“There was more to it, though,” she eventually said. “I didn’t tell your father this until I’d already decided to leave, but… I knew that you’d be safe with him. I knew he would give you the life I wanted you to have, even if I couldn’t be part of it. I’ve been all over the universe, Keith, and your father… he was the only person I trusted enough to bond with. To have a child with. He was special. He was my greatest love, until you. And I never dreamed that he would…”

Her voice broke. She hung her head.

“I always thought I’d see him again,” she said, before her shoulders started to shake.

Keith stared at her, stunned. In all the time they’d spent together, he’d never seen her cry. And in all the time he’d spent contemplating the bits and pieces he’d glimpsed of her shared history with his father, it had never occurred to him that she must miss him desperately, too.

He stood up and walked over to her. He sank down onto his knees, put his arms around her, and experienced the particular intimacy of shared grief for the first time in his life.

Eventually, he stood up, dried his face with his sleeve, and added more wood to the fire. He sat down across from her again and stroked at the fur on the wolf’s back.

“So… Shiro,” Krolia said, a little stiffly, wiping at her nose. “I saw part of the conversation you had, before he left for Kerberos.”

“Oh.” Keith cleared his throat. “That was… I was just…” He stopped. There was no point lying to her. She’d learn the truth, eventually. “I know it was stupid,” he said. “But I would’ve graduated pretty soon after he got back, and… anyway. It doesn’t matter anymore. He doesn’t feel that way about me.”

“He _couldn’t_ feel that way about you,” she said. “He’s honorable, based on all your memories of him. It would’ve been… inappropriate.”

He ran a hand through his hair. “I know.”

“But your recent memories are… different,” she said. “There’s a closeness-”

“I can’t think about that,” he said, cutting her off. “We’re friends, now. I can’t screw that up. I’ll never risk losing him again.”

She nodded. “I think that’s wise. You have enough to worry about. Maybe someday…” She shook her head. “Anyway. I’m glad he’s a part of your life.”

They watched the fire in silence for a few minutes, while Keith worked up the courage to broach one final subject. He scratched between the wolf’s ears, wishing he could project the image directly into her mind, so he wouldn’t have to explain.

“I saw a child,” he finally blurted. “Not a baby. He could’ve been four or five, maybe older. His eyes were just like mine. His hair was, too, except… it reflected blue, in the light...” He looked at her. “You never saw me when I was four or five. It couldn’t have been one of your memories.”

She smiled.

“A flash of the future, maybe?”

He blinked at her.

“ _My_ future?”

“Is it so hard to imagine a child in your future?”

“I… I don’t know. I felt… _something_. But… I mean, even if we keep on making progress against the Empire, this war might not end in my lifetime. Why would I bring a child into the middle of all this?”

“Maybe for the same reasons I did. To bring goodness into the world. To build a family to belong to.”

“But _how_? I belong out here, now.” He gestured to the vastness of space all around them. “I’m a soldier. I don’t see how I could be a parent, too.”

“Parents and soldiers have much in common. Resilience. Compassion. Commitment.”

“You were committed to me and Dad,” he said. “But you were committed to the cause, too, and eventually you had to choose.”

“I always chose you, Keith.”

He took a moment to process this, then nodded.

“Look,” she said. “I don’t know if I believe that these flashes we’re seeing are set in stone. I think we have control over the choices we make. I think your future can be whatever you want it to be. And I sincerely hope that you’ll make room in your life to find someone, the way your father and I found each other.”

He took a long, slow breath. He watched the glowing ash swirl in the breeze.

“I hope for that, too.”

He thought about the nameless child with blue-black hair, and then he thought about the two other children he hadn’t told Krolia about. He’d barely seen their faces, and the images were fading fast, but he remembered their eyes.

Gray, like the clouds before a storm, and blue, like the sea.

 

* * *

 

Keith set the tablet down on the table and rubbed at his eyes. He hadn’t checked the time when he’d started reading, but he guessed he’d been at it for at least a couple of hours. He had transferred the data to his own personal records, taken some notes, and re-read several sections multiple times, trying to process the information and all of its implications. He’d been stalling for the last half hour, scrolling over his notes again and again, avoiding the inevitable. Avoiding the conversation that could permanently alter the course of his life.

He looked at Shiro, who was staring at a block of text on the holographic display above his wrist while Lance slept soundly on his stomach. It wasn’t difficult to picture this scenario in another time and place: coming home to Lance and Shiro, already in bed and waiting for him. Sliding between them, under the covers. Spending all night in their arms with no one else to save, and nowhere else to be.

Shiro looked up, switching off his display. He had been hovering in the background of Keith’s mind the whole time, and Keith was grateful. He knew he never would’ve made it to the end without Shiro’s help.

Shiro moved his hand lightly over Lance’s back. He leaned down and pressed his lips to the top of his head.

“Hey, Lance. Time to wake up, okay?”

Lance opened his eyes and rolled over.

“Keith? Are you okay?”

He sat up and swung his legs off the edge of the bunk, like he was going to stand and move in Keith’s direction, but he stopped himself at the last minute. Shiro shifted until they were sitting side by side, and Lance leaned against his shoulder.

“I have to tell you some things,” Keith said. He’d planned it all out, basically written a script for himself. All he had to do was say the words out loud.

All he had to do was ignore every single impulse that was burning him up from the inside out.

“We’re listening,” Shiro said.

Keith stared between them, thinking he’d give just about anything to climb into bed with them. Wondering if he ever would, again.

“Some of what’s happening to me is temporary,” he said. He’d decided to lead with the positives. “The obsession with your scent… the increased libido… the possessiveness… those things are happening because I ingested your… semen.”

He paused to clear his throat. _Keep it clinical. Stick to the script._

“I’m chemically bonded to you,” he went on, “and I’m being flooded with hormones that are telling me to… pursue you. It’s almost like a type of withdrawal. I keep searching for chemical markers in your sweat that aren’t there, because the bond is one-sided. But…” He swallowed, hoping they’d take his word for it, hoping they’d do as he suggested without digging any deeper. “If we keep our distance for a while, the hormones should eventually clear out of my system.”

He watched them as they started to process this information. Shiro looked thoughtful. Lance looked rattled.

“But… why is the bond one-sided?” Lance eventually asked.

Keith sighed.

_Deeper, we go._

“All that extra precum, this morning?” He was staring at the floor, his cheeks heating up as he spoke. “It… it contains the bonding agent. The trigger. You haven’t ingested or absorbed any of it, so you’re safe, for now.”

“Why the withdrawal, then?” Shiro asked. “I mean, if the connection isn’t complete, then what’s happening to you?”

Keith met his eye. “Your naturally occurring hormones altered my chemical makeup. I can detect them in your sweat, now, and they’re stimulating the hormone production. Just being in this room with you is prolonging the effect.”

Lance stared at him, open-mouthed.

Shiro cleared his throat.

“How long will it take for the hormones to clear your system?”

“I don’t know. For the Galra, it takes a few days.”

“And what would happen if we just finished the bonding process, instead?”

Keith hesitated. “It’s… complicated. It’s not an option right now.”

“Why not?” Lance asked. “Wouldn’t it make you feel better?”

“Eventually, but-”

“Then we should do it.” The confidence in Lance’s voice set heat and tension pooling in Keith’s belly. He flexed his fingers, swallowing thickly against the excess saliva.

“No, it’s… it’s not something we can just jump into.”

“Then walk us through it,” Shiro prodded. “All three of us need to weigh the options. What would happen if we went through with it?”

“You’d be unstable, like I am,” Keith said, hearing frustration bleed into his tone. “You’d start producing hormones like mine, and you’d be emotional, and aggressive, and obsessed with staying close to me. The hormones want to be expelled. _Exchanged._ The Galra just keep on… _bonding_ … until they reach a saturation point, and then…”

Shiro raised his eyebrows. “And then what?”

“Well… the symptoms are supposed to even out, after that. They don’t disappear completely… bonded Galra always feel attracted, emotionally joined, protective… but not to this extreme.”

“Hang on,” Lance said, frowning. “How is that not the solution, then? We’ll get closer, you’ll feel better-”

“Lance, _no_.” Keith swiped a hand through his hair, feeling hot and agitated, staring at the outline of Lance’s collarbone through his shirt. “I lost my fucking _mind_ today, remember? What if we’d been attacked again? Can you imagine what would happen if I had to lead the team right now? All _three_ of us would be compromised-”

“For how long?” Shiro asked, interrupting. “A few hours?”

“I don’t know-”

“For the Galra, though?”

“ _Yes_ , a few hours, but-”

“Keith, we have to at least consider-”

Keith stood up so suddenly that his chair collided with the wall in an angry clatter.

“We don’t _have_ to do anything,” he said, his voice hard and angry, his stance aggressive. “I’m not going to trap you into a decision like this. This is _serious_ , for the Galra. When they decide to bond, it’s like being…”

He tore his eyes away from them and stared at the floor. He couldn’t say it. He _wouldn’t-_

“Married?” Lance asked, his voice small.

Keith gave a single nod.

“But… what if that’s what we want?”

Keith didn’t – _couldn’t –_ look at him. The softness in Lance’s voice made him want to give in, to submit to the depth of what he was feeling. It made him want to tell them about the nameless children with eyes that looked just like theirs.

Keith knew there was a version of the future where the three of them became each other’s family. He wanted to earn that future, felt himself straining toward it with a desperation that shook him to his core. But he also knew, in that moment, that he’d rather die than force them into it.

He needed to know that they’d chosen it for themselves. He needed to know that they wanted it as desperately as he did.

“Lance…” Shiro had one hand between his shoulder blades. “I think Keith’s right. We shouldn’t rush something like this. You need to take some time to think about it.”

Keith saw movement in his periphery. Lance was on his feet.

“Right,” Lance said. He sounded like he was an inch away from crying. “ _I_ need to think about it. You don’t, though. You two are practically married already.”

Shiro stood up, too.

“No, Lance, that came out wrong-”

“No, it didn’t. I’ve been in your head, remember? I _know._ This would be an easy choice, if it weren’t for me.”

Keith was on him before he knew what he was doing. He pinned Lance against the door with his body, holding his wrists flush against the smooth, metal surface on either side of his head. He spared himself a second to take in the blue of Lance’s eyes, and then he pushed at his face with his forehead until Lance’s cheek was pressed against the door, too.

 _“Being with you is the easiest choice I’ve ever made,”_ he growled, close to his ear. _“That’s not what this is about. Do you understand me?”_

Lance didn’t struggle against his hold. Keith felt him swallow before he whispered, _“Yes.”_

Keith shuddered. The word sounded like an invitation. Like _permission._ He pressed his face against Lance’s neck, and his head swam as he inhaled the smell of his skin. He felt Lance’s forearms tense in his hold and tightened his grip while he opened his mouth and _tasted_ the front of his throat. He felt the vibration of Lance’s strangled gasp on the tip of his tongue, and then he felt Lance’s mouth brushing against the outer rim of his ear, hot and soft and _willing-_

 _“Keith-_ ”

 _“Lance-_ ”

“Guys-”

Shiro was there, forcing an arm between them, pulling Keith backward, away from Lance-

 _“Shiro, stop-_ ”

Keith barely recognized his own voice, but he didn’t care. It didn’t matter. Lance needed him, they _needed each other_ , the distance was _unbearable-_

“Keith. Look at me.”

Shiro was holding his face with both hands. Keith grabbed onto his wrists, struggling to focus on his eyes, feeling hot and angry and disoriented…

“What?” he demanded. “Why… why did you…”

He looked over Shiro’s shoulder and saw Lance wiping tears away from his cheeks.

“Lance?” He felt panic spike in his chest. “What happened? What’s wrong?”

Lance shook his head. “I’m okay.”

“Did I hurt you?”

“No. You didn’t. I promise. I’m just… tired.” He sniffed. “You were right. I… I need some time.”

He tapped the panel in the wall, and the door slid open behind him.

“Call if you need me,” he said, backing away from them.

He left.

Keith hung his head.

He squeezed Shiro’s wrists until his hands went numb.


	16. This Is Why I Need You

Shiro sat on the edge of his bunk with his elbows on his knees, rubbing at his forehead with the heel of his hand.

Helping Keith maintain some measure of emotional stability had been a manageable task with Lance by his side, and as concerned as he was for Keith’s well-being, it had been a beautifully intimate experience, too. He had felt that all three of them were already well into the process of binding themselves to each other, even before Keith hade made any mention of doing so physically.

Now, he was reeling from the sudden distance that had sprung up between them. It was _painful,_ a tender wrongness heightening the dull ache behind his eyes.

_Shiro. You have to put up a wall, or something. I don’t have the energy to push you out._

_I don’t want to leave you._

_I can’t argue with you right now. I just need to get through this. We can talk when it’s over._

_Keith-_

_Go get Lance. He needs you._

Shiro groaned aloud. Lance had made this manageable, and Shiro had been steadily losing his grip on the situation without his help. His head was pounding with the effort of trying to bring some semblance of calm to the chaos inside of Keith, a tangled mess of emotional disorder that had been growing worse ever since the three of them had separated. As difficult as it had been for Keith to keep his cool with Lance and Shiro nearby, those emotions had been flowing in a relatively positive direction. Keith had been using every ounce of his strength to avoid sinking to his knees and promising the rest of his life to them right then, before dragging both of them to bed. Shiro knew it. He’d _felt_ it.

He’d wanted it, too.

_Jesus, Shiro! You need to get out of my head!_

“Fuck,” Shiro said, to the room at large. An hour ago Keith had been ready to get down on his knees, and now he was ready to shatter his own knuckles. Shiro could physically feel the impact of Keith’s fists whaling on a heavy bag in the simulation room, trying desperately to rid himself of the energy that was breaking him apart from the inside out.

And Shiro was only feeding the chaos.

 _Okay,_ Shiro told him. _I’ll try to put up a wall. But you NEED to call me if-_

_I’LL BE OKAY JUST GO_

Shiro squeezed his eyes shut and clawed his way to the astral plane, scowling into the twilight. Keith’s image didn’t appear – his consciousness was wholly occupied with the task of bashing his knuckles bloody – but it didn’t matter. This whole exercise was metaphysical, anyway. Shiro could sense Keith all around him, could feel the places where their minds had permanently fused, like squares on a quilt with overlapping patterns. He needed to put a boundary back in place.

But how? Should he imagine a physical barrier? Between himself and… what, exactly? The pieces of Keith’s mind that were married to his own? What would that even-

His thought process ground to a halt. He’d seen something flickering at the edge of his vision.

_Keith?_

_Shiro-_

He saw it again. An image flickering in and out of view, for a fraction of a second at a time. Was it someone’s face? Someone young?

_I thought I saw-_

_I FUCKING LOVE YOU, SHIRO, BUT YOU NEED TO GET THE FUCK OUT._

The whole world went dark. Where there had been an infinite number of shimmering stars across the twilit firmament, there was only infinite, inky blackness.

Keith had found the energy, after all.

Shiro was alone.

His heart rate started to climb. The edges of his lips went numb. His stomach twisted, he struggled to swallow, he thought he might be sick.

This was unbearable. It was unthinkable. He couldn’t stand it, not for another second. He wanted…

He _wanted._

He closed his eyes, hugged his arms across his chest, and basked in the beautiful misery of _wanting._

He grabbed his Olkari crown and left his quarters.

 

* * *

 

Keith: Blue? I’m sorry. About everything.

 

Lance had been staring at the words on his tablet, trying to figure out how to respond. He was sitting on the center of his bunk, running one hand absently over the blanket, noticing that this bed barely felt like his own, anymore. The idea of sleeping here alone sent intermittent waves of nausea from the pit of his stomach to the back of his throat.

But he would _have_ to sleep alone, right? He couldn’t picture sleeping with Shiro without Keith, especially after what had just happened, and he _definitely_ couldn’t sleep with Keith until further notice. He had to stay away. That was what Keith needed.

It wasn’t what Keith wanted, though. He knew that. His wrists still ached from the way Keith had _pressed_ them against the door, pinning him in place with his hands, and his hips, and his mouth. Keith been fighting the impulse to solidify their bond all day, and Lance knew both of them would’ve given in right then, if Shiro hadn’t intervened.

Keith had put up an incredible fight, and he’d done it for their sake.

None of them wanted things to be this way.

 

Lance: I’m sorry, too. I miss you.

Keith: I miss you too.

Lance: I’m still here for you. You know that, right?

Keith: I know. You saved me today. I’ll find a way to make all of this up to you.

 

“Lance?”

There was a knock at his door.

Shiro was calling for him.

 

Lance: Promise you won’t give up on us?

Keith: I promise. Do you?

Lance: I do.

 

Lance set the tablet aside and stood up to open the door. Shiro was there, standing just outside the frame, holding himself still. He looked like he usually did after a long mission: worn and weary around the eyes, tired-to-the-bone after days at a time with too-little sleep. He was wearing an Olkari crown.

“Hey,” he said. “I just wanted to see you.”

Lance nodded.

“I’m sorry for taking off like that. I just needed a few minutes.”

“Did you talk to Keith?”

Lance raised an eyebrow.

“I figured you’d know. I mean, I thought you were in his head, and everything.”

“No. He’s trying to keep it together on his own. He’s blowing off steam with Krolia in the simulation room. He… he kinda kicked me out.”

“Oh.” Lance cleared his throat. “Uh… yeah, we just exchanged some messages. I think we’re okay. Or… something.”

Shiro’s eyebrows drew together in concern, and Lance felt the ache in his chest intensify. He couldn’t stand to see Shiro looking so distressed, and he hated the tension that was hanging between them, so he raised his hand and moved his thumb over Shiro’s forehead, trying to smooth the worry away.

Shiro caught his hand and kissed the back of it. He didn’t let go.

“Go for a walk with me?”

 

* * *

 

They didn’t speak again until the elevator doors slid open, revealing the massive hangar on the first level of the building. They kept their fingers intertwined as they walked across the cavernous space together, toward the lions.

“I saw Pidge’s report,” Shiro explained. “She and Hunk recharged the green and yellow lions past eighty percent. Looks like you got Red up to sixty-five before you left. I thought you and I could get started on Black and Blue.”

“Really? You’re feeling up to it?”

Shiro squeezed his hand.

“I can do it, if you’re with me. Just like earlier. Just like always.”

Lance felt his shoulders drop a little bit. The longer he spent in Shiro’s presence – the more he listened to his soothing, lilting voice – the better he felt, in both body and mind.

They came to a stop in front of the black lion. Shiro closed his eyes, still holding firmly to Lance’s hand.

“Hello, old friend,” he murmured. “Remember me?”

The lion’s eyes gleamed, a momentary flash of yellow-white light. It lowered its head and opened its mouth, and Shiro smiled, then bent slightly at the waist in a subtle bow.

“I missed you, too.”

He led Lance up to the cockpit, keeping hold of his hand until they were standing behind the pilot’s chair. Then he stepped close and adjusted Lance’s crown, arranging the waves of his hair around it, tucking a few strands behind his ear.

“I have a confession to make,” he said, resting his thumb high on Lance’s cheekbone. Lance leaned into his touch, feeling a bit more of the tension between them start to slip away.

“Something scandalous, I hope.”

Shiro nodded. “ _Very.”_

Lance smiled. “Okay. Out with it.”

“Well… we do need to try to recharge the lions,” Shiro said, still moving his fingertips through Lance’s hair, over his ear. “But I also couldn’t wait to get you alone.”

Lance giggled. “I was alone in my quarters.”

“I know. But we need to talk, and I wanted us to be close while we do, so you’ll know I’m telling you the truth.”

He brushed his knuckles lightly over Lance’s cheek, then picked up both of his hands and held them.

“I know what you want to ask me. I know you’ve been trying not to, but you should.” He kissed Lance’s lips, once, lightly. “It’ll be okay. You’re safe with me. I promise.”

Lance nodded. It was a relief, really, to finally let the question fall out of his mouth.

“Would you have fallen for me, like this, if it weren’t for Keith?”

Shiro tilted his head to one side.

“There are so many different ways that I could answer that question. I was so worried, at first, that you would ask me, and I would choose the wrong one. I needed a little time to figure out what to say.”

Lance nodded again, waiting patiently. His hands warmed and tingled as Shiro’s thumbs moved over his knuckles.

“I love the way you care about Keith,” Shiro said, his voice low and even. “I do. I can’t apologize for that. I love what you’re like when you’re with him. I love you for making him laugh, and driving him crazy, and bringing out the best in him. Keeping him strong. I fell for you through his eyes, at first, but… Lance…”

Shiro let go of his hands and took hold of his waist.

“I fell for you all over again as soon as I got close to you. I love _you_ , all on your own. I’ve already lost count of the reasons why, and it’s only been a couple of days. Imagine what it’ll be like a month from now. Or a year. Or five. Or ten.”

Lance’s mouth fell open. Shiro pulled him closer.

“You make me feel like I’m actually _alive_ in this body,” he said. “You make me feel all kinds of things I didn’t think I was even _capable_ of feeling. And I’m so sorry, Lance, if this isn’t the way you wanted things to happen-”

Shiro didn’t finish the thought, because Lance was kissing him. His lips were soft; familiar, now, but still so wonderfully _new_. Shiro wondered if it would always feel this way – if, years from now, long after he’d memorized every corner and habit of Lance’s mouth, the sweetness of their lips fitting perfectly together would still take him by surprise.

_“Ashi?”_

Lance had barely pulled away. Shiro inclined his head to brush the tips of their noses together.

_“Mm?”_

_“You’re glowing.”_

He pulled Lance’s right hand from his shoulder and laced their fingers together, holding it where Lance could see.

_“So are you.”_

Lance blinked. Shiro watched tiny particles of light scatter from his eyelashes.

_“Shiro… if I take some time to think about it, like you said… and I decide that I want to be bonded to you and Keith… would you try to talk me out of it?”_

Shiro pressed his lips to the center of his forehead.

_“No.”_

Lance’s eyes went wide, the shimmering light reflecting sparks of vibrant blue around his pupils.

 _“You want to-?_ ”

 _“Yes.”_ Shiro shook his head a little. _“I never want to go back to how things were, before.”_

Lance went on staring.

 _“But… I… I’m-_ ”

 _“You,”_ Shiro said, releasing Lance’s hand to cradle the back of his head, instead, _“are a part of myself I never want to lose.”_

Lance stopped breathing altogether, feeling light and lightheaded. His mind was struggling to catch up with Shiro’s words, which were taking root inside his chest – burrowing deep, past muscle and bone – transforming into something permanent.

 _“Shiro, I-_ ”

_“Ashi.”_

Lance’s eyelids fluttered.

 _“Ashi… I’m sorry that I-_ ”

 _“It’s okay. It’s okay if you get worried, sometimes. I’ll figure out how to make it right.”_ Shiro’s fingers tightened in his hair. _“You believe me?”_

Lance swallowed.

_“I do.”_

They watched the light reflecting in each other’s eyes until even the whisper of distance between them was too much, and then they kissed each other until that flimsy barrier was long forgotten, as if it had never been there at all.

 

* * *

 

As much as Lance couldn’t stand the thought of sitting down to dinner without Keith, spending time with Shiro had smoothed over the frayed edges of his nerves. He felt energized and optimistic, reassured that the three of them were moving toward a common destination, even if their paths diverged for a while. He piled food onto his plate, feeling hungry for the first time all day, and then sat down at the table between Shiro and Hunk.

He checked his holographic display as discreetly as he could and confirmed that Keith was still in the simulation room with Krolia. Keith had set his communicator to broadcast his location to Lance and Shiro, so that the three of them could avoid running into each other as they moved around the building. It was a necessary evil; Lance had only agreed to it because it was comforting to see Keith at all, even as a tiny red dot on a holographic map.

“Guys?”

The room went quiet as everyone turned their attention to Shiro.

“Does anyone object to starting our meeting while we eat, tonight? I have a few things to share.”

All three of them had exchanged messages about what to say to the group about their situation, and they’d agreed it would be best to share a small portion of the truth. Everyone was listening attentively, so Shiro forged ahead.

“Keith and Krolia have to miss dinner tonight,” he said. “Keith is dealing with some issues related to his Galra heritage. He’ll be fine, but he might need a little time to himself.”

Shiro fielded questions and concerned comments from the group at large, reassuring them as best he could without giving them much more information. It was skillfully done. No one could deny that Shiro was still a leader to them all – perhaps now more than ever, given the confidence of his tone and the soothing calm he could project at will. Was he evolving this way of his own accord, along his own path of personal growth? Or had Lance and Keith altered that path, steering him to become something _more?_ Lance wasn’t sure, but he hadn’t taken a bite of his dinner yet, because he could still taste the flavor of Shiro’s mouth on his lips, and he couldn’t help thinking that for all the mess and the risk and the uncertainty, he and Shiro and Keith had to be moving each other toward something _important_.

“Krolia spent the day helping the Olkari sift through the transmissions they intercepted from the Galra during the battle,” Shiro was saying. “We should have a full report by the end of the day tomorrow. We were also able to recover some data from the wreckage of the cruiser and the smaller ship that tried to escape, but, of course, it’s all encrypted. The Olkari are still working on accessing the information.”

“I’m guessing there’s a good chance those ships came from a larger faction,” Pidge said. “Their battle tactics were sound. Their weapons were advanced. There’s a chance their friends could still come looking for them, right?”

Shiro nodded. “Yeah. But we’ll be ready if they do. The Olkari have already finished their repairs to the shields and the fleet. Lance and I just finished recharging the rest of the lions, too. We’re good to go.”

Allura cleared her throat. “You finished charging three lions? All on your own?”

Shiro met her eye with a steady gaze. “We did.”

“I… I see. That’s good news. Thank you, both.” She smiled faintly, but Lance caught the tension in her expression, and he could guess where it was coming from. His bond with Keith and Shiro had grown strong enough that they could channel quintessence at will. His friendship with Hunk was strong enough, too, and now, apparently, Hunk and Pidge had also arrived at a new level of closeness. Who did Allura have to bond with? To shine with?

His gaze drifted to Romelle, who was sitting next to Allura, watching her closely. Her eyebrows were drawn, her lips pressed together in concern. Her elbow was barely an inch away from Allura’s arm.

_Huh._

Did they always sit so close together? Lance knew they were friends, obviously. More than that, really, given their shared history and heritage. There probably wasn’t anything else to it.

_Except…_

Except Lance knew that he and Keith had probably looked like that, sitting together at breakfast after they’d kissed each other for the first time in the game room.

“I should be able to start working on the forests in the morning,” Pidge said, pulling Lance away from his musings. “I can let Ryner know, if that works for everyone.”

“Sounds great, Pidge,” Shiro said. “What do you need?”

“Not much. I already have the proposed plans from the Olkari. I don’t even need all of the lions, but anyone who wants to come along can help out.”

“I’ll be there!” Hunk told her, nudging her lightly with an elbow. She smiled, her cheeks turning to a faint shade of pink, though she didn’t look back at him.

“Thanks, Hunk.”

“Count me in, too,” Allura said. She and Pidge exchanged a sincere smile that Lance was pleased to witness. It didn’t seem like his relationship with Shiro and Keith had caused the team any irreparable damage. Not yet, anyway. All things considered, Team Voltron seemed to be in decent shape.

Except, of course, for Keith.

Lance tapped at his holographic display under the table.

 

Lance: Dinner sucks without you.

Keith: Training sucks without you.

Lance: Should I ask how you’re feeling?

Keith: Not until further notice.

Lance: Don’t break yourself. We need you in one piece.

Keith: No promises. You can help put me back together.

 

“Okay… any other items for tonight?” Shiro was asking the group, preparing to wrap up their meeting. There was no response, so everyone turned back to their food and their individual conversations. Lance was halfway through his plate before he knew what he was doing, suddenly ravenous, still coming down from the high of shining with Shiro in the black lion, of feeling Shiro’s fingers trailing up and down his back while they kissed each other over and over-

“Hey, man,” Hunk prompted, poking his arm with the end of his fork. “Are we punishing the food? Has the food wronged us somehow?”

Lance giggled, surveying the devastation on his plate.

“Guess I was starving.”

“More so than usual, I’d say.”

“Mm. It’s been a long day.”

“Yeah? Wanna tell me about it? I could use your help with something, after this.”

“Ooh. Super secret project?”

“Uh huh.”

“Excellent.”

 

* * *

 

 

“ _Married_?!” Lance winced at the shrill note in Hunk’s tone. “ _Keith_ is talking about getting _married_?!”

Lance waved his hands back and forth, shaking his head. “No. I’m pretty sure he was trying really hard _not_ to talk about getting married. But he said the bonding is _like_ getting married, when the Galra do it.”

“ _It_ being _sex,_ right? Pass me that yellow stuff.”

Lance handed Hunk a steel container of a substance that vaguely resembled butter. Hunk emptied it into a bowl along with several other ingredients and started stirring.

“If you want to get technical,” Lance said, sniffing at a rectangular container of small, brown, circular objects that could have been beans or nuts, “you could call it an exchange of bodily fluids.”

“Gross! Let’s call it sex! And don’t get your germs on those, dude, I need them.”

Lance set the container back down on the table.

“Okay, fine, yes, _sex_ , lots of it. It’s this whole hormone chain reaction thing, or something.”

Hunk raised an eyebrow, still stirring. “Sounds like you’re a little fuzzy on the details.”

“Uh, yeah, because Keith pinned me against a door and started sucking on my neck before we could finish talking about it.”

“Yikes. Uh. I need a blender, or a food processor or something.”

“No, not yikes,” Lance said, opening several cabinets in succession until he found a large appliance with a sharp-looking blade. “Fucking _sexy._ You don’t understand what he’s like when he gets all…” He shivered at the memory, groaning in frustration. “Also, why do the Olkari have a food processor that looks just like the one my mom uses?”

Hunk shrugged. “They exchanged a bunch of records with Earth before they destroyed the teludav. They used the specs to build this room after I asked if I could see their kitchen. I told them not to but… well, you know how they are. It probably took them all of five minutes, so I don’t feel that guilty about it.”

“What are these things?” Lance asked, picking up one of the tiny circular objects with a measuring spoon.

“Try one. They’re safe.”

Lance popped it into his mouth and crunched.

“Huh. Almost like cashews, or-”

“Peanuts, yeah,” Hunk said. “Pidge loves peanut butter. These should make a decent approximation.”

Lance raised his eyebrows.

“You’re making peanut butter for Pidge?”

Hunk raised his eyebrows right back.

“You’re thinking about having forever-sex with Keith and Shiro?”

They stared at each other intently until Hunk finally cracked a smile, and then they giggled a little bit while he emptied the nuts into the food processor and ground them down to a sawdust-like consistency.

“I don’t think it’s _forever-sex_ ,” Lance told him. “I’m not sure if Keith even knows exactly what would happen. But he wouldn’t even consider trying it. He thinks he’d be forcing us into it, since he’s in some kind of compromised state, or whatever, which, _come on_ , as if Keith could ever _force_ me to do anything-”

“Hang on,” Hunk said, his tone serious, now. “You said he pinned you against a door, though, right?”

“Yeah. He was all amped. I wanted him to, though. I liked it.”

“But maybe he didn’t.”

“Huh?”

“I mean, maybe he doesn’t like feeling so out of control. Maybe he’s worried about actually… you know… _forcing_ you.”

“What? No way! We already talked about it. He knows he has consent.”

“For what? Sex? Under very different circumstances, dude. Consenting to having your body chemistry totally altered is a _completely_ different thing. And, by the way, _Keith_ never got the chance to consent to it, either, and I’m guessing it’s probably fucking with his entire world view and self-image, so… yikes. I think I’d want to break my knuckles on a heavy bag, too.”

Lance gaped.

Hunk was right.

The three of them had been so busy worrying about what all this could mean for their relationship, Lance had barely started to consider what it meant for Keith, specifically – Keith, the living, breathing _person_ he _loved_ whose life had just been permanently altered-

“Uhhhh holy shit I’m an idiot,” he announced.

Hunk squinted at him.

“In general? Or about this specific thing?”

“Dude.”

“Sorry. Okay. No, you’re not an idiot, but it doesn’t sound like you have all the information. I mean, I know you were looking forward to getting all snuggly with Keith, but it sounds like he could probably use a friend right now.”

Lance chewed on his lower lip while Hunk spooned the semi-liquid contents of the bowl into the blender and combined the whole mess into a smooth paste. He took the lid off, dunked a spoon into the mixture and handed it to Lance.

Lance popped it into his mouth absently. It took a moment for the taste to register, but when it did, he rolled his eyes in Hunk’s direction and hummed, savoring.

“You made _peanut butter_ from _space nuts._ Holy hell, this is good. Pidge is gonna lose her mind.”

Hunk’s eyes lit up.

“Yeah?”

Lance studied him for a second, licking the spoon clean.

“You kissed her.”

Hunk grabbed the spoon back from him.

“How do you _always_ know?!” He was trying to be exasperated, but a smile crept onto his face all the same.

“You recharged the lions without me. I figured you got all smoochy. How’d it go down?”

Hunk started spooning the contents of the food processor into a glass container.

“Well, we weren’t sure if the lion was still charging after you left, and neither of us wanted to break the connection to check, because we weren’t sure if we could make it back on our own. So I told her, y’know, we were already holding hands in real life, so we could try it on the astral plane, too, and she just grabbed my hand like it wasn’t a big deal. And that was nice, but we didn’t, like, _feel_ anything? So I asked if we should try hugging, and she just kinda dove at me, like, more in a silly way, like she usually does. But she held on for a while, and that _did_ feel different, like, warmer, maybe? And while she was hugging me she was like, _Well, Keith and Lance were kinda just friends when they were making out in the black lion_ , and I thought I was going to pass out, or something, because I honestly didn’t think Pidge would ever bring something like that up, and then… it was like…”

Hunk gestured vaguely, looking for the words.

“It was like I could _feel_ what she was feeling, all of a sudden, and I _knew_ she was thinking about kissing me, and I _panicked,_ dude! I started rambling about how I offered to kiss you back at the Garrison, just as friends… and she said she thought that you were pretty stupid for turning me down, and that I was a really good friend… and I asked her if she thought kissing on the astral plane would count as kissing in real life, and she said maybe it would be good practice, and she wouldn’t mind if we tried it, and then…”

He stopped. He raised one hand to the back of his neck, looking embarrassed.

“And then _what_?!” Lance wailed, spreading his arms away from his chest.

“I… I got so nervous,” Hunk explained, “that I _fell off the astral plane.”_

Lance burst out laughing.

“What?!”

“Uh huh. Like, I just opened my eyes by accident, and she was just sitting there next to me, holding my hand, and I tried closing my eyes again, but it was all normal eyelids back there, man! _Oh my God,_ I was so embarrassed, we weren’t even glowing or anything, and I thought she’d be so pissed, but then she opened her eyes and laughed really hard, and she didn’t even let go of my hand! And then _guess what she said!_ ”

“What?!”

“She said, _Well, Keith and Lance were kissing in real life, not on the astral plane_ , and I was like, _Uh huh, you’re so right_ , and she was like, _Well, we have to recharge the lions, so we should try it_ , so I kinda leaned in, and she kinda met me halfway, and I sorta smudged her glasses on the first try, so she took them off, and then…”

Lance rolled his eyes. “And then…?”

Hunk broke into a wide grin. “I kissed her!”

“And?? How was it?!”

“Uh… good! I think! Kind of awkward, since we were sitting on the floor, and I didn’t really know what to do with my hands… like, I didn’t think I should touch her, or anything, without asking her first, so I didn’t… but, yeah. It felt good. Kinda… bubbly. We tried it a few times, and… we were glowing.”

Hunk’s expression was wistful. Lance beamed at him.

“Did you talk about it after?”

“Yeah. She said she thought it felt really nice. She’s not sure if she wants to do anything else, but she said we could try kissing again, sometime.”

“Dude!” Lance nudged his arm with the heel of his hand. “That’s so exciting!”

“I know. Thus, the peanut butter. I just… I dunno. I wanted to do something nice. Not, like, romantic, or whatever. I don’t even think she likes romantic stuff, and we’re just friends, but… I like her.”

“And you want to kiss her again?”

“Definitely.”

Lance nodded. “You did good, buddy. You deserve each other.”

Hunk tackled him into a bear hug. “Thanks, man.”

 _“No prob,”_ Lance wheezed.

“But… sorry, dude,” Hunk said, letting him go. Lance gulped a mouthful of air. “We got all sidetracked. What are you going to do about Keith?”

He thought for a moment.

“You know how the soap in our quarters kinda smells like cocoa?”

“Yeah. It’s a little minty, too, I think.”

“Do you think the ingredients might be edible?”

Hunk flashed him a grin.

“C’mon. We can check their database. I know where they keep all their supplies.”

 

* * *

 

Keith’s body was screaming.

He was sitting on the floor in his shower with his elbows on his knees, letting cool water run over the aching muscles in his back, wondering how he was going to survive the night.

He touched his fingertips to the clear, waterproof bandages on his knuckles, examining the torn and bloody skin beneath. He’d worn gloves, at first. Krolia had insisted. But he’d thrown punch after full-body punch and barely registered the impact, barely felt the contact he was so desperately seeking.

He needed to run his tongue over Lance’s throat. He needed to press his face between Shiro’s naked thighs. He needed to bury himself to the hilt inside their bodies and make them his, forever, for always.

He needed things he couldn’t have, so he’d tried to put the _need_ somewhere else.

It had followed him back here, though.

He hugged his knees to his chest, trying to dampen the desire that pulsed from the pit of his stomach to the tip of his cock. He refused to touch himself.

He squeezed his hands into fists, chasing the delicious diversion that pain could sometimes be. His wounds reopened.

Shiro would not be impressed. Not that it mattered, because Shiro wasn’t here. Keith had forced him out, chased him away from the incriminating images that were cluttering his mind.

_Our children. Yours, and Lance’s, and mine._

“I need you,” he announced to the concrete floor, and no one answered, because he’d built a wall between himself and the people he loved.

Krolia had wanted to stay. He’d asked her to go.

She’d said that he should talk to Shiro and Lance, that he’d be comforted by their voices, by their words, even if they couldn’t come close.

He’d typed them brief messages and locked himself away.

She’d said that this was probably the worst of it, that it could all be over within a day. He’d told her he could manage it.

He’d lied.

Eventually, he stood up, turned off the shower, and dried himself off. He stared at his reflection in the mirror for a while, wondering why he looked whole, when he knew he was only a third of himself.

He didn’t bother getting dressed. He put his communicator back onto his wrist and laid down on his bare mattress.

(The sheets and pillows were gone. They’d smelled like Lance and Shiro.)

He stared at the ceiling. He imagined that their arms were around him.

It only made the aching worse.

His communicator beeped.

He stared at the blinking notification, an incoming video call from Lance.

Lance, who was sunshine and sweetness. Lance, who was so strong and so soft, all at once.

_You know how to save my life. You’ve had plenty of practice._

He picked up the call.

“Hey, Red!”

The startling brightness in his voice and expression jolted Keith upright.

“Blue.” He waved his hand through the holographic image. _Why can’t I touch you?_

“Listen,” Lance said. “I need a favor.”

Keith stared, forcing his gaze away from Lance’s eyes to take in the rest of the frame. It was getting late, but Lance wasn’t in his quarters, and he was fully dressed-

“Why are you wearing your armor?”

“It’s a surprise. Suit up and come down to the hangar.”

Keith felt his jaw clench, grinding his back teeth together.

“Lance, you know I can’t-”

“Keith.” His tone was firm. “Do you trust me?”

“That’s _not_ the point-”

“Keith!”

“Yes! You know I do!”

“Okay! So act like it! Set your helmet to recycle your oxygen. We’re not going to come near you.”

“ _We_?”

“Yeah. You know your other boyfriend? The one who looks like he’s carved out of solid rock? He’s going to get super cranky if you’re not down here in five minutes.”

Shiro leaned into the frame.

“ _Super cranky,_ Rogan.”

Keith _laughed,_ for the first time all day. It loosened the tension in his chest and his stomach. It eased the pounding ache in his mind and his heart. He was on his feet before he knew what he was doing.

“Okay,” he said. “I’m coming.”

Lance beamed. “Excellent.” His gaze drifted. “Are you all wet?”

“Uh… yeah. I took a shower.”

Lance nodded.

“You look hot as hell, babe.”

The call disconnected.

Keith smiled to himself.

_This is why I need you._


	17. Coming Back to Each Other

Lance felt his whole body relax as soon as he saw Keith step out of the elevator and into the hangar. Shiro shook his head and nudged at his arm, his smile broad and genuine.

“I should’ve known he’d come, for you.”

“He came for both of us, Ashi.”

“You’re incredible, you know that?”

Lance flashed him a grin and activated a voice channel between the three of them. They’d left Keith a speeder and plenty of space, so he wouldn’t have to worry about catching their scent. It was an unnecessary precaution, given the closed ecosystem of his armor and helmet, but Lance guessed that Keith would want to maintain the physical distance between them, anyway, so he and Shiro were practically on the opposite end of the hangar, waiting next to their own set of speeders.

“Took you long enough, Red!”

“Blah blah, patience yields whatever,” Keith said, and Lance’s smile widened. He sounded better already.

“I left a backpack by your speeder. Don’t open it yet, okay? Just bring it with you.”

“Are we going somewhere?”

“Yup. Sending you the route now. We should bring Kosmo, too-”

Kosmo appeared in front of Lance, sitting up on his hind legs. He yipped once, then pranced around for a moment, nuzzling Lance’s hand before he started teleporting wildly between the three of them like a massive, fluffy pinball.

“Huh,” Lance mused. “I didn’t know I could call him, like that.”

Kosmo materialized across the hangar and reared up to paw dramatically at Keith.

“He loves you,” Keith laughed over the comm, and the sound of it set a spark in Lance’s chest.

“We should get moving!” he said, not bothering to conceal the excitement in his voice. “It’ll take about an hour for us to get where we’re going.”

Keith was pulling the straps of the backpack onto his shoulders. “Which is _where,_ exactly?”

“It’s a surprise! Just enjoy the ride!”

 

* * *

 

They sped away from the city, heading toward the massive, twin moons that hung low and bright over the distant horizon. Keith and Shiro could view the route on their maps, but Lance took the lead in their loose formation, since he’d studied it ahead of time and knew what to watch for.

That wasn’t the only reason, though. He was trying to make sure he didn’t come between the two of them, physically as well as metaphorically. As much as Shiro had tried to set it aside, Lance knew he’d been suffering immensely when he’d come to his quarters earlier that afternoon. He knew he was suffering, still. Keith had forced Shiro out of his mind, and Shiro was hovering in the background, now, uncharacteristically quiet, unsure how to cope with this new kind of distance between them. Silence fell over the comm as they settled into a straightaway along the open landscape, and Lance chewed on his lower lip, trying to figure out how to fill in the gaps between the three of them.

“Sound off, Red,” he prompted. “Okay back there?”

“Okay back here.”

“Does it help to be in motion?”

“Yeah. It does. And, uh… it helps when you’re talking.”

Right. That made sense. Lance had seen the transformation in Keith’s face when they’d chatted over video, earlier. Keeping away from each other had been a mistake.

“So… what’s the first thing you want to do when we get back to Earth?” he asked, not bothering to specify who he was talking to, hoping Keith and Shiro would pick up the thread between the two of them. “For fun, I mean. When you get the chance.”

“I want to take you both hiking,” Shiro said. “Somewhere cool and quiet.”

“Emerald Lake?” Keith asked. “You always used to talk about it.”

“Yeah. Perfect. I always planned on taking you there, eventually.”

“That’s in Colorado, right?” Lance asked.

“It is, yeah.” Shiro sounded surprised. “Have you been there?”

“Not quite. I think I was right next to it a couple years ago, though.”

“Really? You went to the Rocky Mountains?”

“Uh huh. My whole family came to pick me up from the Garrison before summer break, and we traveled for a while before we went back to Cuba. Went to a couple cities, saw a few landmarks. The Rockies were amazing.” He smiled at the memory. “We hiked this smaller trail, so my niece and nephew could keep up, you know? They were still pretty little, then. My brother and I were trying to see which one of us could carry my nephew on our back for the longest, but my niece wouldn’t play along. She wouldn’t let anyone carry her, said she had to get to the top all by herself. She… she did let me carry her down, though. She fell asleep while I…”

He cleared his throat, pushing the memory away, just enough to ease the ache. He was grateful when Keith broke the silence.

“Your niece and nephew… you used to spend a lot of time with them, right?”

Lance turned the question over in his mind. Had Keith ever initiated a conversation about his family, or his life outside of the Garrison? He’d never seemed interested, before…

 _But then we fell in love,_ Lance mused. Things were different, now.

Keith was different.

“Yeah,” Lance told him. “Ever since they were babies. I held them both right after they were born. I helped them learn how to swim and ride bikes. We watched movies and played games every weekend, until I moved to the Garrison. And I still saw them on video all the time, even after that.”

“So… you get along with kids? I mean, in general? I mean, you… like them?”

There was an eagerness in Keith’s tone that was entirely unfamiliar. Lance wasn’t sure he’d ever heard him stumble over his words, like this. He wished they were talking face-to-face, hand-in-hand.

“I love kids.”

“Okay. That’s… that’s good.”

“Keith is great with kids, too,” Shiro cut in.

“Uh. That’s a bit of a stretch, Shiro-”

“No. It’s not.”

“Fill me in?” Lance prompted, intrigued.

“Shiro used to drag me on these _recruitment excursions_ ,” Keith said, and Lance could practically hear his eyes rolling, an echo of his past self, come to visit.

“Hang on,” Shiro said. “You skipped the best part of the story.”

Keith groaned. “Shiro-”

“I went to speak at Keith’s school,” he interrupted. “Scouting for potential pilots, you know?”

“Oh yeah, and you better believe that Takashi Shirogane was a _very big deal_ ,” Keith teased. “The other kids were falling all over themselves all day, when he came. I was convinced he’d turn out to be a huge asshole.”

“Is that why you stole my car? Just to take me down a peg?”

Lance burst out laughing. “He _stole_ your _car_?”

“Yeah. Drove it like a pro, too. I was thoroughly impressed. I managed to convince him to enroll at the Garrison, obviously, and then a couple years after that I convinced him to go back with me.”

“You went recruiting together?”

“Yeah, a few times, to that same school and a couple others. He was fantastic. The kids loved him.”

“I think they were just impressed by the uniforms and the flight footage,” Keith said.

“No. You were great with them. You didn’t talk down to them. They trusted you right away.”

“I’m not surprised,” Lance said. “I can see you being really good with kids, Red.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. You’re just so… _cool._ And when you talk about things, you get all intense. Passionate. Kids love that. They get all excited when they know you care about something.”

“That’s exactly what he was like,” Shiro confirmed. “Magnetic. Brilliant.” He paused, then added, “Perfect.”

Silence, for a moment.

“You guys really think so?”

“Of course, we do,” Lance said. “Why, babe? What’s on your mind?”

“I… I just… nothing.”

Lance didn’t need to visit Keith’s mind to sense his agitation. Now was not the time to push.

“Okay. We could talk about it some other time, if you want.”

“Uh. Yeah. Okay.”

“So… want to tell us what’s on your wish list instead?” Lance ventured. “What do you want to do when we get home?”

Keith’s answer came immediately.

“Find a bed big enough for the three of us and spend all day in it.” There was a brief pause. “Uh. We can… you know… eat pizza. Watch all our favorite movies.”

“A day won’t be long enough,” Shiro said. “Let’s shoot for a week.”

“Or a month,” Lance suggested.

“Won’t we run out of food?” Keith asked.

“Hmm. Sounds like we need some ground rules. We can get out of bed to take showers, and Shiro can answer the door for takeout.”

“Why me?”

“Well, it’s Keith’s fantasy, so he gets to stay in bed. And I figured you’d want to see us waiting for you when you came back.”

“Mm. You’re not wrong about that.”

“We can take turns answering the door,” Keith said. “I want to see you waiting for me, too.”

Lance smiled behind the faceplate of his helmet. They were finally making some progress.

“So… it’s pretty cool how there aren’t really roads outside the city,” he said. “It’s like the desert near the Garrison, right, Keith? Like that first night, when you steered us over that cliff. I never would’ve admitted it back then, but that move blew me away. I thought my stomach was going to fall out of my mouth.”

Keith let out a small laugh.

“Would you still be impressed if you knew I’d taken that dive before?”

“Really?”

“Uh huh. After I watched Shiro do it a couple dozen times.”

“Shiro?!”

“Guilty,” Shiro laughed.

“Seriously? Did the Garrison know you were piloting their speeders off of cliffs?”

“Uh… no. That was… extracurricular.”

“And everyone thought you were such a golden boy!”

“I was!” Shiro insisted, with feigned indignance.

“He wasn’t,” Keith countered. “He used to sneak back through the line in the mess hall to get a second serving of macaroni and cheese.”

“Oh, like that was a capital offense.”

“He used to sneak me into all kinds of places I wasn’t supposed to be,” Keith went on. “I was fifteen the first time he let me rebuild a jet engine on my own. _His_ jet engine. He flew the next day.”

“I tested it, first,” Shiro pointed out. “You knew what you were doing-”

“He let me practice in the simulators when I wasn’t supposed to,” Keith said, talking over him. “He let me keep his keycard, even though I stole it. Even though I lied. Even though he could’ve…” He cleared his throat. “That was such a risk, Shiro.”

“Yeah. And it was worth it.”

“Why? Why was it so worth it to you, back then?”

“You know why.”

“I’m honestly not sure I do. I was rude, and angry, and ungrateful-”

“I know,” Shiro said. “Just like I was. I was _just_ like you, after my parents died.”

Keith was quiet for a moment.

“You were?”

“Oh yeah. Worse, maybe. There was this kid in my class I’d known my whole life… he made a comment about my grandmother dropping my lunch of at school, one time. She would do things like that, at first. She didn’t know it wasn’t _cool_ , that I was too old for…” He paused, briefly. “Anyway. I broke that kid’s nose. Knocked him out cold. They really should’ve thrown me out of school, but I don’t think they had the heart to expel the kid with the dead, hero parents, so…”

Lance chewed the corner of his lip. _Come on, Keith._

“I never knew any of that,” Keith said.

“It was like looking in a mirror, at first,” Shiro told him. “I’d never known anyone else who understood what it was like to have that specific kind of… _anger_. You wore it on your sleeve and I just… I loved that, about you. You made me feel better about where I’d come from. You made me feel like it was okay that I was still carrying some of that anger around. And, God, you were brilliant, and I felt like… if I could just pull you back from the edge, just a little, you’d be totally unstoppable. I wanted you to know that you could move forward, that you could have a life, a really good one, and… I felt like I needed to be part of it.”

“Like I would’ve given you a choice,” Keith said, his voice sounding a little muffled. “I know I was an asshole, but I… I would’ve done anything for you. I would’ve done anything to stay close to you. I didn’t think…” He paused, sniffed, cleared his throat. “I didn’t think I’d ever love anyone again, until you found me.”

Silence for a beat.

“Yeah, well.” Shiro’s voice was low. “You know I get a kick out of proving you wrong.”

The two of them laughed a little bit, and Lance grinned to himself.

The gaps were closing. They were coming back to each other. He could feel it.

 

* * *

 

 

Their conversation lapsed as the terrain grew more challenging, but the stretches of silence were comfortable, now. Miles of flat, open grassland had given way to rocky hills and winding streams, and Lance set a much slower pace while they navigated the barest hint of a pathway. Despite the glowing moonlight and the headlights on their speeders, the visibility wasn’t great, and Lance fully intended to get the three of them to their destination in one piece.

Eventually, he could detect a gentle, downward slope to the terrain, and he steered them along one of the larger streams until it flowed directly into the cresting rapids of a rushing river. It wasn’t particularly wide, but it was moving fast, carving a path through the landscape and into the distance. Kosmo had been teleporting in and out of view intermittently – just enough to track their location, Lance guessed – but he was racing them along the opposite bank of the river, now, leaping over rocks and tall grass until he fell too far behind, and then skipping ahead to start the cycle over again, leaving a trail of shimmering, scattering light in his wake.

“We’re almost there,” Lance said, feeling wide awake and jittery with excitement, despite the late hour. “I’m going to slow us down a little more.”

“Why so cautious?” Keith asked.

“You’ll see.”

They stuck close to the riverbank, taking the twists and turns at a leisurely pace until the flow of the river straightened out.

“What is that?” Shiro asked. “Up ahead? It looks-”

“Cutting the engines, now,” Lance said. “Switch to hover mode. Don’t get ahead of me, okay?”

They slowed and skidded almost to a halt, then hovered forward in a V formation while Lance compared the detailed map on his display to the landscape in front of them. If it had been daylight, the view would’ve been spectacular, even from here, but given the poor visibility, Keith and Shiro couldn’t tell what they were looking at, yet. This was good. He’d wanted to bring them right up to the edge.

“Okay, stop here, for a second,” he told them. Keith and Shiro drew up on either side of him, and they hovered together in the moonlight. “We’re going to walk the rest of the way. Keith, if you want some space, Shiro and I can head to the other side of the river.”

Keith nodded. “I think that’s better, for now.”

“Sure. Don’t get ahead of us, okay? It’s not safe.”

“Okay. I’ll wait here.”

Lance and Shiro hovered across the rapids and disengaged their speeders. They were both wearing backpacks, and Lance grabbed an extra duffle bag from his speeder, too, before moving to Shiro’s side.

“Okay, Keith. We can start walking, now. Try to stay in line with us.”

“The horizon,” Keith said. “It’s like… I don’t know. I can’t tell what I’m looking at.”

Lance smiled to himself. “Let me know when you figure it out.”

Kosmo teleported to Keith’s side, and the group of them walked ahead in silence for the next five minutes. Lance had been hoping Keith would agree to stay together on the same side of the river, but he refused to let himself get too discouraged. Keith was here, almost within reach. There was no rush. They had all night.

“Did the river just get… louder?” Keith asked. “You guys hear that, right?”

“Oh!” Shiro said, taking hold of Lance’s arm. “Holy shit! Keith, be careful over there, okay?”

“Why?”

“It’s a cliff!”

“What?”

“It’s a drop-off, see? The river is just… gone.”

“Oh! I see it!”

They were right at the edge before long, looking over a stone wall at the edge of the cliff. The river tumbled downward, cascading into a wide, oval-shaped pool. They could see the boundaries of it blurring into the forest of a vast, moonlit valley.

“I thought you might want to see something beautiful,” Lance said, watching Keith lean eagerly over the wall on the opposite side of the river.

“It is. It’s amazing. Thank you, Blue.”

“How’d you find out about this place?” Shiro asked, his fingertips drifting absently to Lance’s waist as he stared over the wall at the cascading water.

“I read about it in the Olkari database. Ryner said we could come and go as we please, so… I thought it would be nice to get out for a while. Want to go check out the view from the bottom?”

Kosmo was happy to oblige, teleporting them down to the grassy shore on either side of the pool. The sound of the waterfall was deafening at the base of the cliff, so they walked along the shallows for a while, until they could speak to each other at a comfortable volume. They finally stopped to admire the view, and Lance watched Keith gaze up at the waterfall, wishing he could slide his arms around him, wanting to experience the beauty of his touch along with the natural beauty all around them. His chest ached, guilt and concern creeping up from the pit of his stomach. Being this far from Keith was painful, and what Keith was going through had to be a hundred times worse.

“You should look in your backpack,” he said, wanting to comfort him in any way he could.

He slid his own backpack off of his shoulders and pulled out two cylindrical containers. He waited until Keith had his own in hand, and then he gave one to Shiro and watched them both unscrew the covers – Shiro, right by his side, and Keith, in the distance, on the opposite side of the pool.

“I know it’s the wrong color,” he told them, “but taste it, okay? There’s a spoon in there, too, Keith.”

“You think it’s safe to take down our faceplates?”

“Yeah. We’re way too far away. You’re safe.”

He handed Shiro a spoon and watched a grin spread across his face as he took a bite.

“Oh my God, it’s-”

“ _Fuck_ , Blue!” Keith practically yelled over the comm. “Are you _kidding_ me? Where did you find chocolate ice cream?!”

Lance giggled. “I made it.”

Shiro groaned with pleasure, savoring another bite. “You _made_ this?”

“Uh huh. Hunk helped, but it was my idea, so I’m taking the credit.”

He pulled a blanket out of his backpack and spread it on the ground, and he and Shiro sat down side-by-side, canisters and spoons in hand.

“Lance?” Keith’s voice sounded thick. “You’re so _fucking_ amazing. Thank you.”

“You have a blanket in your backpack, too,” he said. “You should sit. I have to tell you some stuff.”

Keith did as he was told, spreading his blanket onto the grass and sitting down in a cross-legged position. Lance took a few bites of his ice cream, waiting until Keith was settled, and then he set the canister and spoon aside.

“Keith… I’m so sorry about what’s happening to you, and I’m sorry about the way I reacted, earlier. It was really selfish. I love that you and Shiro are so close. I want that, for both of you. I just get nervous about being left behind, sometimes.”

“I’ll never leave you behind. Not ever.”

The blunt certainty of the comment left Lance reeling, a bit. Was this part of what Keith had been fighting so hard to control? His word as his bond, right along with his body?

“I believe you.” Lance looked at Shiro. “I’ll try harder not to take it out on both of you when I get nervous, okay?”

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Keith said. Shiro nodded his agreement, touching his gloved fingertips briefly to Lance’s shoulder.

“Well, let me do it, anyway. It’s my fault our conversation got cut short-”

“No,” Keith said, firmly. “It’s mine. I’m a mess.”

“You’re not. I can’t even imagine what you’re going through, so… I was hoping you’d tell us a little more about it.”

“We love you, Keith,” Shiro added. “Let us be here for you.”

Lance saw Keith take another bite from his container before he replaced the cover and set it aside.

“My thoughts are… disorganized.”

“We know,” Lance said, soothingly. “It’s okay. We just want to listen.”

“Okay.”

Keith was quiet for almost a full minute before he started to speak.

“I guess it’s common for the Galra to bond in groups,” he said. “It’s some kind of pack-related instinct. They’re fluid in their preferences, too, because of that. Same-sex bonding is standard, because everyone in the group bonds with everyone else, so… maybe that’s part of the reason why I am the way I am. I mean, I’m not straight, obviously, and it didn’t feel strange to me at all, to think about being with both of you. It just feels… normal _._ Like it’s what we’re supposed to do.”

“It is what we’re supposed to do,” Lance said, hoping Keith would feel the full weight of his intention.

“You really believe that?”

“Yes.”

“I do, too,” Shiro said. “I can’t imagine things being any other way.”

“But… that’s probably because we’ve all been piloting together,” Keith pointed out. “I doubt you would’ve wanted this, otherwise.”

“Does that matter?” Lance asked. “It’s not like piloting together clouded our judgment, or something. It’s the opposite. No one will ever understand me like you and Shiro do. I wouldn’t go back to the way I was before, even if I could. You know that.”

Lance could see Keith nodding, even from this distance, his helmet gleaming in the moonlight as he moved.

“I do know. I’m sorry. I’m just… I’m scared, okay? I’m _changing_. I can feel it. The Galra, they… they go through all these changes when they start having sex. Not just all the emotional _bullshit._ My _saliva_ is different, sometimes. I don’t even recognize the inside of my own mouth. And my skin and my hair… they could change. I might… I might _look_ different-”

“Keith.” He was spiraling. Shiro’s tone was low and even. “It’s okay to be worried, but it’s going to be all right.”

“But I don’t _want_ to change! I was just starting to _like_ who I was…”

“Your skin has nothing to do with who you are, Red.”

“Yes, it does, because… because I _know_ how you feel about my body, right now, and if it changes-”

“Hang on,” Shiro said, in the same infinitely soothing tone. “You think we’ll feel differently about you if your body looks different?”

He didn’t answer.

“That’s not true, Keith,” Lance told him. “You know us better than that. I’d never even really fooled around with a guy, before we… and it didn’t even matter, because it’s _you_. And I want us to be together for… for a long time, and I know that means we’re going to change, and… that’s what I want. That’s what I signed up for.”

“Keith.” Shiro raised his prosthetic arm into the air and flexed his fingers. “I still get startled by my reflection, sometimes. That was true, even when the rest of my body was my own, and now…” He gestured to his hair. “If we’re only worth as much as the bodies we live in, I’d be _nothing._ I’d be _no one._ But you’d never let me believe that, would you?”

“God, no, Shiro-”

“I know. You always know how to bring me back to myself. I’ll do that for you, too. As many times as it takes.”

Keith sniffed. “I want us to be together for a long time, too.”

Lance caught Shiro’s eye, and Shiro gave him a small nod.

“Red?”

“Mm?”

“I have a couple questions about the Galra bond.”

He braced himself. Was it too soon? Was he pushing Keith too far?

“Okay.”

He let go of his breath.

“Um… how permanent is it?”

“Uh… it isn’t, really, but breaking it is… painful. Like what’s happening to me now, except worse. Emotionally and physically traumatizing. Life-threatening, in some cases, like serious withdrawal. Different species are affected differently.”

“And… for humans?”

“I don’t know what it was like for my dad, when his bond with my mom was breaking. I was still a baby.”

“But he survived,” Lance said. “He got through it.”

“Yeah, he did, but… I mean, he was a great dad, and everything, and he took really good care of me, but I’m not sure if he was actually _happy_ , you know? He worked a lot, more than he needed to. He never had friends back to the house, unless his buddies from the station showed up at our door without being invited. As far as I know, he never dated anyone, again… never showed any interest... and he had trouble sleeping. I’d find him in the living room at all hours, reading books, or just _staring_. Sometimes I’d watch to see how often he turned the page, and… anyway. I know he was sad. He was probably sad every single day, after she left.”

“That sounds like a very human reaction to losing a partner,” Shiro said.

“Maybe.”

Silence hung between them for a moment. Shiro was the one who broke it.

“I’ve spent a lot of time around the Galra,” he ventured. “As ruthless as they can be, I wouldn’t really describe them as emotionally unstable. How do they deal with all these side effects? Do they not have casual sex?”

“They do. Their contraceptives block the hormones, so the bonding process won’t initiate. They have medications to take the edge off if they end up in a partial bond or a broken partnership. Obviously, I don’t have access to any of that, so… here we are.”

“And you said same-sex partnerships are common,” Lance said. “Can Galra men carry children? I mean, can you…?”

“Oh. Uh. No. Not without surgical intervention. Same sex partners can _have_ biological children, though. The technology is similar to what we have on Earth. They manipulate stem cells from one of the partners to get the genetic material they need. They use surrogates, or an artificial womb. They’ve been doing it for generations.”

Lance went through his mental checklist, taking in this new information. None of it swayed him. He killed his voice channel and gestured for Shiro to do the same.

“Are you still sure?”

Shiro nodded, his eyes reflecting silver in the moonlight.

“I’m sure.”

Lance switched the channel back on.

“Keith… come over here and talk to us?”

“You know I can’t-”

“Yes. You can. I need to see you.”

He heard Keith sigh over the comm.

“Shiro… come back to me for a minute.”

Shiro closed his eyes. He was still for a few seconds, and then his shoulders relaxed. A smile spread slowly across his face.

 _They’re together again,_ Lance thought. _Good._

Shiro opened his eyes. He unfastened his helmet and removed it. He stripped off his gloves and then pulled Lance’s off, too. Then he unfastened Lance’s helmet, pulled it carefully over his head, and set it aside. He raised his fingertips to Lance’s cheek, his brow set in a hard line, his mouth quirked up slightly at one corner.

_I know that expression._

“Keith?”

“Hey, Blue.”

It was Shiro’s voice, speaking Keith’s words.

“That’s… wow. Shiro even looks like you, right now.”

Shiro’s right eyebrow went up. Lance giggled.

“Shiro’s here, too. I’m just telling him what I want to say to you.”

Lance nodded. “Okay. What do you want to say?”

Shiro - _Keith_ \- watched him for a moment before pressing their foreheads together, and Lance closed his eyes, imagining that they were both really here, breathing against his mouth, blinking their eyelashes against his face. And when they kissed each other, he felt that it was true, because the soft, slow press against his lower lip felt just like Shiro, but the eager, searching tongue that slipped inside his mouth could’ve easily belonged to Keith. They sighed – all three of them – tasting each other with parted lips, feeling the urgency build between them…

And then Shiro (Keith?) was pulling down on the neckline of Lance’s undershirt, tipping his chin back with the bridge of his nose, pressing his face against his throat-

_“I can’t smell you… fuck, I… I miss you so fucking much, Lance…”_

Their lips were moving under his jaw, toward his ear.

_“Come be with me, then.”_

_“You know I want to. You know I can’t.”_

_“You can. We want this. We want you.”_

They straightened up. They looked in his eyes.

“You can’t say that. You can’t tell me that unless-”

“We talked about it. We agreed. We want to finish the bond. Tonight. Right now.”

“ _Lance._ Do you understand what you’re saying?”

“I do. I’m all in.” He held their face in his hands. “We’re supposed to do this. You’re supposed to be my family. I know it. I’m sure.”

They winced, as if the words were painful to hear.

“I…”

Their expression relaxed. Their gaze drifted and settled somewhere over Lance’s right shoulder.

“Keith?” Shiro was back, speaking to Keith over the comm. Why? Their minds had been connected a second ago…

“Ashi?”

Shiro closed his eyes.

“Who was that?” he asked Keith. “I saw… Was that you? But… your hair… and-”

His eyes flew open.

“Ashi?” Lance repeated. “What’s wrong?”

“I… I saw…”

His head snapped in Keith’s direction. Lance followed his gaze and saw Keith on his feet, standing in the shallows on the other side of the pool.

“Shiro?” Lance took hold of his shoulder and squeezed. “Talk to me-”

Shiro jumped to his feet and bolted toward the water, and Lance stumbled after him, his heartbeat hammering away in his chest. Shiro didn’t stop until he was standing in the shallows, and Lance pulled up next to him, grabbing onto his arm as soon as he was close enough.

“Shiro-”

“Keith.” Shiro was begging, practically sobbing. “You have to tell me who they are.”

Keith didn’t answer. Lance saw him fold in on himself, watched while he hugged his arms to his chest and stared down at the water. He looked like he was trembling.

“Rogan.” Shiro’s voice was softer, now. “Are they ours?”

 

* * *

 

Keith stared at his reflection in the moonlit pool, watching the gentle current from the falls blur and distort his features while Shiro called his name.

It was no use. Shiro had seen their faces, their eyes. And Keith knew, suddenly, that no matter how hard he struggled, the universe would go on forcing the three of them together, just like it had been since that night in the desert – since he and Lance had held Shiro between them and run headlong toward their destiny, toward this moment.

Keith was so very tired of struggling.

He held out his hand. He felt Kosmo’s head bump up against his gloved palm.

“Take me back to them.”

He materialized in front of them. The pain and confusion in their expressions drove through his heart like a knife.

“I saw flashes of the future when I was in the quantum abyss,” he said, almost mechanically, barely in control of what was coming out of his mouth. “Or a _possible_ future. I don’t know. But I… I saw…”

“Children?” Shiro asked, pleading. “Our children?”

“Our _what_?” Lance demanded, staring between them.

Shiro took hold of Lance’s hand. Their eyes fell closed. Keith waited, staring at their exposed skin, shaking from head to toe.

_They’re so close. I could just take my helmet off. I could just… we could just…_

“Keith…” Lance’s eyes were open. Tears were falling onto his cheeks. “She looks just like me.”

“Yeah. She does.”

“Is she real?”

“I don’t know. Do you want her to be?”

Lance let out a shaky sob, nodding slowly. He stumbled forward, slid his arms around Keith’s shoulders, and held on tight.

The hard panels of their armor grated together. Keith wanted them _gone_.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Shiro was close, now, resting a hand on Lance’s back.

“I was going to. I just wanted to give it some time. I didn’t want you to feel like I was trapping you into this, with me.”

Lance straightened up and scowled at him, knocking once on the faceplate of his helmet with his knuckles.

“As if you could trap me into anything! Don’t you know that those kids are all I’ve ever-”

His voice broke. It took every ounce of Keith’s strength to keep from tearing his own helmet off and kissing the tears from his face.

“Lance, I’m sorry, I just-”

“Do you want them to be real?” Lance demanded, wiping at his cheeks and his chin with the back of his hand. “Our kids? Yours and Shiro’s and mine?”

“Yes.”

Lance nodded. He took a step back and took a long, shuddering breath, and when he was finished, he looked infinitely more composed.

“I love you,” he said simply. “I know I’ve only been saying it for a couple of days, but it’s been true for a lot longer than that. You give me hope. You make me feel like all this fighting is actually worth something. You make me feel like _I’m_ worth something, too.” He sank down onto his knees in the shallow water at Keith’s feet. “I trust you with my life,” he said. “I trust you with my future. Will you trust me with yours?”

Keith stared, open-mouthed, squeezing his gloved, damaged, aching hands into fists to try to keep them from shaking.

“I love you,” Shiro echoed, stepping close to him. Keith’s head snapped in his direction, and he wondered vaguely if the heat and light he felt inside himself were visible, like magma pooling just below the surface of the earth.

“I used to dream about the person you’d grow up to be,” Shiro was saying. “I knew you’d be powerful and _good._ I knew you’d be perfect. I thought I could imagine what that meant, but I was so wrong. My imagination didn’t even come close, Keith. You blow me away, every single day, and I don’t want to spend a single second away from you, ever again.” He kneeled down next to Lance, sending a ripple through the shallows. “I trust you with my life,” he said. “I trust you with my future. Will you trust me with yours?”

It took Keith a moment to realize he was sobbing. He clawed at his helmet until the pressure released, and then he pulled it off, dropped to his knees, and fell into their arms.

Their scent washed over him like a wave breaking onto the shore, cooling the fire in his mind. He was home. He was theirs.

He was weightless, wrapping his legs around Shiro’s waist while Shiro carried him to the blanket.

He was on his back with Lance’s fingers in his hair, watching his eyes reflect the moonlight.

“Keith? Can we take your armor off?”

He nodded.

“Say yes, Red.”

He shuddered, an exaggerated tremor than ran from his shoulders to his already-shaking limbs.

“Yes. Please.”

“You’re shaking.” Lance’s helped him prop himself up, then moved his fingers to the back of his neck and started unfastening the top half of his armor. “Do you feel cold?”

“No. I feel hot.”

Lance paused to rest the back of his hand against his cheek in a gesture so gentle, Keith felt tears welling up behind his eyes again. Lance smiled.

“Yeah, you do. You look hot, too.”

“And you look like the sun is shining on your skin, even in the dark.” Lance’s eyes went wide, and Keith clamped a hand over his own mouth, startled by the admission.

 _“Wow,”_ Lance breathed.

Shiro was there, kneeling on his opposite side. He eased Keith’s hand away from his mouth and started pulling off his glove.

“I… I have no filter, right now,” Keith said. “I’ve had these thoughts in my head all day… well, I guess you knew that, already.”

“I could see images,” Lance told him. “When we were connected, I mean. It’s really different to hear you put it into words.” He leaned close and bumped his nose against Keith’s cheek. “Don’t stop, okay?”

Shiro leaned close, too. He moved Keith’s hair away from his eyes and kissed his face, high on his cheekbone. “I’m with Lance,” he murmured. “Don’t stop.”

Keith shuddered again.

“I… I’m sorry I pushed you away, Shiro. I didn’t want to do that. I wanted you to stay with me.”

“I know.”

“Please stay with me.”

“I will, I-”

He kissed Shiro’s mouth. He felt Shiro’s arms sliding around him, pulling him up onto his knees. He felt Shiro’s mind overlapping with his own, familiar and _alive_ and thrumming with the same _want_ and _need_ he’d been struggling so hard against all day.

Why? Why had he bothered putting up such a fight?

He felt Lance’s mouth on the back of his neck, and the answer was suddenly clear. He’d needed them to come to him freely, willingly. He needed them just as they were in this moment: eager and hungry and staggeringly sure.

He licked into Shiro’s mouth and unfastened his armor.

He moved one hand behind himself to tangle in Lance’s hair.

He felt two sets of hands slip under his shirt.

(Shiro pulled on his hips until they were flush with his own. Lance traced a path with his fingertips from his shoulder to his lower back.)

He moaned against Shiro’s lips. He was rigid and straining in the confines of his armor.

 _“Can we take your pants off?”_ Lance breathed, close to his ear.

Keith licked at Shiro’s upper lip and then let his head fall back onto Lance’s shoulder, breathing deeply, tasting citrus and basking in the memory of summer sun.

_“Yes.”_

Lance’s arms were hard and strong around his chest, supporting his weight while Shiro lifted his hips and removed his armor and underclothes in one fluid motion.

Shiro left Keith’s legs splayed apart, helping him stay upright against Lance’s chest. He eyed the nakedness of Keith’s lower half while he pulled off his own armor, his fingers moving deftly, urgently. Keith stared as Shiro pulled up on the hem of his own shirt, feeling saliva pooling under his tongue, his eyes traveling up the planes of Shiro’s stomach to his well-defined chest. He watched Shiro’s waistline as he pulled off the lower half of his armor and the long pants underneath, and he felt a pang when Shiro left his shorts in place. He did his best to dismiss the selfish notion.

_Take your time. I can wait. I’ll wait forever._

Shiro sat up on his knees and leaned over the two of them, touching their chests, then their faces. He kissed Lance’s mouth – slow sweetness, fingertips on his cheek – and then he leaned so close to Keith that his lips brushed against his face as he spoke.

_“Can I make you come with my mouth?”_

Keith shuddered, moaning aloud, feeling precum pooling at the tip of his cock where it was resting against his thigh.

_“Yes. I… fuck. I think you could make me come, just from talking like that.”_

Shiro smiled, almost teasingly.

_“You know I like a challenge.”_

He slid the hem of Keith’s shirt up around his chest while they watched each other’s eyes. Lance adjusted his hold to give him better access, kissing and nuzzling at Keith’s hair, and Shiro ghosted a thumb over one of his nipples.

 _“Oh-_ ”

Keith’s eyelids fluttered; the sensation shot straight to his groin.

 _“Sensitive…”_ Shiro mused. _“Usually?”_

Keith shook his head. _“I don’t think so. Not like this.”_

Shiro ducked his head, holding Keith’s gaze, and slid the tip of his tongue around the edge of his nipple.

_“Hhah-”_

Keith let out a rush of breath, arching against Lance’s chest, his cock pulsing wetly against his thigh.

Shiro raised his eyebrows.

“Too much?”

“No. Fuck, that feels good, it’s just…”

Shiro glanced down at his throbbing erection, at the drip of precum that was sliding down his inner thigh. His expression softened.

“I’m sorry. You waited so long. I’ll tease you some other time.”

Keith breathed a small sigh of relief. He was in very real danger of ejaculating all over his leg instead of inside Shiro’s mouth, and the idea of that was inexplicably grating.

_You’re mine. I’m supposed to make you mine._

Shiro straightened up and kissed him with mounting urgency, his tongue warm and wet against Keith’s upper lip. He smoothed a hand through his hair. He looked in his eyes.

“I love you, Rogan.”

“Love you, Shiro.”

Keith watched – _hungrily_ – while Shiro kissed Lance and whispered in his ear, just loud enough for both of them to hear: _“Love you, baby.”_

_“Love you, Ashi.”_

The words set heat and tension pooling in Keith’s belly while Shiro’s lips traveled down the center of his chest. He tipped his chin back and mouthed at Lance’s jaw.

_“Love you, Blue.”_

Lance sighed; Keith felt the rise and fall of his chest against his back.

_“I love you, Keith. So much.”_

Keith moved his hands over Lance’s arms, which were still snug around his chest. The top half of his armor was gone, but he was still wearing his black undershirt.

_“Take your clothes off? Please?”_

_“Mm. I love it when you ask me so sweet.”_

Lance’s arms were gone – a necessary, temporary, evil – but Shiro softened the blow by shifting onto his stomach between Keith’s legs, resting his forearms on his thighs, and wrapping his fingers around the base of his cock.

“I’m rusty,” Shiro said, blinking up at him. “But I’ve imagined doing this for you so many times, I think I can pull it off.”

Keith wound his fingers into Shiro’s hair, trying not to catch the silver strands on the bandages around his knuckles.

“You’re so fucking perfect, it hurts,” he said. “I was ready to come just from kissing you and listening to you talk. You have nothing to worry about.”

He watched Shiro take a calming breath. He could feel his nervousness.

He could feel his desire.

Lance’s bare arms slid around him from behind, again. Lance’s torso and hips were flush against his back, his long legs pressing close on either side of his own, anchoring him in place. Lance’s lips were on his neck.

 _“Mm… Blue…”_ Keith kept one hand in Shiro’s hair, using the other to caress the outside of Lance’s thigh, from his hip to his knee and back again. _“Your skin is so smooth. You feel so- ahh-”_

Shiro’s tongue was circling the head of his cock. He was stroking slowly at Keith’s foreskin as he went, letting his lips brush against the sensitive tip while Keith tensed and sighed in Lance’s hold. He finished a full rotation by lapping gently at the frenulum under the head, and Keith shuddered at the new sensation as it crawled deliciously up his spine.

Shiro smiled at the reaction and focused on the spot again, alternating between gentle licks and hot, breathy kisses, each one pulling a broken syllable from Keith’s throat.

“Is it okay if I go slow?” Shiro kissed the tip again, letting it slide, slick against his lips. “I want to get to know you.”

“Uh- uh huh. Yes. Whatever you want, Shir- _oh, God-_ ”

Shiro was holding him loosely inside his mouth, bobbing slowly so that the tip was sliding along the flat of his tongue. Keith resisted the urge to buck his hips and settled for gripping Lance’s thigh instead, and Lance hummed, close to his ear.

_“Red? Can I try something?”_

_“Anything,”_ Keith breathed.

Lance mouthed at the rim of his ear and slid his hand upward from his chest, caressing his throat, bringing his thumb to rest on Keith’s lower lip. Keith kissed it, and then Lance pressed it between his lips. He rubbed slow, suggestive circles against Keith’s tongue, and Keith started to suck while Lance pressed against him from behind, his cock hot and rigid against Keith’s lower back.

 _“Swirl your tongue,”_ Lance told him. _“Please.”_

Keith was happy to comply. Lance pulled the digit out of his mouth, moved his hand down to his chest, and _slid_ the slick pad of his thumb over the hard bead of Keith’s nipple.

 _“Ah-!_ ”

_“Good?”_

_“Yes-_ ”

He did it again, and Keith squeezed his eyes shut, enjoying the pleasurable shock of Lance’s touch, the night air cooling his saliva until the whole area reached an entirely new level of sensitivity. Lance stroked his nipple one more time, then pressed down on the side of it and rubbed slow, continuous circles that matched perfectly with the pace of Shiro’s tongue along the head and shaft of his cock. Keith exhaled a low moan, and when he drew his breath back in, he noticed a new sort of tension coiling like a spring, somewhere near his tailbone.

“Mh- Shiro?”

Shiro slowed to an agonizing crawl, blinking up at him, lips encircling him midway down his length.

“Mm?”

“I- I think I can control the trigger.”

Shiro slid off of him with a gentle _pop_. He went on stroking with his hand.

“Really?”

“Uh huh. So if you want to tell me when you’re ready…”

Keith was trying to temper his excitement – he was trying not to push – but the urge to bind Shiro to himself was intensely visceral, growing stronger every second.

Shiro nuzzled and kissed at the crease of his thigh.

“I’m ready.”

“You’re sure?”

“I’m sure.”

Keith smoothed his thumb over Shiro’s forehead, holding his fringe back from his eyes.

“Okay. What you were doing was perfect.” He nosed at Lance’s cheek. “You too, Blue.”

He watched Shiro pull him deep – even deeper than before – and he focused on that spot of tension while Shiro’s lips and tongue massaged and caressed his most sensitive places. He felt the ache start to build-

“Shiro, I- I loved you for so long… I wanted you so much… I’ll take care of you, okay? I promise-”

His cock made contact with the back of Shiro’s throat-

_Now-_

The tension bloomed like a muted orgasm, except it didn’t break; it only added to the heavy, mounting ache below his belly while precum spilled into Shiro’s mouth-

“Mmh-”

Shiro was humming… with pleasure? He pulled off and swallowed, still stroking.

“You taste so sweet, love.”

_It’s done… it’s done… you’re mine…_

_I am._

Shiro swallowed Keith to the hilt. Keith arched against Lance’s chest, his toes curling, his skin on fire, feeling Shiro’s throat squeeze around his head-

 _“Mh- F-fuck-_ ”

Shiro tapped his thigh and nodded up at him, then bobbed, swallowed, _squeezed_ until Keith was losing himself in the heat and the pressure-

 _“Jesus, Red, you’re so sexy…”_ Lance was kissing his way up and down his shoulder, teasing with his teeth and tongue. _“I want to feel you come… I want to MAKE you come-_ ”

Keith came, hard and fast against the back of Shiro’s throat. Lance anchored him in a crushing hold as he arched and shook-

 _“Mhah- AH-_ ”

Shiro swallowed thickly and licked long, lazy strokes up his shaft, over his head-

 _“Ahh- hhah-_ ”

Keith’s whole body pulsed with aftershocks that gradually faded, and then he coasted into a mounting euphoria that held and encircled him as firmly as Lance’s body – and Shiro’s, too, once he’d shifted to his knees and slid his arms around them, pressing slow kisses into their hair.

“Rogan?”

Keith slid his arms and legs around Shiro’s back and waist, pulling him closer, breathing in the smell of sun-baked earth.

_Mine._

“Mm?”

“You’re still hard, huh?”

“Yeah.” He sighed, stretching a little, and his whole body sang. “We’re not finished, yet.”

Lance shuddered against his shoulders, throbbed against his lower back. Keith nosed at his neck and his chin, then licked gently along the line of his jaw.

_“Blue? Sweetheart?”_

Lance moaned in response, melting against him.

Keith kissed, licked, _tasted_ his skin.

_“Can I feel you from the inside?”_


	18. Nothing Hurts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I just need to take a minute to thank those of you who continue to leave me notes on this story... I hadn't intended to add this much detail/content to it and your feedback is the main reason I've enjoyed writing it, so thank you SO MUCH for the kind words and support.
> 
> If you're still consistently reading this story and enjoying it, and you've never dropped me a line... please consider doing so. I thrive on that feedback, it really pushes me to keep on writing and improving, so I'd really appreciate hearing from you, even briefly!
> 
> Thanks so much for sticking with me through this story!

Lance’s hands were shaking.

That was okay, though. Keith wouldn’t know. His eyes were closed, because they were kissing each other. Lance was on his back with Keith and Shiro pressed close on either side of him, and Keith was holding his face with one hand while they tasted each other’s breath. Keith’s tongue was hot and slick, licking at the corner of his mouth, sliding over his bottom lip, meeting his own in a slow drag of sensitivity. Keith was taking his time, and that was good.

_So, so good._

Lance could see what Keith meant about his saliva. The consistency _was_ different, but there was nothing unpleasant about it. Quite the opposite; it felt smooth against Lance’s lips and tongue, and the taste was vaguely sweet. Keith was learning to make use of it, too, testing out slow, deliberate strokes, pausing to kiss Lance’s face, to gauge his reaction. He licked his way across Lance’s upper lip with the very tip of his tongue, and Lance ground his hips down against the blanket, succumbing to a full-body shudder.

_Shit._

His legs were shaking, now, too.

“Baby? Are you okay?”

Keith paused at the sound of Shiro’s voice. He sat up a little bit and examined Lance’s face before running his eyes down the length of his body. He pressed closer – his leg was already partially on top of Lance, his knee resting close to his belly button – and he put a tentative hand on Lance’s trembling thigh.

“Blue? Do you want to stop?”

“No. I _really_ don’t. This is just… it’s a really big deal, for me.”

Keith nodded. “I know. It is for me, too.”

Shiro bent down and pressed a slow kiss against his forehead. “It is for me, too, Lance.”

“I know. I’m just… nervous. Excited. I can’t help it.”

Shiro flashed him a smile. “Hang on. I’ll be right back.”

He stood up, stretching a bit, then moved a few feet away to the duffel bag he and Lance had packed together. He bent down and started rummaging through it, wearing nothing except his thin, close-fitting shorts (which, of course, were one article of clothing more than Keith and Lance were wearing). The two of them watched him for a moment, then dissolved into giggles when they caught each other staring.

 _“His ass, though,”_ Lance whispered.

 _“Oh my God, I know,”_ Keith laughed.

Shiro glanced back at them.

“What are you two giggling about?”

“Nothing,” Keith fibbed. “Looking good, Shiro.”

He raised his eyebrows. “You’re checking me out?”

“Pretty much all the time, yeah,” Lance said. “Your ass is spectacular, Ashi.”

Shiro laughed. He dug through the bag for another minute, then came back to them with an armful of pillows and blankets and a glass container of translucent liquid. He slid one of the pillows under Lance’s head and then stretched out next to him again, pulling a blanket up to their shoulders and then over all three of their heads.

“Blanket cave,” he said, propping himself up on his elbow, smiling down at Lance. “Safest place in the universe.”

Lance giggled. “Thanks, Ashi.”

Shiro moved Lance’s arm over his head and bent down to press his lips to the inside of his bicep. He kissed him slowly, moving his mouth inward toward his underarm. Lance closed his eyes for a moment, enjoying the sensation; Shiro’s touch was warm and soothing, his breathing slow and even against his skin.

Shiro paused and looked at Keith, who was stroking gently at Lance’s hair.

“Will he smell different to me, too?”

“I don’t know. It might not actually smell like anything specific, but you’ll be attracted to the hormones in his sweat. Being close to him could make you feel protective… aroused… euphoric. Comforted.”

Shiro looked at Lance again. “All of that’s already true.”

Lance’s stomach swooped. He raised a shaky hand to Shiro’s face and brushed his knuckles against his cheek.

Shiro smiled and went back to what he’d been doing: kissing his way around Lance’s underarm, along the edge of his chest, down to his ribcage-

 _“Oh-_ ”

Lance squirmed involuntarily as Shiro’s lips brushed over his ribs.

“Uh oh.” Shiro had one eyebrow raised. “Did I find a spot?”

“No,” Lance lied.

“No?” Shiro nosed at his ribs. Lance squirmed again. “You’re not ticklish right here?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking abou- HAH- SHIRO- AHH-”

Shiro was dragging his teeth lightly over his ribs, holding his wrist in place while he writhed and squirmed and laughed.

“God, you’re pretty when you laugh like that,” he said, right before he put his whole mouth over the spot and sucked. Lance went on giggling, squirming a little less, now, because the firmer, hotter, _wetter_ sensation had triggered a mounting ache below his navel. Keith seemed to notice the shift, because he moved his hand to the center of Lance’s chest and stroked his skin with his fingertips, then bent down and brushed his lips against his neck.

 _“Can I keep on kissing you?”_ His voice was a low murmur.

_“Yeah.”_

_“Everywhere?”_

Lance felt himself start to throb.

_“Yes.”_

_“Tell me if you need me to stop.”_

_“I will.”_

Keith kissed his mouth, licking against his tongue at the same time that Shiro licked against his ribs, and the combined effect had Lance rolling his hips in earnest, seeking friction, pulsing with anticipation. Keith noticed this, as well – he still had his knee slung over Lance’s belly – and he rolled his hips a little bit, too, grinding himself against Lance’s body, holding his gaze. Lance bit his lower lip and nodded at him, pulling the blanket down from their heads to get a better view. Keith shifted his position, planting one of his knees between Lance’s thighs, arching over Lance’s body to press his mouth onto his chest, over his right nipple.

_“Oh-”_

Keith was watching him, waiting for confirmation, so he nodded again, and Keith moved his tongue in a slow, lazy circle. Lance exhaled and reached around the back of Keith’s head, gathering up a handful of his hair.

_“Mmh- okay- that feels really good…”_

Keith continued in a similar fashion, and Shiro watched him for a moment before he joined in, mimicking Keith’s position and moving his tongue slowly over Lance’s other nipple. Lance arched against the blanket, moaning aloud, realizing just how badly he’d wanted to be on the receiving end of their combined attention. He moved his hands through their hair, trailed his fingertips down the backs of their necks in a synchronized motion, stroked along their shoulders while they lapped at his sensitive skin.

Keith was the one who disturbed the symmetry, but Lance’s disappointment was fleeting; he felt Keith’s mouth moving down the flat of his stomach, along the crease of his hip, and, finally, onto his inner thigh. He couldn’t see what Keith was doing – he’d disappeared under the blanket – but he felt Keith’s face pressing against his inner thigh just before he felt the dull ache of his teeth sinking into his skin.

_“Ahh-”_

Shiro was sucking on his nipple, and Keith was sucking on his thigh, and he was throbbing persistently, his cock swollen and heavy against his lower belly.

And then Keith was bending Lance’s left leg and pressing it upward, and Shiro was looping his arm under his knee, holding it in place, and Keith’s hand was warm and firm against the curve of his ass, his mouth exploring, his tongue licking a tentative sweep over the circle of his entrance-

The sound Lance made was high and broken.

Keith licked him there again, and Lance tried to _press_ against his tongue, using his free leg for leverage, because the hot wetness of Keith’s mouth against his opening had set a fire under his skin. Keith hummed against him, the buzzing of his lips shocking Lance with sensation, and he bucked again, straining to maintain the contact. Keith looped his arm around Lance’s right hip, held him steady, and started rimming with enthusiasm, moving his tongue in half-finished circles, kissing at the sensitive pucker, spreading slick saliva as he dragged his mouth over the spot again and again-

 _“F-fuck…”_ Lance choked out. _“Hhah- holy shit, Red-”_

Shiro was brushing his hair back from his forehead.

_“Feels good, baby?”_

_“Uhh- uh huh- oh, my God-”_

Shiro kissed the side of his face and then starting mouthing at his neck, while Keith’s tongue swirled against him and pressed _into_ his entrance, moving _inside_ -

 _“Oohh fuck- uh huh-_ ”

 _“Lance?”_ Shiro’s mouth was close to his ear. His fingertips were tracing over his belly. _“Keith’s hands are a little beat up, so… I was wondering if you’d let me finger you-_ ”

_“Yes- like- right now- okay?”_

Shiro laughed a low rumble against his neck. _“Okay, baby. Anything you want.”_

He let go of Lance’s leg so he could move the blanket further down, and Lance caught sight of the way Keith’s hair was falling across his skin while he _pulsed_ his tongue against his tight muscle…

He shuddered from head to toe.

“Rogan?”

Keith paused, grinning, wiping at his mouth with the back of his hand. “Time to switch?”

“Yeah. He’s ready.”

He rested his face against Lance’s inner thigh one more time, inhaling deeply, and then he moved up Lance’s body, settling against his side again, propping himself up so they could see each other’s eyes.

“Hey,” he said, still smiling.

“Hhah- _fuck_ , Red,” Lance managed, breathlessly.

Keith laughed. “Yeah?”

“Uh huh.”

He reached down and looped his arm under Lance’s knee, pulling it up toward his chest, like Shiro had done.

“You taste so good, Blue.”

“Show me.”

Keith raised his eyebrows. “Really?”

“Yeah.” Lance was unfazed. Nothing would’ve stopped him from kissing Keith in that moment, and he wasn’t disappointed. He tasted as sweet as ever, and Lance licked eagerly into his mouth while Shiro’s hand moved between his thighs, his fingertips brushing hesitantly over the slick, sensitive skin where Keith’s lips had just been. He felt Shiro rubbing slow circles around his opening, and he sighed against Keith’s mouth when Shiro finally pressed past the tightness of his outer ring, slipping his finger inside.

“Baby?” Shiro’s face was still close. Lance turned his head and found his eyes. “You’ve done this yourself, right?”

“Yeah.”

“How many fingers?”

“Three.”

He nodded. “I’ll try to help you relax. Tell me if anything hurts.”

Lance smiled. “Nothing hurts.”

Shiro kissed him, sweetly, then started pulsing his finger, massaging his inner walls. Lance hummed and let his head fall back against the pillow, reaching up to run his fingers through their hair, again. Keith was pressing slow kisses along his shoulder, and Shiro was watching his eyes, and he wondered vaguely what sort of miracle he must have performed in a past life to earn his place here, between the two most perfect people in the universe.

Shiro bent his finger and _stroked._

 _“Ahh-_ ”

_“Right there?”_

_“Uh huh-_ ”

He rubbed into the spot, and the sensation intensified and spread, traveling all the way to the tip of Lance’s cock, where beads of precum were weeping onto his belly.

 _“Blue?”_ Keith’s eyes were dark, his breathing shallow. _“Do you want me to touch you?”_

Lance shook his head. _“I’ll come, if you do. I want to wait for you.”_

Keith shivered. He _pressed_ his hips against Lance’s side.

_“You trying to turn me on, Lance?”_

_“Uh huh. How am I doing?”_

Keith pressed an open-mouthed kiss under his jaw.

_“Fucking spectacular.”_

Lance let himself melt against the blanket, keeping track of every time Keith’s mouth made contact with his skin. He squirmed when Shiro pulled out - watched as he coated his fingers with thick, sweet-smelling liquid from the container he’d packed - and then he took a long, slow breath, counting to five as Shiro pressed two fingers inside his body.

_Inside._

He was in love with the word. He turned it over in his mind while Shiro touched him somewhere deep.

_Inside._

He exhaled, counting to ten as three of Shiro’s fingers filled him to the brim, thinking that Shiro was massaging away all the pain he’d ever felt.

 _“Ashi…”_ he mumbled. _“Thank you.”_

 _“You’re so beautiful, Lance,”_ Shiro told him. _“So sweet.”_

 _“Perfect,”_ Keith added. _“So perfect, Blue.”_

Lance met Keith’s eye. He reached between them and wrapped his fingers around Keith’s hardness.

_“Red…”_

Keith nodded. _“You’re sure?”_

 _“I’m sure.”_ He looked at Shiro. _“You’ll stay with me?”_

_“I’ll be right here.”_

Shiro’s fingers were gone. Keith was kneeling between his thighs, then pressing Lance’s knees toward his chest, hovering close.

“You’re okay like this?”

Lance nodded. “I want to see you.”

Keith shivered again, and when he reached forward to brush his thumb over Lance’s lips, his hand was shaking. Lance caught his wrist and kissed his fingertips, then the bandages over his knuckles.

“It’s okay, babe. I want this, with you.” He held Keith’s hand against his cheek. “Not just tonight. All of it.”

Keith nodded.

“All of it.”

He kissed Lance’s lips, sat up on his knees, lined himself up. Lance felt warmth, then pressure, then the slow, burning stretch of penetration as Keith’s head slid through his opening.

 _“Mmh-_ ”

He fought to keep the discomfort from showing in his expression. He made a grab for Shiro’s hand and squeezed.

“Blue? You okay?”

“Uh huh. Keep going.”

He forced himself to breathe as the discomfort started to spread. He felt Shiro’s arm slide across his chest, felt Shiro’s forehead pressing against the side of his head. He closed his eyes, concentrating on the aching stretch, willing it to fade, struggling to keep up with the thoughts that were flickering rapid-fire through his mind.

_It’ll get better, it’ll feel so good, it’s my first time and it’s perfect and it’s Keith and Shiro, finally, finally-_

_“You’re doing great, baby. It burns a little bit, huh?”_

He nodded.

_“Breathe with me, okay? It’ll help.”_

He felt Shiro’s chest expand and tried to match the slow pace of his breathing, and he exhaled in a rush when Keith bottomed out, examining the sensation of fullness, of closeness, of something locking into place. He opened his eyes and found Keith close, bending over him, his eyes wide and searching.

_“Blue?”_

Lance slid his arms around his neck.

_“Stay still for a minute, okay?”_

_“It hurts?”_

_“Only a little.”_

Keith was trembling.

 _“I think I can help. I think if I… I think the trigger would make it feel better. I… I feel like I’m supposed to…_ ”

Lance slid his legs around Keith’s waist. _“Go ahead. I want you to.”_

_“I have to move a little bit.”_

_“Okay.”_

Keith kissed him, and it was sweet, and slow, and beautifully distracting. Lance leaned into the pressure of his mouth while Keith rocked his hips in a restrained motion, and Lance felt him, deep inside, prodding a tender pulse against his innermost places. He noticed a hint of pleasure blooming underneath the burning stretch-

 _“Oh-_ ”

…and then warmth spread from that deepest point of contact, a soothing glow that set his eyelids fluttering, his hands grasping at Keith’s hair, his whole body begging for _more_ …

He rolled his hips against Keith.

They exhaled together.

He tried it again, just to be sure, and _yes_ , the burn was fading to a dull, delicious ache-

Keith _whimpered._

 _“Lance-_ ”

 _“Move, Red-_ ”

Keith rocked into him, just once, still hesitating, and the pulsing heat of it spiked upward toward Lance’s navel. He arched off of the blanket, locking his knees against Keith’s sides, and moaned.

_“Good?”_

_“Holy shit don’t stop-_ ”

Keith moved his hips – a handful of hesitant, rolling pulses – and they groaned in unison, open-mouthed and breathless.

 _“Keith-_ ”

 _“Mh-_ ”

 _“It doesn’t hurt, anymore-_ ”

 _“Nh- you feel so fucking good, Lance-_ ”

Keith rolled into him again, and Lance bit down on his lower lip and let his head tilt toward Shiro, who was still stretched out next to him, resting a hand lightly on his belly.

_“Ashi-? Can you feel it, too?”_

Shiro shook his head, smiling.

_“It’s okay. I can wait.”_

_“No. I want it to be all of us.”_ He looked up at Keith. _“Is that okay?”_

Keith grinned. His eyes fell closed, and when he opened them again, his expression was soft.

 _“Baby.”_ He bent down to brush his lips against Lance’s cheek. _“You feel so good inside. Make some pretty sounds for me?”_

He rolled his hips in an entirely new way, and Lance let out a broken whimper, pressing back against him.

_“Ah- Ashi?”_

_“We’re both here.”_

_“You’re both mine.”_

They nodded.

_“We are.”_

They braced one hand next to Lance’s head, held tight to his shoulder with the other, and started to thrust.

They kept themselves buried deep, at first, moving in a steady pulse while Lance sighed and gripped at their arms and nodded: _yes, more, more._ They kissed him: sweetly, then hungrily, then with a complete and utter lack of restraint, biting at his lips and his neck, sucking splashes of color onto his chest and shoulder.

He gasped, and shook, and kept his legs wrapped around them, saturated with sensation, craving more, regardless.

_“Mmh- Keith- Shiro-”_

They dragged their lips over the rim of his ear.

_“More, baby?”_

_“Mh- more-”_

They looped their arm under his knee, held his leg flush against his chest, and fucked into him-

_“Ah-”_

They reached between them, took hold of his cock, and _stroked_ -

_“F-fuck-”_

He felt himself tighten around them, felt them driving into him over and over again, dug his fingernails into the shifting muscles of their back-

_“Fuck- Blue-”_

He pulled down on the back of their neck, pressing their faces together, dragging his open mouth over their cheek-

_“Hh- I- I’m-”_

_“Close, baby?”_

_“Uh huh-”_

_“That’s it, let me hear you-”_

_“Ahhah- ahh-”_

He held on tight, felt his limbs going rigid, felt the tension deep inside growing hot and heavy as they collided with his inner wall-

_“F-fuck, Blue- I- I wanted you so much-”_

_“Mh-”_

_“We wanted you- we- we love you-”_

He was burning up, he must’ve been on fire, he could feel the pulse of their thrusts like a hammering heartbeat-

_“Nh- Keith- Shiro-”_

_“Lance-”_

He dug his teeth into their shoulder, closed his eyes, and spilled over. The orgasm hit hard, a sustained, thrumming tension that stole his breath before it broke. The hammering pulse kept on coming – Keith and Shiro were still thrusting deep inside – and he kept his eyes squeezed shut and rode the sensation as they slid their arms underneath him and crushed their bodies together, on the brink of release.

He buried his face in their hair. He held them close while they tensed and shook. He felt it when they came- a flood of heat and pressure that set a new wave of aftershocks radiating from his groin, to his belly, to his aching, trembling limbs.

He felt their chest expand as they took a shuddering breath.

_“Blue…”_

He felt a now-familiar tug at the edges of his mind just before he was flooded with emotion, and when he looked in Keith’s eyes, he was safe, and adored, and profoundly loved.

They kissed each other, letting the moment stretch.

They looked over at Shiro and found him sprawled on his back: eyes closed, hair in disarray, shorts in a pile by his feet. He was smoothing his thumb over the head of his cock.

 _“Oh,”_ Lance breathed.

 _“Uh huh,”_ Keith confirmed.

They moved with a common purpose. Keith pulled out, pulled Lance into a sitting position. Lance wobbled onto his knees and climbed over Shiro’s body. He pressed his hand over Shiro’s hand – over his cock – and watched him open his eyes.

“Lance,” he breathed. “That was-”

Lance kissed him, pulled on his lower lip while he _squeezed_ against Shiro’s hand-

 _“Ah-_ ”

 _“Ashi…_ ”

He kissed his way across Shiro’s cheek, down to his neck-

_“Lance, I… I can wait…”_

_“No.”_ He kissed the space under Shiro’s ear. _“No more waiting.”_

 

* * *

 

Shiro shivered at the confidence in Lance’s tone, at the feeling of Lance’s lips against his neck. He was still reeling from the intensity of experiencing sex through Keith’s mind – through Keith’s body – _with Lance_ , who was stunning, and perfect, and _naked_ , straddling him, pressing down against him-

_“Ashi?”_

He swallowed. _“You want to? With me? Right now?”_

Lance tilted his head to one side. _“Are you crazy? Of course, I do.”_

Shiro put his hands on Lance’s hips.

_“You’re sure?”_

_“I’m sure. You might have to hold me up, though.”_

Shiro secured his arms around him and moved them easily into a sitting position, so that Lance was straddling his lap, pressing against his cock-

 _“Oh,”_ he let slip.

Lance grinned and rocked against him, arching his spine suggestively.

 _“Oh- ah-”_ Shiro took a breath, trying to keep a clear head. _“Lance, I want to, I’m just… I…”_

Lance’s arms were draped around his shoulders, his fingertips smoothing at his hair.

_“What? Are you worried about your arm?”_

_“Yeah, and… it’s all… new. For this body, I mean.”_

Lance smiled. _“It’s new for me, too. I… I don’t need anything from you, Ashi. I just want to be close.”_

Shiro hugged him and held on tight, pressing his face against Lance’s neck.

_“Lance… you’re so special, you know that? I’m so lucky.”_

He felt Lance’s fingertips trailing between his shoulder blades.

_“I’m the lucky one, Shiro.”_

_“Mm.”_ He slid his fingertips down to the curve of Lance’s ass. He pressed the heel of his hand there, massaging slow circles over soft skin and hard muscle. _“We can be lucky together.”_ He slid the pad of his middle finger over Lance’s still-slick opening. _“You sure you’re not too sore?”_

_“No. I feel amazing.”_

_“You really, really do.”_

Keith moved into his field of vision, kneeling just behind Lance. Shiro lifted his head, and Keith kissed him with an eager confidence that made his breath catch in his throat.

“We have you, Shiro. I’ll keep an eye on your arm. Let us take care of you.”

Shiro sighed against Lance’s neck. Could it really be so easy?

He kept one hand on Lance’s hip and slid his other arm around the slimmest part of Keith’s waist. He held them close, kissing their shoulders, and their faces, and their lips.

 _“Shiro,”_ Keith breathed, close to his ear. _“You’re allowed to have this.”_

 _“You are,”_ Lance murmured. _“We’re yours.”_

Shiro shuddered, felt his cock pulse and twitch against his stomach, felt himself straining toward friction and closeness and the beautiful heat of Lance’s body. He pulled on Lance’s hip and pressed up against him in an exaggerated, self-indulgent grind. Lance made a lovely sound, and Shiro nosed at his throat, and looked in Keith’s eyes, and said, _“You’re mine.”_

Lance sat up on his knees, wobbling a bit. Keith sat up along with him, pressing against him from behind, sliding an arm around his chest to hold him steady. He reached between Lance’s thighs, wrapped his fingers around Shiro’s cock, and gave it a firm stroke, holding Shiro’s gaze from over Lance’s shoulder.

Shiro let his mouth fall open, gazing up at the beauty of their naked bodies in a stunned silence. He nodded.

He steered Lance’s hips while Keith lined him up. He held his breath while Lance _pressed_ himself down onto his cock, guiding his head past his outer ring. He watched their expressions: Keith’s mouth set in a determined line, Lance’s eyebrows arched in blissful concentration.

He exhaled a low moan as Lance took his entire length, settling back into his lap, flushed and blinking and perfect.

_“Oh- Lance…”_

_“Ah- Ashi…”_

He held onto Lance’s hips, begging his body to wait when all he wanted to do was _thrust._

_“Does it hurt?”_

_“No.”_ Lance’s face was so close, his breathing shallow, his hands warm and wandering. Keith was holding him from behind, arms firm around his chest, lips traveling down the line of his neck. _“Nothing hurts.”_

Shiro shivered. He kissed Lance’s mouth, trying to concentrate on the gentle pressure of Lance’s lips instead of the aching throb of his cock, buried deep inside Lance’s body…

He shivered again.

 _“It’s okay, Shiro.”_ Lance’s eyes were wide, reflecting moonlight. _“You can move. I want you to.”_

_“Okay. Uh… hang onto me.”_

He held Lance steady and shifted carefully onto his knees, and Keith adjusted his position, too, supporting the weight of Lance’s upper half, moving his mouth along Lance’s shoulder. Lance let out a tiny moan, slid his legs around Shiro’s hips, and nodded.

Shiro thrusted into him while Keith held him up.

As much as he’d known this moment was coming – as often as he’d pictured it, ever since he’d come to realize how much his love for Lance had grown – he was still wholly unprepared for the way Lance’s mouth fell open, the way his eyelids fluttered closed, the way his head tipped back against Keith’s shoulder…

He pressed his face against Lance’s neck and let out a breathy, broken moan.

_“Ashi- more-”_

He rolled his hips.

_“Mhm- like that-”_

He did it again and again, kissing at Lance’s neck, trying to adjust to the crushing pressure, to the jolts of white-hot pleasure that were coursing through his body-

_“Lance- baby- you feel so perfect…”_

Lance shuddered in his arms.

_“Ashi, I- I think- ahh-”_

Shiro felt it, too – Lance’s growing erection, pressing against his stomach every time their bodies came together. He found Lance’s eyes, still rolling into him in a steady rhythm.

_“Think you can come for me, baby?”_

Lance nodded, arching against Keith’s chest, arms locked tight around Shiro’s neck. Shiro grinned, held firmly to his hip, and then kissed his mouth while he reached between them and wrapped his fingers around his cock. He spread his precum with the pad of his thumb, and then he held on loosely, using the motion of his hips to move his hand up and down Lance’s shaft, over his head-

 _“Hhah-!”_ Lance gasped, nodding, matching Shiro’s thrusts with subtly rocking hips, deepening the connection between them. Shiro felt himself bottoming out, and he had to slow his pace for a minute, overcome by the pressure, by the crushing softness of Lance’s hold on him…

He shook, grateful that Keith was supporting most of Lance’s weight.

_“You okay, Ashi?”_

_“Ahh- oh my God, yes…”_ Shiro breathed, laughing. He bumped his nose against Lance’s cheek and then pressed his lips under his chin, kissing him from his throat to the space under his ear. He had almost come, just then – had almost lost control entirely – but he had to help Lance finish, first, and he had a feeling he knew what would help. He went on rolling his hips at a restrained pace, focusing on the throb of Lance’s cock against his palm. He spoke close to Lance’s ear.

_“Lance…”_

_“Mh-?”_

_“Your body feels so good… we fit just right, don’t you think? You and me and Keith?”_

_“Uh- uh huh- yes…”_

_“Because of you. Because you showed us how. Because you’re so sweet and perfect and so fucking sexy, I- I can barely- ahh-”_

He couldn’t speak for a moment, because Lance was whimpering, his breath coming in hot, shallow bursts, and the sound of it was deepening the aching tension below Shiro’s belly, making him swell and strain against Lance’s inner walls-

_“Blue… you’re so beautiful, like this…”_

Shiro breathed a sigh of relief; Keith had caught on to his strategy. He felt Lance tense at the sound of Keith’s voice, and he quickened his pace-

_“Ngh-”_

_“That’s it, Blue, let me hear you-”_

_“Mh-!”_

_“You take such good care of us… we’re going to take care of you, too-”_

_“Ah-!”_

_“Oh-”_

Lance and Shiro moaned in unison, pushing each other to the brink. Lance’s knees pressed _hard_ against Shiro’s sides, and Shiro knew it was no use – he’d never last – so he dug his fingertips into Lance’s hip, held him steady, abandoned his carefully cultivated restraint, and fucked into him until Lance was gasping, crying out, spilling all over his hand-

_“Ashi-!”_

_“Baby-”_

Shiro’s heartbeat thrummed, his hips tensed and stuttered, his mind was full of the beautiful sounds Lance was making. He pressed his face against Lance’s shoulder, squeezed his eyes shut, and let himself succumb to the heat and pressure – to the smell of Lance’s skin, and the sound of his voice, and the squeezing pulse of his orgasm…

He buried himself to the hilt and came while Lance whimpered and shook, while Keith held Lance tight, while the three of them breathed together.

He memorized the feeling of Lance’s mouth on his neck, of Lance’s thighs around his waist, of Lance’s skin against his cheek.

He listened to the rhythmic thrum of Lance’s pulse.

He thought about how grateful he was to be alive.

_“Lance?”_

He felt Lance’s lips on his cheek.

_“Yeah?”_

He swallowed against the lump in his throat.

_“Thank you.”_

* * *

 

Shiro carried Lance into the water.

He’d had the presence of mind to pack a bar of soap, and the three of them covered each other in suds, holding each other close, trying to keep each other warm. As satisfying as it was to wash themselves clean, the water was cold, and the hour was late, and as soon as they’d rinsed the soap from their bodies, Shiro gathered Lance up in his arms again and carried him back to the blanket.

The three of them dried each other off with towels from the duffel bag, and then they laid down on their pillows underneath several layers of blankets, naked and completely intertwined: Lance in the middle with his head tucked under Shiro’s chin, Keith curled around him from behind, holding him tight. They touched each other for a while – warm hands moving over cool skin, smoothing damp hair, touching scars and lips and fingertips.

“Guys?”

It had taken Shiro a while to work up the nerve to speak, and he wondered if Lance could feel the rising tempo of his pulse, since his face was pressed so close to his heart.

Keith lifted his head and smiled. Lance pressed against him and mumbled his acknowledgement, sounding sleepy.

“Um… can I… talk to you?”

Lance lifted his head, too.

“Ashi? You okay?”

“I’m fine. I’m _amazing._ That’s… that’s sort of what I wanted to talk about. Before the hormones kick in… before things get crazy… I just wanted to say…”

He paused, and they nodded at him, waiting patiently while he tried to organize his thoughts.

“So, when we first got together,” he said, starting over, “I mean, when I first decided I was going to tell you how I felt… I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to do… _this_. Be intimate, like this. And, honestly, I was okay with that. I knew I wanted to kiss you, and hold you, and sleep with you at night, and I knew I’d be so lucky, just to be able to do that much, after… after spending so much time alone…”

They were looking at him with concern, now, so he forged ahead, wanting to ease their worry.

“I… I didn’t even let myself think about being close to anyone, while I was a prisoner. I couldn’t. I just focused on surviving, from one minute to the next, and then once I was free… well, piloting Voltron was the best thing that could’ve happened to me, because it forced me to reconnect. Getting close to you and the rest of the team was such a healing experience… I guess I never really figured out how to say that, before.”

He traced his fingertips over Lance’s hip. He put his hand over Keith’s and squeezed.

“But, as amazing as it was to be close to people again,” he went on, “it had been such a long time since I’d thought about sex, or love… and it was almost easier to keep that part of myself shut down. And then I… I lost my body, so… I spent a lot of time making peace with the fact that I’d never have those kinds of experiences again. So even after the three of us got together, it was almost like I didn’t know how to hope for this kind of intimacy, anymore. Or maybe I was just afraid to. I had no idea any of this would be possible, for me, and I would’ve been so happy just kissing you, for the rest of my life, so… being close to you, like this… using my body, again, and feeling all of these things, with you… it’s- _”_

He paused, cleared his throat, wiped at his cheek.

“I’ll always be grateful to Allura for bringing me back to the physical world… but you’re the ones who brought me back to life. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to explain how much you both mean to me, but… I promise I’ll do whatever I can to show you, for as long as you’ll let me.”

He bit down on the corner of his lip, taking in their stunned expressions. He reached over and wiped a tear from Lance’s cheek.

And then Lance was crawling on top of him, sliding his arms under his shoulders, pressing his face under his chin, hugging him with his whole body.

“I’m so happy you’re here, Ashi,” he said. “I love you.”

Shiro kissed the top of his head. “I love you, Lance.”

Keith pressed himself flush against Shiro’s side, taking hold of his arm. They looked at each other, and then kissed each other slowly before pressing their foreheads together.

“Love you, Shiro.”

“Love you, Keith.”

Lance lifted his head and leaned over to kiss Keith’s cheek. Then he slid halfway off of Shiro, snuggling close against his opposite side.

“I think you should sleep in the middle, Ashi.” His voice was rough with fatigue. “Wake me up if you need me.”

Shiro kissed his forehead. “Night, Lance.”

“Night, loves,” he mumbled. He closed his eyes. He was asleep within a minute.

Keith reached over to move a lock of hair away from his face. His expression was soft. “I think we wore him out.”

Shiro nodded. “He’s out cold. He’s like dead weight when he’s asleep. I love it.”

“Mm. Me too.”

Shiro slid his arm around Keith’s shoulders, pulling him close.

“So… how long until we lose our minds?”

“No idea. A couple hours, maybe. We might be able to sleep through some of it.”

Shiro rubbed his nose in Keith’s hair.

“Rogan?”

“Uh huh?”

“I wanted to have sex. Earlier, I mean. With you.”

“I know.”

“I don’t know how I managed to talk myself out of it. I know you and I haven’t… connected, as much. Physically, I mean.”

Keith propped himself up so he could see Shiro’s eyes.

“We _are_ connected, physically. When you’re inside my mind, I feel you in here, too.” He put his hand over his heart. “And I’m glad we didn’t have sex, if you were still feeling worried about it. I don’t want to do it unless you’re sure.”

“I am sure. I was just nervous. But then, when we were with Lance, together… when I was inside your body… it was like it was happening between you and me, too.”

Keith nodded. “It was perfect.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Shiro felt himself relax.

“I thought so, too. I just wanted to make sure you were okay with how things went.”

“Shiro… this has been the best night of my life.”

Shiro nodded. “Mine, too.”

They pressed their lips together: soft, lingering kisses between shallow breaths, tentative licks between parted lips.

 _“Keith…”_ Shiro kissed his cheek. _“I need you to know that I want you.”_ He kissed the bridge of his nose and the space next to his eye. _“This bond means everything to me, but I wanted you before, and I’ll still want you after it’s done. And when we have sex… it’ll be because I love you, and because I can’t imagine my life without you.”_

Keith kissed his lips, and his nose, and his forehead. _“Do you want to have sex? When the hormones kick in?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“How?”_

Shiro watched his eyes.

_“However you want.”_

_“Could we switch?”_

_“Yeah. I’d love that.”_

_“Could we try it with all three of us at the same time?”_

Shiro smiled.

_“Yeah. I have a few ideas.”_

_“Me, too.”_ Keith sat up, suddenly. _“Holy shit.”_

Shiro reached for his hand. _“What’s wrong?”_

He shook his head. _“Nothing, I… I just realized we can do this, like, every day, if we want to.”_

Shiro laughed. _“Of course, we can.”_

Keith bent over him. His eyes were wide in the darkness. _“I can’t wait.”_

Shiro nipped at his bottom lip. _“Happy, Rogan?”_

_“Mh. So happy.”_

Shiro pulled his head down, kissed the outer rim of his ear, and said,

_“Welcome to the rest of your life.”_

* * *

 

“Rogan…”

Keith was dreaming.

He was in the desert, breathing in the smell of the earth, memorizing Shiro’s smile against the backdrop of a sunset.

“Rogan. Wake up.”

His eyes flew open. Shiro was on top of him, pinning his wrists to the blanket, breathing hard.

“Shiro?”

“You need to switch off my arm.”

“What?”

“ _Now,_ Keith.”

“Why?”

Shiro bent down and pressed his face against Keith’s throat. He inhaled, running his teeth across the sensitive skin. He dragged his mouth to the side of Keith’s neck and bit down so hard, Keith gasped at the sharp pain of it.

 _“Because,”_ Shiro rumbled, close to his ear, _“if you don’t let me get inside you… I’m pretty sure I’m gonna blast a hole right though this planet.”_

 


	19. Divided Into Three Parts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! This was an ambitious chapter for me! I spent a lot of time trying to get it just right, so if you like it, please let me know!
> 
> Thank you SO MUCH for all the love on the previous chapter, too. Please don't underestimate the power of your feedback- I go to my inbox and read those comments over and over again while I work on the next installment!
> 
> Also! I've included a rough outline of some artwork I did of this trio. It was inspired by this story in general and fits best with this chapter so far, so I'm posting it here. I'm not an artist or anything, I just did this for fun! I hope you like it! It's mildly nsfw, but NOT explicit. Scroll to the bottom to see it!

“Is it safe?”

“Yeah, it’s safe- _oh- fuck, Shiro_ -”

Keith felt his shoulder blades pressing down against the blanket as Shiro lifted his whole lower half off of the ground and buried his face between his thighs.

“Lance?” Shiro practically moaned against Keith’s skin. “Wake up, baby, I need you...”

Lance sat up next to them, blinking sleepily, still halfway buried in the pile of blankets.

“Already?” he mumbled. “I think I need to sleep for another hour if we’re going to have sex all day.”

“Uh-uh.” Shiro shook his head, though he kept half his face pressed against Keith’s inner thigh. “Not an option. You can sleep when we’re done.”

“You won’t feel – _ah, Shiro, that tickles_ – you won’t feel tired once the bonding instinct kicks in,” Keith managed, squirming against the blanket as Shiro’s tongue made contact with his skin. “Just – _ah_ – just give it a few minutes.”

“Baby,” Shiro mouthed against Keith’s thigh. “Come here.”

Keith shivered. Shiro was in the mood to give orders.

Keith was in the mood to do whatever Shiro wanted.

And evidently, Lance was, too.

He pulled one of the blankets around his shoulders and moved close to Shiro, and Keith watched as Shiro bent over his raised thigh and whispered something in Lance’s ear before pressing his mouth _hard_ against his neck. Lance giggled and nodded, then dropped the blanket to the ground, swaying on his knees a bit while Shiro’s lips and teeth roamed over his skin. He tilted his head in Keith’s direction and held his gaze, and Keith watched his mouth fall open, watched him blink and sigh, watched him whisper something in Shiro’s ear, too…

Keith throbbed. He could feel their desire filling his mind, thrumming through his body, mirroring his own. He was already slick where his cock was resting against his belly, beads of precum starting to trail toward his chest because of the way Shiro was holding him up. The ache deepened as Lance and Shiro kissed each other – he stared at the slow _press_ of their lips, at the way their tongues were briefly visible before disappearing into eager mouths, at the way Lance _arched_ toward Shiro, letting tiny sounds escape from his throat-

A rush of precum spilled from the tip of his cock onto his belly as he grabbed at the blankets, his eyes locked on the bare skin and parted lips of the people he loved.

Shiro must’ve felt him shake, must’ve sensed the tension mounting inside him. He traced Keith’s body with his eyes, and Keith _felt_ his gaze like something physical, right before Shiro inclined his head and ran his tongue through the slick of precum.

“Nh- Shiro- holy _shit-_ ” Keith mumbled, just before Lance’s tongue was on him, too, lapping at the sweet liquid that had pooled along the crease of his hip-

“ _Fuck_ , _Blue_ ,” he moaned, tensing in Shiro’s hold again, watching Shiro’s face disappear between his thighs-

“Hhah!” he gasped, as Shiro’s tongue slid over his opening. Shiro had both arms looped under Keith’s hips, supporting his weight with no effort at all, steering Keith’s body to meet the wet heat of his mouth-

“Keith…” Lance mumbled against his stomach, his lips slick and shiny with precum. “You taste like flowers, and… and you _smell_ like…”

He moved up Keith’s body, pausing to hover over him before he buried his face against his neck.

 _“Sugar water,”_ he whispered. _“The lake. The sun. Keith-_ ”

_“I know, I feel it… I can feel you-”_

Lance started to shiver. He pressed his mouth under Keith’s chin and took hold of Keith’s cock.

He _stroked-_

(Shiro _licked-_ )

…and Keith came with a muffled whimper, his eyes closed, his face buried in Lance’s hair. He was barely aware of Shiro lowering his hips back onto the blanket, but he felt a shock of sensation when Shiro’s mouth closed over the head of his cock, and he shuddered when he felt Shiro’s tongue on his belly again, licking him clean.

“Shiro- _nh_ \- _Shiro_ , come up here…”

Shiro met his eye with the flat of his tongue still pressed against his stomach, and Keith held his breath - held himself still - memorizing everything about the way Shiro looked right now, taking in every detail of his features as he lifted his head, moved closer to them, and realized that the bond was starting to take hold…

His eyes went wide, steel gray reflecting the lightening blue of the breaking dawn. He stared between them for a moment before he bent across Keith’s body, inclining his head toward Lance’s neck.

“Lance… you… _mh_ -”

Lance was holding a handful of Shiro’s hair, pressing his nose behind his ear.

“ _Ashi…”_ He opened his mouth and licked at Shiro’s skin. “ _Mh_ … _you taste as good as you smell…”_

Shiro let out a small moan, then whispered in Lance’s ear again, and Lance bit down on his lower lip, nodding.

Keith briefly wondered whether he’d rather watch the two of them or participate in whatever was about to happen, but Shiro spared him any serious deliberation. He bent low, hovering just above Keith’s face, so that their lips were practically touching.

_“Still hard for me, Rogan?”_

Keith nodded.

_“I know there are a lot of things I haven’t said to you, yet. You’ve been so patient. I promise I’ll make it up to you.”_

Keith reached up to touch his cheek.

_“Shiro-”_

_“I used to dream about living long enough to see your eyes again,”_ Shiro said, _“and now I need to see what they look like when I put my fingers inside you.”_

Keith shivered.

_Holy shit._

He knew this version of Shiro well: direct, effortlessly confident, delightfully cocky.

He _loved_ this version of Shiro. He’d missed him terribly.

He thought about saying so, but Shiro didn’t give him the chance. He brought the first two fingers of his prosthetic hand to Keith’s lips and pressed them inside his mouth, and Keith sucked them eagerly, enjoying the smoothness of the material against the inside of his cheek, swirling his tongue to coat them with slick saliva. Shiro indulged himself for longer than was strictly necessary, his breath hot and shallow against Keith’s face, and then he pulled his fingers free and moved his hand between Keith’s thighs.

“Lance,” he said, his eyes still locked on Keith’s. “Hold Keith’s leg for me, please.”

Lance flashed Keith a grin and then did just that, stretching out on his side so he could hold Keith’s leg against his chest. He pressed his mouth onto Keith’s shoulder as Shiro slid a fingertip around his opening, touching, then _feeling_ , then massaging slow, firm circles. Keith blinked and sighed and tried to _press_ back against his finger, seeking more friction, more contact… he put a hand around the back of Shiro’s head and nodded.

Shiro took the hint; Keith felt firm pressure, and then a slow spread of pleasurable fullness as Shiro’s finger slipped inside him. Shiro waited, watching his eyes.

_“Feel okay?”_

Keith nodded. _“Feels amazing.”_

Shiro moved his finger in a slow pulse, and Keith pressed back against him.

 _“Uh huh,”_ he breathed. _“More.”_

Shiro raised an eyebrow.

_“It doesn’t hurt?”_

_“No.”_

_“Not at all?”_

_“It feels fucking incredible, Shiro, just…”_

The corners of Shiro’s mouth quirked up in a smile.

_“Just what?”_

_“Just quit being so cautious. I’ve never felt any pain in there.”_

Shiro pulled out, looking like he was an inch away from laughing. _“Yes, Sir.”_ He slid two fingers back in, and Keith bucked against his hand, chasing the friction, moaning through the shocks of pleasure he felt as the digits slid along his inner walls.

 _“Fuck,”_ Shiro let slip, still smiling. Keith could just barely make out the flush in his cheeks in the dim light. _“No pain at all?”_

_“None. Quit stalling. I’m ready.”_

Shiro laughed a low rumble and _ground_ his fingers into Keith, nodding along with the sounds that escaped his throat.

 _“You know I love every syllable that comes out of that smartass mouth, right?”_ He licked Keith’s lower lip.

_“You’re gonna feel my smartass teeth if you don’t get moving, Shirogane.”_

_“Oh,”_ Shiro breathed against his lips. _“You promise?”_

Keith gripped at Shiro’s hair, pulled his head down, and bit down _hard_ on his neck, close to his shoulder.

_“Hnh! FUCK, Keith…”_

Shiro pulled his fingers out, grabbed onto Keith’s wrists, and forced them over his head, pinning him against the blanket. He pushed Keith’s chin upward with the bridge of his nose and then sucked _hard_ at the bottom of his throat, humming against his skin while Keith tested the strength of his hold. He didn’t quit until he’d sucked a satisfying bruise onto the spot, and then he moved his face to the side of Keith’s head and pressed his lips right against his ear.

 _“I love you,”_ he whispered, _“and I need you to get on your knees for me, now.”_

Keith dug his knee under Shiro’s ribs and _dragged_ it down to his hip.

_“Use that body, Shiro. Put me there yourself.”_

The world spun. It happened so fast that he wasn’t even sure how Shiro had done it, but Keith found himself kneeling with one arm twisted behind his back, and half his face pressed against the blanket under the weight of Shiro’s hand.

There was a moment of relative stillness – Shiro’s breath warming the skin of his back, low whispers he couldn’t make out – and then he felt the head of Shiro’s cock circling his entrance, hot and slick, teasing sensitive skin. But Shiro’s hands were still on him, holding him steady…

_Lance._

He shuddered at the thought of Lance’s hands lining Shiro up…

And then he choked out a broken moan as Shiro slid _all the way_ inside him, burying himself to the hilt.

 _“Mh… Keith…”_ Shiro’s lips were soft against his neck, now. _“It really doesn’t hurt?”_

Keith panted against the blanket, trying to remember how to speak, feeling like the line of pulsing pleasure Shiro had just drawn inside of him was the only thing keeping him alive.

_“Nh- no, it’s… oh, God, Shiro…”_

Shiro looped an arm underneath his chest, caressed his throat.

 _“It used to keep me up at night… thinking about touching every inch of your body…”_ His voice was a low rumble against Keith’s cheek. _“You’re perfect.”_

_“I- I love you…”_

_“I love you too.”_ Shiro nuzzled at his face. _“Now… do you want me to be gentle, or do you want me to fuck you until you can’t speak?”_

The words took root in Keith’s mind, pressed a button somewhere deep inside him. He rocked his hips backward, felt Shiro collide with a barrier of pure sensitivity-

 _“Ngh…”_ He fought through another full-body shudder. _“C’mon, Shiro… we both know you’re an overachiever… I- I’m sure you can do both-”_

He was suddenly upright with his knees spread wide, staring at the cascading falls while Shiro’s arms encircled him, while Shiro’s heartbeat hammered against his bare back.

He tipped his head back to rest his cheek against Shiro’s face, held both of Shiro’s hands, and met Shiro’s first thrust with a slow, deliberate roll of his hips.

He felt like the exhale of Shiro’s breath must have been pumping his own blood.

 _“Perfect, Rogan,”_ Shiro barely whispered.

_“Don’t stop, Shiro-”_

The response was immediate: Shiro’s hand on his hip, Shiro’s arm tightening around his chest, and then deep, rolling, _penetrating_ pressure-

_“Mh-”_

_“Lance,”_ Shiro moaned, grinding himself inside of Keith. _“Baby- we need you…”_

Lance appeared in front of them, sitting up on his knees. He draped one arm around their shoulders, slid his hand down Keith’s stomach, wrapped his fingers around the base of his cock. He kissed them both, moving seamlessly between them, close as they were – lips exploring lips, cheeks grazing cheeks.

 _Closer,_ Keith thought.

He slid one arm around the small of Lance’s back, pulling his body close until their hips collided.

 _“Blue…”_ Lance blinked back at him with parted lips. _“Together?”_

Lance nodded, held their cocks together in his hand, and started to stroke.

_“Mh… Red…”_

Lance was shivering, still. Shiro was, too. They nosed at each other’s faces, kissed each other’s lips. Shiro pressed his face into the crook of Lance’s neck, and Lance buried his nose in Shiro’s hair, and then they thrusted in unison, holding Keith steady between them-

Keith briefly considered the notion that he might actually lose his mind.

It was like they were reaching into his chest and pumping his heart with their hands.

It was like they’d drained his veins dry and replaced his blood with liquid fire.

It was like he hadn’t learned to live inside his body – not _really_ , not _completely_ – until this very moment. Until they’d shown him how.

It was like he had been made for this-

_(Made for this… made for this…)_

For this coming-together; for this more-than-physical union; for the steady pulse of Shiro moving deep inside him; for the slow drag of Lance’s lips against his cheek…

For this single moment of loving, and being loved, perfectly, in return.

_“Blue…”_

Lance was fully shaking, now, breathing shallow, stroking erratically, seeking even more friction. Keith cursed the bandages on his hands, because he knew Lance needed to come - knew the urge to thrust ran so painfully deep - and he was desperate to feel Lance’s body release against him, or inside him, or-

_“Shiro… mh- more…”_

Shiro grasped his hip, repositioning him with the impossible strength of a single hand, and aimed a hard thrust deep inside-

_“AH-”_

The pleasure hit like a punch; his body jolted with the impact; Lance let out a muffled whimper as their bodies came together-

_“That’s it, Rogan, speak up-”_

_“Fuck- Shiro-”_

Shiro snapped his hips; the three of them collided; Keith let out a cry that rivaled the crash of the falls in the distance-

_“AGAIN-”_

_“AH-”_

_“RED-”_

Shiro spread Keith’s knees even further apart, gave him room to arch his back, and then fucked into him with powerful thrusts while Keith held on to Lance’s shoulders, while his cries echoed off of the surface of the pool, while his whole body burned and _burned_ for them-

_“K-Keith-”_

Lance spilled over, slick heat against Keith’s throbbing cock-

_“Fuck- Rogan- NGH-”_

Shiro’s arms were a steel cage around Keith’s chest; he gripped Keith’s throat with his human hand as he came-

And Keith followed just behind him, exhaling a raw, ragged groan, fucking himself through his orgasm on Shiro’s still-hard cock while the three of them shook and shivered and held each other up.

The sun started to rise while they gasped for breath.

Keith brought Lance’s hand to his mouth and licked the cum from two of his fingers; Shiro followed suit.

They touched each other’s skin, soaking in each other’s bliss.

“I feel… less crazy,” Shiro murmured. He stroked Keith’s stomach with his fingertips. Keith could still feel him, buried deep.

“Me too,” Lance confirmed. He had his arms around them both. His head was resting on Keith’s shoulder. “But… I still feel…”

Keith trailed his fingertips down Lance’s back. “It’ll take a while to feel… satisfied. We all need to exchange, some more. We can take a break, now, or… we can keep going.”

“Let’s keep going,” Lance and Shiro said in unison. They both lifted their heads and laughed, and Keith felt the lovely, rumbling shock of Shiro’s voice run through his body.

“Okay,” he agreed, relieved, already feeling renewed pressure building behind his navel as he breathed in the smell of them. “You two definitely need to exchange this round, so…”

He put his mouth next to Lance’s ear and whispered: _“I think you should be in the middle.”_

Lance giggled. _“Oh yeah? Doing what, exactly?”_

_“That’s entirely up to you, but… I’m good to go for another round.”_

Lance’s eyebrows went up. _“You want me to?”_

Keith nodded. _“I really do.”_

_“But… I’ve never… I mean, I don’t really know how-”_

_“Doesn’t matter. We’ll figure it out together.”_

_“But…”_ Lance glanced between Keith and Shiro, and Keith could sense his apprehension. _“I don’t think I can do what Shiro just did.”_

Shiro loosened his hold on Keith, pulling out in the process, and Keith gathered Lance up into a crushing hug.

 _“I don’t want you to be like Shiro,”_ he barely whispered. _“I want you to be YOU. I want to do this because I love YOU.”_

He willed his affection in Lance’s direction. He felt Lance relax into his arms.

_“What if I hurt you?”_

_“You won’t. I think my body’s… different.”_

_“What if… what if I can’t make you-”_

_“Blue.”_ Keith put a hand around the back of Lance’s head and held him even tighter. _“It’s me. I almost lost my mind the first time we made out. I have no expectations. We can do this however you want.”_

Lance found his eyes, took a breath, and then kissed him _hard_ , like he’d been keeping the impulse locked up tight, like he’d been waiting for permission.

Which, of course, he had.

Keith knew exactly how Lance was feeling, not only because he could sense it from him, but because he’d spent the entirety of yesterday feeling the same way. Lance wanted the distance between them to be wholly, perfectly erased. Lance wanted to thrust into him until the sun went back down or their bodies gave out – whichever happened first. Lance wanted to be the reason for his euphoria, not just here and now, but forever, for always… and knowing all this made Keith’s hands shake with anticipation when Lance finally laid him down on the blanket.

Lance noticed this, and he flowed easily on top of Keith’s body, clasping their hands together just above Keith’s shoulders. He bent low and pressed a lingering kiss against his cheek.

_“You okay, babe?”_

Keith nodded.

_“I’m good. So good. You just… you make me feel…”_

He stopped, searching for a way to explain. He was willing his emotions in Lance’s direction, so Lance knew, to some degree, how he was feeling right now. But _knowing_ and _being told_ are two very different things, and Lance deserved to hear the words out loud. Keith just had to figure out what they were.

 _“Remember when we were in the black lion?”_ he asked, starting over.

Lance smiled, pressed his knees gently into Keith’s sides. _“Where do you think I picked up this move? You were the first devastatingly attractive person to get on top of me, like that.”_

Keith returned his smile. He gave Lance’s hands a small squeeze.

_“You asked me why I wanted to be a pilot. Why I wanted to fight in this war. Do you remember what I said?”_

Lance nodded. _“You said you wanted to matter.”_

 _“Yeah. And…”_ He let go of Lance’s hands and slid his arms around his neck, instead. _“You make me feel like I do. You make me feel like I’m more than just my fists, or my bayard, or my blade. This thing we have – the two of us, and the three of us – this is why the war is worth winning, and I’m here because of you, and I have no idea how to thank you for that, I really don’t, but I’m going to try, okay? I’m going to try really hard, because-”_

He had to swallow the rest of the words, because Lance was kissing his mouth with renewed desperation, pressing down against his body, moving searching fingers through his hair.

 _“Ashi,”_ Lance called, breathlessly, with his lips still mostly pressed against Keith’s. _“Come kiss Keith with me.”_

* * *

 

The sound of Lance’s voice set cool relief stirring inside Shiro’s chest.

He’d been waiting close by, watching the moment unfold between them, hoping that getting aggressive with Keith hadn’t upset the still-stabilizing balance between the three of them. He’d checked with Lance beforehand – as soon as he realized what kind of impulses he was experiencing, and how intense they were – and Lance had given his enthusiastic blessing. Still, he was realizing that it might be impossible for them to keep things perfectly balanced when they engaged with each other physically, and he was grateful to Keith for finding a way to focus his attention and affection on Lance, given the chaos the three of them were currently inciting within each other.

 _“Ashi,”_ Lance called again, as he arched his body down against Keith and extended a hand in Shiro’s direction.

Shiro shivered.

Chaos reigned.

He pressed the side of his face against the curve of Keith’s neck while Lance kissed their foreheads, and their cheeks, and their lips.

He held Keith steady on his side – felt Keith shuddering with need – while Lance slid inside him from behind.

He curled himself around Lance’s body and whispered sweet things while Lance learned how to thrust, how to hold Keith close, how to make Keith _feel_.

He thanked the vastness of the heavens when Lance reached for him, stroked his length, _begged_ him-

_“Ah- Ashi… please…”_

…because he couldn’t resist the smell of their skin, or the sound of their voices, or the taste of their mouths, or the crushing pressure deep inside them. So he buried himself inside of Lance, because there was no _reason_ to resist; they were here, they were his, they had given themselves freely – their bodies, their trust, their devotion, among other precious gifts.

Keith had given him a new life-

_(I’ll love whoever you choose to be, next…)_

Lance had given him a new name-

_(Ashi… please…)_

…and he knew that belonging to them had finally made him _real_ , again.

The three of them rocked each other toward perfection, and Shiro broke first.

It was because Lance moved like water – like dancing – even like this, in the throes of uninhibited sex.

It was because Keith moaned from deep inside himself, like he was calling the sun into the sky with his voice.

It was because they were a part of him, now, and his body knew how to make sure they stayed that way.

_“Ashi…”_

He held them while he shook, his arm encircling them both, his hand over Lance’s, where it was pressed against Keith’s chest.

He held them until they were both sighing and spent.

He held them until they were still.

 

* * *

 

“Shiro? Are you okay?”

Shiro frowned to himself, tightening his arms around Keith’s midsection. He’d been sitting upright next to Keith a moment ago, sipping from a bottle of water, and now he was practically in Keith’s lap, pressing the side of his face against Keith’s chest.

“I’m… not sure.”

He tried to figure out where the discomfort was stemming from. They’d washed themselves in the pool again and dressed in their shorts, agreeing to give their bodies a break, despite the persistent, protesting throb of arousal they were all experiencing. They’d had plenty to eat and drink from the supplies he and Lance had packed, including the rest of the chocolate ice cream, which had still been cold- a miracle of the Olkari container Lance had stored it in. Shiro had indulged in several more bites, much to Lance’s delight.

He still felt _hungry_ , though. Or… something. Unsatisfied. Emotionally raw. He might’ve asked to curl up in their arms and go to sleep, if it weren’t for the ache in his abdomen that kept his gaze drifting to the thin fabric that was sitting so perfectly low on their hips…

He breathed deeply, taking in the smell of Keith’s skin.

Lance bent down to his level and put a hand on his back.

“What’s wrong, Ashi?”

“Mm.” He swallowed. “It’s better when you’re close. I… I think my mood is swinging, or something.”

“Oh.” The vibration of Keith’s voice was pleasant against his cheek. “I think I read something about that. Your mood and your… preferences… might shift, depending on what you need to do to finish the bond. Your body might be telling you to… uh… submit? I mean, I don’t think you’ve… absorbed… as much as we have. Right? I’ve been trying to keep track…”

Shiro nodded. “You’re right. I know I haven’t been as… versatile-”

“That’s okay,” Keith and Lance said in unison.

Their eager reassurance made his heart ache with happiness. As much as he was desperate to give in to this new, more tender urge, the vulnerability he was feeling had shaken his confidence, and knowing he had a choice in the matter made all the difference.

“You don’t have to,” Keith went on. “We can-”

“We can,” Shiro interrupted. “We will. It’s just… it’s been blowing my mind that it’ll be the first time, all over again.” He reached for Lance’s hand, snuggled even closer to Keith. “I’m glad, though. I want to.”

Keith had a hand on the back of his head, smoothing gently at his hair. Shiro could feel the bandages around his knuckles, though Keith was careful not to let them catch.

“Can we try something, first?” Keith asked. “I have a theory I want to test.”

Shiro and Lance followed him closer to the tree line, where the uniform grass gave way to occasional patches of tiny, white flowers. They sat down in a circle and held hands, and it occurred to Shiro what a lovely configuration they were whenever they were close, forever in arm’s reach of one another.

“Okay,” Keith said, massaging their knuckles with his thumbs. “Quintessence. I’ve been thinking about it a lot, and I think I’ve figured some things out.” He looked at Shiro. “I’ve been using a visualization exercise to disrupt the flow of quintessence to your prosthetic. You maintain all your sensory processing and motor skills, because those are controlled by the original landscape of your nervous system. But quintessence controls all the extras – the extreme temperatures, the weapon manifestations, the energy bursts. The quintessence is _channeled_ by your brain, just like when we pilot the lions… just like when Luca taught me to control the pain in my ribs, just like when you were helping me stay stable, yesterday. You were channeling positive energy in my direction. Blocking the negative. We can influence each other’s moods… share each other’s thoughts… and I think we can manipulate the physical world at will, too, just like the Olkari.”

“Manipulate it, how?” Shiro asked.

“I’m going to try something. Hang on to me, okay?”

Keith let go of Shiro and moved his other hand between the three of them, so Shiro and Lance could both hold it. He let his free hand rest on a patch of grass by Shiro’s knee.

“Okay… uh… focus on me? I can already feel how you’re feeling, so just… crank up the volume- _oh-_ ”

Shiro watched Keith’s eyes fall shut, watched a slow smile spread across his face. He was projecting his feelings in Keith’s direction – _I love you, I want you, you’re perfect and I have to have you_ – and he guessed that Lance was doing the same.

“That… is… _intense_ ,” Keith said, tilting his chin toward the sky. He took several long, slow breaths… and then a shimmer of light gathered around him: tiny stars caressing his bare skin.

“Whoa…” Lance breathed.

“Lance.” Shiro flashed him a smile. “We’re glowing, too.”

“I… _whoa_ ,” Lance said again, looking down at his arm, at the light that was encircling them, binding them together. “But… we don’t even have our crowns on…”

“This quintessence isn’t from the planet,” Keith said, his eyes still closed. “It’s from us.”

As soon as Keith said the words, Shiro knew it to be true. He felt a subtle _pulling_ sensation somewhere deep in his chest, along with a tingling warmth that traveled down his arm and intensified where he was touching Keith. He watched the slow rise and fall of Keith’s chest, mesmerized, until Keith finally opened his eyes.

Keith looked down at the patch of grass where his hand had just been, and Shiro followed his gaze. There was a cluster of tiny, white flowers, where none had been before.

“Keith…” Shiro leaned over to look at the glossy, perfectly round petals that were resting on top of the grass like drops of snow. “Did you _make_ these?”

“No. The root system was already there. I just moved the quintessence into the soil and… told them to grow.”

Shiro straightened up, touched his fingertips to Keith’s cheek.

“That’s _incredible_. But… how?”

Keith leaned into his touch, sighing a bit.

“I was thinking about what Callos told me when she was helping heal my ribs and shoulder,” he said. “I asked her if she could’ve healed them completely, right then, and she said she could, but she wasn’t sure how my nervous system would handle it. The Olkari manage incredibly complex tasks like that all the time. All they need is energy, and… I have energy to burn. All three of us do. I can feel it, or sense it, or something… especially since we started… bonding. I mean, I think it’s happening _because_ of the bond. Because of the way we feel, or because of what’s happening to our bodies, or… maybe it’s all the same. I’m not sure. But I don’t think I would’ve been able to wrap my mind around any of this on my own. It’s like, when you’re with me… when we’re connected… I feel _stronger._ I feel like I’m not just _me_ , anymore.” One corner of his mouth quirked up. “Does any of that make any sense?”

Shiro smiled at him, overwhelmed with fondness. He’d spent a long time loving Keith as a battle-ready warrior – loving the lines of his body as he held a blade, and the laser focus of his penetrating gaze, and the shape of him: sharp edges, hard angles, gentle curves he’d tried (and failed) to force himself not to notice. He knew he would go on loving these things about Keith, but he was falling for him all over again, now. He loved the new sort of gentleness of his hands and fingertips, and the many facets of his deepening voice, and the way he was learning to finally let himself _speak_ , to set carefully chosen words free from the confines of his heart. He loved the poet Keith was learning to become.

He blinked. Keith was staring at him, wearing a gentle, almost teasing smile.

“You can hear me thinking, can’t you,” Shiro said.

“No. I told you I won’t listen in unless you ask me to. But I can feel you. I can tell how you’re looking at me, and…” He shifted his gaze between the two of them, pressing his hand over Shiro’s, against his cheek, threading his fingers together with Lance’s. “How many people get to actually _see_ themselves through someone else’s eyes? I’ve _never_ thought of myself the way you both think of me, and if I didn’t have proof of it, I definitely wouldn’t believe it. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel like I deserve it, but I’m grateful.” He looked at each of them in turn. “I’m so grateful, for you.”

They hugged him; Lance slid his arms around his shoulders, Shiro held tight to his waist, and Keith held them, too, one hand on the back of each of their necks.

“Stay like this,” he murmured. “Keep on _feeling_. I’m going to try something.”

Shiro felt Keith’s ribcage expand and contract against his forearms, felt the _pull_ in his chest again, as if he were an extension of Keith himself, an equal participant in whatever magic Keith was learning how to weave.

He rested his head against Lance’s shoulder, moving a little closer to his neck, so that he could smell the two of them more equally. He breathed deeply, felt the warmth intensifying to a persistent heat: inside his chest, all over his skin, below the waistline of his shorts… he wondered, vaguely, whether Keith would be able to finish his experiment before he completely lost control of himself all over again. Close as they were, it wasn’t nearly close enough. Shiro needed their clothes to be gone, needed to feel their mouths and their hands and their _fingers_ , needed to know what it would be like to accept them into his body, as deep as they could go-

“Okay,” Keith breathed, as if on cue. “Jesus, you smell good. Just… just give me a sec, okay?”

They straightened up, begrudgingly, giving him some space.

The glow around them started to fade, and Keith started unpeeling the bandages from his right hand.

“Rogan? You should leave those, they won’t be healed yet-”

“Shiro.” Keith flashed him a smile. “Trust me.”

Shiro closed his mouth and watched with mild concern as Keith finished removing the bandages, reached for a nearby bottle of water, poured some over his knuckles, and started rubbing at the scabs-

“Red! Stop! It’ll… it’ll hurt…”

Lance had grabbed onto Keith’s hand, and he was staring down at his knuckles with his mouth hanging open. He moved his thumb over one of the scabs, and it fell away, revealing pink, perfect skin underneath.

 _“Holy shit,”_ Lance breathed. He moved his fingertips carefully over Keith’s other knuckles. Those scabs fell away, too. There wasn’t a mark on him, not a scratch, not a scar-

Shiro took hold of Keith’s wrist and bent down to look more closely, examining the second knuckle of his index finger.

“Your scar…” he mumbled, mostly to himself. He straightened up, but he didn’t let go of Keith’s wrist. “There was a scar, there,” he said, experiencing a flurry of emotions: excitement, arousal, affection, amazement, _wonder_. “For as long as I’ve known you…”

A small crease appeared between Keith’s eyebrows. “You’re right. I forgot. I guess it healed along with the new scrapes.”

“You didn’t do it on purpose?” Lance asked, sounding about as awestruck as Shiro felt.

“No, I… I just told the quintessence where to go… imagined that part of my body healing, which it already _was_ , I was just helping it along…” He glanced between them, looking nervous, now. “Too much? Am I scary?”

“No,” they said in unison.

“You’re… wonderful,” Lance said, with utter sincerity, caressing Keith’s forearm with the back of his hand.

“Absolutely incredible,” Shiro confirmed. He brought Keith’s hand to his lips and kissed every one of his freshly healed knuckles. He let his lips linger there for a moment, then turned Keith’s hand over and kissed his palm, and then the inside of his wrist…

“I…” Keith paused, blinked, licked his lips, glanced between them. “I just wanted to be able to touch you…”

Lance leaned over, pressed a slow kiss against his shoulder. “Did you heal both hands?”

“Yeah.”

Lance picked up his left hand and started stripping the bandages away, while Shiro went on kissing his way up his right forearm, reflecting on what Keith had just shared with them. He _could_ feel the energy between them, an ever-present, ever-flowing current of tingling warmth. Could it be true? Was their psychic connection – their emotional, physical, _sexual_ bond – allowing them to generate and manipulate energy in an entirely new way? Keith had accessed the link between them to _heal his hands_ , to perform a legitimate _miracle_. He might’ve been the first human to bridge the gap between the physical and the metaphysical in such a salient way…

Except he wasn’t entirely human. He was _more_ than human. He was a child of two worlds, a product of love and devotion in the midst of a brutal war, a legitimate miracle, himself, in every sense of the word-

“Shiro…”

He lifted his head and found Keith’s violet eyes shimmering, because the energy was flowing inside them and through them and _between_ them - because when Shiro felt such unrestrained _gratitude_ at Keith’s very presence in the world, Keith felt it, too.

Keith’s lips were slightly parted, waiting to be kissed, and Shiro felt the energy swell and expand inside his chest, felt the aching need that had settled deep in his core, felt the partial bond between the three of them begging for completion-

_“Shiro…”_

Keith’s hand was cradling the back of his head, now. Keith’s cheek was pressed against his cheek.

 _“I know you want me to touch you…”_ he whispered, his eyelids fluttering against Shiro’s temple. _“I’ll go slow, I’ll be gentle, just like you want, okay? I can do it just right, I’ll do anything you want me to-_ ”

 _“Keith-_ ”

 _“I will, I promise, if you say yes, Shiro-_ ”

 _“Yes, yes-_ ”

Keith took him easily, elegantly, _carefully_ , to the ground.

He planted one of his knees between Shiro’s thighs and bent low over his face, and the kiss that happened between them was so soft and sincere, it would’ve made Shiro dizzy if he hadn’t been already.

 _“Blue,”_ Keith murmured, nosing at Shiro’s cheek. _“Come kiss Shiro with me.”_

 

* * *

 

 

Lance physically felt the influx of energy that flowed into his body when Keith spoke to him. Keith hadn’t placed the words directly in his mind – not on purpose, anyway – but they carried layers of meaning that Lance understood instantaneously.

_Come kiss Shiro with me._

_I still love you, even when I’m loving him._

_I love him separately from you, and it’s all right, because I’ll share it with you._

_I love you separately from him, too, and it’s all right, because he wants me to. Because that’s what you deserve._

_I can love you both, together. It’s what I was made to do._

Lance raised one hand in front of his face and saw a faint shimmer encircling his palm, weaving through his fingers, as if this new depth of understanding was linked to the energy that was flowing between the three of them. And when he watched Keith caress Shiro’s face and kiss his mouth, the hints of doubt and envy that had been darkening the back of his mind seemed to slip away, until all he felt was gratitude, and admiration, and desperate, aching need.

He moved to Keith’s side, laid a hand on his back, and whispered his name, and Keith rose up to greet him, his eyes like bruised clouds in a sun shower. He pressed his thumb against Lance’s lower lip, and when they kissed each other, Lance spoke to him silently, through the energy that flowed between them, through the still-forming bond he knew he’d never break:

_Thank you for loving him so well._

_Thank you for sharing it with me._

_Thank you for loving me, too._

He watched Keith’s eyes flutter open, felt Keith’s teeth graze the corner of his lower lip, felt Keith’s fingertips tracing the curve of his hip. They pressed their foreheads together for a brief moment, then shifted their combined gaze to Shiro’s face, and Lance found himself being pulled in by Shiro’s focused attention, by the hungry vulnerability that was evident in his expression. Shiro was so powerful, even now, sprawled on his back beneath them, and Lance’s thoughts flitted fleetingly to the simulation room, to the first time Shiro had submitted to them, to the way Shiro’s body had strained and tensed and shaken in his hold. To the way Shiro had _insisted_ on being held, in the first place.

The magnitude of Shiro’s trust in them was unfathomable, Lance realized. He was an unstoppable force in this world: a storm of wind and thunder, a vessel of necessary, righteous violence. He was both shield and sword, protector and destroyer, unmatched in all the vastness of the heavens.

_“Lance?”_

…And he was also _Ashi_. He was soft, and quiet, and gentle. He was letting himself be stilled by them, touched by them, changed by them. Lance’s name on his lips wasn’t a command. It was a request; humble, and patient, and kind.

Lance stretched out on his side and pressed the length of his body against him, while Keith shifted downward and pressed slow kisses underneath Shiro’s belly button.

 _“You look so perfect, Ashi,”_ Lance told him, smoothing his silver-white hair away from his eyes. Shiro slid his prosthetic arm around his shoulders, pulled him even closer. He brushed his lips against Lance’s cheek.

 _“I want us to be together,”_ he said, his cheeks flushed with pink. Keith was pulling off his shorts, pressing his mouth against his inner thigh. _“Like we talked about, when we were in bed. Do you remember?”_

Lance nodded. He’d never forget what it had been like, learning that Shiro wanted him the way he’d always dreamed of being wanted, that Shiro’s eyes had memorized the lines of his body and imagined how they might change – how they might _feel –_ if Lance made love to him.

 _“Will you?”_ Shiro asked, cradling the line of Lance’s jaw, resting his thumb on his cheek.

He was _Ashi_ , and he was asking to be held.

 _“I will,”_ Lance told him, right before he erased the distance between them, kissing Shiro’s mouth, converting the energy that was flowing from his core into deepest gratitude, into limitless respect. He could tell Shiro got the message from the way he sighed against his lips, pulled him in closer, opened his mouth to be tasted, to be touched inside.

Lance covered Shiro’s neck and throat with slow, gentle kisses while Keith worked him open: exploring with his lips, tasting with his tongue, pulsing and grinding and _stretching_ with his fingers.

(Shiro came once, just from this, and Lance licked him clean.)

Lance took his time, even after Shiro was ready: holding him from behind, touching his chest, his stomach, the inside of his thigh. He breathed in the smell of his skin and his hair. He slid one finger inside Shiro’s body – _I need to be sure, I need to know that you want this_ – and Shiro tilted his head back to meet his lips and _pressed_ against his hand in a slow grind.

Lance took his time, even after he was buried deep in the crushing heat of Shiro’s body: leaving hot kisses along the line of his shoulder, holding tight to Shiro’s chest, as if they were in bed together, preparing for sleep. As if they were sharing each other’s dreams- which, of course, they were.

Lance took his time, even after he started to thrust, because this was still new, because he was still learning. He took his time because Shiro’s body was warm and solid in his arms, and because Shiro made small, sighing noises every time he moved, and because some part of him hoped that he could perform miracles, too- that he could stop the flow of time and live out the rest of his days inside this perfect moment.

And then he promptly discovered that perfection could be improved upon, because Keith pressed against him from behind, left a lingering kiss on the back of his neck, and touched along his hip and thigh with unmarred, unscarred fingers.

 _“I can’t decide which I like better,”_ Keith murmured, close to his ear. _“Watching you do this… or feeling it for myself.”_ He kissed around the outer rim of Lance’s ear. _“I love what you do with your body. It’s perfect.”_

 _“So perfect, Lance,”_ Shiro confirmed, breathlessly, grinding backward to meet him in a slow thrust, his head tilted back so they could kiss each other and see each other’s eyes.

Lance’s had fallen shut, though, because he was shivering with pleasure – at the naked sincerity underneath their words, at the unyielding pressure of Shiro’s body, at the slow drag of Keith’s fingertip around the rim of his entrance-

 _“Lance?”_ Shiro pleaded, squeezing his hand where it was holding tight to his chest. _“Tighter?”_

Lance shifted his position, leaning more heavily against Shiro’s back, tightening his hold until Shiro let out a high whimper and nodded. He rolled his hips at a steady, moderate pace, noticing how Shiro gripped at his arm and set his shoulders and searched for his lips- for slow, breathless kisses-

 _“Ashi,”_ he whispered, nuzzling Shiro’s cheek. _“You’re safe- safe with me, always-”_

Shiro came, his hips tense and stuttering while Lance rocked him through it, riding a wave of overwhelming pride, succumbing to the pressure, to the pleasure, to the distinctive pulsing of Shiro’s orgasm-

_“Lance-”_

_“Ah- Ashi-”_

He spilled over, too, pulsing a flood of heat toward Shiro’s core.

 _This is my self_ , a part of his mind told Shiro. _I’m giving it to you, so you’ll still have me, when this is over._

Lance held onto Shiro’s chest until the pulsing stopped.

Lance held onto Shiro’s hand while Shiro laid on his back – silver-white fringe falling beautifully across his eyes – and accepted Keith into his body.

Lance swallowed against a lump in his throat while Keith and Shiro made love to each other, because it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

And when Shiro came again, Lance closed his eyes and bit down on his lower lip, in love with crushing pressure of Shiro’s fingertips digging into the back of his hand.

 

* * *

 

It happened while Keith was laughing.

The sun had traveled high into the sky, and Keith was straddling Lance’s lap, riding him slowly while Shiro held Lance upright from behind.

“Mh- hah!”

_“Oh, fuck-”_

“Lance- ah! That tickles- _”_

_“I fucking know it does just keep laughing-”_

“What?”

Lance lightly dragged his nails over Keith’s ribs again, and Keith clung to his shoulders, giggling uncontrollably.

“AHHA LANCE! AH! SERIOUSLY, WHAT- AH! HAH! _”_

_“Oh fuck, Keith, just like that-”_

Keith nipped at his shoulder.

“You’re getting off on this?!”

Lance giggled between breathy moans.

_“Babe, you’re… you’re riding my dick right now, so-”_

“The _laughing_ , smartass.”

_“Fuck yes, it feels so good when you squeeze like that-”_

Lance slid his hand down and wiggled his fingertips against the smooth skin over Keith’s hip.

“AHAH- FUH-HUCK- LA-HANCE- _”_

_“F- fuck-”_

“Jesus, Blue, I’m gonna hop right off of you if you don’t cut that out- _”_

 _“No- please-”_ Lance begged, mouthing affectionately at Keith’s chest. _“You sound so pretty when you laugh- and you look so pretty when you come-”_

Keith relented, sighing happily against Lance’s neck. He locked eyes with Shiro and returned his teasing smile.

_“I was kidding, Lance. Keep it up.”_

_“Oh- fuck- have I mentioned that I fucking love you-?”_

Lance dragged the tips of his fingers from Keith’s underarm to his hip, and Keith let himself fall into laughter, grinding himself slowly onto Lance’s hardness with a complete and utter lack of coordination as the giggles shook through his body.

“Ah! Hah- I- I think you might’ve mentioned it- _”_

Lance took hold of his hip, guiding his thrusts with one hand and tickling him with the other.

_“Sick of hearing it, yet-?”_

“Hah- _fuck_ no- _”_

_“I fucking love you- ngh- ahh-”_

Lance came with a satisfied moan while Keith went on laughing…

And laughing…

And laughing…

He stopped. He started to lift his head from Lance’s shoulder, and it seemed like an eternity had passed before he’d completed the gesture, like he was moving in slow motion-

No. That wasn’t right. It was like time _itself_ had slowed down, letting him experience this moment in vivid detail. He heard Lance’s panting breaths fall into a regular pattern, felt the steady rise and fall of his shoulders. He watched Shiro’s eyes go wide, raised a hand to run his fingers through his silver-white fringe, imagined he could _hear_ the strands moving against his skin. He turned his face and inclined his head toward Lance’s neck-

_He was in the lake, floating on his back in the summer sun with Lance by his side._

_He was tasting Lance’s mouth for the first time, kissing him in the game room._

_He was in the black lion, watching a halo of stars illuminate Lance’s skin._

_He was falling asleep, pressed up against Lance’s naked body._

_He was making love to Lance, here, on this blanket, for the very first time._

He was looking in Lance’s eyes, here and now, while he experienced – all over again – every powerful thing Lance had ever made him feel. He felt tears falling onto his face as every defining emotion of their bond crystalized into something permanent and found a home for itself, somewhere deep inside him, eclipsing the core of who he was, shaping the person he would become. He felt the whole of what Lance meant to him, all at once, and he knew he always would. For as long as he lived, whenever he held Lance close, he would remember, in staggering detail, every single moment he’d spent falling in love with this fierce, brilliant, blue-eyed, perfect person.

_“Keith…”_

Lance’s voice was so choked with emotion, it was barely recognizable. His hand felt so warm against Keith’s cheek, trying to wipe his tears away, while his own streamed down his face and dripped onto his bare chest. Keith slid his hand around the back of Lance’s neck and held it there, because _I love you, and you’re mine, now, and I’m never letting you go._

_“Rogan?”_

Keith met Shiro’s eye, inclined his head toward Shiro’s neck in a slow-motion tilt-

_He was speeding through the dust in the desert with Shiro by his side, while the sun slipped below the horizon._

_He was eating chocolate ice cream on the roof of the Garrison barracks on his sixteenth birthday, following the line of Shiro’s arm toward the stars, listening to Shiro talk about the records he still wanted to break, and the distant worlds he wanted to see, and the multitude of dreams he wanted to chase._

_He was folding himself into Shiro’s arms in the shack in the desert, holding him tighter than he’d ever dared to do before, willing himself to believe that Shiro was really here – was really safe, was really his, if only for a moment – promising himself he’d become the man Shiro needed him to be._

_He was on the astral plane, feeling Shiro’s mind spring to life inside his own, hearing the voice of Shiro’s secret heart: [I love you forever. You’ll do what I couldn’t, you’ll save the whole world, and I’ll go on loving you with everything I have, until there’s nothing left of me.]_

_He was sitting at Shiro’s bedside in the observation room, listening to him finally, finally say the words out loud, living inside the depth of Shiro’s love while Shiro finally, finally kissed his lips._

_He was making love to Shiro, here, on this blanket, for the very first time._

He was looking in Shiro’s eyes, here and now, while the crystalized memories took hold somewhere deep inside him, while Shiro, overcome, let out a sob and wept onto Lance’s shoulder.

He watched Lance and Shiro’s eyes meet, watched the same slow realization play out in their expressions, watched as the two of them – the _three_ of them – started to glow. He felt the emotion between them rising like a great wave in a stormy sea, and he grabbed onto them and squeezed his eyes shut just before it came crashing down on him.

He shook like a leaf in a gale.

He felt the power of their bond coursing through him, _burning_ through him like a wildfire through dry grass.

He felt his heartbeat hammering in his ears as the energy reached a peak, and he knew, suddenly, that the flames of it could consume them as readily as they could bind the three of them together. So he forced himself to focus, and he forced the flow of the energy to bend to his will, and he moved it down and away from them, into the ground, into the soil…

Little by little, the flames became a gentle, glowing warmth.

They clung to each other, trembling with euphoria, lost in the notion that the already-weakened boundaries between them had been lost, entirely, to the flames.

They lifted their heads in unison, looked in each other’s eyes, drew in a breath as with a single set of lungs.

They barely saw the blanket of snow-white flowers that had bloomed all around them, covering the grass from the pool to the falls to the line of the forest.

They laid each other down without a word: hands shaking, breathing shallow, straining toward the comforting warmth of each other’s skin.

They made love again, not because their bodies demanded it, but because it was raw and painful, existing as a single soul divided into three parts.

 

* * *

 

Later, Keith would find bruises in the shape of his fingertips marking Shiro’s hip and Lance’s shoulder, because _you’re mine, now - forever, for always - and I’m never letting you go._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Congratulations! You made it! I'm hoping most of you were feeling (like I was) that the bonding aspect of their relationship deserved some time and detailed exploration. If not - if you've found yourself wondering where the plot of this story went all of a sudden - don't worry! We should have a bit of a more balanced blend of plot and "bonding" moving forward...


	20. A Problematic Decision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Sorry for the delay on this one. Hopefully the length makes up for it. I was dragging my feet a bit because I really wanted to see how the series would end as I plot out the remaining chapters of this fic.
> 
> I'm honestly feeling pretty down after watching Season 8. If you have some good vibes and encouragement to spare, I would really love to hear from you. You can talk to me here, or find me on tumblr, @songsforfelurian, or twitter, @forfelurian. I sincerely hope you're all well, and feeling loved and supported as this show that has meant so much to so many of us comes to an end.
> 
> Please let me know if you like the chapter. <3

_“Lance. Buddy. You gotta wake up.”_

_“Mh.”_

_“Seriously, man. It’s, like, important.”_

_“No.”_

_“Dude. I’m gonna slap your naked ass in front of both your boyfriends if you don’t open your eyes.”_

Lance did, finally. He didn’t move, though; partly because Keith was halfway on top of him, holding him from behind, and partly because he didn’t have the energy. His left arm and foot were hanging off the side of the bed in their simulated quarters, and Hunk was kneeling next to him, looking concerned.

Lance groaned.

_“Are you guys okay?”_

_“Uh huh. Just tired.”_

_“From the bonding thing?”_

_“Yeah.”_

_“Did it work?”_

He managed a weak smile. _“Yeah.”_

_“So you’re, like, married, now?”_

Lance searched for a way to answer the question. He hadn’t even begun to translate what had happened between the three of them into words. He guessed that he could learn every language in the vastness of the universe and still come up short.

 _“Might as well be,”_ he said.

_“Wow. Congrats, man. We should throw a party, or something. Like, when the fate of the universe isn’t resting on our shoulders, or whatever. But, listen… we have a briefing in an hour. I’ve been texting you to see if the messages were getting through. You guys really need to be there.”_

_“What’s going on?”_

_“I don’t know, exactly, but it sounds like the Olkari finally decrypted something important from the Galra transmissions. Krolia and Allura called the meeting.”_

_“Okay. Uh. I think I need your help.”_

_“Yeah, man. Anything.”_

_“We can barely move. We’re gonna have to work some magic, here. Calories would be helpful. You know those concentrated food cube things?”_

_“Uh huh. They have those electrolyte drinks, too. I’ll bring some stuff.”_

_“Kosmo,”_ Lance called toward the ceiling. The wolf appeared by Hunk’s side and licked his hand, then Keith’s, then Hunk’s. _“Hey, buddy. Can you take Hunk wherever he needs to go?”_

Kosmo snuffled.

_“Good boy.”_

_“Uh. Okay. I’ll try to be fast.”_ Hunk rested his hand on Kosmo’s back. _“Can you take me to the kitchen? One floor down?”_

They disappeared.

Lance took a slow breath, trying to piece together the events that had landed him in this vulnerable state. He’d still been tangled up with Keith and Shiro by the pool when the fatigue had started to hit, and the three of them had scrambled to get dressed, pack up their belongings, and get back to the speeders. They were in no state to pilot them back to the city – they could barely stand, could barely keep their eyes open, and the physical pain of what they’d put their bodies through had finally started to manifest – so they’d set the speeders to auto-navigate back to the hangar and then asked Kosmo to warp them to this room. They’d pulled each other’s clothes off again before falling into bed; it had seemed like a necessary course of action at the time.

Lance knew that he should feel embarrassed about Hunk finding them like this, but he didn’t. He felt a deep sense of pride. Keith and Shiro were _his –_ not because they belonged _to_ him, but because they belonged _with_ him – and he wanted the whole of the universe to understand this as thoroughly as he did.

He picked up Keith’s hand and kissed the knuckle of his index finger. Keith snuggled closer to him, but he didn’t wake.

He reached down and stroked Shiro’s hand, which was resting on his hip. Shiro didn’t wake, either.

He thought about what Hunk had said. They had to get to a briefing in an hour, and they were completely incapacitated. He knew he should be losing his mind right about now.

He wasn’t, though. He was _bonded_. He was being held inside the perfect warmth and safety of it. All he wanted to do was sleep the fatigue away so he could touch Keith and Shiro – be _with_ them – again. The task of loving them was keeping him wholly occupied, and he didn’t have room to _feel_ anything else.

He didn’t feel embarrassed about being naked, in bed with his lovers, in front of his best friend.

He didn’t feel the anxious urgency that usually accompanied a new development in their mission.

He didn’t feel the weight of the next battle that was always looming, somewhere close.

His critical thinking skills were relatively intact, though. He knew the bond was affecting his emotional responses. He knew he _should_ care about their dire circumstances. He just needed to recalibrate. He had to think of things in a different way, now.

If the Galra attacked, Keith and Shiro wouldn’t be safe. They could be hurt or captured. They could be-

 _No._ None of those things would happen, because Lance would protect them. He would find a way to get out of this bed and put on his armor, and then he would plant his feet on the battlefield, between the threat and the people he loved.

 _All_ of the people he loved, he reminded himself. His family. Hunk and Pidge and Allura and Coran. He thought about each of them individually, reminding himself that the bond he had with them was real, too, and by the time Hunk and Kosmo materialized in front of him again, he was feeling much more like himself.

 _“Hey, man.”_ Hunk removed a backpack from his shoulders and pulled out a glass container of food supplements. He opened it and handed a cube to Lance. _“Feeling any better?”_

 _“A little.”_ Lance popped the whole cube into his mouth and started chewing. Hunk held a tablet in front of his face.

_“Want to respond to the team messages? I thought… well, no one else knows what’s going on with you guys, and I thought you might want to keep it that way for now, so…”_

Lance swallowed.

_“Mm. Good idea. Thanks, buddy.”_

He tapped at the screen, logging into his account with his fingerprint to respond to Allura’s message. He did the same for Keith and Shiro; both of their hands were still on his body, so it was easy enough for him to log them in, and he knew they wouldn’t mind. He handed the tablet back to Hunk.

_“Hunk.”_

_“Yeah, man?”_

_“I love you,”_ Lance said seriously. Speaking the words out loud helped him feel that they were true. _“I’d protect you with my life.”_

Hunk nodded. _“I know. I love you, too.”_

_“And when I do get married… I need you there with me, okay?”_

Hunk smiled. _“Ditto, buddy. Need anything else? Want me to try to wake Keith and Shiro up, too?”_

 _“That… would not be wise,”_ Lance mused. _“Thanks, though. See you soon?”_

 _“Yeah.”_ Hunk smirked. _“You guys look hot, by the way. Jesus. I’m gonna need some detailed commentary at some point.”_

_“You got it.”_

Hunk stood up, kissed the top of his head, and left through the main door. Kosmo licked Lance’s hand again and then curled up on the floor next to the bed.

_“You’re the best, you big, fluffy monster.”_

Kosmo let out an appreciative _rowl_ and closed his eyes.

Lance moved Keith’s arm and Shiro’s hand off of his body and, with a massive effort, turned over to face them. They were both out cold. Shiro’s knee was wedged perfectly between Keith’s thighs, the tip of his nose just barely touching Keith’s shoulder. Lance could _feel_ their peaceful calm as plainly as he could feel Keith’s breath on his lips.

The thought of waking them cracked a small fracture in his heart.

He was still struggling to remember who he’d been, before today. His life as a paladin kept coming back to him in disjointed, too-bright, too-loud half-memories. The running and the yelling and the fighting… the loss and the _death_ and the _grief_ … how was it possible that all those things existed in the same universe as these two perfect, sleeping people? How could he ever go back to it, when he knew this was here, waiting for him?

 _Because it won’t be_ , he told himself. _Not if you don’t keep them safe._

He moved his fingers through their hair. He leaned over to kiss their faces and their lips. He touched their skin and murmured their names until they started to stir.

_“Keith. Red. C’mon, babe.”_

Keith opened his eyes. He stared at Lance for a moment and then broke into a grin, his features settling into an expression of unrestrained joy that Lance was still getting used to seeing on his face.

Solemn, stoic Keith was _happy_.

_“Blue? Why are you up? Come sleep with us.”_

_“Sorry, love,”_ Lance told him. _“The team needs us. We have to get up, now.”_

Keith’s smiled faded. _“Oh. I… I don’t know if I can.”_

 _“Mh.”_ Shiro finally opened his eyes. He brushed his lips over Keith’s shoulder in a lazy kiss. _“Baby?”_

_“Hey, Ashi. Time to get up. We have to go meet with the team.”_

He watched the sleepy confusion play out in Shiro’s expression, too.

_“Um. I don’t know if I can get up, right now.”_

Lance sat up and reached for the glass container, which Hunk had left next to him on the bed. His whole body protested, his limbs feeling heavy, moving sluggishly. He handed supplement cubes to Keith and Shiro.

_“Eat those. I have an idea.”_

They each took a bite and started chewing. He spoke slowly, at full volume, hoping they’d be able to absorb what he was saying through the warm, sweet-smelling haze of the bond.

“We can generate quintessence, together, right?” he prompted. “Couldn’t we tell it to metabolize the food faster? Turn it into energy?”

Shiro smiled, swallowing.

“You’re so pretty when you’re brilliant.”

“Which is always,” Keith added.

“Oh, you’re killing me,” Lance murmured. “Like it wasn’t awful enough, thinking about getting out of this bed.”

“Do we really need to?” Keith asked, finishing his cube. Lance handed each of them another one.

“Keith. Think about that for a sec. Is that something you would normally say?”

Keith frowned, chewing. “Um. Right. I feel… different.”

“Disconnected,” Shiro added. “Like it doesn’t seem important, even though I know it’s supposed to be.”

Lance nodded. “You can kinda recalibrate. Just think about, like, heroic stuff. All the people you want to save. Or, well… I thought about saving you, first. It’s like… nothing else seems as important as…” He gestured vaguely between them. “… _this,_ until I focus on something specific and decide that it is.”

Keith and Shiro fell silent. Lance finished another cube, too, letting them work through the problem themselves.

“Okay,” Keith eventually said. “We need to be careful. This could affect how we pilot. How we make decisions. The team and the mission… they still come first. Right?”

The question didn’t sound rhetorical. It sounded like he was really asking. Like he really wasn’t sure, anymore.

“Right,” Lance and Shiro confirmed, though Lance knew that saying so, and following through when it really counted, could prove to be two very different things.

He waited until Keith and Shiro had swallowed the last of their food. Then he stretched out along the length of Keith’s body, draping a knee over his hip, putting his arm around both of them.

“If we wake up fast enough,” he murmured, “we should have some extra time. So… do you want to shine with me?”

 

* * *

 

It was a mark of how deeply they’d been impacted by their bond that they didn’t go and find their teammates as soon as they were able.

They made each other come, first.

They laid together with their legs and arms and fingers intertwined, teaching the current of quintessence that ran between them to wake their bodies up, to ease the pain in their aching muscles. Of the three of them, Lance had been the most sore, inside and out, but the hurt faded as quickly as the halo of shimmering light had gathered around their entangled forms. Shiro and Keith kissed his shoulders and his face and his neck until the pain was gone, until his body was awake and _alive,_ until he was sighing in their arms, trying to stop himself from begging for the other things he wanted - _needed_ \- from them.

He didn’t have to beg, though. He barely had to move. He found himself inside the circle of Shiro’s arms, sitting up against Shiro’s chest while Keith mouthed at the head of his cock, and then _licked_ and _stretched_ him open…

He found himself kneeling, pulling Shiro’s length toward the back of his throat while Keith held him tight, thrusting into him from behind…

He found himself running through the carefully-compiled list of ways he knew Shiro liked to come…

“Ashi?” he breathed, glancing up at Shiro’s face. Shiro nodded down at him, cheeks flushed, breathing shallow.

“Yeah, baby?”

Lance smiled at him, licking a lingering caress around the rim of his head, watching the sensation register in Shiro’s features.

He had learned a lot about Shiro in the past several days, one salient fact being that Shiro liked things _slow_. Not always, and not everything, but by and large, Shiro liked to take his time. He liked slow touching, and slow kissing, and slow, searching tongues moving over his most sensitive places. He liked to fuck slowly (sometimes) and he liked to _be_ fucked slowly, too (most of the time). Unfortunately, Lance knew they didn’t have time to take things slow, right now, so he was focusing on something else he’d recently learned about Shiro.

Shiro liked to watch.

“Keep your eyes on me,” Lance said.

Shiro’s chest rose with a sharp intake of breath.

“Okay, baby.”

Lance grinned. Shiro liked to be ordered around, sometimes, too.

“Red. C’mere.”

Keith pressed against him, chest-to-back, tilting his head to meet Lance for a lingering kiss. Lance went on moving his hand up and down Shiro’s length in measured strokes while he tasted Keith’s tongue and whispered in his ear…

And then he was up on his knees with his back pressed against Keith’s chest, holding Shiro’s gaze while he murmured to Keith, too quietly for Shiro to hear.

 _“I’ll bet you we can get him to come in under five minutes,”_ he said. _“And I’ll bet you it’ll be because of something I said.”_

Keith exhaled a laugh, securing his arms around Lance’s chest and stomach while he rolled his hips, grinding himself into the tight heat of Lance’s body. _“Are we playing a game?”_

_“Ah- uh huh. Last one who speaks before he loses it wins. Nh- no talking over each other.”_

_“Prizes?”_

_“To be determined.”_ Lance nipped at his ear, his gaze still locked on Shiro, who was stroking himself slowly, now, letting his eyes travel up and down the length of Lance’s body. _“You know I’m good for it.”_

_“Deal.”_

“Ashi,” Lance called, without hesitation. “I- _ah-_ I thought you might want to watch me and Keith for a little while.”

Shiro nodded. “You look so good, baby.”

“ _Mh_ \- when I do this?” He raised both arms slowly, gracefully over his head before letting his fingers tangle in Keith’s hair, arching his back, rolling his hips to meet Keith’s measured thrusts.

Shiro licked his lips, nodded, stroked himself a little faster.

“Lance,” Keith murmured, loud enough for Shiro to hear. “You feel so good for me. You like it when Shiro watches?”

“ _Ah_ \- I-” Lance tripped over the words as Keith aimed a jolting thrust at a new angle. There was a very good chance he’d come before Shiro, if Keith kept that up. That was okay, though. He could keep on talking, regardless. “I like everything Shiro does to me,” he managed, looking Shiro directly in the eye.

 _“Fuck, Lance,”_ Shiro whispered, grinding his hips down against the bed while he pumped a handful of measured strokes at the base of his cock.

Keith let his mouth rest against Lance’s neck and locked eyes with Shiro, too.

“Mm. I like everything Shiro does to you, too.”

Shiro exhaled a moan and rolled his hips again, letting his palm glide over his head before he went back to stroking with renewed enthusiasm.

“Fuck- Keith- right there-” Lance blurted, not just for Shiro’s benefit, but because Keith had just slid against his most sensitive spot. _“_ How _\- fuck, that feels good-_ how do you always _\- AH-”_

Keith had repositioned Lance’s hip and thrusted right against the spot. Lance felt his muscles starting to tense, felt his resolve starting to slip…

He had a feeling he was going to lose the bet.

He didn’t mind one bit.

“How do I always know how to touch you?” Keith was asking, watching Shiro’s eyes, sliding one hand down Lance’s stomach to wrap his fingers around his cock while he thrusted into him, over and over again. “Because you’re mine. Because I’ll always take care of you.” He let the register of his voice sink down to a gritty growl. _“Because you feel so fucking good when you come-”_

_“Ah- hah-”_

Lance forced himself to keep his eyes open as he started to fall, forced himself to go on looking at the wrecked expression on Shiro’s face-

 _“AH-_ Ashi- come with me _\- PLEASE-”_

Shiro did just that. He fucked into his hand and shot all the way up to his chest, right before Lance spilled all over Keith’s fingers. They watched each other’s eyes the whole way through, Shiro nodding in time with the ebbing pulses, Lance jolting every time Keith’s hips collided with his body, his hair falling messily across his forehead, his hands gripping tight to Keith’s arms-

_“Fuck- Blue-”_

Lance felt a now-familiar bloom of warmth as Keith fell over the edge, and he finally allowed himself to look away from Shiro, because he loved the way Keith pressed his whole body against him when he came, as if his penetrating thrusts just weren’t enough, as if he could deepen the bond between them by holding Lance impossibly tight…

Lance pressed his face against Keith’s cheek. He wasn’t sure if they could get any closer than they already were, but it was worth a try.

He knew he’d be happy to go on trying for the rest of his life.

 _“Good game, Blue,”_ Keith whispered, as soon as he was able.

_“Were you even trying to beat me?”_

_“Mh. I was mostly trying to make you come.”_

_“I knew you were a sweetheart.”_

_“Love you.”_

_“Love you too.”_

Lance lifted his head and found Shiro reclining against the wall, smiling up at them, his chest and stomach splattered with cum.

He flowed to Shiro’s side and kissed his mouth while Keith licked him clean.

“Were you two conspiring against me?” Shiro teased. He kissed the tip of Lance’s nose.

“Conspiring in your favor, maybe,” Lance laughed. “How did you like it?”

Shiro ran a hand down the center of Lance’s back and pulled him closer. He pressed their foreheads together.

“I like everything you do to me,” he said.

 

* * *

 

Post-orgasm bliss had given way to mounting anxiety by the time they were getting dressed in Lance’s quarters, drying themselves off after the most enjoyable shower any of them had ever taken.

“Guys…” Keith was running a towel through his hair for the fifth time. “That was… I mean, I fucking love you, and everything, and all of that was incredible, but it was also-”

“Irresponsible,” Shiro finished, pulling a shirt down over Lance’s head. “I know. We should’ve contacted Allura and Krolia as soon as we woke up.”

“KROLIA!” Lance yelled, snatching the towel out of Keith’s hands and waving it at him frantically. “KEITH. WE GOT GALRA MARRIED AND WE DIDN’T TELL YOUR GALRA MOTHER.”

“Oh, _FUCK…_ ” Keith slapped his palm against his forehead as soon as the notion registered. “Oh, Jesus. Oh, shit.”

“She must have been messaging you this morning!” Lance squawked. “What did you tell her?!”

“I…” Keith _gulped._ “I told her I was feeling better, and I would talk to her when we got back-”

“BABE.” Lance snapped the towel dramatically in his direction. “SHE IS GOING TO GALRA MURDER US.”

“Guys,” Shiro said, raising his hands in a calming gesture. “It’ll be okay, we can just find a time to talk to her-”

“No!” Keith practically yelled. “She’s going to know as soon as we’re in the room with her!”

“What? Why?” Shiro looked down at his body, as if the evidence might be written across his naked torso.

“Because she… she’ll be able to smell it,” Keith explained, awkwardly.

“WHAT?!” Lance screeched, the pitch of his voice reaching new heights. “Your _mother_ can _smell_ the fact that we fucked each other until our souls melted into a cosmic puddle?!”

“Pretty much,” Keith confirmed, massaging his forehead with the heel of his hand.

“Call her right now,” Shiro said, pulling on a shirt. “We have ten minutes before the briefing. We need to tell her.”

Keith placed the call through his wrist communicator, audio only. Krolia had already made her way to the meeting room, so she was knocking on Lance’s door within a minute, while Keith, Lance, and Shiro exchanged a final, apprehensive glance.

Keith opened the door.

“Keith, how are you feel-”

She fell silent as she stepped into the room and saw Lance and Shiro standing there, dressed in their leisure clothes.

“Oh, I… I didn’t expect-”

She stopped talking. She stepped close to Lance and Shiro.

She stepped even closer.

“Mom-”

“My sons,” she murmured, smiling. “All that I have is yours.”

She embraced them: one arm around each of their shoulders. Keith looked briefly toward the ceiling and sent a silent _thank you_ to the stars while Lance and Shiro returned her embrace. No one was bleeding. Not yet, anyway.

“We should have talked to you,” Shiro was saying. “But we weren’t sure if Keith was going to agree-”

“We really, really love him,” Lance cut in. “He’s our family, and that means you are too, so… please don’t be mad, and… wow… you smell really nice…”

Keith stared, fascinated, as Lance and Shiro both tilted their faces toward her neck, breathing deeply as they relaxed in her hold.

“The bond is an exchange of genetic material, as you know,” she said. “The kin of bonded Galra can identify each other by scent, and all Galra can tell when someone has been bonded. It’s one of the more… _civilizing_ traits of our genetic makeup.” She held them at arm’s length. “I gave you my blessing. I’m proud to count you among my kin.”

She let them go, turned to Keith, and pulled him into a close hug.

“I’m so happy for you, Keith.”

“You’re really not upset?”

She sighed.

“Concerned, maybe. Your timing could be considered… problematic.” She let him go and examined his face. “Are you aware of any side effects?”

“Uh. Yeah. We barely got out of bed, even after we found out about the briefing. I think we would’ve skipped it altogether if Hunk hadn’t come to find us. We’ve been trying to… _focus_ …” He shook his head. “It’s like… I _know_ that it’s important, but it’s hard to _feel_ that it is. I keep getting distracted.”

She nodded thoughtfully. “The Galra feel responsible to their bondmates above all else. A fresh bond forces us to reconsider our priorities. It can override our commitment to others, our sense of duty…” Her eyes drifted to Shiro, who had moved his hand to the back of Lance’s neck and wound his fingers into his hair. “…and our perception of… appropriateness,” she finished, a little stiffly. “You may need to remind yourselves not to get physical with each other unless you’re in private.”

Keith frowned. That didn’t sound right. They were _bonded_. Lance and Shiro were _his_ , an extension of himself as surely as his own hands were. Was he really supposed to stop himself from touching them? Why did it matter if they were in private, or not?

He fought off a wave of dizziness as he searched for the answer to this question. He must’ve known it, at some point, but it was out of his reach, just now. He felt like he was trying to have a conversation with himself – with the person he _used to be_ – except that the connection was faulty, and he kept missing crucial information.

“Your perceptions will settle,” Krolia told him. “It will just take time. Focusing on your other priorities will strengthen your emotional connection to them. You should make it a point to spend time with the rest of the team. I will try to be a touchstone for you, while you adjust.”

Their wrist communicators started beeping. Krolia’s features settled into a scowl that Keith knew was practically identical to his own.

“We will need to continue this conversation after the briefing,” she said. “Let Allura and I take the lead. Try to remember how you used to behave in meetings like this, and…” Her gaze settled on Lance, who was fidgeting with the hem of Shiro’s shirt. “Try to keep your hands to yourselves, until you’re alone. I’ll give you a minute to collect yourselves, but you should get to the meeting room as soon as possible.” She spared all three of them a hurried smile before she disappeared through the door.

Keith stared at Lance and Shiro for a moment before he pounced. He looped his arm around Shiro’s back while he kissed Lance’s mouth, pulling the three of them together, pressing his body against them.

“How long were we talking to Krolia?” Lance murmured, once Keith had started mouthing at his throat, instead.

“Less than five minutes,” Shiro breathed, nosing at Keith’s neck before he started kissing Lance’s face. “Felt like forever.”

“We’re fucked,” Keith confirmed, sliding one arm around Lance’s waist, pressing his face into Shiro’s hair. Lance whimpered.

“Please don’t use that word right now, Red.”

“I’m serious,” Keith said, searching Shiro’s eyes, trying to ignore the flush of arousal in his cheeks. “How are we supposed to make it through a whole briefing? Or a _mission_?”

“We’ll split up at the conference table,” Shiro said, gripping at the back of Keith’s shirt. “We’ll run through some training exercises to prepare. We’ll-”

“Shiro-”

“What?”

“Shut up-”

Keith kissed him, because he _had_ to, because the idea of _not kissing him_ , _on purpose_ , for any period of time, was physically painful.

“Guys.” Lance’s tone was pleading. “We need to go. I promised Hunk. We have to show up for the team-”

Keith kissed Lance, too – his mouth, his face, his neck – and then he forced himself to step away.

They stared at each other while they caught their breath.

Keith tried – and failed – to ignore the kissed-pink tinge of Lance’s lips and the predatory set of Shiro’s brow. He was already tangling his fingers with Lance’s and holding the back of Shiro’s neck by the time they stepped into the hall.

Shiro reminded him to keep his hands to himself.

All three of them forgot, twice more, before they made it to their destination.

 

* * *

 

Shiro found himself even more on edge as soon as he stepped into the meeting room. The rest of the team had already assembled there, and he reflexively rested his hand on Lance’s back as he was hit with the buzz of conversation. It was jarring; he found that he couldn’t focus on any single conversation for long enough to take in what his teammates were saying, but he also couldn’t tune out the _noise._ He found that he wanted to shield Lance and Keith from it – from the static of meaningless chatter, and the too-bright lights, and the sting of reality that was threatening the calm and safety of their bond.

He wanted to grab onto them with both hands and drag them back to the moonlit waterfall and the garden of snow-white flowers. He wanted to feel them moving against him – _inside him_ – until their bodies gave out all over again. He wanted to slip his hand under Lance’s shirt and feel the smoothness of his skin-

 _“Ashi,”_ Lance murmured. His eyes were wide, his expression pained. Shiro _had_ slipped his hand under the back of his shirt, and Lance was nudging at his forearm with his elbow, gently, as if he didn’t have the strength, or the will, to push Shiro away. _“We’re not supposed to, right?”_

Shiro withdrew his hand. It was a massive effort.

_“I’m sorry-”_

“Keith!”

Shiro winced at the sound of Allura’s voice. She’d only marginally increased her volume in friendly greeting, but she may as well have been screaming-

“Hey, Allura.”

And she was coming _closer_ , moving into Keith’s space-

“It’s very good to see you. I’m so sorry you’ve been unwell.”

She was standing too close, and Keith was _letting_ her-

“Thanks. I’m feeling better.”

She was extending her hand in Keith’s direction, resting it lightly on his arm-

“I’m glad to hear it, I- _Ah-!_ ”

She was glaring, furiously, because Shiro had just stepped between them and twisted her arm away from Keith. He held her wrist between them, clasped in the grip of his prosthetic hand, and he glared back at her, opening his mouth to speak-

_SHIRO! NO! LET HER GO!_

Keith’s words – deafening, commanding, _raw_ inside his mind – hit him like a punch to the gut. He saw the truth of what he’d done, and he stared back at Allura in stunned mortification. The buzz in the room had stopped; he knew everyone’s eyes were fixed on them, taking in the gravity of his error.

“Allura,” he murmured, his voice unsteady. “I’m _so_ sorry… Can you _please_ try to forget I just did that?”

“If you let go of my wrist this instant, I’ll consider it,” she seethed, the venom in her tone cutting through the haze of his confusion. He released her right away and bent at the waist in a deep bow, a long-forgotten reflex from his childhood.

“Forgive me, Princess,” he said. “I can explain.”

“It’s my fault,” Keith cut in. “It’s one of the reasons I excused myself yesterday. My Galra makeup… it’s affecting Shiro and Lance.” He addressed the room at large. “It might be best if you guys didn’t touch us for a while. We’re still getting a handle on it.”

“Wonderful,” Allura snapped. “Please tell me you and Lance are fit to pilot, at least?”

“We are,” Keith told her, with an air of confidence that Shiro couldn’t begin to fathom, just now. He straightened up, still recovering from the shock of what he’d done.

“I’m glad to hear it,” Allura said, though she sounded miles away from _glad_. “Do you think you can keep your personal business to yourselves for the span of ten doboshes, so we can proceed with the briefing?”

Shiro felt another flare of cold fury – _don’t talk to him like that don’t TOUCH him_ – which he promptly swallowed. This was _wrong._ Allura was his trusted friend and companion, and he, Keith, and Lance deserved the rebuke. Krolia had been right; moving forward with the bond had been a problematic decision at best, and all three of them would have to deal with the consequences, now.

“I’m sorry, Allura,” Keith said, sounding sincere. “We’ll try not to let it happen again.”

Allura’s expression softened.

“I appreciate that, Keith. I… I’m glad you’re all right.”

“Thank you.”

She met Shiro’s eye, and he spread his arms at his sides, showing her his open palms.

“Did I hurt you?”

“No. I’m fine. You just startled me.”

“I’m sorry,” he said again.

“It’s all right.” She sounded like she meant it. “We can talk later.” She turned away from him and chose a seat at the table.

_Breathe, Shiro. She’s fine. You’re okay._

Keith’s voice inside his mind was soothing, now. They locked eyes briefly before Keith followed Allura to the table and sat down next to her.

“Ashi.” Shiro felt Lance’s hand between his shoulder blades. “Come sit, okay?”

He nodded, fully aware of how close he’d been to bolting from the room.

They chose seats on the opposite side of the table with Hunk between them. Shiro did as Krolia had suggested and tried to compile a mental checklist of the things he used to worry about during a briefing. He stared at Hunk’s hands, which were folded on the table, a safe distance from Lance. This was good. He could predict, now, what might happen if anyone tried to lay a hand on Lance’s body-

_Shiro._

He locked eyes with Keith, across the table.

 _I need you,_ he answered, putting the words directly into Keith’s mind. He needed Keith’s calming influence.

He needed to feel Keith’s hands moving over his bare skin.

He needed to know that he was forgiven.

 _I need you, too,_ was Keith’s reply. _But we have to do this for them. For each other._

 _I’d do anything for you,_ Shiro thought to himself, though he knew Keith heard the words, too.

He felt a bloom of soothing calm in his chest – a gift from Keith. His shoulders dropped, a bit.

_Thank you._

_I’ve got you, Shiro._

Shiro gave him a small nod.

_You do._

* * *

 

“We have news about the transmissions from the battle,” Krolia said, once everyone was settled in their seats. Keith forced himself to look away from Shiro so he could focus on her face, instead. “The small craft that tried to escape from the cruiser was heavily damaged, but the Olkari were able to develop an algorithm to piece together some of the transmissions they had in their queue. Thankfully, it appears as though they were never sent. One of them could prove useful to us. I’ll play the audio for you now.”

She tapped at the tablet she was holding, and the choppy, garbled audio started playing through the speakers in the room. Keith was able to concentrate on the first couple of phrases before his gaze drifted back to Shiro’s mouth. He was wondering how long this meeting would last, wondering if he really needed to wait for everyone to leave the room before he could kiss Shiro, again. Allura might be upset by it, but he doubted Pidge and Hunk would mind, and Krolia already knew they were bonded, so maybe he would only have to wait a few minutes before-

“That’s it,” Krolia said.

 _Fuck._ He’d missed most of the recording-

“Should I play it again?” she asked.

“Yes,” he said, more loudly than was necessary, though no one seemed to notice, since the rest of the team answered in the affirmative, too. Krolia tapped at the tablet again, and Keith forced himself to keep his eyes on a spot on the table while the recording played for a second time.

“…send reinforcements immediately…located the paladins of… five lions are intact… fortified their planet and strengthened… transmission from the Marmoran outpost… another opportunity to… send reinforcements…”

The recording ended. Keith asked Krolia to play it one more time, and he listened even more carefully, committing every disjointed phrase to memory.

“That’s all we got?” he asked her, as soon as it finished playing for the third time.

“Yes. There is a Marmoran outpost in this sector, but we can only guess why they mentioned it. The fact that they are aware of its existence in the first place is… troubling. And we don’t know what kind of transmission they were referring to.”

“Some of the Blades could still be there, right?”

“It’s possible. It’s also possible that the Galra have already overtaken the outpost, and are hoping that we will eventually go there to investigate.”

“It’s likely the latter,” Allura cut in. “They were probably trying to alert a larger fleet that we might be heading to the outpost next.”

“But… we have to find a way to check it out,” Keith said. “If the Blades are still there, they could be our best shot at gaining enough intel to plan our next move. And if the Galra haven’t moved against them yet, they’ll need our support.”

Allura nodded slowly. “Yes. We can’t pass up an opportunity to learn more about the state of the empire, especially if we can avoid engaging the Galra directly. But we’ll almost certainly be walking into a trap. We need a plan.” She looked around the table. “Ideas?”

Shiro raised his hand tentatively. “Princess?”

She inclined her head in his direction.

“I don’t think we should bring all of the lions on our first pass. I think we should treat this as a covert scouting mission until we know what we’re up against.”

Keith breathed a small sigh of relief. Shiro had figured out how to focus on the present moment, too.

“We could ask the Olkari to design a ship for us,” Pidge suggested. “I bet I could help them mimic the green lion’s cloaking technology. If they could make it big enough, we could bring one of the lions with us as backup. Maybe a couple of their smaller jets, too.”

“Good idea, Pidge,” Allura said. “I’ll help you come up with a proposal. Other thoughts?”

“Are we going to send the whole team?” Hunk asked. “I mean, if it’s almost definitely a trap, would it make sense for some of us to stay behind? It would be really bad if all of us got captured at once… it’s not like we have an entire coalition backing us up, right now…”

“It’s something to consider,” Allura agreed.

“Maybe we should see what the Olkari can give us for ships on short notice,” Shiro suggested. “Then we can come up with a more concrete plan and decide who should go.”

“Yes, I think that would be best,” Allura confirmed. “Pidge, Krolia and I will meet with Ryner as soon as she’s available. Hunk, can you set diagnostics to run on all of the lions?”

“Pidge and I ran them earlier today. We recharged green and yellow, too. We’re in good shape.”

“Excellent. In that case, you should all do whatever you need to do to prepare for this mission. I…” She met Keith’s eye briefly before she looked down at the table. “I need all of you to be ready.” She cleared her throat and looked up at the group again. “That’s all for now. I’ll be in touch.”

Keith waited until side conversations started to spring up around the table before he got Allura’s attention.

“Princess?”

She looked at him, her expression vaguely pained.

“ _Allura_ is fine, Keith.”

“I’m sorry,” he said again. “What happened earlier really was my fault. Please don’t be upset with Shiro.”

“I’m not. I’m just concerned.” She gave a frustrated shrug. “I _want_ to be supportive, Keith, but I knew that this… _connection_ between the three of you could have unintended consequences. I just need to know that I can count on you.”

He swallowed. The words stung, and they were exactly what he needed to hear. He could feel his connection to Allura and the rest of the team reestablishing itself, like a fire that had burned down to embers being fueled by fresh kindling.

“You can,” he promised her. “We’ll figure it out.”

She nodded. “I’ll trust your word, then. We won’t be ready to launch until tomorrow at the earliest, so take some time for yourself… or, _yourselves_ … if that’s what you need.”

He thought about hugging her, but immediately realized that Lance and Shiro might become legitimately violent if he did so. He thanked her again, instead, then risked a glance across the table. Lance looked like he was absorbed in conversation with Hunk, but Shiro was still and silent, gripping the edge of the table with his human hand. They had made it through the briefing, but just barely, and Keith knew how profoundly unsettling it was for Shiro to feel so disconnected from his sense of duty and professionalism.

Keith caught his eye.

_It’ll be okay, Shiro. Everything’s fine with Allura._

They had a fair amount of control over their psychic connection with each other, and they’d agreed that it wouldn’t be wise to constantly broadcast their thoughts and feelings at full volume, especially without checking with Lance, first. But Keith found that he couldn’t stand to see Shiro in distress. He reminded himself to make sure Lance didn’t mind if they bent the rule, once in a while.

 _I need you,_ Shiro told him again, with renewed urgency. Keith gripped the edge of his chair, under the table.

“Keith?”

He blinked, forcing his gaze away from the subtle flush in Shiro’s cheeks. Krolia had settled into the chair next to him.

“Hey, Mom.”

She was frowning, scrutinizing his expression.

“I think the three of you should run some simulations with the lions,” she said, speaking quietly. “I’ll send you a list. I can join you later, after I meet with Pidge and Allura. And… _Keith._ ”

He snapped his head back in her direction. His gaze had drifted to Shiro, again.

“Sorry. Right. Simulations. You’ll join us later.”

“Yes.” She dropped the volume of her voice to a low murmur. “You’re struggling. I can see it.”

“Yeah. We’re having trouble concentrating. We… we feel like we need to-”

“I know. You _do_ need to.”

He ground his back teeth together, frustrated, trying not to get swept away by the intense emotion he could sense from Lance and Shiro.

“I thought this was supposed to get better once the bond was complete.”

“I believe that it will. It can be a gradual process for some. Stay close to them, whenever you can find the time. It will help level you out. But… _please_ remember to wait until you can be alone.”

He nodded. He’d needed the reminder.

“What about the aggression? That wasn’t like Shiro at all. It was all on impulse. Is there anything we can do about that?”

“Yes. It’s a common side effect. You can try to avoid touching outsiders until the bond is more stable. Otherwise, if the three of you decide to approach and touch someone as a group, it could eliminate the threat response. Be conscious of the risks, though.”

He nodded, processing.

“I’ll start compiling a list of this information for you,” she said. “I’ll find you when I’m free.”

“Okay. Thanks, Mom.”

She spared him a sympathetic smile before she met Pidge and Allura at the doorway. The three of them left together, and Keith found himself alone in the room with Shiro, Lance, and Hunk.

“…sure it’ll be fine, man,” Hunk was telling Lance. He stood up from the table and met Keith’s eye. “You guys need anything?”

Keith shook his head. “Thanks for coming to get us, earlier.”

“No worries, dude. Let me know if shit gets crazy. I’ll help out if I can.”

“Thanks, Hunk,” Shiro said. “Really. It means a lot.”

Hunk flashed him a smile, gave Lance a small wave, and headed for the exit.

The three of them were on their feet as soon as he left through the door.

Keith vaulted over two chairs and crashed into Shiro. There was a moment of clumsy groping before Shiro managed to pull Keith’s shirt off and lift him onto the table, nuzzling eagerly into the crook of his neck. He paused for long enough to pull Lance between them – he pulled Lance’s shirt off, too, just as clumsily – and then they all set about the task of reestablishing the safe haven of their bond, kissing each other’s lips while they took in each other’s scent. Keith pulled at Lance’s mind until it was overlapping with his own, anxious to let him know about the silent conversation he and Shiro had had before and during the briefing. He was met with warm, affectionate approval. Lance gripped roughly at his thigh.

 _I’m sorry,_ Shiro told them both. He was kissing Keith’s mouth and squeezing Lance’s hip, just inside the waistband of his pants. _Please forgive me._

 _There’s nothing to forgive, Shiro._ Keith deepened the kiss, earning himself a stifled whimper. _We love you. You’re ours._

_I don’t want to hurt anyone._

_You won’t, Ashi._ Lance was breathing shallow, kissing his way down Shiro’s neck. _We’ll make sure._

 _We need to be together._ Keith was sliding his hand down Lance’s belly, feeling for proof of his arousal. _Whenever we can, until things stabilize-_

“GUYS.”

They looked toward the door and found Hunk there, scrambling to slap his hand against the control panel in the wall. The door slid shut.

“What are you doing?!” He gestured wildly with both hands. “You know you’re in the meeting room, right?”

Keith frowned. “The briefing is over, though.”

Hunk stared.

“Dude! That is NOT the point! You need to put your clothes on! Were you seriously about to bang it out on the conference table?!”

Shiro and Lance gave Keith just enough space to slide off of the table. He picked up his and Lance’s shirts from the floor, and they both started pulling them on.

“Based on your tone,” Keith ventured, “I’m guessing that would’ve been a bad idea?”

“Holy shit, YES! THE DOOR WAS OPEN!” Hunk stared between them, incredulous. “Is this because of the bonding thing? Is it affecting your judgment, or something?”

“Yeah,” Lance admitted. “We’re supposed to get to our quarters, right? I forgot.”

“You _forgot_? How is that even possible?” Hunk shook his head. “Never mind, tell me later. I just came back to get my tablet.” He stared at it. It was still on the table, right next to where Keith was standing. “Uh. Is it, like, safe to come near you right now?”

Lance burst into tears.

Shiro ran a hand through his hair in agitation.

“Hunk, I’m so sorry about what happened with Allura. I would _never_ hurt you, or anyone else on the team. Or… I don’t _want_ to-”

“Shiro,” Keith prompted, sliding a consoling arm around Lance’s shoulders. “It’s okay. Krolia said we might be able to fix it.” He looked at Hunk. “Would it be okay with you if all three of us hugged you? At the same time?”

“Uh.” Hunk looked uncertain. “I mean, of course. As long as it’s, like, safe, for all of us.”

“I’ll make sure that it is,” Keith promised. He reached into Shiro’s mind and stopped the flow of quintessence from reaching his prosthetic. He wiped at Lance’s cheeks with his knuckles and kissed his forehead when he sniffled. “We love Hunk, right, Lance?”

Lance nodded, his lower lip still trembling.

“Right, Shiro?”

“Yes.” Shiro met Hunk’s eye. “We love you.”

Hunk smiled. “I love you guys, too.”

Keith started moving in Hunk’s direction, pulling Lance along with him. Shiro followed closely, taking hold of Lance’s arm. They stopped in front of him, hesitating.

 _He’s not a threat,_ Keith told Lance and Shiro, trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to convince them. _He’s family._

They made a silent agreement. They gave each other consent. They put their arms around him and held him close.

“Aw,” he murmured. “Thanks, guys. You’re so snuggly.”

Keith felt a shift in his mood, suspicion and wariness resolving into comfort and acceptance. He felt the same shift happening for Lance and Shiro, too. They came to another silent agreement, and, in unison, kissed Hunk’s face: Keith and Shiro on each of his cheeks, Lance on his forehead. They stepped away from him.

“Wow,” he breathed. “That was… wow.”

“Please don’t be scared of me,” Lance pleaded. He was starting to recover, though his voice still sounded muffled.

“I’m not,” Hunk said. “You’re my best friend in the whole world.”

“And you’re our family,” Shiro told him.

 

* * *

 

Hunk insisted on walking them back to Lance’s quarters, and they were happy to cooperate. It was a relief to accept help from someone who knew what they were going through, who spoke to them with humor and without judgment or reproach.

They hugged him one more time before he left them alone, grateful that he’d come and found them, but equally grateful to see him go. He’d saved them from a potentially humiliating misstep, but he’d also prolonged their separation from one another, and the undercurrent of sexual tension and emotional fragility between the three of them was reaching an alarming peak. Lance found himself pinned against his door as soon as it slid shut, watching Shiro’s eyes while Shiro held him in place with his hips and his hands.

 _I don’t ever want to be the reason that you cry._ The connection was still open; Shiro spoke directly into his mind. _I’ll do whatever you need me to do, to make sure that doesn’t happen again._

 _I don’t need you to be perfect, Ashi._ Lance held his face with both hands. _I’ve made a lot of mistakes since we’ve known each other. And you still love me, right?_

Shiro nodded. _More than ever._

_I know. So… trust me to do the same for you. Trust me to stay._

_It’s not just that. You know it isn’t. I need to know that I deserve it._

_So let me show you._

Lance kissed him, slowly, trying to temper his own eagerness. Shiro needed his affection, not as a physiological impulse, but as a deliberate decision. Shiro matched him perfectly, licking carefully at Lance’s tongue with every open-mouthed kiss, moving the palms of his hands down his sides and onto his hips.

They broke apart for long enough to undress each other. Keith helped, then joined in, leaving slow, well-placed kisses along the back of Shiro’s neck and shoulders while Lance moved the tip of his tongue lightly along Shiro’s upper lip. As desperate as they’d been to fall into each other’s arms again, this measured pace felt right for the moment, as did the reassuring connection between their overlapping minds. They were all aching for the same thing – they wanted to be together, all at once – so they slipped easily into synchrony, manipulating each other’s bodies toward this common goal.

The three of them would never fit on Lance’s bunk together, and that suited them just fine. Keith moved to Lance’s side and pulled three of Shiro’s prosthetic fingers into his mouth, coating them with slick saliva, urging Lance to keep his back pressed against the door, willing Shiro to go on kissing him. He felt Lance’s lips against his own every time they came together, as plainly as he felt Shiro’s fingertips stroking the flat of his tongue.

Shiro worked at Lance’s opening until all three of those fingers were buried inside him – until Lance’s mouth fell open, until broken syllables started falling out of it – until he let his head fall back against the smooth surface of the door, struggling to keep breath in his lungs.

Keith sank onto his knees and worked Shiro open with his tongue, keeping his eyes closed so he could live inside the soothing current of their shared intention, their shared affection.

Lance _begged._

_(Ashi… please…)_

He wrapped his legs around Shiro’s waist while Shiro held him, effortlessly, against the door.

Shiro lined himself up and slid himself _all the way inside_ with a single, fluid thrust.

Lance moaned right into the urgent kiss that followed, and Shiro leaned into him, crushing him against the door-

 _“Mh-_ ”

_Baby-_

_Slow-_

_I know-_

Shiro rolled his hips. Lance let out a ragged moan, awash in the impossible fullness, in the aching stretch of his inner walls. Shiro gave him time, mouthing at his neck while he adjusted, sucking at the spot near his collarbone that never failed to elicit a desperate whimper-

 _“Ah-_ ”

 _“Mm-_ ”

_That’s it baby let me hear those pretty sounds-_

_Ashi- your tongue-_

_Like this-?_

_“Ahh-_ ”

_Just like that-_

Shiro rolled his hips again. He knew Lance was ready for it – knew he was craving this connection, practically begging to be filled to the brim, just as the whole of Shiro’s being was begging to fill up every empty space inside him-

 _“You do,”_ Lance breathed, flushed and blinking, arms locked tight around Shiro’s shoulders. _“You know you do.”_

Shiro gripped under his ass with one hand, gripped the side of his neck with the other, and started to move: slow, rolling thrusts that kept him pinned easily against the door while he moaned, and sighed, and spilled a mess of half-articulated thoughts into their shared mindspace-

_Like that like that and- a little more- your mouth-_

They kissed each other; Shiro slid his hand behind Lance’s head to keep it from colliding with the door-

_Rogan-_

Keith was there, holding Lance’s thigh, pressing his chest against Shiro’s back. His mouth was hot on the back of Shiro’s neck. Three of his fingers were stroking along Shiro’s inner walls, moving in time with the rolling of his hips.

_We’ve got you, Shiro-_

_I’m so sorry-_

_“Shh,”_ Keith whispered, rubbing his nose behind Shiro’s ear. _“We’ve got you. We love you.”_

 _Together?_ Shiro begged, silently, because he needed Lance’s tongue in his mouth like he needed air to breathe.

Keith kissed their faces, stilled Shiro’s hips with one hand, and slid inside him from behind, flooding him with precum as he went. He’d mastered the timing of it, learning to use the spill of sweet-tasting fluid to ease the burning stretch of the too-tight muscle. Shiro moaned a low rumble against Lance’s lips while Lance groped blindly for Keith, tangling his fingers in the smooth strands of hair that were spilling over his shoulder.

_Rogan- please-_

_Red- right now-_

When Keith moved, he moved all three of them together. Lance and Shiro finally gave each other room to vocalize, grasping at each other in tense anticipation as Keith reestablished the momentum between them. Lance watched Keith’s eyes as he settled into a steady, rolling pace, wholly aware that the boundaries between their minds were disintegrating further by the second.

Lance could feel the singular focus of Keith’s attention – _you’re mine, I need you, I have to have you like this –_ right along with the aching throb of Keith’s cock sliding into Shiro’s slick heat, as if Lance himself were the one taking Shiro from behind.

He could feel the pressure mounting at Shiro’s core as he rode the waves of stimulation – psychological as well as physical – as he clung to the notion of being crushed between them, of being held and loved and _fucked_ like this-

 _“Ah- Ashi-_ ” he moaned, because he barely had room leftover to process the feeling of Shiro filling him up, pulsing hot and hard against the core of his being – because the shared sensations just kept on coming, circling back to him inside the echo chamber of their mindspace – because it was just _so much,_ being _more_ than himself, being _theirs_ -

 _“Red, I- I-_ ”

Keith _whimpered_ , his open mouth pressed against the column of Shiro’s neck.

_Rogan- more-_

The plea came with a flurry of disjointed imaginings, but Keith got the message. He maintained his steady pace, but doubled his range of motion, grasping at Shiro’s hip and Lance’s thigh, burying himself impossibly deep, grinding Shiro’s body into Lance in perfect-

punctuated-

thrusts.

_“Ah-!”_

They cried out in unison, preparing to fall. Shiro buried his face in Lance’s hair, and Lance choked out a broken sob, and Keith lost control of his breath-

_Come for us, Blue-_

_Let it go for us, baby-_

Lance shook, and tensed, and came, spilling over onto Shiro’s stomach, inexplicably aware of the gentleness of Shiro’s hand, cradling the back of his head.

He came twice more – or, he may as well have – because Shiro and Keith followed close behind him, and he felt the shape of their bliss like something tangible, as if he could hold it in his hands, or taste it on his tongue.

If he could, he guessed, it would taste like flowers, and sugar water, and chocolate ice cream.

 

* * *

 

Shiro was still inside of Lance, holding him against the door to his quarters, when someone knocked on it from the other side.

Lance’s eyes flew open.

_“Lance? May I speak with you for a moment?”_

It was Allura.

 


End file.
